Holes by Mattison30


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Prologue



I fell in love with him when I was seventeen. He was twenty three. I don’t mean just puppy love either. This was the real thing. You know the head-over-heels, constantly filled with butterflies, can’t get them out of your mind kind of love.


There's three in the hall
From those pictures in the closet
Two in the bedroom
From that night that I lost it
And one deep inside me
Determined to stay
They don't get any bigger
But they don't go away



And you know when mom’s find out that their little girl is dating an older man they lecture them about how wrong it is. Then the girl says, ‘age is just a number mom and I love him.’


Holes in and around me
I keep falling back into
Holes dig in and surround me
God knows that I'm gonna do
To fill in these holes... left by you



This was me. I was young and naive. A guy who is twenty-three has something completely different on his mind than a seventeen year old girl.


I poured drink after drink
But nothing hit bottom
I've been on my knees
Admitted my problems
The love that we made
Is still barely an echo
I'll try anything
In these vacant hollow



I just got caught up in the thrill of sneaking behind my parent’s back and keeping this huge secret from everyone. I guess it would be like that same thrill people who are having affairs get. I don’t want you to think I’m cheap or anything though; I did really care about him. I still care about him. I still think about him.


Holes in and around me
I keep falling back into
Holes dig in and surround me
God knows that I'm gonna' do
To fill in these holes... left by you



Towards the end of our relationship things were bad, but you probably could have guessed that. In the beginning though, it was wonderful. He was so sweet and charming and we just had so much fun together. Looking back I wonder how it all went so wrong.


There's two through my hands and one through my feet
From this cross that I'll bear till the day that I see
It's guilt and it's blame it's shame and it's hell
Seeking the truth... I've dug them myself



How do you go from loving someone with all that is in you to…to hating them?


All these holes dig in and surround me
God knows what I'm gonna' do
To fill up these holes... left by you


TBC.....

Song Credit- Rascal Flatts, Holes



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