Chapter Four
For the first time in three years, JC realized that his partner was not invincible. So many times, she’d held him in her arms and seemingly made all of his problems disappear. She’d been his rock, the person who held him together when everything fell apart around him. And now it was his turn.
He’d called Chris and explained what had happened, asking him to keep his daughter for awhile longer while JC tried to comfort Jen. Being the wonderful friend that he was, Chris had agreed whole-heartedly and had offered his condolences several times before hanging up the phone. After JC made a few more phone calls to the guys and to his own parents, he headed up the stairs to his wife. The sight that he saw broke his heart.
She was curled up on the bed, a pillow hugged against her chest. Although her back was to him, he could easily tell that she was crying. Soft sniffles could be heard and her shoulders were shaking slightly as she sobbed. He hated this. He walked over to the bed and crawled beside her, pulling her into his arms. He reached for the pillow and tugged it out of her grasp so that he could hold her.
“I love you Jen,” he reminded her softly. He removed his arms when he saw her shift to face him. Her face was red from crying. His heart broke once more.
“I’m so stupid Josh!” She cried. “I’m so stupid! I knew something was wrong and I was too scared to tell you! I thought if I ignored it, it would go away!”
“Honey, you heard Dr. Monroe. There was nothing that could have done to prevent it. And I don’t believe that you ‘knew’ something was wrong. If you had thought something was truly wrong at an earlier time, you would have told me like you did this morning,” he reminded her. He leaned over and kissed her nose gently.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t you DARE apologize, Jennifer. I mean it. It’s not your fault, sweetheart. Please don’t do this to yourself.”
She didn’t say another word. Instead, she moved and nuzzled her face against his chest. She continued to cry softly as she felt his hands rubbing her back.
“Baby please! You’re killing me here! I can’t stand to see you so heartbroken.”
“I c-can’t help it!” She sniffled.
“I know you can’t help being upset but honey… please. Everything’s going to be fine. Not today, not tomorrow… but everything’s going to be fine. I promise. Just trust me.”
Without another word, Jen allowed herself to be lulled to sleep by his comforting words and gentle hands.
~*~
“How’s she doing?” Chris asked, handing the sleeping four year old off to her father.
“Not good. She’s blaming herself Chris… come on in and let me put Julie down. I really need someone to talk to,” he sighed. “I’ll just be a second,” he promised, hurrying upstairs with his sleeping daughter. After getting her tucked in, he peeked in on Jen to see if she was still asleep.
She’d been sleeping since early afternoon. This was so different from normal, but he didn’t blame her. She’d cried herself out to the point where she was absolutely exhausted. The sleep would do her some good… hopefully. Coming back downstairs, he found his friend in the living room.
“She’s still asleep.”
“Wow… I’m really sorry Jace,” Chris told him, looking up as his friend walked to the couch and took a seat. JC ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the long locks.
“I don’t know what to do for her, Chris. There’s nothing I can do to take her pain away and I wish to God that there was. She thinks it’s her fault and I can’t do anything to convince her otherwise.”
“What exactly… happened?”
“I don’t even know! Doctor Monroe said something about with a lot of women, their bodies just aren’t ready to handle a baby when they get pregnant or something.”
“Does that mean she’ll never…”
“Oh God Chris. I hope not. She wants a baby so bad. I mean, so do I, you know? I’d love to have another kid running around here, one that I’m like… there for in the beginning, you know? But I don’t know. I didn’t ask questions. I just wanted to get her out of there and home.”
“I don’t blame you one bit there. But you need to… I guess look into it? Because if she doesn’t know, it’s going to cause a lot of heartbreak in the future I’m sure,” he stated wisely. With a nod, JC sighed.
“I guess you’re right. I swear though… I might have to punch the woman in her face if she delivers anymore bad news to my woman. I swear to God Chris. I don’t know what to do here. Jen’s always been the strong one. She takes care of everything and I don’t know what to do with her now.”
“Just be there for her, Jace. That’s all you can do. I know that this whole thing has to be getting to you as well but just… just be there for her,” he told him. “I’ve got to be going though. If you need anything, day or night, just call me,” he offered, giving his friend and brother a smile. Pulling JC to his feet, he pulled him into a brotherly hug, offering his condolences once more before taking his leave. Once JC knew that he was truly alone, he allowed himself to cry, silently wondering why God could be so cruel.
~*~
“Jen?” He called softly. He hoped that she was still asleep. She needed it. When he didn’t get a response, he stripped into his boxers before crawling into the bed next to him. As usual, he pulled her back against his chest, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he shut his eyes, holding her weary body against his, praying that with a new day would come understanding as to why their child was taken from them so prematurely.
AN: I know that thus far, this story is ridiculously sad. It hurts me to write it but I didn't want my stories to be all happy and fluffy through out. But I promise you, Jen and JC will find happiness. Just hang in there!
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