Justin Timberlake and the Edge of Reason
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Justin, Living in London’s Canary Wharf, am super type Stock Market Trader which to me means I earn lots of money, to my friend Chris means I ponce about wearing a stupid jacket for a living.
I set up this journal because my two best friends, Chris and Lance, seem to have an unhealthy interest in my life. This was Chris’ way of getting me to tell them more.
Monday December 1st
Time 08:37 Mood “ Annoyed.
Okay, I’m going to try and post every day this month, well, every day but Christmas probably. I’ve been neglecting this journal oojit lately and Chris, you know, you can stop sending me snarky emails telling me you want to know what’s going on in my life. You know you want my ass back so stop trying to hide it :-) .
So yeah, fuckers, I’m going to be good and responsible and post shit so you all can take the piss at New Years. Okay?
To start, I hate working in London on the run up to Christmas. The city stops becoming mine and is taken over by marauding country-folk with their chins trailing along the floor as they notice that we have more than one Marks and Spencer. Honest, you can’t even get a good cup of coffee without having to stand behind some batty woman with a coat so old it doesn’t even have a season complaining that “all she wants in a Nescafe, what’s with all this mocha and latte rubbish.” Of course then, they order a cappuccino, giggling with their equally unfashionable friend about how daring they’re being and should they have whipped cream AND chocolate sprinkles on top! A guy could die of caffeine shortages waiting for his double espresso with a shot of hazelnut, thank you very much.
It’s ridiculous, I’m a city trader, one of the most respected and well paid people in London and all I get is stupid people laughing at my green and yellow striped blazer. Ha, my bonus is more than they’ll earn in a year. Fuckwits.
Of course, once I get into work I have to cope with the stupid receptionist being all ‘Justin, are you going to the Christmas party’ and ‘Justin, are you taking anyone to the Christmas party.’ I really just want to turn around and tell her that tits aren’t my cup of tea, but no. That’s something I have to keep to myself in this man’s world.
Thursday December 2nd
Time 23:37 Mood “ Tipsy.
Would you believe they’ve taken a new guy on at work? Just before the Christmas holidays? He’s American, but we won’t hold that against him because he proved tonight that he could hold his own in the bar after work. His names Joey and he’s here on exchange from some place in New York, I don’t remember where.
We went down to the Slug and Lettuce, which is good for me because it’s stumbling distance to the DLR from there. Joey seemed impressed; I think he was expecting the England you see in films. Not skyscrapers, steel, glass and dockland turned into shopping malls. I took him to get a Krispy Kreme doughnut too, he seemed pleased about that, maybe I’ll take some in tomorrow morning.
Friday December 3rd
Time 23:57 Mood “ Drunk
Friday “ and I’m a little too drunk to type.
Saturday December 4th
Time 11:04 Mood “ Hung Over
Man, I’m hung over. Friday nights are always a blast though. Went to Ubon, which I love. Does great black cod and the views over London are just amazing. There was me, Peter, Tarquin, JC, that new guy, Joey and Smithy.
Smithy got totally wankered and started kissing everyone. Man, he does that a lot. It’s a shame he’s such a minger or I might have tested the waters with him. Of course, everyone laughed it off because it’s Smithy and that’s what he does. He’s a bad drunk. Joey wasn’t bad though, I thought all Americans were gay or homophobic, he laughed with the rest of us though.
Anyway, that Joey guy was saying he wanted to get somewhere to live because he’s in a hotel at the moment and it’s totally depressing and shit. I debated asking him to come into this place. I’ll text him. Find out.
He’s coming over in an hour.
Time 20:08 Mood “ Excited
So, Joey’s moving in. Was nice. Showed him round my little flat. He liked the open plan kitchen and living room, which is good because it’s pretty difficult to get anything else in London! Walls take up too much space. My spare bedroom is a decent size though and other than some clothes I don’t wear any more I don’t keep anything in there. Joey’s tomorrow afternoon.
We’ve come to a good arrangement where he pays me rent, buys his own food and stuff, yet I keep covering all the bills and shit as he’s just here for a couple of months on secondment. He’s getting a fixed amount of money from his company for accommodation; so living with me he gets to put the extra into his pocket. So he’s paying me more than he should be, but it isn’t his money. Hell, it’s not like I need cash, last Christmas bonus paid off the mortgage on this place.
Oh, forgot to say, I got your Christmas card yesterday, Lance. Thanks mate!
Monday December 6th
Time 13:06 Mood “ Hungry
It’s lunchtime and so much for my resolution to post everyday. Oh well, I’ve only missed one and that’s because I’m too bloody polite to leave my new houseguest to fend for himself while I go play online.
So yeah, Joey’s moved in. All is good. He doesn’t have a lot of stuff so I’ve lent him my old stereo for the time being. First day seems to be okay. Plus, so far this morning I’ve made like £30k. Go me! Just had an email through from JC asking if I’m going to the pub after work. Guess that’ll be a yes. Must start thinking about what to do for my birthday soon too, places book up pretty quickly. Can you comment if you’re free to come down, guys? Probably go out on the 29th, that’s a Saturday.
Well, back to eating.
Tuesday December 7th
Time 08:05 Mood “ Hung Over
Last night was fun, problem is I’m now hung over to hell and trying to make decisions about money and buying and selling and all that shit and I just don’t feel up to it. I’m £3000 down today. Need coffee.
Chris, Lance can come down for the birthday, can you make it too, bud? Be like Uni again, the three of us together out on the lash!
Wednesday December 8th
Time 07:45 Mood Distressed
Had long chat with Joey last night about stock brokering and stuff. Seems he’s thinking about getting out of it too, he said he wanted to leave the USA for a while which is why he took this secondment, but doesn’t think he’ll be doing it much longer.
I think I’m burnt out. I’m nearly 26, I’ve been doing this since I left Uni, so that’s four years and a bit. I’ve made bloody good money and shit, but it’s just so full on. The drinking, the job, the stress.
I might be a teacher.
Thursday December 9th
Time 07:45 Mood “ Chipper
Chris, you are a horrid friend, me teaching isn’t that ludicrous, is it? They need maths teachers, I went on the teacher training agency site. They even give me money for training, which is a joke.
I talked it over with Joey last night. The other guys had gone out to some strip joint or lap dancing club, whatever, and I didn’t have the energy to pretend to be turned on so I blew them out. Don’t know what Joey’s excuse for not going was. We got called a couple of pansies by Smithy though, the fuckwit. What he would do if he knew it was true in my case I don’t know.
Friday December 10th
Time 12:09 Mood “ Annoyed
Fuck, fuck, fuck. You know that bar tender I had a fling with a couple of months back? He totally was working in the bar we all went to last night. What the fuck is a gay bartender doing working in a straight bar? He totally recognised me, asked me how I’d found trekking across Australia to which all the other guys burst out laughing as they all know I can’t stand being away from a shower for more than 24 hours. Man, lies to tell to bad lays to get them to stop calling shouldn’t ever catch up with you.
In the end I told the guys that he was a friend of a friend who’d I’d gone out for a beer with when he first moved to London. Had told him I was going trekking to stop him calling me ever again because he was a total gay. That made everyone laugh, made me feel pretty shit though.
So far today I’ve had three cans of Fosters put on my desk. Stupid fuckers I work with. Joey’s been strangely quiet though.
Sunday December 12th
Time 15:47 Mood “ Worried
Fuck. Joey wants to move out. Don’t know why. I don’t want him to at all. I like having a roommate and he’s pretty hot as well which helps. Fuck.
Tuesday December 14th
Time 17:45 Mood “ Blah
Managed to talk Joey into staying, reminding him about the money he’s saving and stuff. He spent a lot of time on the phone to America though, some bloke called for him about seven times since Sunday.
JC has arranged for us all to go to another bloody lap-dancing club tonight. Guess I better go to this one after Thursday night’s close call. Marvellous, a night putting my money into some girls tits. What joy!
Wednesday December 15th
Time 12:57 Mood “ Hungry
So, Joey didn’t come out last night and when I got home at 10 he was already in bed. Strange. Guess he might have some strange random two-week late jet lag as he asked me this morning to tell work he wouldn’t be in.
I think I’ll take him some beer home. Cheer him up.
Birthday plans, Saturday night at G.A.Y.? I heard that the Scissor Sisters were going to be playing so I grabbed us all tickets already. Hope that’s cool?
Do yous want to crash at my place or shall I get you into a Travel Lodge or something, just Joey’s at mine still so it’ll have to be an air bed or Chris, you’re short, you can have the sofa.
Saturday 18th December
Time 14:20 Mood “ Woah!
Oh my.
Oh my.
Okay, so yeah, totally haven’t posted for ages but..
Oh my.
So, got home on Wednesday after a couple of pints with JC, stopped in at the Waitrose in Canary Wharf and got some bottled ales. Got a black cab home because hello, beer bottle on the DLR, not fun. Get in and Joey is like on the couch with a total beard coming on which I was totally secretly jealous about ‘cos you all know it takes me ages to get past the fuzz phase before the beard comes in and even then it’s weird and curly and on my neck which is gross. Anyway…
So I go in and pop open a couple of ales and hand one to Joey and sit down on the couch. He’s obviously upset about something but you know, I’ve only known the guy for like 2 weeks so what am I meant to do.
Anyway, so I just sit there drinking my beer watching crappy TV which is a good point, why is there nothing decent on telly on a Wednesday? Like, ever?
So, we sit and we drink.
And sit
And drink
And sit, you get the picture. So, we’re sitting and drinking and about 10pm the phone rings. Joey like jumps out of his skin nearly and says to me that he’s not in. So I answer the phone and it’s the same American bloke who’d called over the weekend. I tell him that Joey isn’t in and he starts having a total freak out on me saying I’m lying and shit and can he just speak to Joey and I’m saying, sorry, Joey isn’t in and Joey’s there staring at me totally aghast as this guy totally won’t shut up. So I’m saying for the tenth time that I’ll tell Joey he called but he isn’t here right now and then this guy just screams “He better not be off fucking some other guy, the fuckin’ bastard.”, and hangs up.
And I’m like. Oh My.
Joeys white, as he could hear this guy yelling for sure and then I realise. Joey thinks I’m a homophobic arsehole like the rest of my work mates.
Oh fuck.
Joey like runs out of the living room into his room and shuts the door. I wait in the living room for an hour, see if he comes out to go to the bathroom or anything but he doesn’t and I’m shattered so I go to bed.
Next day Joey gets up and goes to work before I’m up and leaves early. I don’t see him all night, in fact I’m not even sure he was in the flat.
Friday night he gets collared by JC and Smithy to go drinking as Tarquin has some stupid pre-wedding thing he has to go to with his fiancée. I go along as well to kind of say ‘there’s no problem’ without their actually having to be a big out spilling of feeling and shit. I did manage to talk JC out of the strip club though, which I was happy about.
So, we get totally bladdered and about 2am me and Joey catch a cab home. He mentions if I want him to move out and I’m like ‘No way, man. Why would I want that?’ and he’s all ‘the phone call, you know.’ So I’m telling him it isn’t a problem and everything and then he goes all quiet and shit.
We get home and he disappears to bed right away. So now it’s morning. I’ve got a killer headache, a flatmate who still seems to think I’m a homophobe which is actually pretty funny when you actually know I’m a ‘too chicken shit to come out as gay’ gay man.
Chris, are you going to your parents for Christmas? Could really do with meeting up at the pub, getting wasted and talking about life the universe and everything.
Tuesday 21st December
Time 12:04 Mood “ Rich
Staff Christmas do on Thursday. Don’t want to go but being made to by the guys. Got bonus today, £750000. Stupid fucking money for a stupid job. I just don’t see the worth of it anymore. I really don’t. Yeah, the money is great but what am I doing? I’m making rich people richer.
Friday 24th December
Time 10:45 Mood “ Hung Over
Man, I’m hung over. Totally hung over. Found out last night that Joey isn’t going home for Christmas so drunkenly phoned the parents and he’s coming back to mine now. Chris, behave! Joey’s still being quiet, I guess he’s still fucked in the head about that bloke in New York. He sort of mentioned in the cab coming back from the party that it was his ex and they’d been together five years but this guy had started to get really possessive and stuff which is why he took this secondment to get away from him. He’d managed to get his new number from another friend’s mobile phone. What a freak!
I wish I could just tell Joey about me, but I don’t know how and I don’t know if he’d go telling everyone else at work. I can’t take the risk.
It’s times like these that my parent’s not knowing comes in handy. I get to go home and be the ‘Only Son, heir to all my fortune.’ Oh fun.
Chris, I’ll see you Boxing Day. Remember, the parents have no internet so no updates till I’m back in London.
Friday December 31st
Time 16:30 Mood “ Contemplative
My New Year Resolutions.
1. Leave this stupid job and do something more fulfilling.
2. Tell my parents I’m gay.
3. Tell my friends down here I’m gay
4. Get laid by someone other than Chris who much as I love, we’re not good together hon!
5. Write in this thing more often.
Saturday January 1st, 2005
Time 10:30 Mood “ Excited
2005.
Wow.
Well, I fulfilled two of my resolutions already. 2 and 4. Go me.
Firstly, I come into the living room before we go out to see Joey on the computer looking at my Live Journal. I hadn’t bloody closed down had I? So that took telling Joey off my ‘things to do’ list. He called me a stupid asshole but understood the whole ‘man’s world’ thing. Seems he isn’t exactly ‘out’ either, well, he wasn’t exactly out.
So we go out, meet JC, Tarquin, Smithy and everyone else. I just felt really free, as if Joey knowing meant that it was out there, it was okay. So I’m sitting next to him all night and our legs are touching and every now and again I catch his hand or his arm as we’re reaching for drinks or to flick ash into the ashtray.
It’s like we’re totally flirting in front of everyone and no one sees it.
This goes on and we’re getting totally blasted, Tarquin is totally away with it, posh git cant’ hold his drink at all and then the music stops and we’re all standing up as it’s coming up to midnight.
So we count down, and everyone has a drink in their hand and midnight bells ring and everyone is raising glasses and Smithy is bloody kissing people left right and centre and he tries to kiss Joey and Joey says he’d rather kiss someone else and turns to me and kisses me RIGHT IN THE BLOODY CLUB IN FRONT OF EVERYONE and no one bats an eyelid.
Everyone is totally cool. Smithy laughs and goes off and kisses JC instead. Tarquin falls backwards into the booth and practically passes out and me and Joey just smile at each other and kiss again.
Just like that.
Of course, then we went home and had totally hot sex which I’m not writing about here because I know Chris’ll just get off on it and that’s just gross but yay me!
JC called this morning at about 10. Tells me that I’m a stupid idiot, they’ve all been reading my journal for months anyway as he saw me updating at lunchtime and wanted to know what it was I was doing and good luck with Joey.
I’m a stupid idiot.
I’ve got a hot bloke naked in the next room, why the hell am I online?
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