Justin sat quietly throughout the whole night. So many things were running through his mind. The way Kristina looked at him with total disgust, the way his daughter looked, man she looked just like him. He had to have hurt her Kristina so. Look at all she went through to get away from him as far as possible? To a part of Canada she knew they weren’t famous? To a part of Canada where they spoke barely any English? Even changing her hair and name. He recalled the man that held him back calling her Nell and his daughter Tash or the other way around he wasn’t sure. Letting the vodka burn the back of his throat his whole body ached with hurt over Kristina and Justina. Maybe this was all in the best, maybe they didn’t need him. Maybe they were better off without him. No they were, they were better off without him. What kind of father could he be to that beautiful child? What kind of husband could he be to that beautiful woman? Justin stood up from the chair he was sitting in and began to pace the room. IT might have not happened before but it was going to happen tonight. Justin straightened out the white sheet on his bed and tied it around the opening of the closet. Getting it just right, Justin slid his head through the noose opening. Tears were pouring down his eyes. This was it, this was the end of the line.
"Goodbye Kristina, goodbye sweetness….." Justin moved the chair from underneath him and let go.
"Damn it I forgot my keys." J.C. felt his pockets one more time. Practically everything around in walking distance was closing up shop so he couldn’t really get anything to eat in the area. That would require going to go buy something from the only fast food place he passed earlier that day. He was giving Justin a little time to himself but only just a little time. He couldn’t stay away too long. So before he could go any further, J.C. walked back up to their room at the hotel to get the keys. "Yo J, open up I left my keys." Silence. Had he fallen off to sleep? "J?" Still nothing. "Justin?" Ok something wasn’t right. J.C. reached deep within and turned into tai chi master busting the door down.
"Shit!"
*******************
Kristina woke up that morning to her music alarm clock. Most of the time it just randomly played her cds to wake her up but this morning felt like some kind of fluke. Paulina Rubio’s Don’t say goodbye came on. Slowly she sat up in her bed and listened to the song she hadn’t heard in months. It was almost as if it was calling out to her.
The circle of the moon
The rising of the sun
We'll be together soon
Our story's just begun
Time will bring us near
I'll never be too far
Oh, baby, don't you fear
I'll always be where you are
You can dry my tears
But you can't stop the pain inside
I'm trying to hide
As I hold you near
I know I have to pull away
You know that I can't stay
All of my life
No one has touched me the way that you do
Wherever I go
I know that the road will lead back to you
So don't say goodbye
Don't turn away
It doesn't have to end today
Don't say goodbye
'Cause I will love you 'til the end of time
Don't say goodbye
Kristina just shook her head and turned it down some. Justina wouldn’t be up for awhile so she got ready for the day. Pulling out her clothes and scrunchie for the shower. Everything felt like some kind of nightmare. Justin found them! Ok well yeah you know that but it was still a shock to Kristina. Why was he there? How’d he find them? Even after everything she did to prevent that from happening it still did. Ugh! Thank goodness he didn’t see where she went but even with that he could still find her.
Can you feel my love inside
The way that my body's sighing
With your every breath
I try to memorize
Every move you're making
So I'll never forget
The way that you feel
Whenever your heart is beating with mine
Wherever I go
I'll keep my memories of you inside
So don't say goodbye
Don't turn away
It doesn't have to end today
Don't say goodbye
'Cause I will love you 'til the end of time
Maybe it was time for them to pack up and go somewhere else. She did recall her father saying once that she had family in Cuba. She didn’t speak much Spanish but she mastered enough to get by. Oh who was she kidding she didn’t want to go anywhere. She was so conflicted. One half of her wanted to run right into Justin’s arms, hold him and never let go. The other half wanted her to never see him again. Countless times she told him that cheating on her would be the one to seal the deal. He even promised her, he promised her that day at the Ren Cen that he’d never ever cheat on her. Though it was some time ago it was still a promise regardless. Didn’t he know how much it tore her up in the inside? It still hurt to this day when she thought about it. But no matter how much she hurt from what he did she still cared for him, in fact loved him.
Don't say goodbye
We'll never be apart
We'll see the same stars
Just close your eyes
And I'll be where you are
Don't say goodbye
'Cause if you say that word
My heart won't survive
The circle of the moon
The rising of the sun
We'll be together soon
Our story's just begun
Time will bring us near
I'll never be too far
Oh, baby, don't you fear
I'll always be where you are
"…..In today’s top headlines, a member from an American boy band was rushed to St. Croix hospital last night after being attacked by a would be assailant…" Kristina tuned into the news and listened to the story. Though they didn’t mention his name she knew exactly who they were talking about. Her blood ran cold. Something tried to attack him? Why? How? Was he alright? The hospitals there wouldn’t give information on the phone so she’d have to go to the hospital. She wouldn’t have to see him or anything like that, she would just see how he was doing and leave, right?
Don't say goodbye
We'll never be apart
We'll see the same stars
Just close your eyes
And I'll be where you are
Don't say goodbye
'Cause if you say that word
My heart won't survive
***********************
"Salut, pouvoir vous dit me qui est par-dessus voir Monsieur Timberlake?" {Hi, can you tell me who is over seeing Mr. Timberlake?}
"Cela serait le médecin Carver." {That would be Doctor Carver.} The nurse behind the station pointed to the man standing not far from her.
"Merci." Kristina walked over to the doctor to talk to him. "Médecin Carver?"
"Oui?"
"J'ai été dit que vous’re le médecin surveillant Monsieur Timberlake. {I was told that you’re the doctor overseeing Mr. Timberlake?}
"Oui je suis et vous êtes?" {Yes I am and you are?}
"Sa femme, j'ai voulu savoir sa condition {His wife, I wanted to know his condition.} The doctor pulled Kristina to a more secluded part of the hall to talk to her. Little did she know they were standing not too far from J.C. as they talked.
"Il a coupe les dommages de cou, le traumatisme à sa trachée. Il aura besoin de quelque travail avec rapporter sa gorge à 100%" {He has sever neck damage, trauma to his trachea. He will need some work with bringing his throat back to 100%.}
"A-t-il blessé n'importe quel de ses cordes de voix?" {Did he hurt any of his voice cords?} Yeah great question huh?
"Non pas du tout {No not at all}" the doctor laughed, "Mais ce sera difficile pour lui manger des nourritures solides. Il pourrait être sur un régime principalement liquide pour un mois qui doit aider le talon sa gorge {but it will be difficult for him to eat solid foods. He might be on a mainly liquid diet for a month which should help heel his throat.} J.C. had no clue what they were saying since it was all in French but he heard her say something about Justin so it had to be about him. If he could only make her see that Justin was willing to try anything and everything for her love. If she could just give him another chance. Sure what he did was horrible and no one was trying to downgrade that but he loved her so much he was willing to kill himself not once but twice. It had to be fate that brought them back together because they never came to this part of Canada. But somehow fate brought them there together after all these months.
"Bien merci beaucoup." {Alright thank you very much.}
"Vous êtes bienvenu." {You’re welcome} The doctor walked away leaving Kristina alone.
"You can go see him you know" Kristina literally jumped out of her skin. Quickly she turned around to face J.C.
"Shit J.C. scared the hell out of me."
"I apologize." Justin was right, there was Kristina standing right in front of him. Blond hair and all. "You look fantastic."
"Thanks, but you don’t have to lie."
"I’m not." There was a silence between the two. "You gotta see him Kris."
"I don’t think I can, no matter how much I love him I close my eyes and see him and those two women together with no clothes on. He knew how much I did not like the whole cheating thing and he went and did it anyways."
"He was under the influence."
"And that makes things ok?"
"No in fact it makes it worst, but please don’t hold it over his head."
"J.C.--you just don’t understand."
"I don’t but what happened to your vows? Better or worse? He is at his worse and I am not trying to condone anything he’s done. I’m not trying to condone his drugs or his infidelity, but Kristina he is in bad bad shape. He is so lost without you that its sickening to watch." Kristina looked away. J.C. pulled her away close to the couches and sat her down. "Kristina, Justin wasn’t attacked."
"What?"
"Our publicist got to the media first, Justin tried to kill himself." Kristina stopped in her tracks. What did he say?
"What?"
"Justin tried to hang himself, him being a jackass got it wrong." Kristina held her hand to her mouth. "He probably would’ve chocked to death if I hadn’t figured out that I left my keys in the room."
"Oh my gosh" she whispered to herself. Guilt felt as if it was being washed over her. Justin said countless times that he’d hurt himself if she ever left him. She just chalked it up to him being overdramatic.
"But that wasn’t the first time."
"What?!"
"About a month after you left everything just felt like it crashed down on him. He took some of your muscle relaxers that you left back home and washed it down with some jack daniels. Lance found him and we had to get a private doctor to pump his stomach." Kristina began to cry listening to the hard time Justin went through. Yeah she hurt being without him but not to the point that she’d kill herself, or attempt to twice. J.C. took Kristina in his arms and held her as she cried. "Its ok, he’s fine but he won’t be ok unless you talk to him. Can you at least do that." Kristina moved away from J.C.’s shoulder.
"Yeah I can."
"Thank you." J.C. showed her to Justin’s room. She was so nervous walking into the room. What would she say after hearing all of that? She had to talk to him, something at least. Kristina stood at the door and peered in at a sleeping Justin. He looked so peaceful as if nothing had even happened. As quiet as a mouse she walked over to the separate curtain.
"Bonjour monsieur." {Hello sir}
"Bonjour mademoiselle." {Hello ma’am}
"Comment êtes-vous?" {How are you?}
"Je suis bon et vous?" {I am good and yourself?"}
"Bon aussi, Si vous n'avez pas des objections, je vais fermer ce rideau." {I am good as well, if you don’t mind I am going to close this curtain.}
"Pas du tout." {Not at all}
"Merci." Kristina pulled the curtain across so they’d have somewhat of some privacy. Kristina pulled the chair up to Justin’s bed and sat beside him. Whenever he fell off to sleep, it was always deep and probably with the meds it was worse. She was sure that by the time he woke up she’d be gone so why not stay for a little bit, just to see if he was ok? Kristina gently linked her hand with his so she wouldn’t wake him. Though they were almost the same skin tone it always amazed her how similar yet different they were but no matter how much different they were a perfect match. She always loved his hands. Justin was a neat freak when it came to body care. Sometimes a little worse than her, buying exofoliants and what not. He always had the smoothest skin, well for a guy. Kristina laughed a little to that thought. Those were happier times that they spent together, now they were apart. They would’ve been even further apart if J.C. hadn’t came in and found him. Looking at the red marks on his neck made her hurt ache. Kristina held on tighter to Justin’s hand. She hadn’t cried in so long. It was if all the bottled emotions she tried to hold in where all just pouring out at that very moment.
"Don’t cry." Kristina slowly rose her head up to Justin’s. He had awoken while she was sitting there. His blue eyes matched the sadness in her brown. "Hey, hey, come here" he whispered pulling her closer to him. Next thing she knew she was laying in the small hospital bed in Justin’s arms. His gown, now soaked with tears tried but failed at holding in his own tears. Both waited till each other was done before they spoke.
"You did this before."
"I did." There was a long silence between the two. "If I have to live without you and Justina then I don’t want to live." Kristina began to cry even harder, yes she was sad, hurt and upset, but to live without Justin in the world would kill her. Maybe she wouldn’t go as far as killing herself but she’d die in the inside and that would be just as worst.
"How do I even know I can trust you Justin? You can’t keep doing this to yourself because if you hurt me or Justina--"
"I won’t, I won’t. I can’t say I promise because I already broke one but I swear on everything I am I will never hurt you. I love you. Being without you is the worst I have ever felt in my entire life. I cannot do it anymore, I just can’t. My daughter needs her father, my wife needs her husband, please…..I am begging you." Justin began to hiccup from his tears. "I am begging you" he said through his cracked voice.
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