After they're conversation Justin decided they should get started right away and pulled her upstairs to the bedroom. She wasn't complaining, she loved to be with him and be close to him in that way. But in the back of her mind there was that little twinge of doubt, that sting of regret. If only she knew what was going on with him. Things were so perfect and then all of a sudden he had this compulsive need that couldn't be filled any other way but a baby.

McKayla smoothed a hand over the sheet covering her stomach and pouted.

"I'm not ready to get fatter yet," she whispered to herself.

Justin groaned in his sleep and grabbed her hand.

"Stop it," he instructed, already slipping back into slumber.

McKayla looked at him with annoyed eyes, it was like he had some kind of sixth sense when it came to her feeling bad about herself. He always knew, no matter what.

She slowly pulled herself away from him and walked to the full length mirror in the corner. She stood there, studying her body as she had many times before. She wasn't ready for it all to change. Not her body, her personality, her lifestyle, her marriage, she wasn't ready for any of it. But a baby would bring all that. It would come first, it would run her life forever. She'd have to grow up and that didn't sound like any fun at all.

"Didn't I just tell you to stop it?" his voice startled her.

McKayla glanced at him as he rested his chin on her shoulder, his arms over her exposed breasts.

"I wasn't doing anything," she smiled innocently.

"Mmmhmm, then why are you standing here?"

She watched him in the mirror, admiring his skin. His shoulders were covered with freckles that she found adorable.

"Just felt like looking."

He tilted his head and nodded.

"Looks good," he decided.

"That's because your a pervert who likes to sneak up behind people without any clothes on."

"Your not wearing anything either."

"I didn't ask for the story, I said you sneak up behind people without clothes on."

"You know you like it."

She smirked and her eyes glanced away, her mind somewhere else.

"Hey," Justin tapped her temple, "let me in."

"What?"

"I can see your wheels turning from here. I think I even heard one of the creak. What's going on in there?"

"Nothing much."

"You sure? You look really thoughtful."

"It's nothing. go back to bed, you have an early day tomorrow."

"So do you."

"But I'm not as grumpy as you are."

"Oh yeah right."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

"I'm not."

He held his hands up in a submissive pose.

"Shut up and go to bed," she turned and shoved him playfully.

"I think maybe you should come with me."

"Naw, I'm not tired."

"I wasn't talking about sleeping baby."

She replayed his sentence in her mind and made a face.

"You're nasty."

"Yeah," he kissed her, "well," he kissed her again, "that didn't seem to bother you before."

"It did. I just never mentioned it."

"Then," he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her towards the bed, "that's your problem."

Shannon pushed the door open and stepped on to the marble floor of the foyer.

"Justin?"

"He's out right now, would you like to leave a message?"

She followed McKayla's voice into the family room where she found the woman sitting on the sofa with a blanket over her legs and various food items on the coffeetable.

"What are you doing?"

"Watching the Golden Girls," McKayla reached out to the table and somehow pulled out a cheeseburger.

"What else have you got in there," Shannon began fishing through the wrappers.

"Hey hey hey hey hey," McKayla swatted at her hands, "get outta my food vault."

"Why are you sitting here pigging out?"

McKayla stood up, tossing the blanket to the side and headed to the kitchen.

"Because I want to. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing."

Shannon took a seat at the counter and watched McKayla rummage through the fridge. She finally produced a pint of chocolate cheese cake ice cream.

"Dammit," she muttered.

"What?"

"I really want ice cream right now."

"There's some in your hand."

"I can't eat that, it's Justin's."

"So?"

"So if he comes home and finds out I ate his ice cream he will spank me."

"I thought you'd be into that S&M thing."

McKayla turned to give her friend an annoyed glare and the finger.

"Why are you here? What are you doing in my house?"

"I needed to talk to you about a few things."

"Like?"

"Well, for one thing, your schedule is different."

McKayla looked at her with hesitation.

"It's lighter. Most of the TV shows have been spread out to give you more room to breath, and some are going to be shot at the same time, like Extra and Entertainment Tonight and all those other gossip shows can come at the same time and use different clips."

"Are you serious? How did you do that?"

"I had a nice long chat with Nick. Well, your husband and I had a nice long chat with Nick."

McKayla walked around the island and hugged the assistant.

"I knew I kept you two around for a reason."

"Love you too."

McKayla pulled away and sat on the stool next to her.

"So what else is going on?"

"There will be a new person joining Team McKayla Malone tomorrow. You will be getting another personal assistant."

"I am?"

"Yep."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yep."

"Well, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. You are just to damn busy Diva. We've been looking for a while and finally found someone."

"We've been looking for a while huh? Why am I just hearing about it?"

Shannon shrugged, "Slipped my mind."

"You have got to start telling me stuff down. You can't tell me I have to do a show the day that it's tapping. You can't tell me I'm getting a new assistant that day before she gets here. I'm supposed to trust the people on my team and I haven't even laid eyes on her yet. What's her name?"

"Athena Gianopolous."

"She's Greek isn't she?"

"Yes. She's adorable. You'll like her."

"Are you sure? She's not crazy is she? She's not like the nurse at the hospital I told you about right?"

"No, she's really cool. Kinda crazy, in a fun way. She reminds me of you."

"I'm not crazy."

"Okay."

"Shut up Shan."

The woman chuckled and McKayla chewed on her cheek. Shannon was someone McKayla had come to trust over the years. She'd been there since the beginning of her career, and she trusted her opinion as much as anyone else's. Right now she could really use some friendly advice.

"All right, ask."

"Huh?" McKayla snapped out of her funk.

"You want to ask me something."

"No, I don't."

Shannon gave her a look.

"Yeah right."

McKayla sighed. Shannon was right, she did have a question burning in her throat, but she couldn't ask it.

"Lucy, I'm home," Justin's voice rang out.

"Did you bring me ice cream?"

There was a pause and then a confused voice responded, "No."

"Then I don't care."

"Ouch. Diss."

McKayla rolled her eyes. That was Trace's voice. She glanced over at Shannon to try to catch some kind of a reaction. She knew Shannon and Trace has something going on on the down low, she just had to get the woman to spill.

"So are you gonna tell me what's going on in that mind of yours?"

"It's nothing," McKayla waved it off as she had so many times.

"You sure?"

"I'm positive. I'm just tired, and I want friggin ice cream."

She was a terrible wife.

Regardless of what anyone said, she knew that was true. She'd told Eric and Shannon to meet her at Maverick later on in the day because she had some errands to run that morning. Just the stereotypical house wife chores like getting the groceries and dropping off the dry-cleaning.

She lied.

She went to a clinic instead. Some 'Planned Parenthood' type place that kept everything anonymous. They'd wanted to give her a patch but she demanded the pill. His wandering hands would find a patch on her body no matter where she put it. Plus, knowing her, she'd forget it was there and leave it on for 3 days or something. Now she was sitting in her rental, twirling the delicate pink container in her hands.

Justin would blow a gasket if he knew she'd started taking birth control pills. Then he'd kill her for doing it behind his back. She popped out one of the pills and stared at it. If she took this, she was breaking her promise to Justin. She was destroying their chances of conceiving in the near future... or atleast significantly lowering them. She was tossing her husband's needs aside in exchange for her own.

She tossed the pill into her mouth and gulped down half of her water bottle before she felt the warm tears gather in her eyes. She leaned her forehead on the cold leather of the steering wheel and sobbed silently. What was she doing? Was it the right thing?

McKayla sat up and ran a hand over her face before putting the car into drive. She had to get to Maverick to meet this Athena girl. Once she got across town, checked her make-up, got passed security, and up to the 23rd floor, she walked to conference room A with a nervous smile on her face. She wasn't good with new people. Sure she was loud and outspoken with Justin and her girlfriends, but she was very shy around strangers. She had to warm up to them, or have a few drinks, either one.

The door opened infront of her and Shannon smiled.

"Hey, I was just coming to call you," she grabbed her hand and pulled her inside.

"Kay, this is Athena. Athena, this is Kayla"

McKayla smiled at the brunette infront of her. Athena smiled twenty times brighter and started to talk a mile a minute.

"Hi, it's such a pleasure to meet you. I'm so excited to be working with you, or for you," she raised her hand in a high five that McKayla hesitantly gave, "this is going to be totally awesome, I can feel it."

McKayla just grinned politely like she did when she was pissed off at Justin but wasn't alone with him so she couldn't show it.

"Well, we've got a long day so you two will have to get to know eachother later, " Shannon shooed the towards the door.

"Are you kidding me?" McKayla hissed, "She reminds you of me? She's like the old Christina Aguilera on speed."

Shannon shoved her towards the door and shook her head as Eric laughed.

"So tell me, how is married life? You just had your 2 year anniversary not to long ago right?"

"Yeah."

They always asked these questions. It used to be about her, her album, what she was planning next. Now she was Mrs. Timberlake. They wanted to know about their marriage, about Justin, what their lifestyle was like, how he was in bed.

Bunch of over the hill perverts.

"Yeah."

"How was that?"

"It was great. I had a lot of fun, we had a good time."

You had a super secret function in Miami and then disappeared for a few days."

McKayla nodded.

"Tell me about that."

"I can't. Otherwise it wouldn't be a super secret function anymore."

"No details."

"Sorry."

"Okay well then tell me, when are we going to be seeing baby Timberlakes."

McKayla inwardly rolled her eyes.

"I have no idea. We talk about that stuff, but we haven't set an official plan or anything."

The older lady smiled.

"Well, that's all I have."

"Really? Well, that was harmless."

"I told you it would be. Thank you for the interview."

"Oh it was a pleasure. Thank you."

As the woman headed for the door, stopping off to say a few words to Shannon and pick up her press packet, Athena stepped over to her.

"I didn't like that lady. She was muy muy stupid. Way too happy."

McKayla giggled. Over the past few days she'd come to like the girl, despite her bubbling nature.

"She wasn't that bad."

Athena shrugged, "Ready to go? You have a photoshoot in 20 minutes."

"Yeah yeah yeah let's go."

McKayla picked up her backpack, doubling as a purse, and headed out the door towards the elevator. Eric, Shannon, and Athena followed.

"Look at me, I have my own little entourage. I'm so cool."

"Your a nerd."

"No, I'm not."

Shannon rolled her eyes and turned to Athena.

"She emailed me last night to show me her emoticons."

"I know, she emailed me too," Athena nodded.

"You thought they were cute though!" Kayla defended.

"They were, those cute little face," Athena smiled.

She had the most contagious grin that spread over her face and made her eyes squint and crinkle on the sides. She looked adorable, like a little girl. Not to mention she always wore something crazy, like shorts and knee high toe socks or a head band with cat ears on the top or a skirt and top that didn't match in any sense of the word.

"Nerd," Shannon stated.

"I'm not a nerd. Excuse me for having fun," McKayla stick her chin up into the air.

"Nerd," she stated again.

"You know, it's the little things in life okay? Emoticons, milkshakes..."

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard," Athena did a little dance which Shannon and McKayla both seemed to ignore.

Eric let out a deeply pitched chuckle, enjoying the friendly argument taking place before him.

"...Shopping, JC Chasez."

Everyone watched as McKayla's mind wandered off, as it often did.

"JC in tight black wifebeaters... and low khaki cargo pants... sweating the hot sun... his curly hair brushed back... muscles-."

"McKayla," Athena put her hand on her arm, "you're a nerd, deal with it."

"I don't mind being a N.E.R.D."

"Not the group sweetie, the other definition," Shannon patted McKayla's arm.

"I think that's more Athena than me," McKayla stepped onto the elevator.

"No, Athena's more short yellow school bus special."

"You know, for someone with a dorky disposition like yours you sure are handing out labels. Fuck you, but don't tell anyone you heard me say that, I don't curse."

"Eric what do you think?" McKayla turned to him.

"I think I can't wait to tell Justin about your little JC episode."

~*~*~*~

"McKayla's phone," Shannon spoke.

"Where's my wife?"

"Having her picture taken. What's going on Justin?"

"Nothing, just looking for my woman while I had a second to myself."

"Well, I might be able to steal her away if you need to talk to her."

"Naw, just tell her I called and to holla back when she gets a chance. Oh, and that I can't her snugglebunny."

"Snugglebunny?" Shannon made a face.

"Yeah, she hates that cute, sweet couples shit. Makes her gag everytime."

"You are so nice."

"I know."

Her tone was sarcastic, his was cocky.

"Well, Justin, I hate to go but some of us have real work to do."

He scoffed.

"Yeah, I'm sure someone needs you to go get them water, or something."

Shannon made a disapproving noise.

"Bye Justin."

"Later Shan."

Justin hung up the phone and turned just as Trace stepped into the room.

"Say hello to the little woman?"

"She was busy. Shannon sends her love though."

Trace gave him a look, "Blow me."

Justin chuckled and sat down next to him, immediately snatching the remote control from his hands.

"What the f-."

"You know you suck at this game."

"Bitch, give it back!" Trace launched himself at Justin.

The other man held him back with one hand and laughed hauntingly, till he was punched in the stomach. Trace took back the controller and turned to the television.

"So, whatever happened with that baby thing?"

Justin grunted and slouched back into the sofa.

"It's going good I think. She agreed to give it a shot."

"Think she'll get pregnant soon?"

"Don't know. We definitely trying though."

Trace made a face.

"That right there is enough information man."

"Don't worry. I wouldn't give you the pleasure of telling you about my sex life with McKayla. I know it'd only feed those freaky fantasies you have about her," Justin teased.

Trace shrugged, unaffected by the comment and Justin shoved him, hard.

"Dude!"

"Dude? Can you blame me?"

"Shut up," Justin snatched the controller back again.

"You Mother-," Justin's cellphone rang and Trace used the distraction to snatch the controller back, and smack Justin on the head for good measure.

Justin raised his fist to hit him back, but when Trace held up the phone, explaining that the caller ID read 'Wifey' he stopped himself.

"Your so lucky," he muttered, "Hello?"

"Hey."

"Hey you."

"I got your message, via Shannon. What's going on?"

"Nothing. You just saved Trace's ass. I was 'bout to lay the smack down."

Trace stuck his tongue out and Justin hit him on the chin, making him bite it.

"Your such a bully."

"Baby he deserves it."

"Your always beating up on him."

"He started it!"

"Whatever Randall," he could hear her smile, and smiled himself, "So I heard you and Shannon talked to Nick about my schedule."

"Yeah."

"Thank you for that. I think the pressure alone was going to kill me."

"Well, we can't have you working so hard and so much when we're trying to have a baby. You might hurt yourself, or it. Plus isn't it bad if your always fatigued and stuff? I mean it doesn't help the baby making effort."

Trace gagged and Justin shot him a look from the corner of his eye. McKayla sighed in frustration on her end. Already the baby was the first thing on his mind. Wasn't it bad if she was always fatigued just because she should be fatigued all the time?

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Anyway, thanks, I appreciate it."

"No problem."

"Well, I gotta go, Conan's tapping in a little bit."

"Alright. What time are you getting back to the hotel?"

"Late. You'll be there before me, I'm sure."

"Well, I'll wait up for you."

"You don't have too."

If it was sex he was after, he was shit outta luck. She's wasn't doing anything with anyone tonight.

"I want too."

"All right, well I'll see you tonight."

"Okay. I love you girl."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

McKayla heard an obscene word and a yelp from Trace before Justin's line went dead.

She'd been right, she didn't walk into her hotel room until around 2 a.m. Justin was waiting up for her, his eyes droopy with exhaustion, but she never thought she'd be so happy to see his face.

"Randall... Randall help me," she said struggling to pull off her boots.

Justin perked up, taking in her short leather shirt, fishnets, black ankle boots and white tank top. She wasn't wearing that when they left this morning. If she had they'd have definitely been late getting out the door because he had little restraint when it came to her, and those legs.

"Help me help me," she waddled over to him.

"Why are you walking on your heels?"

"Because my feet hurt. I've been in those boots for frigging 18 hours. My feet hurt sooooo bad. Make it go away," she plopped down on the other end of the sofa and put her feet in his lap. He smirked and did as she requested. He pressed his thumbs into the bottom of her foot and she hissed.

"Sorry."

"It's alright. It always hurts before it gets better," she sank down into the sofa with a sigh.

"How was Conan? Have fun?" his continued massaging her foot.

"He's such an idiot," she smirked and gave him a sexy gaze through the eyelashes of her half open eyes, "but he's a nice guy, he's funny."

Justin nodded in agreement.

"What'd you do today?"

"PR crap mostly. Meetings, a few phone interviews, I laid down another track."

"That's why you sound hoarse, all that talking."

"Yeah well," he shrugged.

It was part of the job. It sucked, but it was worth it in the end. His pay off was getting paid an obscene amount of money to do what he loved the most.

"Where did all this come from?" he motioned to her jet back hair that was wild and tousled with golden flakes and the little pink star on her cheek.

"Athena. She kept whining until I put it on this morning. She said I was mucho mucho sexy."

"You are."

"You're not so bad yourself," she batted her eyelashes before giggling at herself.

He smiled, his hands slowing as he felt himself slip into a deeper state of exhaustion. McKayla became quiet, her eyes focusing on some imaginary spot alittle over his shoulder. She'd been doing that a lot over the past few days, though it wasn't uncommon for McKayla to drift off. She was known for forgetting what she was saying in the middle of talking because her mind just went off into another place. But for her to be so enclosed with herself, to be keeping her thoughts hidden, wasn't normal. She usually didn't have much of a problem saying what was on her mind. She'd say what she liked, what she hated, what she thought was dorky, whatever she wanted. The only time she really held her tongue was when she couldn't think of a tasteful way to say something.

But with him, she was an open book. He could read her at any given moment, and she could do the same to him. But her pages were written in hieroglyphics, the covers securely clamped closed to keep anyone from getting in. It was starting to bother him, it was starting to worry him. He knew something was wrong and he wanted to fix it for her.

McKayla felt his eyes. She'd snapped out of her trance, but enjoyed the silence and being able to watch him without really staring at him. They never sat together anymore. There was always a track or a show, or talk of a baby. They hadn't been silent in a long time. She knew he wanted to know what was going on in her mind. It wasn't often that she kept herself closed off from him. Sure others had limited access to her thought, but her husband was a different story. All her life she'd wanted to find that man that she could share every little secret with and know that he'd still love her in the morning. Now that she had that she reviled in it. She wanted desperately to tell him, keeping her feelings hidden was making her feel so cowardly and weak. She wanted him to know how she felt, what she thought, what she wanted, what she was doing, everything. She wanted him to tell her it was okay and that he'd make it all better. But he wouldn't understand and she couldn't make him.

He knew that bringing up her distance would start a fight, and she knew that mentioning what was on her mind would only end badly. So he didn't ask, and she didn't offer. They should have spoken up, but neither of them had the energy to battle.

Two wrongs made it alright that night.