Author's Note: I'm not sure if I should go on with this story or not so you guys say what you think!
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It’s near the end of opening night and I can hardly believe it. For weeks, I’ve been memorizing every single line to be prepared for the first performance tonight and it’s almost over, but I’m still nervous. All my family and friends are here; everyone I love is here.
Everyone except him.
The one person that I need to be here watching is not. He promised me; he promised he would be in the front row watching every move I made, every note I sang on my first Broadway performance.
I guess promises are always broken.
**********
Only thirty minutes left until he goes on stage with the rest of the guys on their opening night of the tour. They’re all so excited to be back on the road again. And I am too; it’s been too long for NSYNC to be on a break and now that break is over.
The only bad thing about it is that he’ll be touring for almost half a year. But I love him and support him; especially after he proposed to me two weeks ago.
It’s amazing; two weeks ago, I agreed to become the future Mrs. Justin Timberlake. And ironically, two weeks ago, I got a phone call to tell me that I had received the part of being Lilly in ‘The Secret Garden’. I couldn’t believe it; I had just landed my first Broadway production. It’s still sending chills down my spine. Justin was there right by my side when I was done with the call. He lifted me up, spun me around, and gave me the sweetest kiss I had ever felt. He had promised me right there that he would be at my opening night and that nothing would come between that.
And now I’m in the hallway with the guys watching them play their hackey-sack game as they always do before shows. Naturally, my fiancé refuses to lose so he’s kicking all over the place whether it’s actually the hackey-sack or one of the guys.
Finally, all five guys kick the hackey-sack and the game is done. That only took a good ten minutes.
“I told you I wouldn’t be the one who kept starting over, baby!” Justin says as he walks over to me and wraps me in his arms.
“Yeah, it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye,” I tease.
“Or in this case, a leg,” Joey says as he rubs the spot where Justin kicked him on accident.
“Suck it up, Fatone, and take it like a real man!” Justin jokes.
“Oh, okay Mr. I-Think-I-Grew-Up-Just-Cause-I-Proposed Man!” Joey teases as he ducks from Justin’s playful punch.
“Justin Randall, that will be enough horsing around!” His mother, Lynn Harless, says as she enters the playroom where we’re currently in.
Immediately all four guys and I shout out ‘Ooh’ as Justin turns beet red.
“Alright, enough of the ooh’s guys; it’s not like any of you haven’t been yelled at your age,” Johnny Wright, their manager, says as he enters the room.
“Stacy, here’s the schedule for the tour,” Johnny walks over to me and hands me the list of tour dates, “some of them are starred because we don’t know about that date yet, but most likely they will be. Otherwise, that’s all. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask!”
“Thank you, Johnny,” I say as I sit on the couch and look over the dates.
Everything seems to look fine until my eyes stop at a certain date: August 27, 2005.
My opening night.
I look next to the date, hoping to find a star next to it.
But there’s not. It’s official.
I understand this tour was set out before I even tried out for the part, but it’s making me a little upset. I want Justin to be there opening night; I NEED him to be there.
What makes me even more upset is that he knew the date of opening night moments after I found out I got the part. And he promised he’d be there; knowing he had the tour this summer.
On the verge of tears, I walk over to Justin and tap him on the shoulder, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, sure,” he says concerned and walks in front of me out in the hallway.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Tell me again what day my opening night is.”
“August 27; I haven’t forgotten it since you found out.”
“Okay, now look over this list carefully and see if you can find the exact same date,” I say as I hand him the paper with the tour dates on it.
Justin leans against the wall and I watch his eyes search for the date until they stop. His eyes search deeper into the paper to make sure he’s not seeing things. He sighs deeply and runs his hand through his buzzed-cut hair.
“This doesn’t mean anything, Stace. I’ll still be there.”
“How’s that going to work, Justin? You just bail out of the concert and take one of the N’s out of NSYNC with you?! It can’t work like that!”
“I know! I just.. I didn’t expect a concert to happen that night..”
“Well expect it because you’ll be there! Justin, I thought you were gonna check the tour dates to make sure it wasn’t that night! Especially when I told you not to confirm that promise to me until you knew for certain that you wouldn’t be on stage that night!”
“I’m sorry, Stacy! I forgot! What do you want me to do?! Incase you haven’t noticed, I’ve been preparing for this tour for a few months!”
“I know that, Justin, I know! And I support you every step of the way!”
“Then stop acting like such a bitch about it!”
Justin’s eyes get wider as I step away from him in shock and completely hurt. Did he just call me that? Am I really acting like that? A few tears escape my eyes as I look at him.
“Baby..I’m sorry..I had no idea what I was saying..” Justin says as he tries to walk up to me.
He looks like he’s telling the truth, but I’m too hurt and angry to forgive him.
“Don’t touch me!” I say as I push his hand away, “So is that what I always act like? Is that what you think of me?”
“Of course not! Stace, you’ve seen me the past few days, I’m stressed out! I’ve said regretful stuff in the past few days, but I told you not to take anything by heart. Even my mom told you about that!”
“Stress is not an excuse for this, Justin! You don’t just call your future wife a bitch because of stress! And you’re not the only one under a lot of stress; I am too! My first Broadway production starts in one month! I’ve never done anything like this before! But I’ve never called you names; I’ve never done anything this hurtful to you! Sure I get in a mood, but that’s it! I make sure I know what I’m saying before it comes out my mouth!”
Justin stands there quiet while I just stare at him. I can tell the door to the playroom is slightly opened so I know everyone’s either watching or listening to us.
“I’m sorry, babe, I’m sorry…it won’t happen again,” Justin says full of emotion.
“I know it won’t happen again.. cause there won’t be another chance for it to happen..” I say slowly.
Justin looks up at me with his eyes full of tears, “What do you mean?”
I take off the ring that he put on two weeks ago and place it in the palm of his hand.
“No..baby don’t! Please don’t do this..” Justin says as he begins to cry.
“I’m sorry, Justin. We keep fighting and making up and I can’t take it anymore if it’s gonna stay this way.”
“It won’t stay this way, Stace. I promise it won’t..just please..don’t leave me..”
“I don’t accept promises anymore, Justin,” I say sadly as I continue to cry and run towards the exit of the stadium while Justin cries harder as he sees me leaving.
**********
That was the night I lost the person I loved..who actually loved me back. And I regret making that choice. I hate myself for walking away from the one thing that was right in my life. Sure we had a few fights, but that’s what’s supposed to make love grow stronger as you resolve them. I found that out too late.
I haven’t seen Justin since that night; well in person actually. I’ve seen him on TV, in papers, in magazines, all that jazz. Of course, the main topic has been the tour and our break up. But I wish I could see him again. Especially tonight.
I walk out onto stage towards Derek, the guy who’s playing Archibald. It’s now the end of the play and my character, Lilly, has died so I’m supposed to be a ghost now who appears in front of Archibald. We say our few lines and the keys to the piano being to play as I prepare to sing.
How could I know I would have to leave you?
How could I know I would hurt you so?
You were the one I was born to love
Oh how could I ever know?
How could I ever know?
How can I say to go on without me?
How, when I know you still need me so?
How can I say not to dream about me?
How could I ever know?
How could I ever know?
I look out into the audience and see my family and friends smile at me when I notice a few familiar people in the back that I never saw before tonight.
He’s here..with the guys..he’s really here.
I stare right at him as I continue to sing.
Forgive me, can you forgive me,
And hold me in your heart,
And find some new way to love me
Now that we’re apart?
I head over to ‘Archibald’ and finish my song on how I was instructed to.
How could I know I would never hold you?
Never again in this world but oh
Sure as you breathe I am there inside you
How…could I ever know?
How could I ever know?
The song ends and the audience roars with applause. The curtain closes as the whole cast gathers on the stage for our bow.
The curtain opens once again and everyone stands up and cheers as each person takes their bow. When it’s my turn to bow, the audience cheers louder and makes me feel accomplished of my performance. I can hear the guys shout my name in the back and it brings tears to my eyes to see Justin wave and go crazy.
Our director thanks everyone for coming out tonight and I head backstage towards my dressing room quickly to get out of my costume and into regular clothes hoping I can catch Justin before he leaves.
As I enter my room, I see a big vase of red roses sitting in front of the mirror of the drawer. I look over and admire the roses and notice on the ribbon, tied to the vases, there’s a ring there.
I realize it’s the same ring Justin proposed with over two months ago.
“You always said I was a hopeless romantic.”
I turn around to see Justin leaning against the doorway with a slight smile on his face. He walks inside slowly and takes the ring off the ribbon.
I’m in shock as he walks over to me, “Justin, I -”
“Shh..” he interrupts me. “You were amazing out there.”
“Thank you... but why are you here? How did you get here?”
“Stacy, ever since you walked out of those doors of the stadium that night, my heart’s been incomplete. I’ve been a wreck; I put a smile on my face on stage, have fun, and act like nothing’s wrong, but there is. You without me; me without you…it’s completely wrong. I did everything I could to be here tonight. I had the concert that was scheduled for tonight be moved to next week when our break is over. Luckily the tickets never went on sale in July for that day so I had time to change it. The guys completely understood and wanted to be here, too. You’re like their sister to them; they care about you.”
“Justin, I’m so sorry about that night..” I say as I begin to cry. “I realized I left something that was so rare and I hated myself for that; I still do.”
“Well you don’t have to anymore,” he begins as he gets down on one knee, “Stace, I’m gonna try this again and I hope you’ll give me the same answer…cause I know our destiny will be sealed if you say the answer I’m looking for.”
I look down at him as I continue to cry; knowing what he’s going to do.
“Stacy Elizabeth Adams…I ask you, once again, to become my wife and for us to be together for the rest of our lives,” he says as he slides the ring on my finger.
I pull him up so he’s standing, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him as my answer.
Every night, I’ve dreamt of this happening again; him being here with me. And it’s a miracle. It’s like God did whatever it took to have us be together again.
And I know this sounds cheesy…but it’s like a dream come true.
The End.
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Song credit: How Could I Ever Know--The Secret Garden
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