A/N: Hey guys sorry for the slow updates. School, dance, voice, blah. LOL! Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for your continued reviews!
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August 16, 2005
Los Angeles, CA
Teen Choice Awards
“And I see you’re looking very tropical tonight, Miss Kenzington!”
I laugh in response with the ET interviewer. I’m wearing a black tube top with white, printed palm trees, a white skirt, and white heels with tiny diamonds going across the straps, and a pink flower piece is in my curly, brown hair. “Well, I figured since the actual award is a surf board, I though I would dress a little tropical.”
“Well, you look very nice,” the woman gestures as I say a shy thank you. “Now, tonight you’re up for a few boards including Choice Music Female Artist. Especially with your number one album, This Is My Diary, how does that make you feel?”
“It feels great! I’m just happy to be doing music again. It’s been over a year, but it feels like forever!”
“I bet, and I’m sure your fans feel the same way! Now, you’re also up for Choice Female Hottie. How does that make your husband feel, knowing that many guys adore you around the world?” she teases.
“Oh my gosh,” I say laughing. “Let’s just say he gets jealous very easily. I mean, we’re married now and we completely trust each other. But you can’t hide the jealousy. And he’s nominated for Choice Male Hottie, so I’m sure I’ll get jealous when I hear all the girls screaming!”
“I’m sure you’ve heard of this already, but as you may know, the Backstreet Boys are also back, they’re here tonight, and doing excellent with their new CD, Never Gone. And NSYNC just released their new album two weeks ago. People are starting to say again that there’s a feud between the groups and they’re in competition and no one likes the other one. Do you have anything to say to this?”
How many times am I gonna hear that question?
“There’s nothing going on between the groups. They all get along real well and they hang out when they get a chance to. I mean, I know the Backstreet Boys, too, and they’re all just great guys. I just think people are desperate to start any rumor they can think of these days.”
“Okay, well thank you very much for stopping by and we wish you the best of luck tonight with your performance and we also hope to see you accept a board with your awesome outfit!”
“Thank you,” I smile and wave to the camera. I talk to the girl for a few more minutes and continue down the red carpet.
My assistant/best friend, Chelsea, taps me on the shoulder, “You have to be in there in 15.”
“Already? Jeez, what time is it?”
“4:17, but they want everyone in by 4:30 so they can get settled and get the show started.”
“Okay. Have you seen the guys?”
“Have I seen Justin? Yes, he and the rest of them are already inside,” she nudges.
“Shut up!” I blush and hit her on the shoulder.
“I don’t get paid enough.”
“Oh that’s funny,” I say sarcastically and laugh.
“Hey, Rachel!” I hear someone shout.
I look ahead of me to see Nick Carter waving at me.
“Hey there, Backstreet Boy!” I say and hug him. “How’s the tour going?”
“It’s awesome! Not as big of a crowd as we used to have, but still good! How about you, girl? I hear that new album’s at the top of the charts now! Not to mention in my CD collection!”
“Well, thank you, and I couldn’t be any happier right now. Where’s the other dwarfs?” I tease.
“Okay, first of all, there’s only five of us, not seven. Second of all, they headed inside-”
“I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation, but we really need you to head on in, please,” one of the people running the award show says.
“Oh, okay. Sorry..” I say as the man’s already gone.
“Yikes. These people need to chill out,” Nick says as we walk in the building.
“Seriously. But I guess I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t wanna be in their shoes right now.”
“This is true. And what else is true is that you look beautiful tonight.”
I hesitate, “Thanks, Nick. You don’t look too bad yourself.”
My mind goes to a flashback, “There is no way he doesn’t have a single feeling for you,” Justin says.
“Justin, where are you getting this from?! Nick does not like me that way!”
“Yes he does! I see him stare at you all the time!”
“Well, I better go sit with the guys,” Nick says as he walks away and points at me. “Hey, good luck tonight; I’ll be watching you!”
“Thanks, you too!” I say as I watch him walk away.
But I can’t help but wonder if Justin’s right.
“Thanks for deciding to join us, Rachel! It’s such a pleasure!” Chris jokes as I head over to them.
“Yeah, yeah…go grow a pineapple hair-do again,” I stick my tongue out as I sit down next to Justin.
He kisses me, “Where have you been?”
“Talking,” I smile.
“One of the things you do best.”
“Hey, I wouldn’t talk if I were you.”
“Ha ha ha. That was pathetic,” he teases.
“Shut it or I’ll go steal one of the surf boards backstage and hit you upside the head with it.”
“You would never steal something nor would you hurt me,” he states.
“Oh, you can never be too sure of things these days..” I say thinking back a few minutes ago.
I’ve always had hinted signals that maybe Nick might have hidden feelings towards me, but I always let it pass. Especially since I’m married now. Justin always gets jealous when any guy looks my way, but he seems to get more protective whenever Nick’s around. I’m not saying I agree with him, but I’m getting close.
“Hey,” Chelsea comes running towards me and kneels next to me in the isle. “I finally found out. When Hilary Duff’s performance is over, head on backstage.”
“I thought she was hosting.”
“She is, but that can’t keep her away from singing,” she says as she rolls her eyes.
“Hush,” I say not wanting anyone to hear.
“All right, well I’m gonna go sit on the other side of the row. Go get ‘em, chica,” she says as we pound fists.
Yeah, we’re dorks like that.
“See ya,” I say as the announcer tells us that the show will be starting in one minute.
A few seconds later, people start to scream as Fall Out Boy starts off the show performing ‘Sugar We’re Going Down’, the usual video of who’s presenting or performing, and Rob Schneider (along with Hilary Duff) comes out.
It’s about an hour into the show and NSYNC’s already won the award for Choice Music Band/Group. I haven’t won anything yet, but I could care less. I don’t get my hopes up to win an award…unless it’s the Grammy’s. I’m just happy to be here and to be nominated.
Rob Schneider comes out and introduces Hilary Duff.
“Dude, she’s lip-synching,” Justin says quietly.
“No kidding..” I whisper back.
Nevertheless, I still clap for her, cause Lord knows I’ll find a way to screw up my performance. The show goes to commercial break and that’s my cue to leave and get ready.
“Bye,” I kiss Justin on the cheek as I leave.
“Good luck; I’ll be watching you right here in front row,” he smirks.
“Thanks for making me feel so much better,” I groan as I head backstage.
“Five minutes till you’re on, Rachel!”
I make sure I have everything I need and head towards the performing area. I start to get nervous as I reach my band and my backup singers. I’m performing a new song that no one’s ever heard before that’s not included on my CD. I am planning to release it as my next single though. Even Justin doesn’t know about this song. We pray and quietly walk onto the dark side of the stage and to my luck, I’m performing right in front of my husband, the guys, and my best friend.
Great.
“You’ll do fine,” my guitarist, Adam says encouragingly as we hear clapping start for Ludacris to come out and introduce me.
“Wud up, everyone? Aight, this next performer just released her new album with selling over three million copies already. She’s got a beautiful voice and damn, she is fine!”
I blush as I hear laughter and even look to see Justin laughing. I’m gonna get Luda later.
“So ya’ll better get ready for this. Here she is, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Rachel Kenzington!”
The screaming gets louder as the lights dim just a tiny bit to see my shadow while ‘Confessions of a Broken Heart’ begins to play.
“I’ll wait for the postman to bring me a letter
And I’ll wait for the good Lord to make me feel better
And I carry the weight of the world of my shoulders
Family in crisis that only grows older
Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go?
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken, but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me’s dying
And these are, these are the confessions of a broken heart.”
I pause just for a second to look at Justin to see his smile that always gives me the comfort to go on.
“I love you, I love you
I love you, I…I love you
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don’t know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?
Did you ever love me?
These are…the confessions of a broken heart.”
The music changes as a new song appears and everyone in the audience gets a confused and shocked look.
I take a deep breath and begin to sing the song.
“Everybody’s talking, but they don’t say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes, but I don’t want the sympathy
It’s cool you didn’t want me, sometimes you can’t go back
But why’d you have to go and make a mess like that?
Well I just have to say before I let go
Have you ever been low? Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out, were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold, cause what you did was low.”
I look at the row with the ones I love and they all know what I’m talking about. It’s my feelings toward being left out when Justin was supposed to be dead.
“No I don’t need your number, there’s nothing left to say
Except I never thought it’d hurt this much to be sane
My friends are outside waiting, I’ve gotta go
Have you ever been low? Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out, were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold, cause what you did was low
What you did was low.. .”
The crowd keeps cheering for me as I continue the song.
“I walk out of this darkness with no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience; we both know that you can’t say that
Here’s to show for all the time I loved you so..
Have you ever been low? Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out, were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold, cause what you did was low?
Have you ever been low? Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
Cause what you did was low.”
The song ends as I see the front row stand up and applaud for me as the screaming gets louder. A smile appears on my face and I turn back to my band to applaud them for a job well done as we head off the stage.
But I know I’m not getting out of this easy.
I get back into my award outfit and head back to my seat. I feel like I might get sick though due to how nervous I am of what they’ll say.
‘So that’s how you really felt, huh? You hate us all for the mistake we made!’
God, I hope that’s not how it turns out.
I hear the guys shout and do their own applause for me as I sit down.
“That was awesome,” Justin says as he embraces me and kisses me.
I sit back, “Really?”
“Dude, so many people were shocked. Nobody’s ever heard you sing something like that before. That’s how good it was!” Joey says.
“Thanks guys,” I say happily.
The award show continues and I end up winning Choice Music Female Artist along with Choice Female Hottie. Chad Michael Murray ended up taking Choice Male Hottie, which is a shame cause then husband and wife could have gone up together. But I can’t say Chad’s not cute.
Although when I accepted my award, I did see Nick shout and Justin stare back.
Sigh. This could make the battle of the band feud start.
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Song credits: Confessions of a Broken Heart--Lindsay Lohan
Low--Kelly Clarkson
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