“So are you on your way to the emergency room or what?” Trace asked, smiling.
“No, but if I was I wouldn’t able to talk to you on my home phone. Now would I, genius?”
Rolling his eyes, Trace ignored Justin’s extra comments. “Then K must have taken the news well.”
“I didn’t tell her.”
“You didn’t tell her?!”
“No.”
“I know you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I didn’t think you could be this stupid either.”
“What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, right?” Justin replied, already having come to the decision that telling K what happened between him and Sandy was pointless and would start an unnecessary fight.
“But what you think she doesn’t know, but somehow finds out anyway, can really hurt you!”
“How is she going to find out if I don’t tell her? Sandy’s already told her everything, but fortunately she didn’t even know it was Sandy she was talking to.”
“Wha-wha-what?” Trace said, clearly confused. “You’re going to have to do me like Craig David, and fill me in.”
Laughing, Justin rolled his eyes. “It’s a long story. Just know that K has already been told what’s going on, technically. And I’m not going to say anything about it. Because really it was just a stupid kiss and it didn’t mean anything.”
“Mmmhmm. Just a stupid kiss, huh? Well what if she turned around and did the same thing with someone else? Would it be just a stupid kiss to you then?”
Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Justin said, “Of course it would be different then.”
“Different how? It was just a stupid kiss, remember?” Trace countered. “Or is it different because K is trustworthy and loyal?”
“Since when did you become such an advocate for K’s character?” Justin complained, frowning. “What happened to the good ol’ Trace, who spent his time thinking of ways to piss K off without it being able to be obvious that you were the one doing it?”
“It’s called growing up, Justin. You should try it sometime. Who knows you might find you like it.”
“Whatever.” Justin retorted maturely.
“So you’re really not going to tell her?”
“Not if I don’t have to.”
“What if she asks you point blank?”
He sighed, remembering how he’d already come to the bridge, crossing it without much thought to the consequences. “Um, she kinda already did.”
“So you lied.” Trace said matter-of-factly. “Justin…” He trailed off with a sigh.
“I know, I know. I’m scum. But what did you expect me to do? My hangover was killing me, I felt like I was dying. And then as soon as Sandy leaves, K comes in demanding answers. So I didn’t want to deal with it right then...so I…”
“So you lied.” Trace repeated, disappointedly.
“Yeah, but it sounds so much worse when you say it.” Justin said, frowning again.
“What if she finds out?”
“She won’t.”
“But what if…”
Cutting him off, Justin said, firmly. “She won’t.”
“But what if she does?” Trace persisted.
“What if I hang up, right now?”
“It’s a tough job but someone’s gotta be your conscience.”
“And what a nice pocket sized conscience you are.” Justin said, smiling.
“When I get my growth spurt I’m gonna be towering over all y’all.” Trace said, jokingly.
“Yeah, yeah. That’s what you’ve been saying since the fifth grade.”
“Fifth grade was a good year. Remember when I super glued you to your desk?” Trace said, his voice dissolving into laughter.
“Yeah, that was hilarious, man.” Justin said, rolling his eyes. “Remind me to punch you the next time I see you.”
Laughing, Trace said, “Oh yeah, I’ll be sure to do that. But it was funny though, cause you freaked out. And since you didn’t want anyone to know that you’d fallen for that, you starting tugging and tugging until your pants ripped. And for some reason you didn’t even realize they’d ripped and you’d turned all smugly toward me to laugh at me, telling me how I’d have to wake up pretty early in the morning to pull a fast one like that on Justin Timberlake…right before you walked out of the room and into the hall full of people. Oh man, that was hilarious. I don’t know how I kept a straight face for so long.”
“And knowing you, you probably would have let me go the rest of the day without telling me. Good thing, K caught me before I could get completely down the hall.”
“Yep, you’re lucky K’s a softy when it comes to you. I always used to wonder what she saw in you. I mean, she’s smart, funny, cute, nice…when she wants to be. You know everything that you’re not.” Trace laughed.
“Whatever. I have that Timberlake charm that no girl can resist.”
“Uh-huh. Well she managed to resist it for a long time.”
“But eventually it got the best of her.”
“I read a quote somewhere that said something about love being a prolonged madness.”
“You can read?” Justin asked, feigning shock.
“You’re one to talk Mr. Where’s-the-pictures-in-this-book?!”
“Is it my fault that all the best books have pictures in it?”
“Yet another reason why you and K belong together.” Trace said sarcastically. “At least if y’all have kids together, she’ll able to teach them to appreciate literature beyond the insightful genius of Dr. Seuss.”
Smiling, Justin retorted, “Hey, Oh, the Places You’ll Go! changed my life.”
“The sad thing is, I bet it did.” Trace said. “Anyways, back to what I was saying about that quote. If love is a prolonged madness, then eventually when she becomes sane again…”
Interrupting him, Justin sighed. “Damn, man, are you trying to depress me?”
“No.” Trace replied, innocently enough.
“Well you’re doing a good job anyways.”
Trace sighed. “I was only half-serious, Justin. I know you love her and you’re for the most part really good for her. But sometimes…sometimes…”
“I do stupid things.” Justin supplied.
“I was trying to find a nicer way to say that. But yeah, you do stupid things. And this not telling her about the kiss thing is definitely one of those stupid things.”
Justin sighed, really not wanting to talk about this again. “I just don’t see why it should matter. Sandy’s gone. The kiss was a mistake.”
“Then if it doesn’t matter, telling K shouldn’t be such a big deal.”
“You know what…I think I’m getting another call.”
“Uh-huh, I bet you are. But that’s fine. Don’t talk to me anymore ‘cause I’m making too much sense.”
Smiling he said, “You know me so well. Adios Tiny Tim.”
“You know I hate when you call me that.”
“And why do you think I say it so much?” Justin laughed.
“Bye Timberbitch.”
Britney Spears my friend? Ha, that is to laugh. Or so I’d always thought. But then…I dunno. The Sandy thing happened. Then Sandy just up and leaves all of a sudden and as if I couldn’t live my life without some pretty blonde to stir it up a little…Britney randomly called me up one day. Just out of the blue, which I’m finding to be more and more of her style.
You’re probably wondering what she wanted. Well, at first she didn’t really know why she’d called. She just needed to call someone and she’d just scrolled down the list of the numbers on her phonebook in her cell and randomly landed on mine. Don’t ask me how she had my number, cause I don’t remember giving it to her, but I didn’t ask her all that. And we just talked…about nothing. We had a conversation about absolutely nothing for a straight hour almost. My cell phone bill is going to be a nightmare.
But while we were talking, I don’t know why, (okay that’s a lie I know why, it’s because the bitch has been on my mind ever since I saw that car pulling out of Justin’s driveway and he’d pathetically told me “nobody” was the name of the person driving) but I brought up Sandy into the conversation which immediately provoked a groan out of Brit (that’s what I call her sometimes now. It’s crazy huh? Britney and me on a nickname basis…who would’ve thought).
“So you’ve met her, I’m guessing.” I said.
“Oh yeah, we’ve met.” Britney had said, not making it sound like it had been a pleasure to make Sandy’s acquaintance.
“And?”
“And I dunno…I mean, don’t get me wrong she seemed nice and all. And if it wasn’t for me being with Justin at the time I probably would have become friends with her.” She laughed then before adding, “You know what, now that I think about it…she kinda reminds me of you. Y’all are a lot alike.”
Rolling my eyes, I replied, “Yeah, Justin said the same thing.”
She laughed. “Well don’t take it as an insult, she really is a nice person…when she wants be. It’s just…and here’s where y’all are different.” Britney sighed. “I dunno, some of the things she would do and say with Justin right in front of me, had me be like ‘Girl, don’t you know that’s my man you’re flirting with right in front of me!’”
“Hmmm.”
“And Justin acted like it was normal. I mean, y’all two had a lil’ sumthing going on too that pissed me off for the longest, but it was…I dunno, more innocent-like.” Britney said. “I dunno, it was different though. Now don’t get me wrong it still pissed me off, but I never really hated you…I just hated how much Justin liked you.”
“And with Sandy?”
“She’s okay, I guess. And I’m only able to say this since I’m not with Justin anymore, cause if I was she’d probably still look like a bitch in my eyes.”
“Glad to know this is someone you and Justin think I’m so much like.”
Laughing, Britney said, “If you were completely like Sandy, believe me I wouldn’t be talking to you now. The only thing y’all have in common is your sense of humor and on the those rare occasions when I saw her and she wasn’t making me feel like I had to compete with her or something, then she showed she could be nice as well. But that, like I said, was a rare occurrence.”
Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold.
Y’all remember that old girl scout song? Yeah, well I’d been able to make a new friend but keeping the old wasn’t quite working out as easily.
Ever since I started talking more and hanging out every now and then with Britney, I’d started to see a different side of Britney. I’d been there a couple of times when Britney was harassed by the paparazzi, something that by some very rare good luck of mine I hadn’t had to deal with when it came to Justin. I’m even supposed to go to the camp that Britney has with her and see the little performance the kids put on.
I had gotten so used to hating her that to suddenly like her was…strange. Shit, I want to be her friend now. Hell, I am her friend now. She calls me at least two times a week to just talk about nothing and everything. And whenever we can we’d try to hang out together.
And the funny thing was that Justin had admitted to me that he was kind of jealous of our budding friendship.
All those “sexy outfits” which had done nothing…okay they had done something for Justin and me in the bedroom, but nothing when it came to his jealousy and all that effort was completely wasted, when all I had to do was befriend Britney. Britney and my friendship…making him jealous. Isn’t that ironic, don’t ya think? A little too ironic…
Though that’s completely ridiculous, but of course I didn’t tell him that instead I just told him that since he insists on still being friends with Britney, I don’t want to have waste anymore time hating her. Besides hating someone takes a lot of energy and I simply don’t have time to waste on that kind of energy. And now that I’ve actually gotten to know her, I’ve found that’s she’s cool people. Even though there are times when she’s a tadbit too giddy/girly for me. I swear sometimes I think she has cheerleader running in her blood, head cheerleader. Or whatever they call the girl who can spell the loudest, while jumping up and down in school inappropriate length skirts.
Speaking of school, I’d just gotten back from class and was in the process of tossing my things to the floor like I normally do, leaving a trail like snail as I go…when suddenly the silence was interrupted.
“Girl, I know your Momma didn’t raise you to be such a slob.”
Breathing deeply, I turned around after recognizing that the voice belonged to my roomie, Nicole. “If you ever scare me like that again…”
Laughing, she said, “You’ll what?”
“I’ll beat yo’ ass!”
We both laughed, before breaking into a song and dance singing the lyrics to the stupid song by Crime Mob.
“What the hell are kids listening to these days? You can’t even call that shit music.”
Shrugging, Nicole said, “Hush up, old woman. The kids just want to dance, they aren’t concerned with lyrical messages.”
“I know that’s right.” I said, nodding my head. “Remember back in the day…”
“Oh, lord…see that’s why I don’t come around that much. You always got some ‘remember back in the day’ story to tell with your old ass. How old are you now anyways? Twenty-two going on sixty-seven?”
“Girl, hush.” I said, waving her off with a smile. “But why are you here though?”
“What, I’m not allowed to come back to my own apartment anymore?”
“Well you never do.”
“I do too.”
“Okay, but it’s rare. So what’s up?” I asked, moving toward the kitchen, hunting for something to munch on. “You and your loverman got into a fight?”
“No, me and Jason are fine.” She grinned, her smile stretching the expanse of her face at the mere thought of him. “Finer than fine actually.”
“Oh really?” I asked, grabbing some chips but bypassing the pop that was tempting me, I pulled out a bottle of water instead.
“Mmmhmm girl you just don’t know. I’ve never felt like this about someone…ever.” She said, her voice reaching a level of happiness I’d never heard from her before. “And it’s scaring the shit out of me.”
“Love is scary shit.”
“The scariest.” She agreed.
“And don’t forget it can be the shittiest too.”
“Shittiest? Now you’re just making up words.” She laughed. “He said he was going to take me to Italy whenever he got the chance.”
I frowned. “I thought you and me were going to Italy together?”
“Well, yeah…I guess we were.” She said, backpedaling slightly before plowing ahead with an excuse. “But wasn’t the whole point in going to find a man?”
“Maybe for you!”
She laughed. “You know you were thinking about getting one of them Italian boys too.”
Smiling, I said, “Whateva, that’s still beside the point. So what other thing are y’all planning to do that we were supposed to do together?”
“New Year’s at Time Square.” Nicole said as quickly as possible and winced after she said it as if she was expecting me to pop her upside her head. Which I almost did, she knows me well.
“You know I always wanted to do that.” I whined, resisting punctuating my sentence with a stomp of my foot.
“I know, I know. It wasn’t my idea.” She replied, shrugging. “You could come.”
“Oh yeah, as a reluctant afterthought.” I said, rolling my eyes. “No thanks. I’ll just sit my ass on that couch again for another lovely New Years.”
“K, you know you don’t have to do that. Your boyfriend is Justin-friggin-Timberlake, he could take you anywhere.”
“Nah, I think he’s got some engagement or something he has to be at on New Years.”
“For real? Or are you just trying to make me feel worse?”
Smirking, I said, “Depends, is it working?”
“No.”
I sighed. “Whateva, it doesn’t matter. Go wit Jason to Italy whenever…and Times Square for New Years. It’s cool, when New Years rolls around I got three parties already lined up anyways.”
“Three?”
“Yeah. MTV’s, BET’s and Dick Clark’s.”
“So in other words you plan on sitting on the couch and watching the ball drop via the magical box again.”
“Yeah, basically.” I shrugged. “What’s another year of sitting on my ass anyways?”
“K…” She sighed.
“Whateva, I got something to do. So I’m gonna…go…do that.” I said, grabbing up all the things that I’d previously dropped on the floor.
“Alright, but when you come back, we gotta talk.”
“About what?” I said, straightening up again and facing her.
“We don’t have to talk about it now.” She said, backing away toward her room.
“No, no. Just say it.” I insisted.
She sighed. “I thought you had stuff to do.”
Rolling my eyes, I replied, “Girl, quit stalling and just spit it out already.”
"How would you feel if I said I was moving out to live with Jason?"
I would feel like one of my lungs had collapsed and I could barely breath. I wanted to say just that, but my need not to be a drama queen like Justin prevented me from it. I wanted to say that I didn’t know how I’d feel…but I’m sure it wouldn’t be good. I wanted to say that I’d feel like I’d be losing one of my last remaining close friends. I wanted to say that on some illogical, but very real level I’d feel deserted. I wanted to say that I wouldn’t feel anything, because it’s not going to happen. Is it?
It’s not. No, of course not.
"Keisha?" Nicole’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts, reminding me that Nicole, luckily, couldn’t read my mind---and was still waiting for my answer.
So summing up all my feelings into two insightful words, I said, "Don’t know."
Nicole looked uncomfortable then, and I felt bad for not being the selfless friend who could just let go when needed. Instead I was selfish. I wanted my friend back! Even though she hadn’t gone anywhere yet, it felt like she’d been away for months (years even) and now when I was just getting a chance to hang with her again---like we used to do all the time---she was just there to tell me that she was leaving again. For good.
