Justin unlocked the Mercedes before climbing in and slamming the door behind himself. He sighed and ran his hands over his face. His head lolled to the side and he sat there starring at absolutely nothing at all. Mostly he didn't want to move because he felt like shit and when he felt like that he didn't want to do anything. He'd had a long talk with Dr. Masters and at the end of it he came back with one conclusion.

He was an asshole.

They'd talked at length about the thing Emerald had said, what she felt, what he felt, and he came to a realization: He didn't know her anymore. He didn't know his son anymore, didn't have the family he thought he had.

His cellphone rang and he jumped for it. He still hadn't talked to Emerald yet. He checked the caller ID and saw his own name so it had to be her. Who else could be calling from the house?

"Hello?"

"What up?"

Oh yeah, Joey was there watching the kids.

"Hey man."

I was just checkin to see when you were getting back. Kelly wants to take Bri over to see her mom."

As if on cue Brianna started talking in the backround. She was only 3 years old so her sentences weren't complete but it was cute all the same.

"Yeah, I'm leaving the hospital right now actually," he started the car.

"Really? Well, how'd it go?"

"Rough."

"Huh?"

"Things are bad for her, really bad."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It really fuckin sucks because I'm seeing all this shit I never saw before and now I can't do anything about it."

"Sure you can. Give her a hug and say your sorry."

Joey'd been in Brooklyn since Neveah was born, until a few days ago. He hadn't been around, he didn't know the story.

"I can't just hug her Joey. I'm not even sure I'm allowed to touch her anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"The last time we made love was right after she got pregnant with Neaveah. That was like 18 months ago," Justin's grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"Eager to let the horse outta the barn huh?" Joey joked.

Justin groaned and Joey muttered an apology.

"Having sex with her isn't the point..."

"Although it's a damn good reason."

"... Being close to her is. I'm not close to my wife anymore."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm an asshole."

"I'm sure it's not as big as you make it out to be. After bri was born Kelly and I fought too, we're great now."

"You didn't so what I did Joe. Your not like me, and you don't wanna be. Don't be like me."

~*~*~*~

Emerald sighed and tapped her nails on the coffee mug infront of her as she waited for JC to sit down next to her.

"So," he sighed, "What do you want? The bad news or the bad news?"

"Nice range of topics you got there Jayce."

He shrugged.

"The bad news number one I guess."

"I talked to Justin. He told me about these pills you had."

Emerald made a tssk noise and scratched her head.

"You know, he's really over reacting about all of this. I didn't do anything, I went to the doctor, he gave me some pills, I took them, simple as that."

"There were 3 bottles, all different doctors."

Emerald looked away and JC turned his stool so he was facing her.

"Em talk to me. Your a smart woman, you know what stuff like that can do to you. Why did you put yourself at risk like that?"

Emerald sighed and rubbed her arm as she looked anywhere but at him.

"I just... at first I thought it was stupid. I didn't have any depression thing I didn't need any medication, I needed to move out of my house. But I took them anyway and at first it didn't make a difference, then all of a sudden it was like this... calm washed over me. Justin didn't matter, Neveah didn't matter. It was like I was somewhere else. I was home, I was in that house, I saw them, but I-I couldn't feel them. I couldn't feel anything that they were doing to me. I couldn't feel anything at all and everything was bright and happy. And I needed that, I needed to have that and to hold onto that. So I got another bottle just incase I lost the other or ran out and wouldn't have to get another.

"But then that feeling started to fade alittle, and I couldn't take that. I couldn't bare to be back in that place again, so I started taking two. Then I thought, "Hell, if it feels this good with two, what would three be like?" But it really isn't that big of a deal, I didn't do anything wrong except try to medicate myself."

JC put a finger under her chin and forced her to look him in the eye.

"Em, I need to you be really honest with me right now. Do you need help with this?"

"I'm not a damn druggie JC," she pulled away from his hand, "I'm fine. I can leave them whenever I want to."

"Promise me you'll leave them alone."

"Jayce-."

"Promise me. No more."

Her shoulders slumped alittle.

"I promise."

"Good. I don't wanna have to toss your butt in rehab, and you know I would."

"You can't do that. You have to be a member of my immediate family. That means only my mother, Justin, or one of my children. My mother doesn't know--and if you tell her I'll kill you with my bare hands and make it look like an accident-- my children aren't old enough to do anything and Justin-."

"Will throw you in rehab himself."

"Shut up," she gave him a look, "So, what's bad news number 2?"

JC took a sip from his mug and looked at her.

"Last night."

Emerald slouched in her stool and spun away from him. He reached out and spun her right back.

"We have to tell him about that Emerald."

Her eyes became as large as saucers.

"What? No. No we don't," she stood in front of him.

"Yes we do. We did something really, seriously wrong and he has a right to know."

"What Justin doesn't know won't hurt him. We didn't do anything that serious, we stopped before anything could happen. It was a kiss, a simple kiss. Friends kiss."

"Not like that Em."

"Jayce, I'm begging you."

"I can't carry this around with me Emerald. Justin is one of my bestfriends. My bestfriend and I betrayed him I will never be able to forgive myself for that."

"Forgive yourself Jayce, it was a mistake, it happens. If anything it was all my fault, you did nothing wrong. But we can not tell him."

"Em-."

"Don't you think we have enough problesm without adding the fact that I cheated on him to it? JC please..."

Her eyes were begging him, there was no way he could refuse. She also had a point, would any good come out of Justin knowing?

"Alright. I guess your right, we shouldn't tell him."

Thank you!" she threw her arms around his shoulders, "Thank you thank you thank you."

~*~*~*~

After arriving home and thanking Joey for watching the kids, then sending he and Bri on their way, Justin pulled a chair from the dining room to the end of the foyer so he was near the door, but could still see Isaiah and Neveah in the family room. He smirked as he observed them. They played together as much as a 7 year old and a 6 month old could. Isaiah was explaining somethign about toy trucks and Neveah seemed to be enjoying it as she got up on her hands and knees and bounced around. Neveah was alot like her mother, Emerald had crawled at 6 months old and now their babygirl was trying it at that age.

Isaiah was more like him, strong, but still in need of some support. And stubborn as the day was long. Isaiah was his son and he left in the same way he left Emerald, that fact cut him to the core. All the years he spent fighting for him, only to turn around and voluntarily leave him. He was so busy trying to be Neveah's father. He'd missed Isaiah's first word, first step, first day of school, everything. But he wanted to be there for Neveah. He wanted every moment, to be in every picture. He wanted her to look back on her childhood and vividly remember her Daddy being there. Somewhere in the mist of that he got caught up. He had the best of intentions a heart, but it's usually those that do the most damage.

The door opened behind him and he turned to look. the sun shinning in blinding him, but he saw the outline of a woman stepping into the house. His assumption was confirmed when Isaiah went running towards her yelling 'mom'.

"Hi baby," he could hear the smile in her voice as she leaned down to hugged him.

The door closed and he got a good look at her, messy hair and shades. She was smiling till she caught sight of him as he stood, then her grin faded into a blank stare. He hated that his presence took all happiness out of her. He remembered when his son used to run to him.

Justin tuned out Emerald's singing and headed down the stairs. He had just removed a carton of eggs from the fridge and set them on the counter when he heard the heavy pounding of two little feet come down the stairs and around the corner. "Dad!" Isaiah launched himself at his father. Luckily Justin knew his son well enough to know his plan and turned around in time to catch the boy in midair. He adjusted the 7 year old in his arms and kissed his cheek. "Morning I." "Dad!" he sounded again, "I'm going with Uncle Chris to the movies."

Isaiah looked between them before running back to the family room with his sister. Justin took a few steps toward her, and she the same. But neither said a word, they just kept staring waiting for the other to speak.

"Well," she said finally, "I'm going to take a shower."

She turned away from him and slowly headed up the stairs. Justin looked at the space where she once stood, debating on whether or not to talk to her. What should he say? He knew one thing for sure, he needed to apologise. He needed to atleast try to make ammends. Before, when she'd been standing there, all he wanted to do was reach out to her. To put his arms around her and hug her and hold her. He hadn't done that in a long time. She looked like she needed a hug, and so did he.

Justin looked in on the kids, told Isaiah to hang out down there and keep an eye on his sister before he climbed the stairs after his wife. When he got there she was nowhere to be found, but the shower was running and a small amount of steam was beginning to drift from the cracked bathroom door. Suddenly it swings open and she steps out, wearing nothing but a towel. Her eyes glance at his face before looking down at her feet. She stands there a moment, pulling the towel tighter around her frame before stepping around him into the closet.

Justin sighed and smacked himself on the forhead.

"Say something you goof," he muttered.

Emerald reappears from the closet with her robe in hand and steps around him again to go back into the bathroom. Justin grabs her arm on the way by and she freezes infront of him, her eyes questioning him. He stared at her a moment, trying to find the right thing to say. When no words came to him he did the only thing he could thing of, the thing he really wanted to do. He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him. Her body stuggled against him but he only held her tighter and buryed his face in her hair. She stopped, her arms wrapping around him. She missed this, moments like these. She missed him touching her, her holding her, his cologne, the feeling of his breath on her skin. Part of her hated him and wanted to shove him away, curse him out, and then throw him out of the house. But every single part of her that was still in love with him was telling him to pull him closer, to hold him closer.

"I haven't held you in a long time," he whispered.

And then she started crying. Emerald didn't even know why, she just did it. Something deep inside needed to be released right then and there. Justin kissed her temple, then her cheek as he held onto her. His lips grazed her other cheek, then her nose as his hands rubbed her back softly. He got his first good look at her then, her smugged eyeliner, her tired red eyes, the lust for him that she was trying to fight off.

He kissed her lips softly, running his hand through her hair. When his lips pushing against hers with a hunger and a need she hadn't felt in a long time, she allowed the tiniest noise to excape her lips. She pulled him close, closer than close, so close that if they had been standing flesh to bare flesh their perspiration would have caused them to mold together. But she still felt like they were miles apart.

She pulled on his arms, scratching him gently, wanting him in a way she'd never felt before. He turned her on in a way that made her entire body tingle concupiscently, that made her forget all worry and problems and the consequences that came with loving him.

Her hands slid down his sides, over his ribcage. He flinched ever so slightly at the ticklish sensation. Her hands found the waist band of his jeans and she slid her hands into his back pockets for a moment before sliding her hands around and undoing the button on his pants. That's when he stopped her. Her hands were pulled away, his mouth left hers, and all amazing sensation she felt began to fade. Her towel was pulled away, and her hands held behind her back as he used his body to force her down on the bed. She laid before him in the vulnerable way she could think of, stripped in every sense of the word, and he stood at the end of the bed looking down at her. Damn he was sexy. The meer statement itself was an understatement when it came to him. He was just... God he was sexy.

Finally he knelt between her legs, running a hand down the middle of her body from her neck to the place she felt growing with frustration with every passing moment. She reached out for him. He took her hand, kissed her palm and set it down on the bed.

"Come here," she said.

He shook his head.

"No, no. You just lay there, looking sexy, and enjoy all the things I'm gonna do to you."

She smiled softly as he manuvered his body around hers, lifting her hips and moving her until she was exactly where he wanted her. Instantly she was overcome with the most amazing feeling. It was soft and fluttery at first but then grew stronger, forcing screams of passion to be emitted from her mouth. Soon her mind was such a cloud she could do little more than loose her fingers in his hair and hold onto him.

Just as she was about to reach the epitomy of erotic places, a rumble of nerves sounding deep in her tummy; once again all sensation stopped and she was left panting and unsatisfied. His face appeared, hovering above her. She realized then that he was just as vulnerable as she was. Every inch of his skin was pressing against her, melting into her. She felt his lips on hers, kissing her tenderly as they melded into one. Finally they were close, closer than close.

All she could do was wither underneithe him as he moved all around her. She was lost in a sea of soft blankets, feather pillows, and her husband. The nerve endings in her body were on fire. She didn't know how she was breathing, her brain was lost in a thick haze.

"I love you," he said, his body never missing a beat.

She heard him, but she was too far gone to respond.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing her neck, "I'm sorry baby."

The words only added to her torture. She wrapped her arms around his neck, she could feel the rumbling in her stomach again.

She hadn't even realized the noise level in her moaning has increaed until he shushed her gently. She nodded breathlessly, digging her nails into his back. Maybe she could find another way to express herself.

She was wrong. Moments later his lips were attacking hers to shush her again. When he pulled away his eyes were dark, deep with need. She was sure hers looked the same. Suddenly it all became too much, the passion, the emotion, the movement, the pleasure, it all overwhelmed her and she bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out. It was over too soon, the rush, the unintentional quivering, it was fading away as quickly as it had come. She was left as nothing. Nothing but a shivering pile of orgasmic energy.

And then she felt him again, his forehead leaning against her, his nose brushing across her cheek, his mouth as his tongue lightly traced her bottom lip.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Emerald breathed deep, for the first filling her lungs with air. She ran a hand down the side of Justin's body and back up again. She groaned a responce that he precieved to be a 'yes' and then sighed contently.

"Open your eyes."

Emerald did as told. His eyes were roaming her body from the torso up. Finally his orbs met hers.

"I meant it when I said I was sorry."

She nodded, though she wasn't so sure she believed him.

He searched her face a little longer trying to decide how to word his question.

"What do you want Em? What do you need from me?"

She looked down, her eyelids nearly closing.

"I don't know Justin. I just don't know."

"So what don't you get?" JC switched on his turn signal and looked in the rearveiw mirror.

"I don't understand how she could not know what she wants. I mean she's been mad at me for like 6 months, you'd think she'd know what she need to forgive me."

"Man, I think she's just confused. Alots going on, alots happened to her."

"Alot's happened to me too, my wife was hooked on pills, she could've divorced me-."

"You brought it on yourself."

"What?"

"Look man," JC glanced over at him, "Can I be straight with you?"

"Yeah."

"You brought it on yourself."

"You're always taking her side."

"I'm not taking anyone's side. I'm calling them like I see them. I saw that you always had a lady by yourself. I saw that after she had Neveah you no longer had a woman by yourside but a little girl. I saw that you weren't treating her, or Isaiah, the way you used to, and I saw that she was hurting and you didn't notice," he pulled into the WEG parking lot.

Justin sighed.

"I'll be glad when someone tells me I did atleast one thing right. So what do I do?"

"You gotta make sure she knows you love her. Actions speak louder than words. You gotta make her feel like she's most important. Talk to her more often and stop hanging around that kid of yours," Jc got out of the car.

"You can't spend to much time with a baby. You can't spoil one," Justi got out as well and met JC at the back of the car.

"True, you can't spoil a baby. But you can forget a son and you can ignore a woman. You worked hard to get your family Justin. Don't let it all fall apart now."

~*~*~*~*~

Emerald tucked her feet under her body as she watched the cars from the window. This had been her spot since they lived there. Whenever anything was plaguing her mind, she sat there and watched as others went on with their lives until she came to a conclusion about hers.

Justin wanted to know what she needed, but in all honesty she didn't know. It was never clear to her. What does one person need to not feel betrayed and abandonded? Maybe several apologies, alittle groveling? But that would have been so easy to say before, now things weren't so simple, not that they ever were. Before she wasn't at fault, before she did nothing wrong. But now she held a secret that would destroy any hope for them, a secret that would kill him. She wasn't the vitim anymore, she wasn't that innocent.