Chapter 7
All hell was about to break lose. Jessi gasped, realizing what that the look of rage in Christi's eyes was about. Jessi’s gasp wasn’t unheard nor misunderstood by Christi. Leaving everyone else in the room baffled to what was unfolding, Christi ran out of the room in search of her keys and cell phone. Hot on her trail, Jessi hopped in her Eclipse as she saw Christi pull off in her own car. Jessi followed close behind the Christi, who was driving recklessly. That is until Christi floored it at a yellow light and left Jessi stuck at a red light. There was no way she would be able to find Christi in the traffic jam she was stuck in and with no clue to where Christi is headed. Knowing that, Jessi turned back around and went home, hoping Christi would be okay.
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Twenty minutes later, Christi parked in an apartment parking lot, trying to calm her nerves so she could confront those that had betrayed her. She closed her eyes and continued to control her breathing. That is until she dozed off into a little nap. A nap that was soon interrupted.
Christi woke with a fright when she heard her cell phone in her purse ring for the hundredth time in the past twenty minutes. She knew by the ring tone that it was Jessi calling yet again so she turned the phone off completely. Confronting the two traitors was something she had to do alone and now. As she was pulling the keys out of the ignition, Christi looked up toward the apartment of her destination and still wasn't prepared for what she saw. Courtney's door had opened, and there stood Courtney giving Jordan a good-bye kiss. Only that kiss didn't stay so innocent when Courtney wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer in a full-blown make out session. Christi looked on for a moment in shock until she decided that she couldn't face them after seeing what she saw. Before the two Benedict Arnolds could've noticed her, she pulled out of the lot and headed for the one place she could get away and just think. The beach.
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Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
By the time she finally reached Galveston, the sun had already gone down. Translucent night clouds decorated the dark sky along with a few visible stars. There were few stars but each stood out. The water was hardly visible. If it weren't for the stars and the half waned moon's reflection, you wouldn't have even known it was there by sight. The salty smell in the air was emitted from the salt in them ocean. But no matter how brown it could get at times, how salty the air could smell, the endless supply of seaweed washed ashore, or even the occasional fish that would wonder off to the recreational beach area, Christi had always loved the ocean. Somehow, the tranquility of the waves always seemed to calm her down and allow her to clear her mind.
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Christi sat close enough to the water to wet her feet and legs, yet far enough away to not drench her denim shorts. Her mind drifted off into space before it even began to digest the whole Jordan and Courtney situation. She sat there for hours going over all the emotions she was battling in her head. She was somewhat angered, hurt, betrayed, confused, yet enlightened all at the same time. If she was honest with herself, she didn't know what to feel, which was the confusion speaking. The anger and hurt feelings came in with the fact that Jordan would actually stoop as low as to cheat on her with her cousin. Of all people, it just had to be Courtney. Yeah, she had accused him of flirting with her but at the time she didn't actually believe it. It broke her heart even more that none of it was one-sided. She just couldn't believe that one of her closest cousins would do such a thing to her. And all the tears she had been holding back all day were unleashed. She couldn't take it anymore and just laid back completely in the sand as she cried her heart out. She thought of all the years her and Jordan had been together, the good times, the bad times, making up after the bad times, and Kaci.
Christi smiled at the thought of her child. The one gift Jordan had given to her that meant the world to her. Kaci gave her more strength than she had ever imagined that she would have. Ever since she had been born, Christi had dealt with her rocky marriage and still managed to be happy. Not only did Kaci give her strength, she also brought her a special friend. Not special in the sense that he was a celebrity. More in the sense that they had a unique friendship. With Justin, she could talk about anything and everything as if they had known each other their entire life. They also had plenty of inside jokes just for the two of them. If that wasn't enough, he helped her deal with her problems with Jordan before the whole Courtney thing, and she helped him deal with Marci's death. No doubt about it, Kaci and Justin were her strength. Thinking of them brought her out of her somber mood. As for Jessi, she was a whole other issue Christi had to deal with but didn't have time to.
Deciding it was late enough as it was, Christi dusted the sand off of her and walked up the cemented stairs to the seawall, where her car had been parked.
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"Have you told her yet?"
"No we haven't had a chance to talk. I going to tell her tonight, but we got a little sidetracked."
"Whatever. I just figured you would have told her the second you saw her. She is going to be excited about you and JC."
"I'm not so sure about that anymore. She hates me now."
"No, she doesn't."
"You should have seen the look she gave me. Then you would think otherwise."
"She's still not back, yet?"
"Nope."
"Well, tell her to call me when she gets in."
"If she's talking to me, I will."
"Just promise me that you will tell her."
"Okay, Justin. I promise I will tell Christi to call you."
"Thanks. You wanna talk to JC now."
"Don't you know it," Jessi cheered up.
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Christi came sneaking in the house around three in the morning, in hopes of dodging Jessi. She soon realized her attempt failed when she heard a sleepy Jessi rising from the couch. She tried to creep up the stairs without her noticing, but that failed also. She stalled midway up the stairs when she heard Jessi call her name from the living room. Christi then turned around and glared a `stay away' look at her. Jessi knew she was mad and that fighting about it that early in the morning would get her nowhere. Instead of apologizing, Jessi tossed the cordless phone at her and told her to call Justin. It was bad enough Christi was upset with her. She didn't want to have to deal with another person's shit for not relaying a message. Christi made her way up the stairs, dialing Justin's number as Jessi just sighed and headed for her own room to get some real sleep.
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Weeks had passed, and Christi continued to give Jessi the cold shoulder. She didn't let Jessi in on anything that was going on with her, including accompanying Christi to her meetings with her lawyer that she started having the day after she found out about the affair and the fact that she was still struggling with some kind of illness. Not that she knew what was wrong with her. All she knew was that she was having hallucinations, hearing things, sweating, choking, and shortness of breath, all after having those damn nightmares. According to her, they were all the signs of going crazy. But her mother refused to let her believe that. Of course, this landed them in the waiting room of Dr. Collins's office. She had been putting it off for a while now, and her mother was making sure she didn't back out. This appointment made her nervous for some reason.
To calm her nerves, Christi had went shopping and made some obvious changes to herself before meeting up with her mother at the doctor's office. Serena almost didn't recognize her daughter walk in the building. When Christi entered into the building, she had been wearing a pair of sunglasses, which she had purchased on her little shopping spree she gave herself. She slid the glasses on top of her head with her newly manicured fingers and went to check in at the desk. After checking in, she looked around the waiting room, in search of her mother. Spotting Serena, Christi called out to her. Serena had noticed the brunette walk in but thought nothing of it and went back to reading the magazine that she found on the table in the waiting room. However, when she heard what she thought was her daughter's voice, she looked up. Finally, she got a good look at the brunette that had called her name and recognized her Christi, who didn't look so much like her Christi anymore. It couldn't be her Christi. Her Christi vowed never to spend an excess amount of money on accessories. Something about it being a waste of money and just wanting to flaunt what others can't have. Yet, the Christi before her eyes contradicted that vow. This Christi had expensive yet tactful jewelry decorating her ears, neck, wrist, fingers, and right ankle. She also had a new Prada purse swinging in her hand. An expensive pair of sunglasses pushed back her newly styled hair from around her face. Hair that was now straight, dyed brown, and about four inches chopped off that made it shoulder-length. Although the hair topped the cake, Serena couldn't believe that her daughter was wearing a halter and a skirt. A white skirt, at that. Christi never wore skirts. No matter how much Serena and Jessi tried to talk her into wearing them, she refused. The fact that the skirt is white baffles Serena even more since her daughter never wore white bottoms. Something about how she always got white bottoms dirty had always strayed her away from wearing anything that touched her from her waist down. After standing there for a minute or two for her mother to analyze the new her, Christi sat in the empty seat next to Serena and asked, "Well, what do you think?"
It took Serena a moment to answer, "Don't get me wrong. Wow. But what happened to my daughter?"
"I know what you mean. It's just that I was so nervous about this whole thing. I mean, I might actually have an answer after so long. Sitting around waiting for the appointment was eating away at me so I decided to go shopping to relax. I started to really get into everything and got carried-" Christi was rambling and Serena knew it had to do with her being nervous. But as she rambled, Serena got a close look at her daughter's nails since Christi was talking with her hands after all. They weren't natural as usual with clear nail polish. They were solar tips. But these tips weren't regular. She could tell that the tips were a glittery white. Noticing the small detail on her nails, Serena couldn't help but look at her toes, which she knew before looking would be matching the nails she just examined.
Just as Serena was about to interrupt Christi, Dr. Collins appeared and called for her to follow him. Christi got up and reached for her mother's hand to help her up as well. There was no way she was going in there alone. The two women followed the doctor into a cold room. The coldness only added to the goosebumps from her nervousness. Dr. Collins could tell she was nervous so he decided to ease Christi into everything with a slight distraction.
"So, how's the baby doing?"
Christi lit up, "Kaci's great. Perfectly healthy."
"How about yourself?"
Christi sighed, "I don't even know what's going on with me."
Dr. Collins encouraged her to continue, "How about I do a routine checkup and you start with why you scheduled this appointment."
Her doctor started with checking Christi's vital signs as Christi started, "I seem to be having nightmares all the time. The nightmares can be so intense that I wake up sweating and out of breath. Sometimes I feel like I'm being choked. I also hear voices and see things after I've woken up. I think I'm crazy. What do you think, doc?"
Dr. Collins finished taking her vital signs and began to question her. "I might know what's wrong, but before I jump to any conclusions, tell me how long has this been going on and did anything dramatic happen around the time that it all began?"
Serena chimed in, "It all started about a week after she had Kaci. Her marriage was falling apart and Jordan was harassing her to see Kaci."
Just as Dr. Collins was about to say something, Christi objected, "Actually-"
Christi's voice caught the attention of both Serena and Dr. Collins. Noticing that all eyes were on her, Christi continued, "It started way before then. Years before then." She then look to mom and spoke up, "Remember the accident?"
Serena was stunned. She hadn't known that Christi was still suffering. Obviously, not physically anymore, but mentally she still was.
Lyrics: “Welcome To My Life” by Simple Plan
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