A/N: Thanks so much for all the wonderful suggestions! Ya'll rock!
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"Ma --."
"No, don't ma me, Justin. What are you doing?" He rolled his eyes impatiently. This had been the way their phone conversation had been going for the last half hour. She wouldn't listen to a thing he said, but yet insisted on him explaining everything. He loved his mother dearly, but sometimes she could be overbearing. "Michelle calls me ..screaming and crying. She told me she wanted a divorce, but she won't explain why. I call you and all you can give me is that you don't have time. Justin, i'm worried about you and Michelle. Just ..tell me." He could hear the desperation in her voice, hell he could feel it. He looked at his watch ..he was already 8 hours late in picking Hayden up, and if he didn't get this over with Kayla would probably kill him before he could even open his mouth.
"Fine! Okay, you want to know why Michelle wants nothing to do with me. I'll tell you. About 2 years ago ..Michelle and I were really bad off. Really bad. I did some things i'm definitely not proud of. So, because of that .." He stopped. There was no way of explaining this to his mother, to where he could actually look her in the face.
"Justin, baby, you can tell me anything. I'm your mother first. I'll judge you later." He slightly laughed at her comment. She was always trying to cheer him up. He had the best mother in the world. He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment.
"I cheated on her." He sighed. It was kind of relieving to be able to say it out loud. Which he hadn't done up until this point. "I ..have a son, ma." He didn't really know how she would react. So he prepared himself for anything. For the most part, his mother was very understanding. "Ma?" He called out to her after several minutes of nervewrecking silence.
"I have a grandbaby?"
"His name is Hayden." He confirmed.
"Justin ..I don't understand. How could you do this to Michelle?" He knew he was to blame, and didn't expect anything more. But ..hearing it come from his mother was a second tear to his heart. He could literally hear the stretching of his heart.
"I can't explain why. I wish I didn't have to, but you have to know I never meant to hurt Michelle." He switched the phone to his other hand, and wiped his hand on his pants leg.
"Justin, you're better than this. You're above cheating. After everything you've been through. You married Michelle that's the only woman you're to lay down with after that ring is on your finger. I just don't understand your motivation. I'm here for you, sweetie. But ...i'm so disappointed." It hurt. But ..he brung this apon himself. He was about to say something, but she continued on. "You can overcome cheating. Michelle loves you so much, and you know I don't believe in divorce unless it's the last strategy. You two love each other. It'll get better. But Justin you know that she is the one person among many more that don't deserve that from you or anyone else." He nodded though she couldn't see it.
"Ma, i'm sorry to cut this short. But i'm already late, I have to pick up Hayden. He's staying with me for the weekend." He stood to stretch before making his way to the phone charger so after he hung up he could get going.
"Maybe sometime you can bring him over. So, I can see him." No matter why or what happened, he was still her grandson.
"Of course, as soon as i'm sure that he's comfortable with me, you'll be the first person I take him to." He took a breath before saying. "If you talk to Michelle can you tell her I miss her?"
"I think she knows, Justin. But i'll tell her anyway. I love you."
He let a smile linger on his lips. "I love you too." He hung up with her grabbed his keys and headed out the door.
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8 hours, 15 minutes, and 35 seconds. 36, 37, 38 ..but really, who was counting? Definitely not Kayla Marie Crow. If she had known that he was going to stand Hayden up, she'd never agree to it. Of course, Hayden doesn't exactly know that he was stood up. But ..it was the fact of the matter. Justin couldn't be trusted.
"Sweetie, I don't think he's coming." Her little boy looked up at her from the spot on the floor where he was sitting. He smiled at her and continued playing with his toys. Of course, he didn't understand. She tried to explain the best way she could that he'd be spending the night with his father. He only giggled at her, and turned his attention elsewhere. She sighed, standing up to look out the window, which she had done several times. She could probably draw the mental picture of every car on the street. She was about to go fix dinner when she heard the doorbell ring. She jumped with giddyness. She calmed herself down, and opened the door. If her heart could swell anymore she'd probably have a heartattack.
"Kayla, I can't explain to you how sorry I am. My mom called ..it was, i'm sorry." She laughed at his anxiety.
"I'm surprised you actually showed up. I guess that's all that matters. Come in." She moved to the side, to let him in. His eyes went straight to Hayden.
"He's so .."
"Beautiful? I know, thanks." She finished for him. She was proud to have such a handsome son as Hayden. "But before you get all attached ..he's probably going to cry when ya'll leave. He hasn't spent the night over anyone else's house. Definitely not a complete .." She decided it was kind of harsh to finish that statement.
"A stranger? You can say it," He bent down to Hayden and played with his fingers. "That is what I am. It's my fault though." He stood back up, releasing Hayden's hand. Ignoring the fact that Hayden was trying to pry his hand away, anyway.
"Can't argue with you on that. Listen ..," She walked over to his overnight bag. "I packed everything. Pajamas, toothbrush, extra clothes, underwear. He has this special type of toothpaste." She took it out of the bag momentarily before throwing it back in. "His gums are really sensative, and this is the only kind he can use. So, please ..I don't want my son to come back with bruised gums, because you weren't paying ATTENTION." Justin's eyes went to hers, after staring down Hayden.
"Sensative gums, I get it." His eyes went back to Hayden. She sighed in frustration. She grabbed his hand and forced him to keep his attention on her.
"You will have him for three days, I think you can listen to me for a couple of seconds." She thought it was cute, and yeah she loved the heck out of it. But this was her son, and he needed to listen to her.
"You're right, but is it okay to leave him unattented like that?" She seen his eyes veering to the side. She scoffed at him.
"Justin, he's right there!" She pointed down to the floor. "He's two, I don't think he's planning any wild trips to hawaii just yet. I don't like him woke after 9 ..I normally keep my t.v on toon disney for him. He falls asleep faster to that. He is potty trained, so all you have to do is go to the bathroom with him. I have his sippy cup in there. The most thing i'm worried about," She bent down to pick up Hayden. Once in her arms she continued. "is that he's going to be miserable the whole time. Not because of you ..just because he's not with his mommy." Hayden gave her a sloppy kiss, and Justin couldn't help but to smile at the sight. If only he had brung a camera. But there would be plenty of time for that.
Kayla stood staring at Justin. She could not believe that he was stepping up, and being a father. She dreamt of this, and it was actually coming true. It was kind of like having the same ol' Justin back. Of course, without the feelings. Atleast on his part. She let Justin grab Hayden out of her arms. She watched as Hayden looked up at Justin, then back at her, before starting to pout. She knew that pout, soon after it he would start wailing. She walked closer to Justin, she placed her hand on Hayden's back rubbing up and down.
"Hayden, you're going to stay with Daddy for alittle while. I'll miss you." She gave him another kiss, before placing his overnight bag in Justin's hand. "Take him away." She closed her eyes and turned her head dramatically. Justin laughed.
"We'll see you sunday. Say goodbye to Mommy, Hayden." Justin took his hand and waved at her. He walked out of the apartment, waving at Kayla before exiting the building. Justin jogged to his car, he opened the back door. He placed the bag on the floor under the seat. And buckled Hayden in his carseat. He noticed that Hayden was pouting, and before he could say anything he started weeping.
"No, no, no ..don't cry. We're going to have fun, I promise." He said all that he could think of to get him to stop crying. "Want to see mommy?" Hayden immediately stopped crying. Justin nodded understanding before turning around and reaching in his pocket to retrieve his cellphone.
"Hello?"
"Kayla, it's Justin ..can you pack some clothes and come downstairs. I think Hayden wants you to stay the night." He tried not to sound disappointed, but he was. He wanted the weekend for just him and Hayden. But Hayden wasn't ready yet, and he had to be understanding until he was.
"Justin, I told you that he'd cry for alittle while. But he'll get use to it." Justin turned to look at a perked up Hayden. He could tell that he was intently listening to the phone call.
"I know ..but I don't want him to be uncomfortable. And right now he is with me. Come on ..Trace wil probably be over, and he misses you anyways." He could hear her brain debating over whether or not she should.
"Trace? Well, I do miss Little Man ..fine, i'll be down in five minutes." Justin placed his cell phone back into his pocket.
"Guess what, mommy's comin'!" Hayden laughed and clapped. Justin took his seat in the driver's side, he had the door open and his foot hanging out the side, while he played with the radio. He felt on top of his head for his sunglasses, letting them fall over his eyes.
Having Kayla spend the night probably wasn't the smartest idea. But they had a son together, and before everything happened, they were quite good friends. Kayla and Hayden had little to do with Michelle and him, but he figured if this all came out it'd have everything to do with them. Justin looked through the rearview mirror as Kayla appeared from her apartment door. She had her backpack on her shoulder, and her hair was in a messy ponytail. He turned his head to the side as she stepped in his car.
"Wait!" He yelled to her when she was about to slam his door. He reached over her to close her door for her. "I know how you like to slam a person's door off the hinges." He chuckled before sitting back in his seat. She gave him an odd look before sitting back in the seat more comfortably.
"I see you're still freakishly obsessed with your car." She commented once they were on the road.
"Obsessed?" He glanced at her. "I'm sorry, if i'd like to keep my doors on my car. You slam it so hard. It's like you're trying to break it." Justin looked through the rearview mirror at Hayden. He was playing with the little teddybear Justin gave to him. This was all new to him. Being a father, he could hardly handle being a husband. You see how well that turned out.
"Have you talked to Michelle?" Justin shook himself out of his trance. A melancholy look washing over his features at the mere mention of his wifes name.
"No ..at this point i'm sure she'd like nothing more than to forget that I exist," He let out a heavy sigh. "i'm not giving up on my marriage, though. I love Michelle. I loved what we had ..I can't go back and change what happened." He looked back at Hayden again before returning his eyes to the road. "But ..I wouldn't have. Hayden is adorable. And he's my son. I just wish I hadn't hurt so many people in the process." Kayla played with her fingers, looking down at her lap. She looked up to look at the side of Justin's face.
"I guess it's my fault. I could've left well enough alone. Part of me wishes that I had. I didn't do this to hurt you or your marriage. I could tell that Michelle really loves you." She watched Justin shrug. She couldn't see how he was feeling, because of his sunglasses. But she didn't need to, to know that he was heart-broken over his wife.
"You didn't do anything. In a way i'm glad Michelle did fine out, because I might've never had the motivation to see my son. And ..it would've definitely been my loss. I just can't ..live my life without her. Ya know? I loved what we had Kayla, but she's where my hearts at, you know? I had to choose ..and it was her in a heartbeat. I know that sounds bad. And i'm such an a ..hole," He stopped himself from cursing infront of Hayden. "but that's how it was." He was only being honest, but she could only feel a slight dispairing feeling at his words. He loved his wife, and she knew that. If she didn't know it before, she knew it when he ended it. And of course she knew he came back into her life only for Hayden. But part of her was hoping that some part of him came back for her, too.
"Kayla, did you hear me?"
"What?"
"Have ya'll eaten dinner yet?" Justin repeated.
"No, I was just about to fix dinner when you came."
"What does Hayden like? Mcdonalds? All kids like that don't they?" It occured to her that this really was his first time dealing with kids. It was sad that this was his son yet he didn't really know the first thing about him.
"Yeah, he loves the chicken mcnuggets." Justin nodded as he pulled up to the drive thru. He pulled down his window.
"Welcome to McDonalds, would you like to order?"
"Yeah, can I get a chicken mcnuggets happy meal. A number one and a number three." He turned to Kayla. "That is what you like, right?"
"You remember?"
"Well, you're picky. So, what DO you eat?" He laughed out.
"Um, excuse me?" The voice came back from the speaker.
"I'm sorry. That's all we want."
"Okay, that's gonna be $14.09. Come around to the first window." Justin drove around to the window.
"$14.09." The young looking cashier repeated to him. He looked through his wallet and fished out a 20 and handed it to her. Justin tapped nervously on the steering wheel.
"Justin," He looked over to see Kayla's dark green eyes. "I'm really proud of you for ..stepping up, ya know? I know you wanted to be there for Hayden, and i'm glad you actually are. It means ..so much to me."
"You're the only one that is at this point. But i'm going to do right this time. By everybody ..especially my son." He took the food, handed it to Kayla, and drove off. Justin pulled up to the front of his house.
"I just realize i've never been to your house." Kayla blurted out.
"I guess not." Justin shrugged, not knowing what else to say. Justin climbed out of the car and took Hayden out of his car seat. Once Hayden was settled in his arms, he started to cry.
"Hayden," Justin pouted at him. He bounced him up and down. "Please don't cry. Do you wanna walk?" Hayden reached his hands out towards his mother.
"I'll take him," Kayla walked up to him and took Hayden away from Justin. "You can get the food." She gave him a sympathetic look. She knew Hayden would get this way, but it would take time for him to adapt. Justin grabbed the food and shut the car door with his foot. He let Kayla walk ahead of him.
"It's unlocked." He told her. Kayla let them in, but stood in the doorway in awe. Justin cleared his throat.
"If you're just going to stand there could you move to the side so I can get in. I have soda and food in my hand." Kayla blushed from embarrassment. She scooted over so he could get in. "Could you get the door?" Justin asked while making his way to the kitchen. She closed the door like he requested.
"This is your daddy's house." Kayla said to Hayden when she noticed him looking around. She slowly made her way into the livingroom.
"We're goin' to have to eat on the floor. I don't have a high chair for Hayden yet. Do you mind?" Justin yelled from the kitchen.
"No, it's fine." She called back to him, sitting Hayden and herself down on the floor.. Justin walked in balancing three plates. He placed the plates in front of Kayla and Hayden before sitting down with them. He handed Hayden his sippy cup. She looked over at Hayden's plate and smiled when she noticed that Justin had cut up Hayden's chicken nuggets.
"This is nice." Justin said after moments of silence. Kayla nodded, but said nothing. "Kayla," He put down his burger. "Do you think that Hayden would call me daddy?"
"I don't know let's fine out. Hayden .." He stopped playing with his food long enough to look at her. "Say daddy," She pointed to Justin when she said "daddy". Hayden clapped his hands together.
"Mommy." Once he was bored with this conversation he went back with playing with his fries.
"He will eventually it takes time." She reached over to give him a reassuring pat on the leg.
"Maybe .." Justin was unconvinced and his feelings were hurt to say the least. The doorbell rang loudly in their ears. Before Justin could get up to answer it Trace's voice filled the house.
"Justin, I .." Trace found his way to the living room, almost falling over himself when he saw Kayla. "Kayla .."
"Hey, Little Man!" She could tell he was surprised. And who wouldn't be? They hadn't seen each other for 2 years, and now she was all up in Justin's house looking totally cozy on the floor eating McDonalds.
"Well .." It took him a moment to gather his thoughts. "Gimme a hug! It's been forever, Kay!" She jumped up and complied to his request. "Justin ..I need to talk to you ..in the kitchen." Justin follwed Trace into the kitchen.
"Dude!" He pulled Justin further into the kitchen where Kayla couldn't see. "Did you hit your head from the time that Michelle left you to now?" Justin rolled his eyes at his overdramatic state.
"No? I thought you liked Kayla."
"I love Kayla. She's a great girl. But I love Michelle more. She's your wife. What are you doing!?" Trace slammed his fist on the counter.
"Did you not notice the little boy sitting there, too? That's my son, Trace!"
"Yeah, I get that! But why does she have to be here, too? You must be really looking forward to those fucking divorce papers." Trace crossed his arms over his chest.
"Of course I don't want to get a divorce! But I need to see my son, too. And he wanted her to come. He was crying ..i'm not doing this to hurt Michelle. Which you talk like i'm trying to do. Trace, people tell me to grow up and when I try they have a problem with it!" He was getting frustrated. Did they want him to see his son? And so what if along with his son brings along Kayla.
"I just know how much you love Michelle. But i'm sorry for coming down on you, man. You're doing the right thing." They embraced in a friendly hug. "Can I stick around ..or?"
"When did you ever ask before?" Justin said going back into the living room.
"I think he's done eating." Kayla told Justin when she noticed they were back in the livingroom. It was pretty obvious since he was chucking chicken nuggets all over the floor.
"Okay, buddy!" Justin stopped him in mid throw. "How about I fix us all some icecream?" He took everybody's plate and threw the soggy chicken nuggets onto a plate. He heard Hayden say his mixed up verison of 'icecream.' He made his way back into the livingroom.
"Trace, pull up a floor." Trace took a seat next to Kayla. It was a bit awkward, being as they hadn't seen each other in quite some time. More so that it was hanging on Trace's chest that he knew all about Kayla, but Michelle didn't.
"So, Kayla," Trace reached out to pick up Hayden, as was delighted that he let Trace hold him. "it's been awhile."
"That it has. How have you been?"
"Engaged."
"Really?! You're obviously not the same Little Man who swore off commitment are you?"
"Guess not," He shrugged. "Hey Hayden, can you say my name?" Kayla shook her head.
"
He won't say Daddy, I don't think --." He put his finger up to silence her. She shrugged knowingly.
"Say Trace ..do you think you can? TRACE."
"TACE!" Trace and Kayla laughed.
"Aww! My baby said Trace!" She laughed again. She reached over to plant a loving kiss on his cheek.
"What are we laughing at?" Justin was heard coming into the livingroom trying to balance several bowls. Trace returned Hayden to his earlier position, then jumping up to help Justin.
"He only eats chocolate icecream."
"Great! That's the only thing I buy." She knew he got that from somewhere. She just couldn't remember Justin being so picky. Justin had told her once time that chocolate icecream was the only icecream that wasn't complicated by other ingredients. Just chocolate and a good ol' dose of milk. Not her words. His.
Justin retook his seat on the floor. "What were we laughing at?" He repeated his question.
"WE," Kayla motioned between Trace and herself. "were laughing at Hayden. He said Trace!"
"What?!" Justin nearly spat out his icecream. "He knows Trace just as much as he knows me. And he says his name!?"
"Justin ..Trace is probably easier for him to say, considering he never had a reason to say Daddy." She switched places with Trace so she could help Hayden with his icecream.
"I can do that!" He snatched Hayden's spoon away from her.
"Justin, don't get so upset. He'll say it eventually."
"Tace!" Hayden said with chocolate all over his mouth. He looked so adorable that Justin couldn't stay mad at him.
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