Chapter 4
"You and mama are going home today, mija. As soon as tú madrina comes to get us, we are home free. Just you and me, Kaci. And no one's gonna take that away from us, ever," Christi smiled down at her daughter, eyes full of hope.
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While Jessi continued to gather Christi's stuff, Courtney and Jordan separated and eyed Jessi, who was muttering obscenities as she did what she came to do. Jessi finished packing and walked her way to her car with Christi's stuff in hand. She heard Courtney call her name just as she opened the back door to her car and placed Christi's stuff in the back along with Kaci's car seat. When she finished doing
so, she turned back to Courtney.
"You can’t tell her," Courtney stated.
"You have got some nerve. Prima, mi culo. You're supposed to be her cousin, for god sakes!"
"Exactly. That's why she can't know."
"You put yourself in the position that you are in, and from what I heard upstairs, you sure as hell were enjoying yourself. So, don’t go acting like you’re ashamed. And, stay away from her, Courtney! I better not find out that either of you go near her," Jessi demanded.
"I’m not going to stay away from Christi, whether you like it or not. As for Jordan, he's Kaci's father and deserves to see his daughter."
Putting two and two together, Jessi exclaimed, "So, it was you that told him where Christi was, wasn't it?!"
"Yes. And, I’m not ashamed either.”
"Just like how you don't regret this affair you have going on, huh!"
Tired of Courtney’s nonsense and a rather long night, Jessi knocked Courtney to the ground. Courtney starred wide-eyed at Jessi, who got in her car and sped away, down the driveway out of sight and enraged.
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Back in her Acura, Jessi popped in the only CD she could find in her car. She needed some music to calm her down. Any other time she would gripe about Christi’s taste in music, but as of right now she would listen to anything if it meant that Christi would not pick up what was going on through Jessi’s mood. It probably just set her off more, and Jessi knew that she didn’t need any more stress right about now. So, Jessi gripped the steering wheel and listened to Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway CD as she headed home to drop Christi's stuff off first before she picked Kaci and Christi up from the hospital.
Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone
Jessi reached other and changed the CD to next the song. A slow song came on. To Jessi, it was angry, like her, yet surprisingly calming at the same time. Overall, it was just the right song she needed to calm her anger.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
As she drove to the hospital, Jessi also had to admit that Christi’s taste in music wasn’t as bad as she always made it out to be.
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
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KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
No answer.
JC used his keycard to open Justin's hotel door. Entering the suite, he headed for where he suspected Justin to be. His bedroom. There on the bed, lays Justin staring to the empty right side of the bed. JC assumed that must be Marci's side. Cautiously, walking over to his fried, JC softly spoke, "Justin."
"Yeah," he responded, not moving from his state.
"The hospital called. They contacted her dad and are asking for you to pick up some of her stuff."
"Okay."
"Want me to go with you?"
Justin simply nodded.
"I'll leave you to get dressed."
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"You ready to go home?" Jessi said, not really wanting to break the mother-daughter moment.
"Yeah," Christi smiled, looking down at her daughter, who was held in her arms. With that Jessi wheeled Christi and Kaci out of the hospital to the car.
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Waiting for Justin to finish getting himself together, JC placed his hands in the pockets of his pants, which he's been wearing for two day straight now. His left hand felt a small folded up piece of paper in his pocket. Not remembering what he could have put in his pocket, he pulled the paper out and unfolded it. He couldn't help but smile and wonder when the paper was slipped in his pocket. He had been so tired to even remember, but then it donned on him. When Christi had hugged him goodbye, he felt her secretly tuck something in his pocket. At the time, he thought she was fixing his pants. Breaking free from the flashback, he eyed the name and number, thinking about whether to call her or not. Justin pulled him from his thoughts as he
returned from the bedroom, and they left.
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Pulling up to Jessi's house, Christi couldn't help but smile, thinking of all the modeling Jessi had to do just to build the house. She was still fascinated by it although she had been there a million times before. Jessi's home was just like a modern day castle, designed for those of wealth to live comfortable. A dramatic two-story entry foyer led to a two-story living room overlooking a black-bottomed swimming pool and a lake fountain centered specifically for the home. The curving stair led to a bridge balcony on the second level. The gourmet kitchen opened to the breakfast area and family room, creating a family complex that blends seamlessly with the lanai and pool. The highlight of the master bedroom was the lavish bath, which includes etched-glass windows, a water wall with a barrel-vaulted ceiling above, a steam shower with a sandblasted glass door, and a circular soaking tub set. Upstairs were three spacious bedrooms, along with a library loft, a game room and a state-of-the-art media room.
And now, the house is part hers and Kaci's.
Jessi showed Christi to her room and then motioned for her and Kaci to follow her to a room, taking a detour through a connecting bathroom. The girls walked into a spaciously white room that had its own walk-in closet, large window positioned across from the door, white curtains drawn back to the sides of the window, and white dressers on the side walls of the room.
"I was thinking this could be the nursery after we spice it up, that is," Jessi spoke.
Christi was speechless. She simply walked further into the room with Kaci sleeping soundly on her shoulder and sat Indian-style on the white-carpeted floor, looking adoringly out the window to Jessi's oversized pool area in the backyard. Jessi repeated Christi's actions soon after.
Forgetting to pack stuff for Kaci, Jessi left to pick up the necessities for her. Just as Jessi was walking downstairs, the phone rang. She looked back to the ringing object, only to decide to let it ring. She thought, "I'm on a mission," and left the house. After the fifth or sixth ring, Christi was broken from her trance and got up to retrieve the phone. "Hello?"
"Jessi?"
"Sorry. She just left. Wanna leave a message?"
"Can you just tell her that JC called, and I’ll call her back when I get a chance?"
"JC? Hey, it's Christi. So, I guess you found my paper, huh?" Christi mused.
"Hey, Christi. Yeah, I found you paper. Thanks. And how's little Miss Kaci Pierce, by the way. Since you’re out everything."
"You say it like I was in prison or something. But truthfully, it feels damn good. Little Miss Kaci, as you call her, is sleeping as we speak. Oh, and to fill you in she's a Fuentes, not a Pierce."
"I thought Jessi told me that her last name is Pierce."
"Jessi didn't know otherwise at the time. Everything kinda happened at the speed of lightening," she sighed, but then, continued to tell him everything that she had told Jessi the night before as JC listened and offered her moral support. She knew there was a reason she liked him and gave him Jessi's number. So intrigued with one another, they continued to talk about everything and anything. They had been talking for about an hour and a half when Jessi had returned from the store with diapers, powder, diaper rash ointment, pacifier, tons of baby outfit, socks, and a pair of sandals.
Seeing Christi on the phone, Jessi wiggled her eyebrows, "Who’s that? Sounds manly."
"It's for you."
Taking the phone, Jessi answered, "Hello?"
"Jessi?"
"Yeah. JC? Is that you?"
"Yeah. Christi gave me your number. I hope that's alright."
"It's cool. So, how is everything going with the Marci situation?"
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I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
Four days have passed, and the new found group of friends are showing signs of being miserable and forming dark circles around their eyes. Motherhood seems to be taking its toll on Christi. Justin and JC are saddened by the loss of Marci. And as for Jessi, it’s tiring her out to give moral support to both Christi and the guys. The four of them carry on as living zombies, especially Justin.
The day has come to finally lay Marci to rest and no signs of a turning point have shown up. Jessi, due to Justin and JC's inability to function right, has made all the arrangements, including contacting Marci's family and friends, the rest of NSYNC, and Johnny.
The funeral went off without a hitch. Well, as well as a funeral could be expected to be. Now, everyone had been invited back to Marci's parents' house for an intimate reception.
Sitting down on the mat, in front of her bed, Justin cautiously reached under her bed and pulled out an unfinished scrapbook and a photo album. He opened the scrapbook and sobbed as he started to look through the pages, one by one.
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away
Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Meanwhile the other guys of NSYNC, Christi with Kaci, and Jessi were huddled in the hallway, watching Justin and chatting. All of them except Christi tried to get him to open up from the trance he’d been in all day but had failed.
"I’ll give it a try, but don't get your hopes up," Christi stated, walking into the room with Kaci propped up on her shoulder, sleeping.
Pulling Marci's four-legged white computer chair in front of Justin, she sat down and observed the disoriented figure before her. After five minutes of silence, Justin, surprisingly, broke it, "You don't have to be here, and you could tell the guys that also."
"But we want to be here and we're staying for as long as you need us."
Kaci began to stir in her sleep and her eyes fluttered open. Christi smiled down at the baby's head propped on her shoulder and cooed, "Aren't we, angel?"
Justin, not noticing anyone else in the room, looked up from his hands to see whom she could have called "angel" and noticed Kaci for the first time. He couldn't help reaching out and rubbing her back.
In response, they got a burp and a small giggle from the baby girl. Justin let out his first chuckle in days as Christi chimed in while motherly wiping Kaci's mouth with her bib, "I just fed her a bottle not too long ago."
"Can I hold her?"
"Yeah." Christi carefully handed Kaci to Justin.
"I'm sorry to hear about Jordan. And before you ask, JC told me. He was trying to distract me from thinking about Marci."
"It's okay. And there's nothing for you to be sorry for. You didn't do anything. Plus, everything from now on will be better for the two of us. And the same goes for you. I don't know about it being better, but I know that things will get as good as it can get without Marci. So promise me that you'll try, at least?"
He looked down to Kaci and felt some hope from Kaci’s presence and Christi's words. After a moment of silence, he softly replied, "I'll try."
“Good. Now, come on. We have an appearance.”
Justin groaned, “I don’t want to make an ‘appearance.’”
“Come on, Justin. You said you’d try.”
“Okay,” he sighed.
Justin looked back up to Christi and reassured her with all he could of a small smile and reached out his hand to hers, in her lap, and squeezed it warmly.
She used the arms of the chair to lift herself up and helped Justin up along with her. He looked around the room one last time before walking out the room, with Christi in tow.
Justin decided to take the two books with him. It was like taking the last piece of Marci with him. Christi had noticed the wedding scrapbook in his hand and was thankful she wasn't there when he looked through it. The scrapbook must have been painful for him. No wonder he stopped to wipe his eyes for a second. Christi didn’t know what she could have said to a man looking at his late fiancée all dolled up in the dress she planned on wearing on their wedding night?
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All the while, the group in the hallway looked on at the two coming out the room and stood there in amazement, wondering how Christi managed to get Justin to open up to her.
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With Jessi chillin' at JC's suite, Christi and Kaci had the rather large house all to themselves. Ever since the funeral, Justin and Christi have kept in touch quite a bit. Even, if it's only been two days. Justin talked to her more than he had JC.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come over?"
"Justin, stay there. I’m in a big house and bound to hear noises, especially since I'm here alone. I already checked everything out. It was nothing."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he dismissed her explanation.
The next thing he knew Christi was screaming and a click.
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One second she's talking to Justin. Then next thing she knows she's screaming, seeing water fill her room under the crack of her door coming from the hallway, and dropped the phone. Christi hadn’t even realized that she accidentally hung up on or that it was no longer in her hands. She just went into a panic and left the house in a flash with Kaci.
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