Chapter 22: From Worse to Worse...er?
“Could you be anymore of an f**king insensitive bastard?” Trace yells only magnifying the intense throbbing of my skull. I press index fingers to my temples, rubbing in circles. I was told once that this was supposed to help alleviate pain”I think they were lying ‘cause this is not helping. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
My jaw clenches at his bold questing. “What’s wrong with me?” I echo back unable to keep my temper under wraps. “What is wrong with you? You were the one f**king a seventeen year old last night!”
“You were the one f**king a girl you supposedly can’t stand while you obviously have feelings for Elli that you’re just too much of an f**king coward to admit!”
I’m almost knocked speechless at his….his…his false accusation. That’s right, I said false. I admitted to you quite early on in mine and Elli’s relationship that I was slightly attracted to her. However, that does not mean that I have “feelings” for her. Feelings imply a serious commitment neither of us is ready for nor do we want.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about Trace. So don’t attempt to tell me how I do or do not feel!” I shake my head to try to get my mind back on topic. “We’re getting off topic here. We were talking about you and screwing Elli last night.”
He scoffs and tosses his hands in the air. He abruptly stands, knocking over his chair in his haste. I mock his actions and stand to face him defensively, ready for the next blow. “Jesus Justin! Nothing happened last night.”
Nothing happened my ass.
“And why would it matter if something did?” He adds arrogantly, raising both his eyebrows and lifting his chin in defiance. “I couldn’t possibly that you were jealous. No, because to you Elli’s just a ‘nice girl.’ Isn’t that right?”
“She’s f**king seventeen years old!” I scream so loudly it feels as though my vocal cords are about to snap.
“So you keep saying!” He yells back just as loudly. We both pause trying to clam our tempers. Our breathing is ragged and we’re both clenching our fists at our sides”most likely to prevent any physical violence. I’m about two seconds away from beating his ass. “Elli came here last night looking for you.” He starts with a lowered tone; still just as vicious though. “But you were too drunk and stoned off your ass to notice. Not to mention how you were practically dry f**king Allison in the living room.”
“Shit!” Is the first word that comes to mind at his confession. I close my eyes when the throbbing in my head suddenly returns. Even worse than that is the guilt that hits me with full force, nearly knocking me off my feet. I am the biggest ass….Elli probably hates me. I’ll be lucky if she ever talks to me again”God”I made her cry. I can’t believe I made Elli cry. I’m supposed to wipe away her tears not cause them.
“Do you really think Elli is the kind of girl who would just drop by for a casual lay?” Trace’s voice interrupts my guilt-induced self loathing. “I don’t know maybe she acts differently when I’m not around.” He finishes sarcastically.
“I already feel like shit you don’t have to rub it in Trace.”
“If I were you, Justin, I would ditch the Barbie,” he begins motioning over his shoulder. I turn my head just enough to make out Allison’s half naked form standing at the entrance to the room. “And go beg Elli for forgiveness.”
~*~*~*~*~
I hate Justin Timberlake.
Okay so maybe I don’t hate him. My mom always taught me not to hate anyone, so I guess I just very strongly dislike him. He was really….mean to me and judgmental and insensitive and just plain……mean.
I pick up my pace slightly when I notice a bright blue BMW slow to my left. Oh my goodness; I’m going to get kidnapped or become the victim of a drive-by shooting! Oh I’m going to die and it’s all Justin’s fault. I wouldn’t be out here walking along the side of the road if he hadn’t been such a jerk.
“Elli,” I turn my head just enough to positively match the voice to the face. First the big jerk insults me and falsely accuses me, and then he nearly gives me a heart attack. “What are you doing?”
I’m walking home. What does it look I’m doing Einstein? I pick up my pace to a brisk walk but he unfortunately stays in close range.
“I know you’re mad but will you please just get in the car?” He pleads annoyingly.
I huff loudly and pick of my pace even more to a speed walk. Dang it’s hot out here. I’m sweating like you wouldn’t believe. Of course it is like ninety degrees and I’m still wearing my gray sweats from last night”that probably explains the growing heat.
“I’m sorry okay. If you’ll just get in the car I’ll explain.”
Oh like there’s really anything to explain. He’s a big mean jerk. What is there to explain? Nothing! My eyes reflexively narrow to thin slits and I again pick up my speed to a jog. I think I may just die from heat stroke before I make it home. I would rather pass out than get in that car with him.
“Damn it Elli!” He growls, speeding up to meet my stride. “Will you stop being so damn stubborn and just get in the freakin’ car?”
Let me just double check something with you here? Is Justin trying to get me in the car or to get me even more upset with him than I was before? He sure is a sweet talker isn’t he? If he keeps this up I’ll be full out running soon and then I might just pass our for real. I really should have tried harder in gym class. I might not be so tired if I had; I’ve never been too athletic and now I’m really starting to regret that.
He probably didn’t even come out here on his own. I bet Trace put him up to it or at least made him feel guilty. He probably told Justin the truth. Can you believe he thought I would actually do something like that? Do I seem like the kind of girl who would just randomly jump into bed with someone? I guess he doesn’t know me as well as I thought he did. That was probably just part of my stupid teenage fantasy”that he secretly returned my feelings and actually cared if he hurt me or not.
So now I’ve slowed down to a brisk walk again, although my body is slouched dramatically and my legs feel like Jell-O now. I stop suddenly, throwing Justin off guard so that he speeds past me and is forced to slam on his breaks and back up to where I’m now standing.
“Are you going to get in so I can apologize properly?” He asks and I can tell he’s smiling goofily. I’m not about to laugh or smile or turn into putty at his silly behavior. It’s going to take a heck of a lot more than an ‘I’m sorry’ and one of his famous half smirks for me to forgive him.
As I approach his vehicle I just want you to remember that I’m not giving in. I’m just really hot and can barely move from all that running….err…I mean jogging. I keep my eyes downcast as I pull the door handle up and towards me before slipping into the passenger’s seat. I slam the door as hard as I can manage in my weakened state. I can feel his eyes on me and it’s making me very uncomfortable. I cross my arms over my chest haughtily and shift my body as far as the seatbelt wrapped around my waist will allow.
“Look Elli,” He begins. He hesitates as if mentally groping for his next words. “I”Trace told me”I mean”uh”I know nothing happened between you and him. I’m really sorry I jumped to conclusions and that I said what I said.”
Me too.
He takes a deep breath before continuing. “I was”I had a really rough night and I was hung over and”I just”I know that’s not really an excuse but….I’m just really sorry.” Out of the corner of my eye I see me run his hands over his buzzed head”a nervous habit I’ve noticed. I quickly avert my gaze when he turns his body towards mine. “I don’t know what else to say Elli. What do I have to do to get you to forgive me?”
Despite my current mood I can’t help the not so…clean….thought that run through my mind. I quickly shake them away. “You can take me home.”
“What?” He asks; he voice laced with shock. I bet he was expecting me to just give into him. He probably thought I was just going to say okay I feel better now and give him a great big hug. Yeah right, I don’t think so!
“Take me home please.” I reply slowly and clearly, still not looking at him.
He laughs bitterly, “Come on Elli, I’m trying here. Will you just””
“Either you take me home or I will get back out of this car and walk.” I answer coldly.
The remainder of the car ride is spent in silence. Every now and then I notice him look in my direction. I know he feels badly for what he said and quite frankly, at least right now, I don’t care. I want him to feel like crap. I want him to feels as terrible as I did when he said that to me. He pulls up to the front of my house, not able to pull into the driveway due to the cop car parked in the way. That would be Steve’s cop car. This morning just keeps on getting better.
“What’s with the cop car?” He asks drawing my attention back to him.
You would know if you had been sober and there for me last night. Too bad he was too busy sucking Allison’s face off to notice my distress. So I ignore his question. After a few moments of searching I find the door lock and am able to exit the car. He calls for me but I continue to ignore him until I’m inside and out of his sight. He wouldn’t dare follow me in for fear of getting caught by my mother.
“Elli, is that you?” I close my tired eyes and lean against the door as my mother’s voice filters through the house to my ears. I can’t deal with this right now. “We’re in the kitchen sweetie. Come tell us how your night was.”
My night sucked and my morning sucked even more; what else is there to tell? Begrudgingly I drag myself to the kitchen entryway. Mom and Steve are sitting casually at the breakfast table eating off each other’s plates”yuck. How long has he been here? Since last night most likely.
“Did you have a good time last night?” Steve asks cheerily. My frown deepens considerably and I contemplate whether or not to answer him.
“It was fine thank you.” I answer civilly. “I’m really kind of uncomfortable,” I announce motioning to my attire although that isn’t what’s really making me uncomfortable. “I’m gonna go shower.”
“Oh, honey,” My mom calls before I’m even able to turn my back to them. “Make sure you leave your schedule open for tomorrow afternoon. The three of us are going to go to the beach.”
I’m unable to hold back my tears now; tears of hurt and anger. I openly glare at my mother with a quivering lip and fire in my eyes. I can’t manage to form words due to my heavy breathing and clouded thoughts. This is all just too much for to handle right now. Turning sharply on my heel I run upstairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me.
This day just went from worse to…..worse”er
TBC.....
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