ALMOST LOST
Chapter 9
After that initial date, Justin and Ebony went out a few more times before becoming an official couple. While they were dating their careers also started taking shape. Ms. Sanchez did as she promised and Ebony found herself at a meeting with the head of JIVE. She gave him some of her lyrics and he loved him and she signed a contract that made her an official JIVE songwriter.
Ebony wasn’t the only one who signed a contract for JIVE. JIVE offered Justin a solo contract but he didn’t want to be in the spotlight alone so he told the execs that he had some friends that could sing and wanted to be in a group with them. At first JIVE was hesitant because they haven’t heard the group sing but when Justin got the guys (Josh, Lance, Chris, and Joey) together and sung for the execs they immediately agreed with Justin and *NSYNC was born. While the guys were in the studio Ebony was busy writing songs for different artists.
In the beginning, the execs had her write for up and coming artist to get her stuff out there and make sure that the public liked her style of writing. When she became a popular demand she got to work with more established artists. While she was doing her things the guys were busy working on their album called, ‘No Strings Attached’. A little before their CD came out, they took their single, ‘Bye Bye Bye’, to the radio stations to see how the public liked it. As soon as it came out it was a big demand. People all over were trying to find out who the guys were and what they were really like. That earned them a call from TRL.
Since they were about to make their video they told MTV that they would make their video on their new show, ‘Making The Video’. That special made their name and faces very public, Justin being the main one that the girls wanted. *NSYNC became a household name, which meant trouble for Justin and Ebony’s relationship.
Britney happened to be recording her new album and ran into Ebony. Britney had her ‘I told you so’ face on when they talked about Ebony’s relationship with Justin but they soon changed the subject to something that had been on Ebony’s mind for a while. They started talking about how fame changes your life and how people handle it. Britney told Ebony how a lot of guys would come and ask her to marry her and how there were a lot of sites dedicated to her but that it would probably be a little different for the guys because that had female fans and that they just started out so they wouldn’t have the stalkers yet. Her conversation with Britney helped Ebony out a lot but she wanted more than one opinion so while she was co-writing a song with one of the male artists she had grown to be friends with, she asked him about his opinion on the subject.
"Well, there are a couple of scenarios that could happen when one is in the spotlight. Okay here’s scenario one. Okay a guy has a girl back home that he loves very much but the fame gets to his head. One night he’s out at a club and has a drink or two and gets a little tipsy. A girl or fan if you wish recognizes him and takes him back home. One thing leads to another and he wakes up the next morning with one hell of a hangover and a naked girl at his side. Now he didn’t mean for it to happen but it did and his girl back home is as faithful as could be and when he tells her she blows up because people that she disliked with a passion told her that it was going to happen. One night…one large mistake changed a beautiful relationship for the worst," he said watching her reaction.
Ebony sat across from him, her pencil standing still in her hand while she thought about what he said. When he figured that she wasn’t going to say anything he kept going, "Second scenario. A guy has to go on tour for months at a time and most of the time he’s too tired to make a phone call back home to his family, friends, and significant other saying ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’ and the girl gets lonely. Try as she might she just can’t stand being alone and not getting the affection she craves and she starts to cheat. She feels bad afterwards but she does achieve the attention she craves from cheating and the love she needs from her boyfriend. Now here’s where things get bad. Her boyfriends decides to come home early to surprise his girl. He had missed her so much while he was on tour and felt bad for not being able to call her so to make it right, he leaves early so he can take his girl out for a romantic night out on the town. He gets home only to find his girl with someone else in his place and all she has to say is sorry but that doesn’t mend his broken heart so not only is their relationship finished but the friendship that they could have had."
Ebony still sat there trying to figure out if this would happen to her and if her and Justin’s relationship would be able to survive once he had countless numbers of beautiful girls throwing themselves at him for just a little bit of his time. Would their love and friendship be able to survive the months of being apart or the woulda coulda’s that could happen on the road?
"The last scenario. The guy realizes all the girls and how can I put this…one night stands he can get without having to commit to one person. Now I’m guessing you’re asking these questions because you have someone in this position? Look, I’m not trying to make this seem all negative. I mean if you are in love and it is true than y’all can withstand anything but mistakes happen and you can’t change it so you know, make the decision you think is right. But on a higher note, let’s get this song done so you can go home and I can go start recording it," He said trying to change the mood of the conversation.
He thought he succeeded but in reality he kind of made the situation worse. This gave Ebony a lot to think about in a short amount of time.
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It was finally time for the guys to go on tour so Ebony was there to say her good-byes. When she got there Justin, JC and Chris were saying goodbye to their families so she went over to Lance and gave him a hug.
"Hey, Lance. I guess this is goodbye huh?" she said.
"Not goodbye just see you later. You know you are like my sister so we’ll keep in touch and you know you have to come on tour when you have time off." Lance said in respond to her question.
"We’ll see. Aight. Give me a hug and say bye to Brit." Ebony said.
Lance gave her a hug and walked over to Britney to say a prolonged goodbye. But I figured they are both in the business now so it would probably be a see you in a couple of weeks instead of goodbye.
Next on her list was Joey. She ran up to him and jumped on his back. "Hey Joe Joe!"
"Hey Ebbie." Joey said and he kept her stable by holding her legs. "How’s it going?"
"It’s good. So you excited about going on tour?"
"Hell yeah. Do you know how many women there are going to be at our concerts? I’m going to fins me a cutie to a ‘twork it’ if you know what I mean." Joey said with a smile on his face.
"You better watch yourself Joey. There are going to be a lot of minors at your concert. Don’t be going out there and getting yourself into trouble." Ebony said.
"Yes mother." Joey said as he let her legs go.
Ebony jumped off his back and said, "Okay give me a hug and go say goodbye to everyone else."
Ebony soon found herself face to face with Justin. She knew this was going to be the hardest goodbye because she had to tell him something’s she wasn’t sure she wanted to be said.
Justin walked up to her and engulfed her in a hug but when he felt that she wasn’t hugging him back, he looked up to see what was the matter.
"What’s wrong baby girl?"
"Look, I’ve been thinking and I think it would be best if we broke up…"
"But why? What brought this on? Did I do something?" Justin interrupted sounding desperate.
"No. It’s just that when you leave I don’t want anything to change out relationship. I mean you’re 19 and you love clubbing and you know as well as I do that some bartenders tend to put shit into people’s drinks and what if you get drunk and cheat on me, then where would we be? I love you and I’m not going to deny that. Look shit can happen and I don’t want a bad mistake to mess up something that took our hole lives to build. I don’t want to loose my love or respect on something that wasn’t meant to happen." Ebony said.
"But I won’t cheat on you. I love you more than anything, baby please don’t do this to me. How are you going to break up with me before you even give me a chance? How are you just going to tell me you love me but then say you don’t trust me in the same sentence? Love is based on trust and that’s all I ask. Just give me a chance. Please?!" Justin said as I tear slid down his cheek.
"Justin please understand, I’m not trying to hurt you. I love you more than anything, which is why we can’t stay together. Don’t you see? If we break up what would I do especially if you cheated. I have known you all my life and I haven’t lived without you by my side and I can’t do that now. I’m too accustomed with having you here…"
"How can you not hurt me. Do you know I would give you my left arms hell anything you wanted if you asked and you just told me that the one thing I have wanted in my whole life is being taken away from me? Do you even know how fucking long I have wished that you would look at me as more than a friend? How I made myself think of you as only a friend because I thought you only have platonic feelings for me and now you tell me that it’s over?" Justin asked as a few more tears escaped his eyes and by now they were getting a few odd looks for the other guys.
"Not forever just for a little while. When you are ready and know that you are committed to just me than we’ll be together again. I promise. I’m sorry I’m hurting you but you’ll realize it’s for the best. It’s about time to leave so you better get going." Ebony said as a few tears escaped her eyes.
Justin walked up to her and cupped her face in his hands. He leaned down and kissed her gently with more passion and love than she had ever felt out of him then he pulled away. "Okay, if that’s how you feel. You are wrong though. I’m ready now and am fully committed to you but I’ll give you your space. I just want you to know that I’ll be waiting for you whenever you’re ready." And with that said Justin walked onto the bus where the other guys sat and stared at him.
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During the first month the guys were on tour Ebony moved out of her parents house. She thought it would be easier to get over Justin if when he got home he wasn’t across the street from her. She decided that she was going to move to New York because it would be easier to relocate and she also changed her number giving her parents strict orders not to give it to Justin. What she didn’t know was that breaking all contact with Justin was hurting the friendship that she broke his heart to keep.
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During the first two months of the tour Justin was trying hard to find out where Ebony was but as hard as he tried he came up with no success. The guys noticed that Justin was more depressed than usual but whenever they tried to find out why he just blew them off. When they found out that he and Ebony broke up they left him alone. They knew that he and Ebony were the perfect couple and that if they broke up Justin was going through the motions. As soon as the tour was over the guys went into the studio to work on their new album. They had gotten mad success since ‘No Strings Attached’ came out and they wanted the public to see that they had more talent than just singing and dancing so they did 90 percent of the writing and producing on their new album.
Since Justin broke up with Ebony he started writing a lot of songs to get his emotions out without having a breakdown. When the guys were in the studio writing lyrics for the new album Justin told him about a song he wrote and how he really wanted it to be on the album. The guys read the lyrics and felt all the emotion he put into it and there was no way that song wasn’t going to be put on the album so they quickly went into production on that song.
It only took the guys a couple of months to get the CD finished and into production because they all had things they wanted to say and they were all excited about being able to be more involved with this album. After months of preparation their CD was just about done and they had a name for it, ‘Celebrity’.
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It had been almost ten months since the last time Ebony saw Justin and she had to admit that she missed him a lot. It was hard to wake up each day and know that she wouldn’t run into him or be able to have a conversation with him but she thought it was all for the best. While she was listening to the radio she got a call from one of the JIVE execs. It seems that the guys have just finished their new CD and were having an album release party and they somehow found out that I was personal friends with the guys and asked if I would perform.
As soon as they asked I told them that I didn’t think that that would be a good idea. I mean I haven’t spoken to any of them since they left for the first leg of their tour and I still don’t think that I would be able to face Justin without letting him know that I was wrong and that I have been miserable since the day I broke up with him. Even though I said no the execs found some way to convince me and I still don’t know how they did it but they did.
Now all I had to do was to write a song and perform it and even though writing was my specialty it was going to be harder than what I thought. I mean how can I write a happy song when I’m not happy and I can write a sad song when I performing at am album release party. My thoughts were soon interrupted when something on the radio caught my attention.
"Hello, all you listeners out there. This K102 and we have just gotten *NSYNC’s newest single, ‘Gone’. It was written and produced by Justin Timberlake himself so enjoy it all you *NSYNC fans and I know you are all going to buy their new CD when it hits the stores this Friday." With that said the song started to play and Ebony heard a song that blew her away.
There’s a thousand words that I can say to make you come home, yeah
Seems so long ago you walked away and left me alone
And I remember what you said to me, you were acting so strange
And maybe I was too blind to see that you needed a change
Was it something I said to make you turn away
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way to make it so that you were right here, right now
Chorus:
I’ve been sitting here
Can’t get you off my mind
I’m tryin’ my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains, you’re
Gone
Now I don’t wanna make excuses, baby
Won’t change the fact that you’re gone
But if there’s something that I could do, won’t you please let me know
The time is passing so slowly now, guess that’s my life without you
And maybe I can change my everyday, but baby I don’t want to
So I’ll just hang around and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
And I know in my heart, you can’t say that you don’t love me too
Please say you do, yeah
Chorus:
I’ve been sitting here
Can’t get you off my mind
I’m tryin’ my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains, you’re
Gone
What will I do if I can’t be with you
Tell me where would I turn to, baby who will be
Now that we are apart, am I still in your heart?
Baby, why can’t you see that I need you here with me?
Oh
Chorus:
I’ve been sitting here
Can’t get you off my mind
I’m tryin’ my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains, you’re
Gone
As soon as the song went off Ebony knew what she had to do. She had to write from the heart and tell how she feel. She had to let Justin know exactly what was in her heart and how she felt about everything. She had to make sure that he knew that she still loved him and that she wouldn’t be gone for long.
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