A/N: Hey guys--sorry for the wait! It's been crazy--everything's started up again and I'm learning how to drive LOL! And as of right now, I can't think of a title for this chapter so if you guys have any suggestions lemme know! So hope you enjoy this!
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“It’s okay…yeah…alright, bye,” I say as I hang up the phone.
“Knit wit,” I mutter in frustration.
So ever since Bryan dropped me off, I’ve been waiting for”oh you guessed who!”the man himself! Justin! Mr. JT! Curly! Bastard! Whatever you and I wish to call him! I’ve been waiting for quite a few hours and finally, at two in the morning, he calls to tell me he can’t come over.
“Cameron practically begged me to stay with her for the night and I didn’t want to hurt her.”
Well thanks for hurting me buddy. Now they’re probably doing only God knows what and the jealousy continues to build up inside. I should have known better, to wait up for him like this. It was a waste of time. I don’t even know why I agreed to it in the first place now. I always believe that something’s gonna happen, but every time it falls down hill.
This would be much easier if I didn’t feel what I feel inside.
I wish you didn’t love me, I wish you’d make this easy
It was love that caught me, now its fear that keeps me with you
This may sound crazy, but every time Justin speaks to me, smiles at me, even looks my way, it makes that feeling grow stronger. That feeling that I felt two years ago keeps coming back stronger and stronger.
I wanna be by your side so I can close my eyes
To a growing emptiness inside that kills me when I’m with you
But all my hopes that we could be together again crash down every time Cameron comes into the picture. So far, she’s turned out to be a nice woman despite what everyone else says about her. The only part that makes me dislike her is the fact that she’s the reason Justin and I fell apart. I know Justin wants what we had back again, but considering how I felt when he dumped me for someone else…I could never do that to anyone including Cameron. But it makes it even harder to not do that whenever Justin suggests these little things like wanting me back. It drives me insane.
You wanna make me believe that I’m crazy
That I’m nothing without you
And then there’s Bryan. Even though it’s just the beginning, I don’t wanna do that to him either. I’m still a little unsure about him, but I’m hoping this will work out. The only person that could get in the way is Justin…and maybe Cameron considering tonight’s events. She was flirting a bit with him after all, but I shouldn’t be talking. I was doing the same thing with Justin. Only I think he was doing more of the flirting. Maybe it’s just jealousy on both sides. I know it’s on my side. I’d give anything to have Justin next to me this very moment as I lie in my bed. But I wouldn’t be able to do it at this point without hurting anyone. I’m afraid of Justin hurting me. It scares me. Even though he couldn’t help it, he hurt me tonight after calling to say that he couldn’t make it. I always believe that he’s gonna come through, but lately he hasn’t.
It’s unbelievable but I believed you
Unforgivable but I forgave you
Insane what love can do that keeps me coming back to you
I think I depend on him too much. I know I keep saying this over and over again, but I need to move on. I’m horrible with letting go. I might give Justin one more chance. That’s not certain yet. Right now, I just need to focus more on Bryan than Justin. That’s what I should do. But…maybe I should focus on what I want rather than what everyone else wants. That’s how I’ve always been taught. So why not try it?
I guess I’m just afraid.
Now I’m standing on my own
Alone
May 31, 2005
10:19 AM
Work sucks. I have quite a few weddings that I’m still planning, including a meeting today about the one wedding at the end of the week. This truly is insane. Sometimes this job requires too much work.
“Dani, do you have paper work from the new couple?” Mark asks as he enters the office.
“Yeah, hold on a sec,” I say as I look in my pile of folders.
“So..how did last night go?”
I snort, “Let’s just say it went from being okay to a boring snore fest.”
“Why, Cameron hogging your man the whole time?” Mark teased.
“Which one? Cause she flirted with both,” I roll my eyes.
Bad boys, jealous girls
Been there, done that, I just wanna fantasize
“Are you serious? I would have kicked her ass right then and there. Give her a little piece of me,” Mark replies as he makes fists.
“Alright, don’t hurt yourself,” I say sarcastically as I hand him the paper work.
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
I sigh, “I’m sorry, it’s just…he makes me so mad!”
“That makes two of us. Why are you around him again?”
“I honestly don’t know anymore.”
“I’m telling ya Dani. He’s not worth it.”
I roll my eyes, “I know, I know. And now you’re gonna say ‘What about Bryan, Danielle? I thought things were off to a great start.’”
“Well I was, but you made my job easier,” he jokes.
“Yeah and that’s what you should be doing right now, your job. Get outta here!” I tease as I throw a bouncy ball at him as he catches it and leaves.
I sigh as I get back to my pile of work so there’s a chance I can get out of here early tonight. As I reach to open another couple’s folder, there’s a knock at my door.
“Come in,” I say as I see what needs to be finished for this specific wedding not looking up to see who it is.
“Is there ever a day when you don’t work?”
The familiar voice catches my attention and looks up to see Justin leaning against the doorframe.
I don't like anyone the way I like you
And oh boy does he look handsome. He’s wearing jeans with a plain black shirt and his hair’s curly as usual. Sometimes I just wanna cut a curl off and attach it in my journal to have some part of him. Oh come on, you know you’d want to if you had the chance. But then again, there was last night. Oh no, he’s not getting away this easy.
“Can I help you?” I try to sound sarcastic.
“I hope so,” he replies as he kneels down dangerously close next to me in my chair.
“I’m really sorry about last night,” he starts, “I really did wanna come over, especially after what you told everyone at dinner..but I was hoping I could make it up to you today.”
That’s so sweet of him. “Justin, I can’t. I have to work, remember?”
“It’s taken care of. I already got you the rest of the day off.”
“I don’t know..I have a lot of work to do and--”
“Can’t work wait for just one day?” Justin asks as his lips pout.
Damn it, every time he does that, I can’t refuse him anything. “Okay, but what about Cameron?”
“She’ll be gone for a few days”she’s finishing up her movie and such.”
“Alright..but what do I do about Bryan?”
Justin stands up and shrugs, “Just tell him you’re at work.”
“I don’t lie, Justin..” I say as I cross my arms.
“Then just tell him the truth. We’re just two friends hanging out.”
I sigh, “Fine.”
“Good,” he says as he kisses my cheek. “Let’s go then.”
“Okay..” I say with a smile as I get my coat. Oh my goodness, he lips made contact with my face. Now I look like a giddy schoolgirl.
I don’t go anywhere if you’re not there, too
We walk past the offices, reach the outside of the building, and head to where Justin’s bodyguard and the car are.
“Justin,” I say hesitant, “where are we going?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” he says with a wink.
I grab onto his arm, “But what about the paparazzi? We can’t go out in public, friends or not. They’ll go crazy, especially if it’s me who’s out with you.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it all planned out. No one will find us, I promise.”
“Alright,” I sigh as I follow him into the car.
“Just relax, Dani. Everything will be alright,” Justin says as he looks over at me.
It’s not as if I’m hard to please
You’re the only one good enough for me
I nod as we both sit in silence. I look out my window and realize what I’m getting myself into. Who knows where this is gonna lead to. I’m afraid, but I’m willing to see what happens.
Sorry Bryan and Cameron, today’s my day.
Those others just won’t do
I don’t like anyone but you
“Are you sure this is okay?” I ask.
Justin looks up from his drink, “Of course it’s okay. It IS my restaurant after all.”
“Just rub it all in why don’t cha?” I joke to lighten the mood.
He shrugs, “Why shouldn’t I? I sing, I dance, I act, I write, so why not own my own restaurant?”
“Loser,” I hit him on the arm as he laughs, “You sure know how to make me feel good.”
“What? You’re successful! Your face was on a magazine cover!”
“Big deal. And that picture of me was horrendous!”
“To me it wasn’t. I thought you looked gorgeous.”
And I blush once again. Damn, this has gotta stop!
So incase you haven’t gotten the picture yet, Justin ‘sneakily’ brought me to his restaurant, Chi, to eat lunch. It’s a nice place, I must admit. I never actually attempted Chinese before so this outta be interesting. Especially since he ordered for me. I’ll be lucky that I don’t get sushi on my plate.
“So…is this food edible?” I joke.
Justin laughs, “Don’t worry, it is. If you don’t like it, you can always fork it over my way and I’ll stop at Burger King for ya.”
“Gee, thanks,” I roll my eyes.
“You’ll like it,” he says as he pats my hand, “you should always try new things, right?”
“I guess. I’m just too picky.”
“That’s icky.”
I roll my eyes and laugh, “You’re such an ass, yet you still make me laugh.”
Justin laughs along with me until we’re in silence again, “I miss this.”
I look at him, “Miss what? When I brutally insult you?”
“No, how we can just go out and have a nice time. It’s been a while..”
“Yeah well…things change, people get busier..” I get interrupted by Justin’s phone ringing.
He gives me a sympathetic look, “Sorry, it’ll be quick,” he says as he answers the phone.
“Hello?...Oh, hey baby. What’s up?..I’m just out for a little bit…Really?...That’s cool--”
As I pretend I’m not listening to his conversation with Cameron, the jealousy builds up inside me again. Why do I keep fighting him? I know I should just give in to his pleads, but that would land us in a hellhole. But as I look up at him, it just makes me want him more.
Oh yeah, they think I’m a little obsessed
I’m concentrating on you
“Okay, I’m actually off the phone now,” Justin says as he brings back my attention.
“Oh…is Cameron okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine.”
“So anyways, what do you…wanna...do..” Justin asks as his eyes get wide.
I stare at him in confusion, “Are you okay?”
All of a sudden I hear a low voice right next to me, “Hey baby.”
“HOLY SHIT!” I scream as I jump up in my seat and receive quite a few looks from other people.
I turn to see who the culprit is.
“Bryan!” I say in true shock to him.
“Jeez, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you like that,” Bryan laughs as he looks around, “and apparently you aren’t the only one scared anymore.”
Its moments like these that I wish I could slap that boy, “Thanks a lot.”
“I’m sorry,” he says as leaves a kiss on my cheek as I see Justin watching.
“So what are you guys doing?” Bryan asks both of us.
I think I might go in a panic attack as Justin and I look at each other with uncertain eyes. What do you say when you’re about to get caught?
“We were just..”
“Doing more stuff for the wedding!” Justin says as he saves the day.
No no no no, baby
No no no no, don't lie
I look over at him and go along with the story, “Yeah, we were! Planning away like hella crazy.”
And I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie
And now our emotions are drained
“I see. Well sorry for the interruption, Justin. Just had to come over and say hi to her,” Bryan says.
“No problem..” Justin mutters.
“I’ll call you later tonight, babe! Bye!” Bryan says as he leaves.
But as he leaves, I can’t help but notice he’s accompanied with another female.
“Who was that, honey? You gave her quite a scare!”
“It was just my cousin,” Bryan says as they walk out of the restaurant.
What you gonna do when it all comes out?
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Song credits: Unbelievable”Kaci Brown
I Don’t Like Anyone”Dream
Don't Lie--Black Eyed Peas
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