The meeting just ended and now Justin and I are in a studio listening to some songs that’ll be going on my album.
Justin insisted that he came today no matter how many times I would tell him that he should stay home. So after an hour and a half of boring conversations going through one ear and out the other, we finally decided the album would come out near the end of June. They can pick a date; I don’t really care just as long as it gets out.
As soon as we stepped out of the meeting, Justin wanted to hear some of the songs. I was uncertain, and still am, about the whole thing, but he wanted to hear them.
So here we are. He already heard ‘We Belong Together’ and took it pretty well.
I’ve limited him to two more songs to be heard. He pretty much knows most of these songs are about him, except for two of them that I wrote about my parents right after I found out the ‘situation’.
He picks out ‘Here With Me’ and says to me, “Hit the jams, baby!”
I let out a weak laugh.
This is great. He picks out one of the most personal songs I wrote about him after he ‘supposedly’ died.
I nervously hit the play button and hear the beginning notes of the song.
It’s been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror
I guess that I was blind, now my reflection’s getting clearer
Now that you’re gone, things will never be the same again
There’s not a minute that goes by every hour of every day
You’re such a part of me, but I just pulled away
Well I’m not the same girl you used to know
I wish I said the words I never showed
I know you had to go away I died just a little
And I feel that now you’re the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now here with me
Here with me
I slowly look at Justin as he pulls me into his lap. We sit there and continue to listen to the song.
You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true
But I was scared and left it all behind
I know you had to go away I died just a little
And I feel that now you’re the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now here with me
Here with me
And I’m asking, and I’m wanting you to come back to me please
I never will forget the look upon your face
How you turned away and left without a trace
But I understand that you did what you had to do
And I thank you
I know you had to go away I died just a little
And I feel that now you’re the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now here with me
Here with me, here with me
The song ends and we’re both quiet.
Justin pulls me into a tight hug and we stay there for ten minutes.
“Rachel, I need to know everything.”
“Okay.”
We head back to the house and I tell him everything that happened and how I felt during those two months of hell. I would end up crying every once in a while, but he would just hold me and tell me to go on.
When I was done, I felt free of those feelings. Justin was so supportive during the conversation. He felt this was his fault, but I insisted it wasn’t.
I think things might be finally normal again.
It’s about three in the afternoon and I’m stuck at a dance session. I’m supposed to be shooting my video in a couple days so my dancers and I need to get this dance down.
“People, take a five minute break! But be prepared to work harder! We need to have this dance together!” Wade shouts.
Everyone is grateful for a break. We’ve been at this dance since one and everyone’s already tired.
I hear ‘Like I Love You’ start to echo through the room, letting me know Justin’s calling so that way I don’t have to guess.
I head over to it as everyone goes “Ow, ow!” and make my face red as a tomato.
I think I need a new ring tone.
“I don’t want any girl scout cookies,” I tease. I always say that if I know who’s calling.
“Aw damn it! And I had the special minty kind for you, too!”
I begin to laugh, “To what honor do I owe of this unexpected call from a Mr. Justin Timberlake?”
“Well, I would like to know if Mrs. Rachel Timberlake would accompany me tonight to give Mrs. Britney Federline some company.”
“My answer is yes,” I say in a British accent. “I didn’t know she was in town, though.”
“Well neither did I until she called five minutes ago. She’s in town for a couple days to record something and Kevin’s at home.”
“Oh, I see. I can’t believe she flew out here pregnant, though.”
“Yeah, the doctors don’t appreciate it too much either, but it’s just for a few days.”
“Okay, so what time are we supposed to be there?”
“She said around 6.”
“Crap, I don’t get out of here till 6:30 so can I just meet you there?”
“Sure, just don’t be too late,” he teases.
“Yeah yeah yeah…well I gotta go. The ‘slave driver’ is putting us back to work.”
“Haha, alright. See you later, babe. Love you!”
“Right back at ya, bye!”
“Alright people! Let’s get back to work!” Wade shouts.
We all let out a groan as we prepare to dance for three more hours.
Justin rings the doorbell to Britney’s home. He’s still a little uncomfortable being around Britney, but he’s been better at seeing her now that he’s married to Rachel.
“Justin!” Britney exclaims and hugs him.
“Hey Brit, how are you?”
“I’ve been pretty good. Come on in!” Britney says as she lets Justin into her home.
“Where’s Rachel?” She asks.
“Oh, she’s at practice for her video. She’ll be here as soon as Wade is satisfied, which could take a while. We all know that if Wade had a choice, he’d never let us quit dancing!” Justin teases.
“Oh yeah, definitely. Sit down, do you want something to drink?”
“Eh not right now, thanks,” Justin says as he and Britney sit down at the kitchen table.
“So how have you been..with the accident and all?” Britney asks slowly.
“I’ve been okay. I was shocked and angry at first that I didn’t know what all happened, but otherwise I’ve been good.”
“That’s good. You know…you had me scared, J.”
Justin let out a weak laugh, “Yeah, you and everyone else. Sorry about that one.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. It wasn’t your fault.”
Britney leaned a bit over and Justin started to get worried.
“Brit, are you okay?”
“I can’t take this anymore, J.”
I arrive at Britney’s house and see that Justin is already here. I head towards the back of the house cause she always insists I come that way”that there is no need to ring the doorbell.
I quietly walk up the steps of the patio and as I look into the house, I stop right in my tracks frozen.
I rub my eyes to see if this is all just an illusion, but it’s not.
Justin and Britney are kissing.
So let’s rewind here for one second, shall we?
Remember when I said, “After that moment, I was beginning to feel something for Justin, but he was dating Britney Spears and she happened to be one of my good friends so I could never do that to her.”
Well you can just throw that quote away.
I quickly, yet quietly run down the stairs of the patio and head for my car.
Tears rush down my cheeks as I run. Why did I have to see that? How do I always walk in the right places at the wrong time?
Why was my husband kissing another woman, especially Britney?
It makes me wonder.
Well now I know how Mom feels.
I get into the car as it beings to rain. I quietly leave the driveway, not wanting anyone to know I was here, yet.
I get home and I begin to quickly pack two suitcases.
I have to get out of here. I can’t see him now. It hurts too much.
As soon as I finish packing, I leave a note for Him and I leave the house.
I don’t know where I’m going right now, just as long as I’m away from that house and Justin.
As I drive around Los Angeles, I continue to cry. Luckily, the windows are tinted and it’s raining so I don’t have to worry about paparazzi.
But as I’m driving, I continue to wonder why this happened.
I never thought Justin, my husband, would be the cheating type.
It seems my life just keeps getting worse as it goes on.
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Song credit: Here With Me--Michelle Branch
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