The minutes ticked by slowly and after an eternity, McKayla looked at the clock to see that it'd only been 4 hours. Her set for the AIDS concert had come and gone and now she was just counting the hours until she, hopefully, feel asleep and would awake to get on a plane and go home to LA. Home to LA, to a husband that was going to kill her. Knowing Justin he'd probably already gone in her bag, found the pills, put the pieces together, and was now sitting somewhere letting it all simmer in his mind. Simmer so that it was boiling by the time she came home.

Today's word of the day: Shit.

Shit shit fucking-a shit.

"Shit."

"What?"

"Huh?" McKayla looked up to see Shannon looking back at her.

She didn't even realize anyone was paying any attention to her.

"What was that little mutter for?"

"Nothing," McKayla looked away, her hands running back and forth over her thighs nervously.

"What's going with you lately? You seem really worried about something."

"It's nothing."

"You know what, I am so sick and tired of looking at your face. Get up, get dressed, we're going out," Shannon pulled the blanket off her legs.

"No, I don't really feel like-."

"I don't care, let's go, get up."

"Whoa, whoa, where are we gonna take her?" Athena asked.

"To some little bar where no one will notice her."

"And that bar would be where? Tahiti?"

"See she's right we should stay here," McKayla nodded.

"I know a place now come on. What are you two still sitting there for? Get ready. Go!"

~*~

The bar was a small place on the corner, on the outskirts of town. It was alittle run down, plain, but seemed like a semi-popular spot judging from the noise coming from inside. McKayla stepped in and took a look around, as did Eric and Athena. They exchanged a look before following Shannon over to a round table in the corner.

"There's stuff all over the floor," Athena complained, sitting on a wobbly stool.

"They're just peanuts, all bars have them," Shannon waved her off.

"I'm going to take a look around, you three stay here," Eric instructed.

McKayla nodded before he moved to walk away.

"And I'm going to get us something to drink," Shannon smiled.

Once she was gone Athena and McKayla exchanged another glance. Neither really wanted to be there.

"What the hell is under my chair?" Athena jumped down and leaned over to inspect.

She stood up a moment later with a red condom in hand. McKayla laughed out loud instantly as she watched the girl drop it onto the table and begin poking it through the wrapper.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I've never seen one of these before," she poked it again, "what's all that water in there?"

McKayla dropped her head onto the table, hiding her laughter. Shannon chose that moment to return, a pitcher in one hand and three glasses in the other.

"Stop your pouting," she patted the back of McKayla's head.

"All right," she sat up, "how long do I have to stay here until I'm set free?"

"Long enough to get drunk," Shannon answered.

"Well, start pouring, I have work to do."

Shannon giggled and did as instructed. Eric appeared at McKayla's side.

"Everything looks all clear here. You don't have anything to worry about. I'm gonna be over there at the bar with that young lady," he pointed with a smile.

"Well, go on boy, get your freak on."

"So come on lady's let's gossip," her attention pulled her back.

Athena took a sip from the cup placed it infront of her and immediately spit it out.

"What the hell is this?"

"Don't worry about it. Drink it," Shannon replied, reaching out to pick up the red object on the table, "What's this?"

"It's hers," McKayla pointed to Athena.

"I found it on the floor."

"And you picked it up?"

"It's in the wrapper."

"That's gross."

"So is what you did with that piece of gum last night."

"Point taken," Shannon sat down.

"Okay so, we're gossiping. Shannon, tell us about you and Trace," McKayla leaned in with interest.

"There's nothing to tell."

"Don't give me that. Come on, gimme all the dirty nasty details."

Athena laughed at McKayla's choice of words.

"Your not letting this go until I tell you, are you?"

McKayla shook her head.

"Well, too bad. I'm not telling."

"Oh come on! I'm your best friend! You have to tell me, you never tell me stuff."

"I tell you lots of stuff."

"Then tell me this."

"I don't want to."

McKayla's eyes narrowed, "Why?"

"Because," Shannon looked away.

"Because why? Stop being weird and talk to me."

"I just..." she swallowed half the contents of her glass.

"Was that to get up the courage to tell me?" McKayla's eyebrows rose, "Uh-oh."

"Come on, what happened?" Athena dropped her hand on Shannon's arm.

The woman sighed.

"We-we did hook up, that day at his house...."

"Oooh I told you," McKayla smiled at Athena.

"... And at first it was just casual, but now he wants this relationship and I thought I didn't but I don't know."

"Do you think you might wanna be with him?" Athena pushed gently.

"I don't know. I think I do but I just, if it doesn't work out then I'll still work for you and he'll still work for Justin and I'll still see him everyday. But I don't know. I think I really do like him and I keep kicking myself in the butt for letting him go. We had this huge fight right before we went to the airport, and instead of telling him how I felt, I let him think that I didn't give a damn about him or our relationship. Why did I do that?"

"Well, sometimes people don't say things outloud because they don't like the way it sounds, or they're afraid to be that vulnerable. Like, I love you, or I need you, or I'm lonely," McKayla supplied.

Shannon nodded.

"But sweetie why were you afraid to say that to me?"

"Because I didn't want you to think less of me. Here I am sleeping with some guy that I'm not in a relationship with, and she's parading around as president of the V club and your this perfect little creature."

"Perfect little creature? Are you forgetting how Justin became my husband?"

"No, but look at what you did with it. You manage to fall in love with the guy and have the picture perfect marriage. And look at who he is. Even thought you accidentally married him, you pick Justin Timberlake of all guys. Not Carson Daly, no. You had to be the one to land the gorgeous, talented, playboy. Even when your bad it's perfect. And your some kind of saint too. You do charity events and concerts, donate to charities. You walk for AIDS and breast cancer every year, you do the MTV Fight for your Rights campaign and Rock the Vote ads. You even do those sponsor a child things on TV."

"Shan I'm not perfect. I did alot of bad things, I just don't say anything about them."

"Yeah right."

"No really, I did."

Shannon and Athena looked and her half unconvinced and half expectantly.

"I once went out with some friends, and we met a couple guys, and we told them we were 18 and spent the night in their hotel room. I drove to the mall without a license in and uninsured car and went shopping with money I stole from my mother's purse. I stole things for an ex-boyfriend and nearly got busted. I did get written up for bad mouthing a cop though. I made up a fake name and went to Vegas to work as a showgirl."

"You were a stripper?" Athena's face displayed pure shock.

"No, I wanted to be a showgirl. With the feather's and everything. But my mother came looking for me. And once I accidentally had a, ahem, interestingly sexy conversation with a guy I met on the Internet."

"You did what?!"

"Hey he called me and he started it. I just listened. The point is, Shannon, I've done a lot of foolish things. Things I'm not proud of, things I'd change. I just keep them secrets."

"Does Justin know?"

"Nope. All this stuff is between me and my diary, and now you. Plus, may I point out that what you did wasn't bad. You didn't go out and sleep with some guy, you've known Trace just as long as I've known Justin. You guys have spent a lot of time together and gotten to know eachother for a while."

"What was your alias?" Athena asked.

"I'm not telling you. No way, it's so immature."

"Come on tell me."

"Uh-uh. I've revealed enough for today," McKayla sipped her glass, "You sure picked a hell of a place to have this conversation."

Shannon giggled.

"Okay Athena, your turn. What bad things have you done?"

"Well," she leaned forward and spoke softly as if her secret were the most important in the world, "when I was 16, I let a guy touch my boob. Ya know like, under my shirt."

Shannon and McKayla looked up at eachother before laughing.

"You dirty dirty skank," Shannon laughed.

"Well, then here's to secrets among friends," McKayla rose her glass.

"Best friends," Athena corrected.

"But let's just face it, your perfect," Shannon spoke.

McKayla smiled, "I am pretty amazing aren't I?"

"Yeah, and oh so modest."

"Don't be jealous Shan, I'm sure some of my amazingness with rub off on you too. Then you will become just like me, my little Shan-slave."

"Oh God, I don't think I could handle two McKayla's, I'm barely surviving the one."

"Hey!" McKayla looked at Athena.

"I love you!" the girl gave her a hug in response.

Kayla stuck her tongue out before smiling.

They could tease her, and think she was perfect all she wanted. But she had a feeling things were about to get a lot less perfect in her world.

McKayla pushed open the front door and looked around carefully. Everything was in place. No broken glass, no holes in the walls, no signs of someone find out and very bad news.

"Randall?" she called out, setting her back on the floor near the door.

She didn't hear a noise, so she stepped farther into house, ducking behind a wall before peeking out into the livingroom. When her eyes focused on what was before her she melted, and a put a hand over her heart. Setup in the middle of the room was a round table, with a deep red table clothe, tall white candles, and red rose petals sprayed out.

Dinner. A dinner? Did he know? Was is possible that he still had no idea?

"Welcome home," a hand was placed on her hip and she closed her eyes.

The thought of pills or an offensive bag upstairs drifting far from her mind. He smiled really good, he sounded really good, and when she turned to find him in a suit, he looked really good too. Her body yearned to be close to him. It felt as if it'd been ages since she felt his touch, even though it'd only been a mere 75 hours.

"It's good to be home," she reached out for him, but he took a step back and only allowed her a peck on the lips.

"As you can see, I've prepared dinner for you. You've got to be hungry and it's getting cold so come on," he grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the table.

"Like this? I should change," she looked back and forth between them.

"You look great, better than me," he pulled her chair out, "Madam."

She sat down with a smile. Justin leaned over and pulled the cover off her plate for her.

"And for your eating pleasure tonight we have," he made up a few French words, "also known as Fettuccini Alfredo."

"Ahh," McKayla giggled at him as he sat down.

"Where did all this come from? What's going on?" she inquired.

"What? Can't a guy just do something for his wife?" he dropped his napkin in his lap.

She shrugged her shoulders and picked up her fork, swirling it around in her plate before taking a bite.

"This is really good," she complimented.

"Thanks."

"You made this?"

"Yep."

She gave him a look and took another bite.

"You did?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded.

"How much did you tip the delivery man when you made this?"

Justin gave her a look.

"All right, it's take-out. But I took it out of the plastic containers and put it on the plates didn't I?"

"Good job honey," she clapped.

Justin shot her a playful look.

"But I had you fooled for a minute didn't I?"

"Totally fooled."

He didn't really, but there was no need for her to tell him that. Her focus was more on the drop of sauce that had escaped onto his lip. She really wanted to clear that up for him.

"What?" he licked his lip, noticing her stare.

"Nothing, you just got rid of it."

The dinner continued on, completely with a game of footsie under the table. But that was the closest he came to letting her touch him. When she reached out of fix his short hair he leaned back and did it himself. McKayla could feel her body getting ready to burst. Somewhere mixed in with all the worrying she'd done, she had really missed him, and now she had to sit and watch him instead of being able to touch him? This was a crappie deal.

"Okay," he said, "I've got one more surprise for you. Well, two actually."

McKayla watched with interest and we stood and lifted the cover off a silver plate in the middle of the table. Little pieces of chocolate laid underneath.

"Candy?"

"Rum and Cognac filled truffles to be exact."

"Ahh trying to sneak and get me drunk huh?"

"Something like that."

"So, that's surprise number one..."

"Surprise number two," he picked up a remote and music started to flow into the room, "you get to dance with me."

"Do I now? I'm not sure how this is really a surprise for me."

"You're right it's not," he held out his hand, "my lady."

She excepted his hand, and stood, allowing him to pull her away from the table and into his arms. His hands rested on her back, and his face turned to the crook of her neck where his breath warmed her skin. she slid her hands up his back to his shoulders. He felt so warm, so protective. He made her feel so safe, like he could even keep her from herself if he had too.

It'd been so long since they danced together. They never danced, despite the fact that she loved how they moved. Someone once told her that dance was a love affair, you find eachother when the song begins, and your sad to leave eachother when it's over. Sometimes she wondered if they really embodied that the way she thought they did. But there was always someone wanting their attention or some publicity stunt to pull or press junket keeping them apart. But maybe that was okay, because then they could have moment like right now where their movement was private and personal.

Her head lolled onto her shoulder with a sigh, and he smiled.

"I know. It has been a really long time since we danced together."

She smiled and looked up at him.

"Would you get out of my head? A girl would like to have one or two secrets."

"Oh, I think you keep plenty of that brain of yours hidden away from me."

She shrugged.

"What have you been doing these passed few days?"

He shrugged back.

"Nothing. What did you do?"

"Why is it when I try to turn the conversation to you, you turn it to me?"

He spun her out, and back into him.

"Your just so gosh-darn interesting I guess."

"Dull life you must lead."

"Hey, stop that," he looked down at her, "how many times do I have to tell you how amazing you are before you start to believe it?"

Kayla looked down as a blush crept onto her cheeks. He always got to her like that.

"That many times huh? You know Kay, I gotta admit, sometimes I like this front."

"What front?"

"The one where your so confident that no one would dare mutter a negative thing to you, just because it would be a waste of breath because you wouldn't care."

"Hands above the hips Randall."

He muttered a 'dammit'.

"That's no act ya know," she said.

"You sure?"

"You want a show? Cause I can give you one. I can give you the red light special and knock your socks off baby."

"Really? This I wanna see."

He leaned forward and placed his lips on her cheek, then alittle closer to her mouth, then the corner of her mouth, and then he intended on placing them on her lips, but she stepped back, out of his arms. If he could brush her off during dinner, she could brush him off too. She walked around to the other side of the table and smiled as he eyes became hungry. He followed her slowly, purposefully and missed it when her hand snaked out onto the table.

"McKayla, come here," he requested.

She took a few more steps, to keep distance between them, and pretended to yawn, putting a hand to her mouth. When she took a step away from him again, he jumped at her, catching her around the waist. She giggled until he spun her around in his arms.

"I've got something you want," her voice was husky.

"What?" So was his.

"Chocolate," she opened her mouth to reveal a single truffle on her tongue.

He smirked, his mouth coming down to cover hers. He pushed the piece of chocolate aside as he kissed her before pulling away and giving her a slight push backwards. Her back hit the wall and he grabbed her arms, pinning them above her head.

"I think you are all the chocolate I need right now."

"Good, cause I think tonight I'm all the chocolate you can handle."

She stood on her tiptoes, kissing him as he turned her towards the stairs. She'd worry about the pills tomorrow. Tonight, she was going to get very close to her husband.

McKayla spit out the tooth paste and swished some water around in her mouth. Justin hollered something at the TV and she smirked to herself before pushed the door closed alittle. It was around 8 p.m., and she was dressed for bed in blue pj pants and a black tank. She'd gotten home the night before to one of the best homecoming party she'd ever been given. The guest list had been two: Justin, and a red silk night gown he's left on her side of the bed. It probably hadn't been the best idea to sleep with him the previous night, but she was positive she had nothing to worry about. They'd been intimate countless times before and hadn't gotten pregnant, this time was no different. Besides, she'd finally tracked down her pills and was getting back on them.

She filled a small glass with water and popped one out of the container. Just as she put it to her lips she heard Justin yelling her name from the bedroom, and he sounded desperate.

"Kay?! Kay come here, quick!"

She put the pill and the glass down and rushed out of the bathroom.

"What?"

"Could you hand me the remote babygirl? It's on top of the TV."

McKayla's eyes narrowed on him as he laid in bed.

"That is what you were screaming about?"

"Well, I wasn't really screaming, more like calling," he responded.

McKayla picked up the remote off the top of the TV and threw it at him, hitting him in the stomach. He let out a 'ugh' and looked at her.

"What?"

The phone rang and McKayla walked over to the cordless on her night stand.

"You know what," she responded.

She picked up the phone, "Hello? Hey Athena."

Justin sat up and said he was going to the bathroom before hopping off the bed.

"No, we didn't go out last night... Yeah I heard about that article too... Yeah Nick said he was going to take care of it... Uh-huh, I'm sure."

"Kay?"

She heard Justin's voice.

"Kayla?" he called her again.

"I'm on the phone."

"Well, I need you to get off."

"Huh? No, that's just Justin, Athena... No, he's not annoying me any more than usual."

"McKayla," his voice was stern.

"Thena, I gotta go, he's getting pissy about something.... All right I will.... Bye."

McKayla hung up the phone just as Justin stepped infront of her, her pink pill container in his hand.

"Kay, what the hell is this?"

Shit. Shit. Fuckin shit.

"Just some pills the doctor gave me?"

Her voice was too high to be convincing.

"What kind of pills?" he asked.

She could tell by the way he moved that we was trying very, very hard to be calm.

"For a uh, cold?"

His eyes bored into hers and she broke under the pressure. He was incredibly intimidating, not to mention scary, when he wanted to be.

"All right that was a lie. They're not for a cold, they're birth control," she could physically see the anger radiating off of him once she said that, "but I just went on them two days ago."

He continued to stare at her.

"Okay that was a lie too. Damn."

"You better start talking. You better start explaining fast," he tossed them on the bed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, okay Justin, you know that I didn't want to have a baby, but you really wanted one, so I thought that maybe I could go on the pill till I was ready, you would never know the difference."

"So you lied to me."

"Sort of."

"No, you did! You lied to me, you told me you would try, you promised me, you told me it was fine. How could you? How could you do this?"

"Wait a minute. Don't lay all of this on me."

"Why not? Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did. Remember someone saying, 'Justin I'm not ready. Justin let's wait a year or two?' Remember that? That was me."

"Then why did you say we could try?"

"For a second I thought we could. And then I thought about it and I couldn't handle it. Plus I didn't want to hurt you."

"Good job with that McKayla. This doesn't hurt at all, not one bit."

"Hey, if you weren't so persistent we wouldn't even be here. But you were so sure, so set in your ways. You were so positive that what you wanted for me was what I needed."

"Isn't that my job as the man of this relationship? To make the decisions for this family."

"So now I'm just the stupid wife? I don't have a mind, I don't know what I want?"

"Oh don't put fucking words in my mouth Kay. I've had just about all the bullshit I can take today."

"You know what's bullshit? This whole biased conversation. I'm not the only guilty party here."

McKayla turned her back to him and headed out of the room and down the hall.

"McKayla?" she heard his deep voice echo and she stepped down the stairs.

"McKayla? McKayla. McKayla!"

Suddenly he was there, grabbed her arm and pulling her back to him as she moved to step into the kitchen. His fingers pressed into her skin almost to the point that it hurt.

"I'm talking to you. Don't walk away from me."

"Don't touch me like that. I'm not some child," she pulled her arm free.

"Are you sure?"

"Screw you. You know what Justin Randall Timberlake, this is all your fault when you get right down to it. Your the one with your head so far up your own ass you don't see what's going on around you."

"What are you talkin about?"

"You don't listen to me. You never listen to me. Your so into your own world. But you know what? You're not 'King Justin'. I don't have to do what you tell me to."

"No, you don't, but you do have to talk to me about things like this. You can't just decide that you don't want to have a baby and go on birth control."

"Why not? It's my life."

"I thought it was our life."

"No, it's my life okay? I'm the one out there being asked the questions and I'm the one fighting for a place on the charts and I'm the one having to wear push-up bras and short skirts. I'm the one being the other Timberlake."

"The other Timberlake?"

"Yes, I'm not McKayla anymore, I'm Justin's wife. I'm not a Malone. I'm a Timberlake."

"What's so wrong with that?"

"I don't want that! My name is McKayla, not Justin's wife. I want my name back. I want my career back. People don't ask me about my career anymore. They ask me how you are in bed, and what romantic things you've done for me."

"It's only been 2 years McKayla. Give it time to go away."

"It's not going away. It's been 2 years if it were going away it would have already. And you want to know the truth? I don't want to bring your child into this world right now because I know it'll either be pushed into the background like me, or it'll be like you and I'll just be the baby's mother and Justin's wife."

A glass shattered on the wall next to her. A glass Justin had thrown.

"God dammit!" he shouted, "Everything is always about you, as usual. You know what? We can't have a baby. Know why? Because your too selfish. It's you, your life, your career, your body. What about me? What about this?" he flashed his wedding band at her, "Does this mean nothing to you?"

"Ofcourse it does."

"Bullshit cause if it did you wouldn't have done this. You wouldn't have agreed to try. You would have said 'no' and sure we would have fought, but we'd have eventually worked it out. You wouldn't have gone behind my back and started taking birth control. Did you even bother to see if you were pregnant before you started taking it or did you just say 'Screw it, it's only baby, I don't care."

"Oh fuck you," her eyes were harsh.

"Fuck me? Fuck you."

"No fuck you. Excuse me for trying to be your perfect little wife and give you what you want. you wanted a baby, you had to have a baby. And your right, I shouldn't have given in, so damn me. Damn me, okay? I should have known you'd turn this around and try to make it my fault."

"Then why did you agree huh? Why did you say one thing and do another?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you! I didn't want to tell you no because when I did you got this look in your eyes and it made me feel so guilty."

"So now I'm supposed to believe you care about me?"

"I do."

"Bullshit, " he threw another glass at the wall with every word, "Bullshit bullshit bullshit."

"Stop it!" she shouted.

"Why? Does it scare you? Does it hurt? Does it make you wonder what I'm capable of? What I'll do next? Does it make you feel betrayed, like you can't trust me? Huh? Does it?" he threw another glass.

"You are such a child."

"And you are one cold hearted bitch."

"See, this is why we can't have a kid. I've already got one baby on my hands."

He walked over to her, his eyes glaring at her with something dangerously close to hatred. His breathing was labored and his chest rose and fell dramatically.

"You may not have me anymore," he said.

McKayla shook her head, the anger in her veins not allowing his words to register.

"No. Maybe you never really had me," she turned away from him.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm out of here. I can't do this," she ran up the stairs and he followed.

"Here we go again. You. You, you, you, you. What about me?"

"What about you?" she stopped at the doorway to the room and looked back at him, "Your a big boy Justin."

He stood there a moment, before shaking his head and her and turned his back. McKayla ran into the room and over to the closet, packing as fast as she possibly could. Once she filled two duffle bags she left the room, and descended the stairs. She could see Justin in the living room, with a a glass in his hand and a bottle of whiskey on the table. She picked up her keys off the foyer table and looked at him.

"So that's it then? You just going to sit there drinking while I walk out the door?"

He glanced over at her, noticing that she'd thrown on white sneakers, a jean jacket, and a multicolored scarf.

"You're gonna do whatever you want anyway. I can't stop you."

McKayla rolled her eyes and walked to the door. She pulled it open and stepped out, but just before it swung closed behind her she heard his deep voice again.

"I can't believe you're doing this. How could you mess us up like this?"

McKayla looked at him.

"Let's just face it Justin. We got married by accident, we were drunk it was never supposed to happen. But somehow it did and we managed, against all odds, to fall in love and stay married. But maybe it was all a big mistake from the beginning. Maybe just because we're in love, doesn't mean we should be together. Maybe we were never meant to love eachother. Or maybe we don't love eachother enough. Maybe we're not compatible," she paused to swallow the tears she could feel raising, "maybe this is just the end of the road for us. Maybe we don't get the fairy tale."

She stood there a moment, till he looked away, before she stepped out the door and let it close. She slowly walked down the steps and tossed her things in the trunk of her car, and took her time getting in. Some small part of her that was still a little girl, and very much believed in fairy tales, was hoping her Prince Charming would come running out after her. But he never did.

Still is the life Of your room when your not inside And all of your things Tell the sweetest storyline Your tears on these sheets And your footsteps are down the hall So tell me what I did I can't find where the moment went wrong at all

As soon as McKayla pulled out onto the main street, the salty tears she'd been repressing finally seeped through, and she pulled over to the side of the road. That was probably the hardest thing she'd ever done. Did she really just walk out on her husband? What did this mean for them? For her? Was it supposed to hurt this much? She ran a hand through her hair and realized she had no where to go. She couldn't check herself into a hotel, someone would notice a crying married popstar check into a room in the middle of the night.

Her fist hit the steering wheel. It was times like these fame really sucked. It was times like these she wished she was just another person on the street. It had it perks. She could shop where she wanted when she wanted, she could go anywhere she wanted, she could finally get a good nights sleep, and she wouldn't be a girl who'd just walked out on Justin.

McKayla dialed the number and pressed her cellphone to her ear.

"Hello? Shannon? Yeah, it's Kay. Listen, I need a favor."

You can be mad in the morning I'll take back what I said Just don't leave me alone here It's cold baby Come back to bed Come back to bed Come back to bed Come back to bed Come on back to bed

Justin stood at the window, watching her car back out the driveway. He'd seen her hesitate at the door, and stall before she got in the car. He knew what she wanted. She wanted him to come running out and tell her to stay. She wanted him to hug her and tell her he loved her and that everything would be okay. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't be that man for her. He did however, want her to decide to stay. To come back in and stay in the guest room instead. Or he'd sleep in the guest room. Or he'd leave if that's what it came down too. He'd rather she was there and he was the one out driving because then he'd atleast know where she was.

What will this fix? You know your not a quick forget And I won't sleep through this I survive on the breath you are finished with

McKayla pulled the hat down lower on her head. Shannon was on one said, Athena was on the other, and Eric was a few feet behind her. No one had seen her car being pulled around back to the private parking lot, and no one was noticing her now, but they still put a jacket, hat, and dark shades on her just incase.

McKayla rolled her eyes. Jesus Christ, they were only going to the elevator! Once they stepped inside she pulled the items off and rubbed her forehead.

"Kay," Athena said softly, looking at her with concern, "Kayla sweetie what happened?"

McKayla's eyes stayed straight forward as she answered.

"I left him."

When the doors opened she was the first one off, leaving three stunned and frozen bodies behind.

You can be mad in the morning I'll take back what I said Just don't leave me alone here It's cold baby Come back to bed Come back to bed Come back to bed Come back to bed

Justin emptied the last of the bottle into his glass and walked into the kitchen to throw the bottle away. He stopped short when he saw the mess on the floor on the other side of the island. There was glass everywhere. He couldn't believe himself. He'd actually thrown those. McKayla'd been standing so close. She could have been hit, she could have gotten cut by a flying piece of glass. She hadn't been wearing shoes, she could have stepped on something. He probably scared the hell out of her without even realizing it. He'd crossed the line.

He hit himself on the forehead.

Idiot.

But why was he the one feeling guilty? She was the one that lied, that broke a promise, that betrayed him. He didn't have anything to be all that sorry about. Did he?

Justin looked down at the glass in his hand and suddenly didn't feel like drinking anymore. He threw that glass and watched the shattered pieces land on top of the others.

You can be mad in the morning Or the afternoon instead Don't leave me 98 and 6 degrees of separation from you baby Come back to bed Come back to bed Come back to bed Why don't you come back to bed?

McKayla stepped into the lavish room and could feel the worried eyes on her back. Before any of them could speak McKayla raised a hand, but didn't turn back to look at them.

"I don't want to talk about it," she stated.

Then she picked up her bags and walked into the bedroom, closing and locking the door behind herself. She dropped the bags on the floor and walked over to the bed, sinking down into it. She wasn't sure exactly what to feel, that was the hard part. She was angry, angry with him for the things he'd said, the things he'd did. For putting her in that position. But she knew she was also a guilty part, and she was angry with herself as well. She felt the tears coming on again and she fell forward and curled her legs under neither her, crying quietly into the cream white comforter.

There was a soft knock on the door, followed by a soft voice calling her name. It was Shannon, she knew. But she wasn't going to answer the door. Nope. Tonight her name was Courtney, and unless someone came looking for Courtney, they weren't going to get an answer.

Don't hold your love over my head Don't hold your love over my head Don't hold your love over my head Don't hold your love over my head Don't hold your love over my head

Justin stepped into the closet, preparing to get changed for bed but he paused at the doorway. The room was ransacked. McKayla'd been careless in her haste to pack and now things were knocking over, drawers hanging out, clothes all over the floor. Justin sighed and turned back. He wasn't going in there. He didn't have the want or the energy to deal with that tonight.

He walked to the bed and look down to find the offensive object, sitting there before him. He picked up the container and started look open it, but he stopped himself. He didn't want to look. He didn't want to know how many were missing. He was better off not knowing right? Right. He threw the container and the trash can and put his hands on the bed, bracing himself. He felt like breaking down.

This was hard. This hurt. This was different from what he'd imagined it'd be. He crawled up onto the bed and laid on her pillow, inhaled the deep cranberry scent that lingered behind. Then he pulled the pillow to his chest and for the first time let himself let go. He let it all out, all the anger, frustration, pain. He let it vent into her pillow, because she wasn't there, and he knew that if she was, it'd only hurt her. And it'd only make him want to die having to say the things he wanted. So he just cried, he cried all night.

Don't hold your love....

We don't live in the land of Mother Goose, and we don't live in Pleasantville. Just like dreams, fantasies, wishes, and hopes, sometimes fairy tales don't come true.