What do you do when you know something's bad for you
And you still can't let go?
Edrea took a deep breath as she closed her suitcase. She was going to do it. She was going to leave him. This was the last time she’d let Justin hurt her.
As she walked into the bathroom to get the last of her things, she caught a glimpse of a picture on the wall. It was from the first year they’d been together and from looking at the picture you’d think they were the happiest couple in the world. It seemed so long ago that she’d been that happy.
I was naïve
Your love was like candy
Artificially sweet
I was deceived by the wrapping
She’d only been 17 when she’d met Justin. He was three years older, gorgeous, famous, rich-and he was interested in her, Edrea Wright. She’d been so flattered when he’d asked her out. Flattered and ignorant. Ignorant of whom Justin really was and what she’d been getting herself into. It was true what they said--ignorance was bliss.
Got caught in your web
And I learned how to bleed
I was prey in your bed
And devoured completely
They’d been together for four years now and they’d had some good times. A lot of them, actually. She smiled to herself, remembering their first kiss. They’d gone for a walk on the beach at night and as they sat there alone in the moonlight, he’d leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. For a few seconds she’d felt like she could soar, it was the most passionate kiss she’d ever experienced. But then she’d let him keep going farther than she was comfortable with. She ended up losing her virginity to him that night on the beach, too afraid to say no.
And it hurts my soul
Cause I can't let go
All these walls are caving in
I can't stop my suffering
I hate to show that I've lost control
Cause I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from
The memories quickly faded away as she looked in the mirror. She still flinched at the sight of herself with a black eye, though it was nothing new. She’d had them many times before. The words Justin had spoken just before he’d given her this one the night before echoed in her head. “You’re my girlfriend! If I want to fuck you, then I’m going to fuck you.” She was nothing more than a possession to him and she knew it.
She sighed as she turned away from the mirror and returned to the bedroom they’d shared since the moment she’d turned 18. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it and it wouldn’t be the last. Justin had taken everything from her “ her virginity, her pride, her heart, her dignity, her self-worth; she’d lost them all. She wasn’t herself anymore. He had stolen any identity she’d ever had. She may as well not even be Edrea Wright. She was just Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend.
She didn’t even know why she was with him anymore. She hated him. But a part of her couldn’t survive without him. Something in her couldn’t stand the thought of not being Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend.
I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away
Edrea picked up the suitcase and took one last look around before leaving the room. She turned quickly and headed down the hall, afraid she’d change her mind. She stopped suddenly when she heard the front door slam. Edrea stood frozen on the stairs, not know what to do. She didn’t want to see Justin. She couldn’t let him convince her to stay.
Justin appeared at the bottom of the stairs just as she was trying to decide what to do. His eyes darted from the suitcase to her and Edrea tried to avoid his gaze. She couldn’t let herself look into his eyes.
I'm about to break
I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your lure
and I'm feigning for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...
“Edrea,” he said slowly as he made his way up the stairs towards her.
She tensed at the sound of him speaking her name.
“What’s going on?” he questioned.
“I’m leaving,” she replied, her voice shaking. “It’s over, Justin. I’m not going to deal with your shit anymore.”
“Baby, what are you talking about? I love you, you know that,” he said, bringing his hand to her face.
She pulled away from his touch, shaking with the effort it took not to cry. “Justin, look at me!” she screamed, pointing to her black eye. “Is this what you do to someone you love? Beat them up and force them to sleep with you whenever you feel like getting laid? I don’t want that kind of love.” She walked past him, feeling the most like herself that she had in years.
But he followed. She’d hoped he wouldn’t follow. She didn’t know what she was going to do if he tried to stop her. He grabbed her arm and turned her towards him, causing her to drop her suitcase.
“I’m sorry, Edrea. I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again, I promise,” he pleaded.
She looked in his eyes and was surprised at the fact that he actually did look sorry. “That’s what you always say,” she whispered.
He nodded. “I know. But this time’s different. I’m going to change.”
She knew it wasn’t true. He always said he’d change and he never did. But as he captured her lips in his, she could feel her knees weakening, begging her to stay with him.
I can make it
It's some state I'm in
Getting nothing every time
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn
And everywhere I turn
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from
She pulled away suddenly. “No. No, Justin, I’m leaving. You’re never going to change.”
“I’ll try-“
“I’m not going to wait around for you to try! You’ve already hurt me too much, I can’t take it anymore.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Please, baby, don’t do this. Stay. You know you want to.” He began kissing her neck, knowing this was her weakness. It sent shivers up her spine and she closed her eyes, knowing that she was going to give in and wondering why she’d even tried to get out.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay, I’ll stay.”
“Thank you.” He kissed her passionately on the lips and tears began to roll down her cheeks. She wondered why she had to be so weak. Why couldn’t she just walk out that door? Why did she have to love him so much, when he was never going to do the same for her?
Every time I try to grasp for air
I get smothered in despair, it's never over, over
Seems I never wake from this nightmare
I let out a silent prayer, let it be over, over
Inside I'm screaming
Begging, pleading, no more
My heart has been bruised
So sad but it's true
Each beat reminds me of you
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