“Love soft as an easy chair. Love fresh as the morning air. One love that is shared by two, I have found with you,” Cassidy sang, pacing around her room. It was the day of the festival, and she was warming up for her first real performance in public. Sure, she had sung class, at school holiday concerts, and family parties, but this, this was a bigger deal.
The clock read 3:28, she was on at 5. She was so nervous she actually thought about backing out, but then Justin came to mind. She couldn’t let him down; he was counting on her to be there. She decided to change into her performance outfit, a rose red frilly dress that Simone had bought her and put on some white stockings. After getting dressed, she looked into the mirror and realized she still needed to do her hair and make-up, so she called for her grandmother.
“Gramma! Can you please come and help me get ready?” She yelled through the house. Within seconds, Simone showed up with a make up kit and a curling iron.
“Hey, today’s your big day!” she said, walking in as Cassidy sat on a stool in front the mirror, “how are you feeling?”
“Scared and nervous,” she sighed, “Oh, Gramma, I don’t think I can do this anymore. I want to quit.” Simone stood up behind her and looked at her granddaughter through the mirror.
“What? Honey, you can’t quit. Quitting never gets you anywhere in life, especially when you want to achieve your dreams. And I know that you love to sing, what good would it do if you quit now? Sure you feel nervous, but you’ll do fine, you just need to trust in yourself,” she said, placing her hands on Cassidy’s shoulders.
“I just, I don’t know… I feel butterflies in my stomach; I’m scared I’ll mess up.”
“Sweetheart, you won’t mess up. Trust yourself! But if you do, so what? No one is perfect; sometimes you just have to take risks in life. Life is too short to back out and hide the world from the real you. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes sometimes.”
Cassidy knew what her grandmother was right. “Okay, I’ll… I’ll do it. Thanks Gramma,” she said, hugging her.
“That’s what I want to hear. So where’s Justin?” she said, as she began to wrap tresses of Cassidy’s hair around the hot iron.
“He’s at his house. He said that he was going to pick me up around 4:15, and Mama Lynne was going to help us get ready at the festival. Everyone’s coming to watch us perform right?”
“Yup. Your dad, your mom, Darrin, Lynne, Sadie, Trace, Shelley, Rachel, and me, plus everyone else from town that’s going tonight.”
“Papa Randy won’t be there?”
“Lynne didn’t say anything, so I’m not sure. Why?”
“Well, because I know that this festival is a big deal to Justin and he wants his dad there. But, Papa Randy would come from Justin, right?”
“Why we wouldn’t he be there?” Simone asked, working on some of the last few sections.
“You mean, you don’t know?”
Simone shook her head.
“Umm… well… that night Justin and I got into a fight; he climbed through my window that night and told me what was making him so mad.” Cassidy didn’t realize until she saw Simone’s reaction that she had told her about Justin sneaking into her room.
“Wait, he what?”
“He climbed through my window.” Cassidy mumbled.
“Cassidy-Rae!”
“I’m sorry Gramma, but he really needed to talk to me. He was crying, what could I do?”
“Crying? Sweetheart, what happened to Justin?”
“He told me that Mama Lynne and Papa Randy keep on fighting, and that he is scared they’re going to get divorced.”
“Divorced! Lynne and Randy? No way.”
“Yes way, Gramma. Justin is scared he’s gonna lose his family.”
“Cassidy, he won’t lose his family. But it will hurt, if, God forbid, they decide to get a divorce. A divorce is very difficult to deal with. You go through all these mixed feelings, and then your life changes because your parents don’t live together anymore. It’s like death, when life is over, you have to start fresh.”
“But if you’re dead, how can you start over?”
“Angels, baby. Remember what I told you about Heaven? The angels don’t just stay up there and watch after us, they actually live in Heaven, at peace.” She said, curling the last strand of hair, then reached for a hair clip. “Cassidy, all you can do for Justin is be there for him and help him through his fear. Tell him that you care about him and no matter what you always will.”
“I will. Thank you Gramma. But please don’t say anything to anyone.”
“I won’t, don’t worry.” Simone said, motioning her hand over her mouth as if she were zipping it up. “Okay, I’m almost done with your hair.” She took the upper half of Cassidy’s honey colored hair and pinned it up with a clip, letting a few strands fall in front of her face, making sure the curls were perfectly in place.
Simone grabbed a few brush, and the make-up kit sitting on the dresser. She lightly swirled a thick brush in some tan colored powder and applied it to Cassidy’s face. Then, she took some light red lipstick and ran it over Cassidy’s lips. Next, she curled Cassidy’s eyelashes, and applied lightly some mascara.
“Alright, all done. How do you like it?” Simone asked, as Cassidy looked at herself in the mirror.
“I love it! Thank you Gramma!” she said hugging her.
“Alright, now how about you put on your shoes, Justin should be coming any minute now. I’m going to be in the kitchen if you need me.”
“Okay,” she said, walking to her closet, pulling out a box. She opened it and put on her brand new shiny black strappy shoes. Seeing there was enough time left to practice, she rehearsed all three songs, and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and put her hands together before whispering, “God, please help me sing tonight. Please make sure that Justin and I are safe and do well. Thank You.”
“Hey Cass, Justin is here.” Darrin said peeking in the door.
“Alright, I’ll be out in a second.” She looked at herself one last time, before grabbing her white woolen jacket and headed out the front door with Justin.
“Justin, honey, you’re on in fifteen minutes.” Lynne said, straightening out Justin’s dark blue collared shirt.
“Alright mom, I’ll go find you in a few minutes. I just need to talk to Cassidy for a little bit.”
“Okay, I’ll be backstage if you need me.”
Justin nodded at her, than made his way around the festival to search for Cassidy. Walking around, he could smell the smell of cotton candy and caramel apples, the loud noises coming from the games and booths around him, feel the autumn leaves crinkling beneath his feet. He was excited because Halloween was only a week away. He found Cassidy standing underneath a small gazebo, pacing around with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Hey Cass, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing here?” he said when he approached her.
“I was just thinking and trying to remember how each song goes. Aren’t you gonna be on pretty soon?”
“Yeah, in a few minutes. But I came here to find you, cuz well… I just needed a hug from you.”
“You came all the way to find me for a hug?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you crazy? We gotta get to the stage c’mon!” she said, pulling him with her.
“But what about-”
“I’ll give you your hug later, I promise. But right now you have to perform!”
She pulled him harder, making sure he wouldn’t be late. She really thought he was crazy, he might miss his first big performance over what, a hug?
“Baby! Where were you?” Lynne said, panicking Justin wasn’t anywhere in sight a few minutes ago.
“Sorry mom. I went to look for Cassidy.”
“Well, c’mon, c’mon! You’re on in three minutes!”
“Okay mom, I’ll be on stage soon,” he said, than turned to Cassidy, “Okay Cass, here it goes. Wish me luck.”
“Good luck, Justin,” she said hugging him tightly.
He picked up a microphone from a nearby table, and made his way to the stage. He turned one last time to look at Cassidy, and smiled. The stage manager, Clara, spotted him and led him to where he was to be before coming out onto the stage.
Justin took a small peek around the corner of the wall he was hiding behind. The stage was small and white, with the band and their equipment along the back; there were two large speakers on each end of the stage, a microphone stand in the front and center, currently someone was there thanking everyone for coming to the festival and that it was time to just relax and enjoy some music. Justin was surprised by how many people were there, and hoped that neither he nor Cassidy would freak out when it was time to start singing. His eyes scanned the faces of people, trying to find his dad.
“Please dad, please show up,” he said to himself. Then Justin heard the announcer introduce him and the audience clapping. He felt the butterflies in his stomach multiply as he stepped out onto the stage. The band began to play the first few beats of “I Just Called to Say I Love You” as he moved the microphone stand out of the way.
He gripped the microphone with much force, fearing that it would slip out of his hands because of all the perspiration forming on his palms. He looked out onto the audience and gulped hard. He took a deep breath and let the words out.
“No New Year's Day to celebrate. No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away. No first of spring, no song to sing, in fact here's just another ordinary day.” He saw Lynne on the far side of the audience, giving him the thumbs up. He relaxed and put in more enthusiasm into his performance. “But what it is, is something true, made up of these three words that I must say to you. I just called to say I love you; I just called to say how much I care. I just called to say I love you and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.” Justin finally saw his dad in the first row, and he was greatly relieved. He tapped his foot and made hand gestures. When he finally finished the first song, the audience applauded and he introduced the next song.
“My cherie amour, lovely as a summer day. My cherie amour, distant as the milky way. My cherie amour, pretty little one that I adore. You're the only girl my heart beats for. How I wish that you were mine.” he sang, looking at Cassidy who was singing along with him. “My cherie amour, won't you tell me how could you ignore that behind that little smile I wore, how I wish that you were mine.” She then smiled at him, and disappeared backstage, to get ready for her performance. When he was finished the audience cheered as he nodded and smiled. He hurriedly walked backstage to talk to Cassidy before she went on.
The announcer came out and said into the microphone, “A big round of applause for Justin Timberlake everyone. Pretty outstanding for a seven year old, don’t ya’ll think?” Justin heard him say from backstage. Luckily, Justin caught up with Cassidy, who was side stage talking with Clara who was wishing her luck.
“Cass!” he said, running to her.
“Justin, you were so great up there, I’m so happy for you!” she said, hugging him.
“Thanks Cass. Look, once you get up there, you’ll forget about everything you’re scared of. Trust me, okay? Just go out there and do great. I’ll be watching.” He said, giving her arm a little squeeze. She nodded, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes as she heard her name. “Alright Cass, go get ‘em!” Justin said, patting her back.
She looked out into the audience and saw Simone and Darrin with Joyce and Jim who was filming. They waved at her, and she smiled. The band began to play and she started to sing, “Love soft as an easy chair, love fresh as the morning air. One love that is shared by two I have found with you.” She pointed to the audience and swayed with the music. She saw Rachel holding a teddy bear and Shelley with three balloons, and was relieved when she saw that Randy had shown up.
She continued to sing, until the end of the song, “Time we’ve learned to sail above. Time won’t change the meaning of one love, ageless and ever evergreen.” The audience applauded and she introduced her next song. She noticed the confused looked on people’s faces when they discovered she was singing a Whiteney Houston song. Everything was dead silent except for her voice, and the music.
“I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier,” she sang, hitting every note, “Everybody searching for a hero. People need someone to look up to. I never found anyone to fulfill my needs. A lonely place to be, so I learned to depend on me.”
She took a deep breath as her voice boomed through the whole festival, “I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I live as I believe. No matter what they take from me they can't take away my dignity.”
When she opened her eyes, she saw Justin on the side of the stage cheering and clapping along with the audience. She finished the song up and the audience clapped, greatly impressed by her unexpected talent.
“Thank you,” she said, curtseying, “I would like to now bring back my good friend, Justin Timberlake, for a song that we are going to do together. It’s by Michael Jackson, and it’s called ‘The Way You Make Me Feel.’”
Justin came out again, smiling at Cassidy as if to say “Let’s do this, Cass”. The drummer sounded off and the band began to play the funky beat in the beginning of the song. Neither Justin nor Cassidy could help but swing and sway, tap and snap along with the song.
“Hey pretty baby with the high heels on, you give me fever like I’ve never ever known. You’re just a product of loveliness; I like the groove of your walk, your talk, your dress." he sang, dancing. "Just kiss me baby and tell me twice that you’re the one for me. The way you make me feel. You really turn me on. You knock me off of my feet. My lonely days are gone.”
Cassidy was really feeling the song and sang with attitude, “I like the feeling you’re giving me, just hold me baby and I’m in ecstasy. Oh I'll be workin' from nine to five to buy you things to keep you by my side. I never felt so in love before. Just promise baby, you'll love me forevermore. I swear I'm keepin' you satisfied 'cause you're the one for me.”
“C’mon ya’ll!” Justin added, clapping. The audience dance and sung along as Cassidy came in with the second chorus.
“The way you make me feel. You really turn me on. You knock me off of my feet. My lonely days are gone.” She sang, moving her body and slapping her thigh.
When the duet was over, there cheers and whistling and a roar of applause coming from every direction. Cassidy reached for Justin’s hand as they took a bow. Cassidy blew a kiss as Justin waved and said thank you.
Once they were finally backstage, Justin hugged Cassidy tightly and said, “We did it Cass! We did so good! You did so good!”
“Oh my God, Justin! I can’t believe we just performed in front of all those people!”
“Hey, you kids were great!” Clara said, greeting them, “If ya’ll ever wanna come back and perform again, just let us know. We’ll be happy to have you again.”
“Thank you ma’am,” they said together.
“Oh and I almost forgot,” she picked up two shiny object off the table behind her, “here are trophies that we are giving every performer today, as a sign of our appreciation.” They thanked her again, feeling special they had a trophy, even if it was only for participation. “Well, thank you for coming. I hope you both enjoy the festival. Have a great day!” she said, walking away.
“Justin, Cassidy!” Suddenly they heard high pitched voices calling their names. It was their mothers.
“Hey mom!”
“Hey Mama!”
“Justin, honey you did so great!” Lynne said, pulling him into her arms.
“Cassidy you were outstanding!” Joyce said, handing her a bouquet of flowers, “These are from all of us to you.”
“Thanks mom! Where is everybody?”
“They’re still out front. They are all really excited to see you both!”
“Justin, I’m so proud of you. I hope you know that.”
“I know mom, thanks.” He said smiling, “is it alright if we stay at the festival a little bit longer? I wanna hang out with Trace.”
“Sure hun, but tonight, we’re all going out to celebrate okay? You, me, and Daddy.”
Justin couldn’t believe it, just the three of them together, spending time like a family again.
“Alright, how about we all go out and meet up with everyone?” Joyce said, putting an arm around her daughter.
“There are our two super stars!” Jim said, waving.
“Ohh, Cassidy, I’m so proud of you! Do you know how good you both were up there?” Simone said, hugging her and kissing her cheek.
“Hey Monster Truck, nice job. You too Justin.” Darrin said.
“Hey Justin, you did good up there. I saw some girls looking at you,” Trace said, teasing.
“Cassidy, Justin! Oh my God you guys were amazing!” Rachel said, handing Cassidy a teddy bear.
“Really! I couldn’t help but sing along! It was so cool!” Shelley said, handing Justin the balloons.
Randy joined the group and lifted Justin, “Hey son! You did a wonderful job today! I am really proud of you, Jus.”
“Thanks dad! I’m glad you showed up.”
“Of course, little man. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Alright, who’s ready to go play some games, my treat?” Randy said. And with that, the group walked away from the stage, ready and anxious to enjoy the rest of this joyous day.
Later that night, Cassidy was in her room, admiring the trophy that she received.
“I wonder what it’s like to actually earn one of these,” she said, daydreaming, “maybe one day I’ll win a Grammy. That’d be so cool.” She sighed. ‘Who am I kidding?’ she thought. ‘No one from Memphis became famous.’ Well, except for Elvis Presley but that’s because he had so much talent and drive to do what he did.' Sure, Cassidy had motivation and passion for performing, but what were the chances of making it big for a small southern girl like herself?
There was a knock at the doo, it was Simone. She sat down on the bed next to Cassidy.
“You know Cass, I’m really proud of you. I just wanted to let you know that when I saw you up there on stage today, I felt like screaming out to everyone ‘That’s my granddaughter!’ Thank goodness your mother was there to stop me though,” she said, causing Cassidy to laugh. “But Cass, can I ask you a few things?” she asked, her tone becoming serious.
“Sure, Gramma.”
“What did you feel when you were singing?”
It took Cassidy a few moments to respond. She didn’t understand why her grandmother was asking her this.
“I felt… I felt comfortable. I felt happy. I felt… I felt like I wanted to be there forever, even if no one would listen to me. I felt free,” she said.
“Free? What do you mean by that?”
She found it hard to put into words and explain, but somehow she could somewhat do so, “I felt like I was escaping the world. I felt like I was flying, you know how the birds are free when they fly? Like that. I felt really good because I like to sing and I was having a lot of fun.”
Simone was quiet for a moment, than smiled, “So is that why you weren’t scared anymore?”
“I think so. All my butterflies went away when I walked onto the stage,” she paused, than gave her grandmother a questioning look, “Gramma, why are you asking me this?”
“Because Cassidy, I think that you have something here,” when Cassidy didn’t say anything, she continued, “I think that you can take this talent that you have and make something out of it. Something big. Do you understand Cassidy? It’s like when people find something they like doing and are good at, they make it their career.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to follow your dreams.”
“But Gramma I don’t know what my dream is.”
“Maybe you don’t. But I can see it in your eyes. You want this Cass, and I believe that if God has given you as a great a gift as He has given you, that means something. And when the time comes for you to live your moment, take it and never let it go.”
“Okay, Gramma.”
“Now, here. I have something for you,” Simone said, pulling something out of her long grey jacket and handing it into Cassidy’s small hands.
Cassidy looked down into her palms and looked at the object. It appeared to be some sort of booklet; it was fairly sized, with ivory colored fabric covering the outside, there were tiny bright blue flowers with white centers stitched onto the cover, with long, green, flowing stems running all the way to the bottom. In the top left and corner, there was an angel with golden hair, dressed in white, floating among the bright stars, looking down.
“It’s a diary.” Simone stated, simply, “I stitched the cover myself.”
“Wow, it’s beautiful, Gramma.”
“Open it, I wrote something in there. I know you won’t understand until your older but ohh well.”
Cassidy opened the diary and discovered a message was written on the inside cover that read: “My dearest Cassidy, I give you this diary in hopes that you will someday put it to use. Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and in time you will discover hardships and good times, happiness and pain, love and heartbreak, among so many other things. However, I happen to hold the belief that you will be at a great place in life, regardless of the obstacles that life will throw your way. At times, when you feel you have no one to confide in, you will always have this diary to write your deepest thoughts and feelings in. Remember this always, whenever you feel lost, and I won’t physically be there to guide and help you anymore, look to the stars, for I will be in Heaven, watching down and protecting you. I will always be your guardian angel. I wish you the best in life, and I love you deeply. Take care, Gramma.”
“Thank you Gramma, I love it!” Cassidy said, wrapping her arms tightly around Simone.
“You’re very welcome dear,” Simone said, glad that Cassidy was happy with her gift. “Alright, I’ll be going to be now. It’s been a long day. I’ll see you in the morning.” She kissed Cassidy on the forehead and walked out.
Cassidy took another moment to appreciate her new gift, and set it on her dresser. It wasn’t long until someone entered her room again.
“Hey, Cass!”
“Hey, Justin. How was dinner?”
“God, it was so much fun!” he said, standing up.
Laughing at him, she wanted to hear how it went, “So what happened? Everything is fine now?”
“Well first my dad took me and my mom out to dinner. And we were talking and laughing again like we used to. Then he took us out for ice cream, and they actually kissed! Gosh, Cass, it was so great!” he said, using his hands to emphasize his words.
Cassidy smiled, liking the feeling of seeing her best friend happy again. “That’s really great, Justin. I’m happy for you.”
Justin smiled back, and sighed, “So, how do you think we did?”
“You mean the performance?”
“Yeah, it was cool, don’t you think?”
“Yeah. I had a lot of fun.” She said, plainly.
“Cass, what’s wrong? You don’t seem too excited.”
Cassidy wasn’t really sure what was bugging her. She wasn’t sad, nor was she happy. Maybe it was what her grandmother had said to her that got her thinking of the future. She was thinking of if she did make it big, would Justin still be there? And what exactly did Simone mean by not physically being there anymore? Everything was confusing her.
“It’s not that. I guess I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Oh, well, I’ll leave in a little bit okay?” he said, his eye catching a rectangular object on her dresser. He picked it up and asked, “What’s this?”
“Oh, Gramma gave that to me. It’s a diary. She wants me to write in it about stuff.”
“Oh, that’s cool. Are you gonna write in it?” he asked, opening it.
“I probably will when something really hurtful or exciting happens to me.”
“Would you let me read it?”
Cassidy thought about this for a moment. Sure she wanted her best friend to know what she felt and thought but there was no need for him to read her diary to figure that out. She never hid anything from Justin, and vise versa. But this time, she felt that maybe this one little thing could be kept to herself. Plus, who knows, maybe she would write some things in it about him, things she wouldn’t want him to know.
“Actually… I was thinking of maybe you know, keeping it to myself.” She said, quietly. She glanced at him, and saw disappointment in his eyes.
“It’s okay.” He really enjoyed being the one Cassidy confided in for anything. He didn’t understand why she wouldn’t allow him to read her diary. “It’s just a diary.” He studied the cover for a little, and noticed the golden-haired angel. She looked just like the ones he and Cassidy would discuss with each other. He ran his fingers over the soft ivory material that reminded him of a certain white dress his mother would wear to church. He looked at the little blue flowers, which to him, looked like some of the flowers at the bridge, the same one where he kissed Cassidy so many years ago. Remembering that event made Justin blush, and he set the diary back down.
“Are you okay?”
Clearing his throat, he responded, “Uhh… yeah. So anyways, Halloween is coming up. We’re going together trick-or-treating together, right?”
“Yup. Darrin, Trace, Rachel, and Shelley will be there too.”
“Cool. So what are you gonna be?”
“It’s a secret.” She said.
“Fine, fine, I’ll wait. Alright, we’ll I’ll be going now. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay, tell Mama Lynne and Papa Randy I said hello.”
“I will,” he said, hugging her, “Goodnight, Cass.”
“Goodnight, Justin.”
He held onto her for a few more seconds, and let go. When he reached the door, he looked back at her one more time, realizing how pretty she truly was, even when she was sleepy. The thought of kissing her came back to him again, and with that he quietly shut the door.
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