It's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
Jc sat outside in his car across from the one place he hadn’t been to in months. Contemplating weather or not he should go see her. It had been six months since she walked out on him.
*Flashback*
“Josh I’ve never asked u to choose your career over me! How could you do this to me!!?” “What do you want from me Alysa? I gave you the house, the cars, the clothes, the jewelry what else do you want from me? Any girl would kill to be in your position!!” Alysa whirled around to look at Jc.
“You think I give a fuck about that truck or this house? You think I care about these earrings or this necklace?” She took off both and threw them at Jc. “I can buy this shit on my own! I have the money for it Joshua. I just wanted you to love me! I wanted you to be there for me when I need you just like I am for you. Josh you never had to ask me for anything. But I have to beg you to come to my shows!”
Tears started forming in her eyes. “Alysa I already apologized for that how many fucking times do I have to say I’m sorry!” Alysa glared at him. “You don’t have to say it anymore Josh I’m done with this. I can’t do this with you anymore. All we do is fight. I can’t take it Josh.”
Alysa went upstairs to grab some cloths while Jc just stood in the living room still fuming. A few minutes later Alysa appeared again with an over night bag in her hand. “I’ll be by to pick up the rest of my things tomorrow.” Jc looked at her in disbelief. “So what things are getting rough and you wanna bail?” Alysa sighed.
"Joshua I have been trying to working this out but you never have time for me or this relationship. You only have time for music and that’s fine. But I can’t keep playing second best to it. Goodbye Joshua.” She didn’t wait for him to say anything else she just walked out the door.
*End Flashback*
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that are rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
Thinking back to that day Jc sighed. He could have stopped her from walking out that door. He knew the day he met her she was the one for him but he began to get caught up in his own cocky nature. He laughed to himself. Everyone always thought Justin was the cocky bastered but in actuality it was he who was that cocky ass.
*Flashback*
Jc walked up behind the woman who was responsible for putting on this spectacular show. “So when are you gonna make a men’s line of clothing?” Alysa turned around to see who was speaking to her. She smiled at the man standing in front of her now. She laughed a little.
“I don’t do boy bands clothing” Jc laughed at that he knew she was just kidding by the sly grin she had on her face. “Ok well what about designing something for a sexy singer?” Alysa looked around. “I don’t see Justin Timberlake any where.” Jc full out laughed at that. Actually he’s right over there talking with Sean Combs.” Jc pointed to where Justin was standing talking.
“Oh well maybe I should go ask him about that.” “Are you always this playful?” “Only when it’s really fun to do.” Jc looked into her beautiful brown eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Alysa Martin would you maybe go out with me sometimes?” Jc asked. “Wow you don’t beat around the bush do you?” Jc laughed. “Well is that a yes?” Now it was Alysa’s turn to laugh. “Yes Joshua Chasez I would love to go out with you.”
*End Flash back*
And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
He couldn’t believe he had fucked up one of the best things that had ever happened to him. She would do anything for him and he took her for granted. What he would give to have her back in his arms.
*Flashback*
Alysa went to the door wiping the tears away from her eyes so she could look some what presentable. “Who is it?” It’s Justin Binky open up!” Alysa smiled at Justin calling her by her nickname. She opened the door to see those sympathetic blue eyes. It just made her start crying all over again. Justin stepped inside and engulfed her in a hug.
“Aww Binky what happened?” “J it was my biggest show and he promised he would be there no matter what! Then he calls 10 minutes before the show telling me that a lot of the masters were messed up and he had to stay at the studio late. Why was it so hard for him to just wait a few hours to do them? I just don’t understand why he couldn’t wait.” Alysa sobbed into Justin’s chest. He had become her confident more and more lately. Justin tried to calm her and let her know that everything would be alright.
“Shhh it’s okay Binky. Everything will be fine. You know he would have been there if he could the record label is really on his back about this album that’s all. He loves you so much don’t ever forget that.” Alysa cried even harder cuz she wasn’t really sure that he did.
*End Flashback*
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I’ve rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!
Jc looked down at the picture he had been holding while he was thinking about all the things that had happened between them. Justin had told him after that night that he better straighten up his act or Alysa would leave him. But Jc had been so hardheaded thinking that she would never leave him. But as the saying goes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.
*Flashback*
“Dude can you believe how pissed she got over a stupid ass fashion show?! I’ve been to I don’t know how many of her shows and she throws a fit over this shit?” Jc was pacing back and forth in Justin’s living room. Alysa had called and said that she was to upset to see him and could he please not come home tonight. She needed to calm down.
So here was Justin watching Jc rant and rave about something that was very well his fault. “Jace what has she always asked you to never do?” Jc looked at Justin with a blank face. “She asked you to never make a promise you can’t keep. That show was the most important in her career and all she wanted was for the man that she loved to share it with her."
" How many awards shows has she been to with you for support? Charity events, Black tie affairs, album release parties. Jace she’s been there with you through so much and all she wants is for you to be there in return.” Jc sat back quietly listen to what Justin just said. Thinking maybe he was right.
*End Flashback*
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
Jc figured if he was ever gonna find out if she would give him another chance it was now or never. He opened the car door and stepped out into the pouring ran. He slowly stepped up on her porch to ring the door bell. His heart was pounding out of his chest. He was so nervous.
What if some other guy answers the door or she hates him so much that she just slams the door in his face! While all these thoughts were running threw Jc’s mind Alysa's door opened up. He forgot how cute she could look in her pj’s and her hair pined up on her head by a pencil.
“Josh what are you doing here in the pouring rain?” He didn’t even care that he was soaked. “I needed to talk to you.” Alysa stepped to the side and motioned for him to come in. He walked into the warm house and turned to face Alysa. “I’m gonna go get you some dry cloths I’ll be right back.”
Alysa went jogging up the stairs and returned a few minutes later. “I never returned these to you.” She handed Jc some of his old sweats. “There’s a bathroom down the hall to your left.” Jc went to the bathroom to change cloths and returned to the living room where Alysa was doing sketches for a new line she was working on.
“Your always hard at work aren’t you?” Alysa looked up and smiled a little while removing her glasses. “It’s what pays the bills.” She laughed at him. “So what brings you over here this late in the pouring rain Josh? We haven’t seen each other in six months.” “I know but I’ve been thinking about you lately and I needed to tell you some things."
" I was an ass Alysa. I should have done more to save our relationship. I should have paid more attention to what you wanted and needed instead of focusing on me all the time. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. You deserved more than that.” Alysa sat there quietly taking all this in. She had been waiting so long to hear him say that to her. But now things were different. She was a much stronger person and she didn’t want to go through anymore heartache with him.
She didn’t really wanna put her heart on the line like that again. But she still loved him, she wanted him back. She missed being in his arms. Hearing him whisper that he loved her in the middle of the night. She missed all the wonderful times that her and Jc shared. “Josh I’ve been waiting so long for you to say those things to me but Josh I don’t want us to go back in to a bad routine. A relationship takes work from both parties not just one.” I know baby and if you give me another chance I swear things will be so much different.”
Alysa sat there for a moment. She stood up and walked over to Jc. “I love you so much Josh, just please don’t hurt me again!” Jc smiled “I won’t besides Justin would kill me.” Jc and Alysa hugged. He pulled back some and looked Alysa in her brown eyes just like he did the first time they meet. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked with confusion all on her face. “I love you to Alysa. I always will.
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
*Lyrics “It’s been awhile-By Staind*
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