June 9th, 2005-Thursday ( Johnny Depp's B-Day!)
I started smoking because of my "condition". Not having Justin was hell and I couldn't take it. I started drinking and I was only thinking about myself. Sasha was the last thing on my mind, but I had to take care of her. If I would've lost her I would've died right along with her.
You see, I need a family to survive. My mother and sister died and my other 2 sisters were about 300 million miles away and I couldn't contact them.
I knew if Justin was still alive he wouldn't let me give up. He would've made me stronger. Maybe he still is. Who knows. I miss him so much I could die, but when you have responsiblities, it's not that easy. I really don't want to let him down.
Sasha is a growing girl. The last time you heard of her she was 2 and a half. Now she was six years old and in kindergarten. She was very smart for her age. Just like Justin predicted. I loved that about him. Most of what he said actually happened. That might've been his hidden talent or something like that. The whole world knew he could sing, dance, and act.
My mom and Justin will always be remembered by everyone here on Earth. They both left a mark and that mark was permanent.
Both of them helped make my dreams come true and for that they are much appreciated. They both have a HUGE place in my heart. Not having them here hurts me so so so so so very much, but God put me through it so he must know I can do it. I have to get on with my life.
Sasha came out of her school and ran to me. " Het sweetie! How was your day?" She hugged me.
" I got some candy and..." She continued.
She has the voice of an angel. I was happy because I feel Ma and Justin's precense when I have her around.
" Alright baby, let's go." She got in the back seat, I got in the driver seat, and drove off in Justin's contour (from 'Cry Me a River). This was only the begginning of a brand new life.
