“You ain’t gotta go home, but you gots ta get the hell up outta here!” K said, a mock stern look adorning her playful face.
“It hasn’t even been 24 hours since I’ve been back and you’re already kicking me out?”
“Looks that way doesn’t it.” She said, glancing in the mirror to see what her hair was looking like before turning back to face Justin again. “I’d already planned this ladies’ day shopping spree with Nicole a while ago, long before you unexpectedly just climbed into my bed last night.”
“So!” Justin maturely countered. “I’m here now. Just tell her that, she’ll understand.”
Sighing, K shook her head while looking for her jacket.
“Looking for this?” Justin said, dangling K’s jacket in front of her face only to snatch it away when she reached for it.
“I’m not even going to play these games with you. I’m already late because of you.” She said, heading for the door.
“Late because of me? Who was all over who?”
“The first time, maybe. But the second was all you.”
“What about the third?” He smirked, with that confident ‘I know you want me’ look in his baby blues.
“Whateva…the point is I’m already late.”
“And you’re going without your jacket?”
“Yeah, unless you’re going to stop messing around and give it back to me.”
“Why don’t you try to take it from me?”
Licking her lips, she sauntered back over to him. When standing within inches of him, she rolled her eyes seductively up his body until she met his eyes. “Why don’t you just give me what I want?”
Trying to play off the fact that sound of her voice plus those bedroom eyes she was giving him was having such a strong effect on him, he laughed and said, “Thought I’d already given you what you wanted. Three times.”
She snatched her jacket from his lowered hand, having already gotten him sufficiently distracted. “Uh-huh, well I’ll see ya later, loverman.”
“Honey, I’m home!!” He called into the darkened house as he removed his key from the lock.
Ah, home sweet home. All alone at home. The thought to get a dog always crossed his mind at moments like this. Moments when he would have liked to be knocked over by someone who was ecstatic to see him walking through the door after a long absence.
This is normally where K would have come in, jumping into his arms glad to see him again, but loaded with sarcastic remarks just in case he were to take for granted his welcoming home. But not this time. Instead she was off at some mall gallivanting around with Nicole. The Keisha he knew didn’t even like shopping. But she’d chosen that over quality time with her boyfriend, who’d only just gotten back the night before after two months apart. You would think she’d have been all for alone time.
But being K, if you expect a certain reaction from her she’s almost certain to go running in the exact opposite direction, either to prove you wrong or just to see the confused look on your face.
He was half-way up the stairs, when the doorbell rang. Pausing on the second to the top step, he debated whether to answer the door or continue on his way. The annoying and persistent ring of the doorbell made up his mind for him.
Opening the door he expected one of three people to stroll in, but the beautiful sunglasses wearing model of a woman that walked in without hesitation wasn’t Trace, his mother, or K.
After glancing around the entryway, she said, “You got a light?”
With blonde hair and the bluest of blue eyes, she had to be the poster child for the type of Aryan nation that Hilter was trying to build. He had to look away before his eyes began to wander her body in more than a casual way. Although he didn’t recognize her, there was something about her that said that he shouldn’t be looking at her that way. Something familiar about her, familiar to him in the strictly friendly way that K had once been, only in a blonde hair, blue eyes, arrogant swagger kind of way.
He was sure that he knew her from somewhere, but where he knew her from was the question.
“Do I know you?” Finally, words were able to come out his mouth. Much better than the drool that he’d been afraid that might have come out instead.
“I asked my question first, so you have to answer first.”
“Alright, fine. No, I don’t. Now do I know you?” he asked, with annoyed curiosity.
“That’s a shame. Guess I’ll just have to go find some local grocery store. Gotta have my smokes.”
“You never answered my question.”
“That’s because it’s a dumb question.” She sighed, rambling through her purse. “Are you sure you don’t have a light?”
“I’m sure.”
“A match? A gas oven…or whatever kind of oven that has coils? Something, anything that can make fire, caveman?”
“I’m guessing I do know you…since you feel comfortable enough to refer to me as a caveman in my house.”
She smirked, lowering her sunglasses a few degrees…revealing only slightly the blues of her eyes. “Of course I know you. You’re the idiot boy who doesn’t understand what ‘don’t come in, I’m changing’ means.”
His jaw dropped, his cheeks blushed from a memory for a few seconds before he said, “I know what it means! I just didn’t hear what you said, I thought you said…well I can’t remember now what I thought.”
“So the perverted one does remember me.”
He smiled then, sparkling white teeth revealing themselves. “How could I forget? You’re the first example of the female shape that these eyes ever laid sight on.”
“Don’t lie, Justin. Remember who you’re talking to. I was just one of many that your lil’ peeping tom eyes spied on.”
“Not just one of many…the first of many.”
“Even better.” She said, rolling her eyes. “So do you have a light or not?”
“No. And in case you don’t understand English I’ll say it in Spanish for you…no.”
“I know you do.”
“I know I don’t’”
“Why must you make everything so impossible?”
“If you’d stop smoking…”
“Then you’d be happy. And we can’t have that.” She said walking until she found the kitchen. Opening drawer after drawer, she stopped abruptly clutching something in her hands as if she’d just struck oil. “You little liar.” She said, shaking her head as she held up her find, which was a small matchbox. Lighting her cigarette she took in a long drag, before she said, “So besides hiding away from me all these years what have you been up to?”
“I haven’t been hiding away.”
“I haven’t seen you in five years, Justin.”
“And somehow that’s my fault?”
“What, you think it’s mine?” She retorted. “Who’s the one that calls to say when she’s in town so we can hook up and do something together? And who’s the one who always comes up with some excuse why we can’t?”
“I’ve been busy. Lots has happened since you’ve been away.”
“Yeah, yeah, so I’ve heard. Apparently that lil’ group of yours is doing quite nicely. Your mug is a regular feature on every teenie mag the world over.” She said, blowing out a long line of smoke reminding Justin of a smoke stack. “Congratulations, you’re a teen heartthrob. Just what you always wanted.”
Laughing, Justin said, “Nah, JC’s the heartthrob.”
“Then what are you? The young, cute, dumb one?”
“Naturally.”
They both laughed together, feeling like old times. Back before there was solo projects, back before there was *NSYNC, back before there was MMC, back even before there was K. Back when it was just Justin and little Sandra D.
“So whatever happened to that girl you used to talk about all the time? Did you marry her yet?” She laughed so hard at that, that Justin almost worried she’d slipped into a moment of insanity. “Nah, I guess if you had, one of the teenie mags would have reported it by now in great detail.”
“So you’re a regular reader of those magazines?”
“I subscribe. Since you went into hiding, I figured that would be the only way I’d be able to keep tabs on you and how you’re doing.”
“You could have just called and asked. Written me. Emailed. Something.”
“Long distance…no, no it would have been international, no one writes letters anymore, never bothered to get my own personal computer…so that’s all a no-go too.” She sighed and shrugged. “But anyways, back to the question at hand.”
“Which is?”
“Which is…what happened to that girl you used to talk my ear off about?”
“Oooh, her. K is fine.”
“K? That’s her name?”
“Her name’s Lekeisha, but everyone either calls her Keisha or K.”
“So this K girl, what’s she like? I’ve heard rumors that you’ve been getting pretty serious with one girl. So who is she? And does K like her?”
“K is her, so hopefully she likes her.”
“You’re dating her?”
“…Yeah.”
“Wait, this is the same girl who got jumped by some girls in high school because of you right?”
“Yep, same girl.”
“The same one who you used to carry pictures of in your wallet? Long black hair?”
“Yep, same exact girl…still have those pictures even though she hates them. Have some new ones too. Why?”
“Have you looked at her?”
He laughed. “No, have pictures of her…see her everyday that I can…but no, definitely haven’t looked at her.”
“I mean really looked at her.”
“Yes, I’ve really looked at her.”
“Then you know she’s black right?”
“She’s black? What? Since when?”
“Justin don’t be a smartass.”
“Don’t be a dumbass then. Just get to the point.”
There was a long silence that followed, in which Justin stared at her and she stared back at him. Sandy ultimately lost the staring contest when she sighed, letting her eyes drop from his piercing baby blues to fall on the floor while she tried to gather her thoughts.
“So how long do you think it will last?”
“What will last?”
“You and her…being together.”
“Well, as long as it’s ‘posed to, I reckon.”
“Don’t get cute with me, Timberlake.”
“With or without you, I thought I was already cute.” He smirked. “But why wouldn’t it?”
“Why wouldn’t it what?”
“Last.”
“The better question is, why would it?”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
“Nice circular conversation.”
“Why would you ask me something like that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“You don’t think we will last?”
“Why should y’all?! Look at the stats…and on top of that y’all had to go and add the interracial aspect.”
“Yeah, cause you know we did that on purpose.”
“On purpose or not, y’all should have never taken it there.”
“Taken it where? To being in love?”
Blowing out another long line of smoke, she replied, “Yes.”
He sighed as his glance fell to the floor while he whispered, “Maybe we always were…in love.”
“And what, you just didn’t know it?”
“I dunno…maybe. You don’t know her. But if you did, you’d quickly see how none of this happened on purpose. And there were plenty of attempts intentional and otherwise on her part and mine to muck it all up.”
“But it didn’t work.”
“No, that it didn’t.”
“So you obviously didn’t try hard enough.”
“If you’re saying that I didn’t try hard enough to ruin my own happiness…no, I guess didn’t try hard enough.” He sighed, before empathetically saying, “I’m happy.”
“You’re delusional. And you’re missing the bigger picture.”
“Which would be?”
“How are your fans going to take this?”
“Like that matters.”
“Like hell it doesn’t! Without your fans you’re nothing.”
“I love my fans, but I’m not going to let them dictate to me who I can and can’t be with.”
“I’m not saying that you should.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“It should be a consideration though.”
“Why?” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I love her. I’m happy. Isn’t that enough?”
“It should be.”
“Then why are we having this conversation?”
“Because even though it should be doesn’t mean that it is.”
“Well thank you Ms. Optimism, glad to know that love will conquer all.”
“It can…”
“But?”
“Nothing…I’m not going to say anything else about it. You’ll be hearing enough about it from everyone else soon enough.”
“We aren’t doing anything wrong.”
“Whatever makes it easier for you, Justin.” Smoke was evicted from the home it’d been making in her lungs. “Whatever makes it easier.”
“You really should stop smoking. It’s very unsexy.”
“So sorry that I can’t be sexy for you. It’s my day off.”
“Ah well, doesn’t matter. I got someone else for that anyway.”
“Yeah…right, right. You got K. And guess what? I got mail.” She said; jumping up, remembering her pile of junk mail she’d left on the counter. Carrying the letter back over to where she’d been sitting next to Justin, she said, “Could you open this for me?”
Taking it from her, he smirked at her. “So finally we get to the real reason you came here.”
“Just shut up and open it.”
“You’re going back to college?” He asked, after opening it and glancing at the letterhead.
“Yeah, I figured sooner or later just being ridiculously gorgeous isn’t gonna cut it. This is my plan B.”
“And a nice plan B is it. Penn State, huh?”
“What, you think all this beauty couldn’t come with a functioning brain too?”
He laughed, before his eyes fell down onto the letter. Scanning the first paragraph or so, he sighed, shaking his head but not saying a word. From where Sandy was sitting, it felt like centuries were passing in the silence.
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
“Wha-what is it?” She stammered. “I didn’t make it, did I?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this…” He said, pausing again, his eyes not meeting her anxious ones.
“What is it?!?” Sandy cried, glaring at him. “Justin, stop messing with me! What does it say?!”
“It says that once again, Sandra D. Owens gets what she wants.”
Squealing, hugging, laughing all followed suit as she snatched the paper from him. Reading it over herself, the process was repeated.
“Guess I don’t have to ask if you’re excited.”
Make it through it all
She laughed, glancing at the letter again before sighing with relief. “Despite what you may think Sandra D doesn’t always get what she wants.”
Instead of responding to the serious turn of her voice, he instead said, “Does she always talk about herself in the third person though?”
“She has been known to do that a time or two. But nothing to schizophrenic levels.”
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cause I'm in love with you
They both laughed. Looking her in the eye, he asked, “But seriously what is there out there that you wanted and you didn’t get?”
She sighed, glancing at her hand again. Folding up the letter and slowly and gingerly placing it back into the envelop she distracted herself from the question.
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms
“I may have a short attention span, but it ain’t that short.” He laughed.
She laughed too, but hers was a short one cut off by a memory she’d been trying not to remember. “Let’s just say I’ve gotten all the somethings that I’ve wanted, but the someones are another story.”
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cause I'm in love with you
He laughed again. “Who could you have possibly wanted and not gotten?”
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
She shrugged, suddenly getting shy on him.
“Don’t even try that bashful stuff on me, I know you too well for that to work. So who was he? And how did he manage not to fall helplessly head over heels for you?”
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything
“I dunno, you tell me.”
Silence stretched out and got comfortable as she stared him, he stared at her waiting for the answer, while she continued to stare right back knowing she’d already given it.
His eyes got wide as his brain finally caught up to hers as his lips mouthed ‘Me?’
One small up and down movement of her head was her reply, as she sighed, her eyes dropping to her feet. He leaned back into the couch, watching her hands as they picked at her nails. The same nervous habit that K had.
K…
He laughed nervously, his fingers running through his hair. Cutting his laughter short, he made eye contact with her, her eyes seeming to have lost some of its usual gleam in replace of a shine that was neither happy nor sad.
Just when he’d felt like the silence had reached its climax, she laughed. Quietly, eyes looking elsewhere. But at least there was some sound in the room, other than that of two bodies hesitantly breathing air like they’d forgotten how and was struggling to relearn the skill.
“I don’t wanna fall to pieces…” She whispered it so low she wondered if he’d heard. If he had, he did nothing to acknowledge it. Meeting his eyes she smiled slowly, almost unsurely, which inadvertently made her smile more since Justin had always been one person she didn’t have to feel awkward around. “I just wanna sit and stare at you. I don’t wanna talk about it. And I don’t a conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you. I don’t wanna talk about it…”
“Cause I’m in love with you” She sang, Justin joining in on the second to last word.
“Avril, right?” He asked.
Cause I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
“Yeah, thought it kinda fit the moment. Remember when we used to do that all the time? Sing any song that we thought went with what was happening at the time.”
Nodding, he laughed. “Yeah, but after Ms. Garrett had been mauled by that Kujo dog that’d escaped from the dog pound just when it was about to be put to sleep…singing ‘Who Let the Dogs Out’ didn’t exactly go over well.”
Laughing, she smiled before singing part of Blink 182's "What's My Age Again?," “Well, nobody likes you when you’re twenty-three.”
“Was she really twenty-three? Cause we were what…nineteen?”
Nodding, she said, “Yeah, we were probably going on nineteen and I have no idea how old she was. But she was pretty young…and somehow had gotten married to Old Garrett.”
“Seventy-Two with a twenty-three year old…that’s just nasty.”
“Well according to what I overheard her telling my mom, he was still fully functioning.” She laughed before quickly adding, “God bless, his soul.”
“Was that the last time we were together…face to face?”
“The funeral?” She asked. He nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Five years…” He sighed. “Has it really been that long?”
“What, feel like you’re seeing me too soon? Cause I leave now and come back in another five years and see how much you miss me then.”
He laughed. “You know, you and K would get along just fine if you two ever did meet.”
“I don’t know about that, but it’s strange though. We’ve both known you for so long…yet somehow we’ve never met each other.”
“Well you’ve been away most of the time…”
“Yeah, yeah…go ahead and blame this all on me. That’s what you always used to do.”
“I only blamed you when it was your fault. Unlike some people who knock over antique vases and then leave certain innocent boys in the room, while you made your getaway.”
“Hey, I never said that you and Trace had to stay in that room.”
“You said you wanted to play hide and seek and that you were going to hide and that me and Trace were going to find you.”
“Well it’s not my fault you and Trace were too stupid to know that you don’t have two people seeking.”
“Well, you could have told us that you’d broken the vase.”
“And would you have stayed in the room if I did?”
“No.”
“Exactly, why I didn’t tell you.”
“So you admit that you set me up?!”
“I admit that you’re an idiot. But that’s all I’m admitting to.”
Rolling his eyes, he said, “Anyways, so how long have you been here?”
“Here in your house? Or in the states?”
“I mean, when did your flight arrive? And why didn’t you call me? I could have picked you up.”
“Have a pop star pick me up? No, I don’t think so. But the next time I want to be mauled by twelve year olds, I’ll be sure to call you.” She said, checking her empty wrist. “Well since I don’t have a watch on, I’m guessing that I got here an hour or so ago…or however long it took me to find baggage claim, get my luggage, drag it to my rental car and find your house.”
“Speaking of which,” he said. “How exactly did you find my house?”
She smiled a sly smile. “I can’t give away all my secrets in the first visit.”
He smiled too. “Alright, how about some of them this visit and the rest the next?”
“I got a better idea.”
“What’s that?”
“We can call up that pretty blonde you used to date and get y’all back on the right track.”
“I’m already on the right track…with K. Remember her? My girlfriend?”
Rolling her eyes, she sighed. “Oh yes…there is the small matter of ditching her.”
“Will you drop it already? I thought you said you were gonna back off of the subject.”
“Fine, fine. I am. I won’t mention another word about how cute you and Britney were together. Or how perfect of a couple you made. Or how adorable your babies would have been.”
“Really? You sure you won’t mention any of that?” He said rolling his eyes.
“Hey, I got an idea.”
“Oh lord,” He sighed. “Whatever it is…no.”
“But you haven’t even heard what I was going to say yet.”
“Yeah and I don’t need to either.”
“But you might like this.”
“Fine, what is it?”
“Nope,” She shook her head, her long “hair so healthy it shines” Pantene shampooed blonde locks swinging around and hugging her before letting go and swinging the other way. “I don’t wanna tell you now.”
Shrugging, he replied, “Fine with me.”
“Alright, you can stop begging.”
His mouth giving up a small smile, Justin just rolled his eyes.
“How about we go see this K?”
“See, I knew this was gonna be a bad idea.”
“How is that a bad idea? I’ve never met the love of your life…don’t you think it’s about time that I did?”
“Who said she was the love of my life?”
“Oh, so she isn’t?” Sandy said, in no way restricting the limits of her devilish grin.
“You can’t meet her anyways…she’s not home.”
“Don’t think I didn’t note that dodge of the question on your part. But fine, so she isn’t home. There’s always tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.”
“Aren’t you tired from that long flight?”
“Okay, I can tell when I’ve overstayed my welcome.” She said, getting up. “But I do want to meet this…” she hesitated before begrudgingly spitting out, “girlfriend of yours.”
Hearing the shrill ring of the phone, Justin broke into a light jog over to it. “Hello?”
“I heard a beautiful woman visited your house this afternoon.” K said, skipping greetings.
“How did you know about that?”
“So it’s true!” She cried. “Who is she?”
“Who told you?”
“Who do you think?”
“How did my mom know she was here already? Did they talk or something? Or do women, as I’ve always suspected, naturally have CIA and FBI tendencies?
“The FBI and CIA ain’t got nothing on a nosey mother.” K laughed.
“So what exactly did she tell you?”
“That some mystery girl from your past was back in town and might try to push up on you.”
“Sandy isn’t a mystery girl from my past. I mean yeah I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“But who is she? And how come in all this time I’ve known you I’ve never heard about her or seen her?”
“I’m sure you’ve heard about her, you just don’t remember. And the reason you haven’t seen her is the same reason I haven’t seen her…she’s been away in Europe modeling for the last five years.”
“She’s a model?” Sucking her teeth, she sighed, “Of course she’s a model.”
“What do you mean ‘of course she’s a model’?”
“Can’t you ever hang out with ugly or regular looking women?” She sighed, shaking her head before muttering more to herself than Justin, “First the Pop Princess, now a friggin’ model.”
Able to decipher her mumbled words from years of practice, Justin just laughed.
“You’re laughing, but I’m serious. So she’s been in Europe modeling for five years. I’ve known you longer than five years, Justin. Where was she all that time?”
“Her family and my family have been friends long before I was born. Before we moved to Millington…we used to be next door neighbors. After we moved, we saw each other for some holidays, occasional weekends. Not very often, so then when she went off to do her modeling thing we just completely lost contact.”
“Uh-huh. So you’ve been hiding her for all this time.”
“I haven’t been hiding her. You can meet her if you want.” He added, “She wants to get to know you.”
“So she knows about me?! She knows about me and you never told me anything about her?! What did you tell her?”
“Nothing bad, don’t worry. She knows about you cause I like to talk about you behind your back.” He laughed and when he realized that he was laughing by himself, he tried again saying, “She knows about you cause you’re important enough in my life to talk about.”
“Or she knows about me cause she’s important enough in your life not to keep secrets from her.” K quickly countered.
He sighed. “I don’t want to argue with you right now.”
“Why is she there right now?”
“No and she’s not coming over either…so before you start to burst out with ‘Say My Name’ lyrics…Keisha, K, baby, love…I don’t want to fight. I just want to spend time with you. Non-fighting time with you. Under the covers time with you.”
“Is that all you think about?”
“Depends…if I say yes, will you say no to alone time?”
“We can’t anyways.”
“Why?”
“Cause today’s ladies’ day.”
“Then un-make it ‘ladies’ day.’”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“I dunno. Clubbing, maybe. Nik was talking about going to this new strip club that opened up last week.”
“You’re not going to a fucking strip club!”
“Okay, daddy.” K said, rolling her eyes.
“If you go…then I’m going with you.”
“Why? Do you want to get a lap dance from a thong-wearing man who’s willing and ready to back dat thang up on your ass from a couple of ones strategically placed into his animal print underwear?”
He sighed, trying to suppress the strong image that K had nearly succeeded in putting in his head. “To spend time with you…I’ll do what I gotta do.”
Laughing, she said, “Justin that was pretty good. It was almost believable. I’ll come over later tonight. And I’m not going to any strip clubs…you know that’s not my style anyways.”
“You will come?”
“I said I would, didn’t I?”
“K, you know, sometimes I wonder why…”
“Why, what? Why you’re with me?”
“No. Why I don’t start wearing the pants in this relationship.”
“Because you look too good in that mini skirt.” She laughed. “Besides there’s plenty of time later on for you to regress to caveman like ways. Give it time, you’re just saving the best for last.” She said, before checking the time. “So I’ll see you tonight then. Wear that sexy red dress I like, you know the one.” And with that she hung up the phone. No goodbyes necessary.
Justin just shook his head, a small smile on his face.
