Where this was Kristina's best birthday ever, this was Justin's
worst. The only good thing was that this didn't leak to the media
since she was still fairly unknown. This had to be the worst 2 days
of Justin's life. There he was trying to have a good time and then he
had to act like an ass. Now this, now his fiancée laid in a coma. He
was pretty sure that if he cried anymore, his eyes would fall out.
"J man you need to get some rest." Justin looked up at Chris who was
standing at the door.
"I'm not leaving her."
"Look I'll stay with her, go home get some rest. Take a shower,
something."
"And I just told you I'm not going anywhere."
"Justin this is not to time to be jealous."
"AND I JUST @#%$ TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" Chris said no
more, just left out the room. "I need something to drink" he said to
himself. Justin left out of the room to get some water when he heard
this noise. A doctor and a few nurses ran to Kristina's room. What
the hell was going on in there? Justin made his way back to the room
but a nurse held him back.
"Sir you can't go in there right now."
"Why not? What's going on in there?"
"You're just going to have to wait." Hadn't he been waiting long
enough?! Justin sat down in the chairs not far from her room and said
a silent pray to himself. 20 minutes had gone by and finally the
doctor came out. Justin stood up to talk to the doctor who's face he
just couldn't read.
"She's up and--" That's all he had to hear. Justin rushed past the
doctor and into Kristina's room who was now sitting up. She had a
blank stare of her face, maybe it was because she had just woke up
but he paid no mind. He just rushed to her and planted a big kiss on
her. He was so happy to see her up. The past two days had been hell
for both of them. But something was wrong, she wasn't kissing him
like she normally did. He was so happy that she was up he hadn't paid
any attention to the fact she was pushing him away. Kristina's face
had a mix of anger and confusion.
"What are you doing?!" she cried. Ok now it was his time to be
confused.
"Huh?"
"Who are you?!"
****************
Those three little words played over and over and over again in
Justin's head. How did she not know him?! How was that possible? NO,
no, she had to remember him, she was his fiancée, his future wife.
And just the look on her face when she looked at him tore his body
apart. It was like this repulsed look that he just couldn't get out
of his mind. The doctors told him that she could possibly have
temporary amnesia from all the stress of the argument, the alcohol
she consumed and the impact of the hit against her head. They weren't
sure how long it would last or if it'd ever change again. Justin was
barred from the hospital at least for 2 days until they could some
tests without him interfering. The thought being away from the
hospital would be hard, but the worst was being back in that house
seeing all the memories of the two of them. It hurt the worst seeing
the black and white picture they took in Paris. She looked so happy
and full of life. Now she sat, perplexed and unknown to the world
that surrounded her. As soon as visiting hours began he sped off to
the hospital. When he walked into her room she wasn't in there, where
was she? The click of the door behind him gave him the answer.
"Hey" he said in the softest voice possible.
"Hey." When she looked at him it was like looking at a stranger and
he totally felt it too. She said no more, just moved over to her bed.
"Here let me help you up."
"I've got it" she said snatching her arm away. "So what are you doing
here?"
"I'm here to see you."
"Oh." That's all she had to say was oh?
"How are you feeling?"
"Ok, at least the headaches are gone."
"You were having headaches?"
"Yeah some kind of left over feeling from the accident I guess."
Neither really knew what to say to one another. She didn't even know
who he was, hell she didn't even know who she was. Her memory was so
fuzzy she had no clue about anything. There were three things she
remembered, being cold, something about orange juice and pizza. The
past 2 nights for her had been weird as well. She had to talk to
someone she was told was her best friend and her sister. They were
upset. She could tell they loved her but she was just clueless to who
they were. To make matters worse she had been told she was about to
get married to some singer she had never heard of or didn't remember
anyways. She hated the way he looked at her, as if he was looking at
this girl that she was before all of this. "Can you stop looking at
me like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like I'm her."
"Her?"
"The person that I was before all of this. I'm not her and I probably
never will be."
"Don't say that babe, please." Why did that name sound familiar?
"I don't know who Kristina is, they keep telling me over and over
again that that's my name and that I have a sister and that we're
getting married and I can't even remember what I ate last week."
"You'll get better, you'll see."
"How do you know that?!"
"I just do!" Arguing wasn't the answer right now. It was just making
her more confused. "Look Dr. Thornhart said that you're being
released tomorrow. Maybe being home will help." Or at least he had
hope that it would but it didn't. With the doctors orders he left her
be hoping that the memories would come back on her own. If he pressed
her too hard about remembering anything it wouldn't work in fact it
would make it worse. So Justin sat back and let everything happen
which was harder than he could ever imagine. It was watching
Kristina's outer shell but not Kristina. Kristina was usually very
bubbily, talking up a storm and keeping herself busy at all cost, but
this Kristina was quiet and more to herself. Every time he'd try to
talk to her she'd find some way to leave or not talk at all. She kept
more to herself in the den reading over books at school. Though she
had no memory of going to school she still applied herself to her
last two classes.
"Is she like that all the time?" J.C. stopped by to give news on the
meeting they held at the Jive offices. They gave Justin a little
leeway since Kristina was in the position she was in. J.C. too picked
up on her shyness away from everyone. There she was in the den curled
up in the corner of the leather couch with a blanket just staring off
to space. She wasn't sleep or anything, just laying there.
"All the time, I asked the doctors if that was fine and they said
that she's not going to be the same in this period. Its getting tough
man, real tough."
"I know."
"I should've never said what I said to her at the club."
"Well we can't change the past man."
"I know, I just had to run my big @#%$ mouth. Now look at her! She
can't even look at me. Do you understand that she won't even sit at
the table with me for more than 5 seconds let alone sleep in the same
bed with me." Poor guy, Justin was tearing up inside. He knew if that
happened to him and Dez it'd kill him too. J.C.'s visit was actually
a breath of fresh air. For once someone was talking to him instead of
avoiding it. The longer this went on the harder it was going to be
seeing as though their wedding was coming soon. "Kristina, dinner is
done." Ugh she hated that time of the day. Justin always insisted on
sitting at the table to eat together. He'd ask her these obnoxious
questions like how was her day, how was she feeling, blah blah blah.
As always she'd be quiet and let him take all control of the
conversation, what would she say? How are you? Besides the big fat
ring on the on her finger she had no clue that they were even in a
relationship.
"So um….tomorrow is Valentine's day."
"What's Valentine's day?"
"it's a day that celebrates love."
"Oh." Justin hated it when she only answered anything with oh.
"I know that there are still bridges we have to cross but I don't
know maybe you'd like to go out tomorrow night or something?"
"Um, nah not really." Kristina took her plate and walked over to the
sink to wash it. No? No? Tomorrow was the day to celebrate love and
here was his love turning him down? Would this relationship survive
this if he was the only putting effort in? He watched her leave out
of the kitchen, barely touching the food on her plate. This was the
same thing day in and day out. Justin was just frustrated. That next
day was going to be a nightmare. Justin thought he was doing
something by getting a big bouquet of roses and a box of white
chocolate, her favorite.
Dear, I thought I'd drop a line.
The weather's cool. The folks are fine.
I'm in bed each night at nine.
P.S. I love you.
Yesterday we had some rain,
but all in all I can't complain.
Was it dusty on the train?
P.S. I love you.
Write to the Browns just as soon as you're able.
They came around to call.
I burned a hole in the dining room table.
And let me think, I guess that's all.
Nothin' else for me to say,
and so I'll close. Oh, by the way,
everybody's thinkin' of you.
P.S. I love you.
Kristina woke up to Justin singing to her. Usually this would touch
her heart, a Billie Holiday song or something old but she sat there
unmoved by the heart felt antic. She just sat there with that same
blank look on her face so he just stopped singing and put his head
down.
"I can't do this, I don't think I can anymore."
"Do what?" Justin's eyes streamed tears.
"I love you, I love you so much that being without you it hurts to
breathe. I love so much, you are my soul mate I know it. I can't live
without your love and that's why right now I'm dying!!!!!" Talk about
mixed emotions. She wanted to tell him that she loved him so he'd
stop hurting but that wouldn't be fair to him. Justin jumped up from
the bed and ran out of the room. By the time she got up to go to the
door she heard the front door slam. He had to leave just to be
stable. Being around her had him completely unraveled. That's when
she decided that she had to get out of there for his sake.
****************
Kristina moved as fast as she could to get as many clothes in the
luggage she found in the closet in Justin's room. Apparently that had
been their old room. She looked over to the picture that sat on the
side of their bed. They looked so happy together. She didn't really
recognize the place where it was taken but there was snow on the
ground.
Cold.
She paid no mind, just reached in the far back of the closet. This
red shirt that she grabbed, something about was interesting. She ran
her finger across the emblem on the right corner. "Pizza Papalis?"
What was all in that closet? Yes she was supposed to get out of there
fast but it wouldn't hurt to check what was up there. "I hate being
short!" she whined. Wait where'd that come from? She never complained
about her height or at least didn't think she did. Shrugging that
little comment off she grabbed a chair and looked around the top
shelf. Her eyes came across a martini glass. She wasn't a drinker but
it was designed with some little cartoon on it.
"Make it last forever: Detroit Urban Lutheran H.S. senior prom 2002."
Prom? Prom Queen, Pink dress…..The Athenaeum…orange juice. The
waiting for the orange juice, Justin running right in her, the club
shooting, coming to LA, the marriage proposal, Paris, Justin's party,
the bright lights of the car that beamed on her when she bolted out
in the street, the cracking noise when her head hit the pavement
everything came rushing back to her. Two different Kristina's fought
against one another. The past Kristina who knew everything and this
current Kristina that enjoy that darkness of her own little world.
Kristina began to pace the room back. Everything was flooding her
mind that she just didn't know what to do. Not paying attention to
where she was walking she tripped over a pair shoes and fell right
into the closet door hitting her head so hard she fell backwards to
the ground letting darkness wash over her
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