The song in this chapter is obviously not really Justin's, it is actually a Maroon 5 song.
Chapter Twelve
The brunette sitting on the floor whistled as a blonde emerged from her dressing room looking skeptical. “Sexy, Hollie,” she commented with a grin.
“You think?” the blonde in question asked with a skeptical frown as she surveyed herself in the mirror. “I’m not sure puke green is my color.”
Gaby nearly choked on the sip of soda she’d just taken. “Puke green? It isn’t puke green! It’s a nice lime green. Sort of.”
Hollie laughed. “Sort of? Real convincing, Gab. I do like the skirt, though. Not too long, not too short. What do you think?”
“Sexy,” Gaby repeated her previous declaration. “What do you think, Rach?” she added, seeking the opinion of their companion who had yet to comment.
“Rach?” Hollie echoed when Rachael didn’t respond, as she was too busy twirling a strand of auburn hair on her finger and staring at the wall.
“Hmm? What? Huh?” Rachael finally responded, looking at her friends and dropping her hands to the side.
Hollie pulled a face. “What is with you? You’ve been out of it all day.”
“Out of it? What do you mean? No I haven’t.” She shook her head and let out a small yawn.
“Yes you have. You refuse to try anything on, have developed a sudden interest in staring at walls, and Gaby and I have to say your name about ten times each to get you to respond. What’s up?” the blonde insisted, resting her hands on her hips.
Rachael shrugged. “Nothing’s up. I have not been that bad.”
Hollie rolled her eyes and looked at her slightly saner friend for assistance. “Gaby, help me out here.”
Gaby nodded in agreement. “She’s right, Rach. You haven’t even made fun of anyone once all day, and you keep running into doors. You’re not acting like yourself.”
“I guess I’m just tired. I haven’t been getting a whole lot of sleep lately,” she replied nonchalantly. “And I really don’t see why we have to buy new clothes just to go to Trace’s little party, anyway.”
“Because there might be hot boys, and I think you and I can both agree that we could use some hot boys in our lives,” Hollie told her with a smirk.
“Hot boys? At one of Trace’s parties? Not likely.”
“Well, Trace is hot,” Gaby commented and was immediately greeted with two unnaturally synchronized snorts from her companions. “Hey!” she protested.
“Sorry, sweetie, but Shortie just isn’t my kind of man,” the blonde replied with an evil grin. “Besides, we need to impress single hot boys.
Rachael, who had taken to examining her fingernails in detail, glanced up just long enough for her friends to catch the disgusted expression on her face. “Screw boys,” she muttered.
“Yes, that’s the idea,” Hollie replied mischievously, causing Gaby to nearly choke again and Rachael to laugh for the first time since they’d entered the store.
“I really need to stop trying to drink anything around you,” Gaby commented.
“Come on, Rach,” Hollie coaxed. “Just try some stuff on. Maybe you’ll find something you actually like.”
“It’ll be fun!” Gaby agreed, holding a pile of clothes out to her friend. “I picked these out for you when you weren’t looking. Try them on.”
Rachael took the clothes dutifully, glaring at her friends and mumbling about how she didn’t feel like trying on clothes as she made her way to the stall next to Hollie’s, stopping briefly to comment on her friend’s outfit. “I don’t think puke green is your color,” she stated thoughtfully, then shut the door as the other girls looked at each other and cracked up laughing.
***
Justin was resting his head in his hands humming softly to himself when there was a light knock on his dressing room door. He looked up, wondering who it could be. It was only twenty minutes before show time and most of the crew knew he liked to be left alone so he could warm up and gather his thoughts before the show. “Who is it?” he questioned.
“The grim reaper,” came the response and a smile spread over Justin’s face. He should have known.
“It’s open, Rach.”
The door flung open and Rachael came waltzing into the room. “Hey, loser,” she greeted him and Justin breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn’t spoken with her since Christmas Eve, and while her general reaction to awkward moments like the one they’d shared that night was to act like they’d never happened, a small part of him had been worried that she’d be angry with him and treat him differently.
“Hey,” he returned her greeting with a grin. “You look unusually done up tonight.” The white turtleneck sweater, brown corduroy skirt and knee-high leather boots she was wearing weren’t entirely non-Rachael-like things to wear, but the necklace, earrings, and make-up that accompanied them were. She was about as low-maintenance as any girl he’d ever known.
“Hollie and Gaby are very pushy people, you know that?” she questioned in response to his comment. She had finally allowed her two friends to con her into buying clothes and allowed them to do her make-up if for no other reason than to shut them up. They’d commented endlessly about how out of it she’d been all day, and she really wasn’t feeling like answering any questions. Truth be told, she’d been feeling off all week since her awkward encounter with Justin on Christmas Eve. She’d been trying to forget about it, but it really wasn’t working. Usually if she could just see him and talk to him, she could pretend it hadn’t happened and move on. But he’d been so busy all week that they hadn’t spoken once and she kept replaying that awkward moment sitting in the snow with him in her mind, trying to keep herself from hating him for making her life so complicated. But this was good. She was with him now and she could pretend to feel like a normal until she really did. “Apparently on New Year’s Eve it’s some sort of requirement to buy new clothes and wear make-up,” she continued. “How I never heard of this before now is beyond me.”
Justin laughed. “Well, you look hot if it’s any consolation.” He said it as a joke, but he really meant it. She looked beautiful. But then, it seemed she always looked beautiful to him these days.
“Oh, it definitely is,” his friend replied sarcastically, sitting down on the arm of the couch that sat in the middle of the room. “Looking hot is one of my two main goals in life.”
“What’s the other?”
“Don’t know yet. Something to do with chocolate. So, I’m excited to see this show of yours,” she added, grinning. “Seriously. I haven’t watched you perform in forever. Are you ready for it?”
Justin nodded, walking over to the couch and sitting next to her on the arm. “Yeah, you know, we’ve been rehearsing a lot and I’ve done this a million times so…”
“You’re nervous as hell,” Rachael finished his thought without even looking at him. She knew he wasn’t going to say it without her prodding, but there was no doubt that he was nervous. It was his first tour without the rest of N Sync, and his first performance since the accident. Anybody would be nervous under those circumstances.
Justin let out a sigh and a relieved laugh. “Yes I am.”
“You’ll be great,” she assured him, giving him a little nudge. “Way great.”
“Way great?” Justin repeated with a snort.
Rachael laughed. “Yes! Don’t make fun of me.”
“What goes around comes around.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You know what I’m most nervous about, though?” Justin inquired, steering the conversation away from bickering and back to an actual conversation.
“Can’t say I do.”
“I have this new song, right? This one that didn’t make the cut for the album, but I really like it because it’s really personal. So I’m thinking I’ll sing it for an encore, and…yeah.”
He was fidgeting with the rings on his finger and staring at his feet, actions that Rachael rarely saw from him. Even when he was nervous, he didn’t generally look this insecure. She’d been about to ask what the song was about, but considering he’d said it was “really personal,” she was assuming it was probably about Britney. That would account for his nervousness, as well. The fans and media were bound to spend their time analyzing the deep meanings of the song and what he was trying to say about his ex-girlfriend. Rachael reached over and took his hand into hers, giving it a light squeeze. “You’ll be fine,” she assured him. “Seriously, those people will love you no matter what you do. Screw up if you want to, they won’t care.”
“Thanks, that’s reassuring,” he replied with a laugh, and his friend just smiled as he looked down at her.
“Not that you’re going to screw up. You’re going to be awesome. I’m just saying, don’t worry so much, okay? It’ll be fine.”
Justin nodded gratefully and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Thanks.”
Rachael opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Come in!” Justin called and the door opened to reveal Hollie standing in on the other side. “Hey, Hols,” Justin greeted her with a smile.
“Hey!” the blonde replied, returning his smile. “Hope I didn’t interrupt some deep, life changing discussion or anything.”
“Nah, Justin isn’t capable of participating in such conversations,” Rachael replied. “We were just discussing his hair. It’s the only topic he understands.” She ruffled his hair affectionately for emphasis.
“Remind me again why I was glad to see you?” he countered with a pronounced frown.
“So what’s up, Hollie?” Rachael questioned, making a big show of turning away from Justin and ignoring his question.
“Oh, Gaby and Trace have wandered off some place and left me all by my lonesome, so I thought I’d come steal you away from the great Justin for some company. Is that cool?” Hollie asked as she looked at both of them for approval.
“For sure,” Rachael replied bright, standing up and turning back towards Justin. “Break a leg, loser.” She gave him a quick hug and added in a whisper, “And stop worrying so much.”
Justin thanked her again and said his good-byes to the two girls, sighing as he watched the real reason he was so nervous leave the room and shut the door behind her.
Hollie linked her arm through Rachael’s as they headed down the hall where the dressing rooms were located. “Thanks for coming with me. I felt so alone.”
Rachael laughed. “Got ditched, huh?”
“Yes. It’s just as well, I suppose. Having Gaby and Trace around making googly eyes at each other probably wouldn’t do much for my ‘woe is me, I am alone,’ mood.”
“I know what you mean,” Rachael replied with a forlorn sigh. “How about I be your date tonight?”
Hollie laughed. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll have the hottest date in the room.”
“No, I will. But thanks. Hi!” Rachael exclaimed in surprise as she spotted the lean man approaching them.
“Hey, Rachael!” JC replied with a grin. “How’s it going?”
“It’s going,” she replied, reaching up and hugging him. “What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t make it?”
“Last minute change of plans, so I flew in. I figured at least one N Sync guy ought to be here for Justin’s big night.”
“That’s great! He’ll be so happy to see you. Trace is having a party afterwards. You coming?”
“Most definitely.”
“Great! Oh! Sorry!” Rachael suddenly realized that she had failed to introduce the blonde on her arm. “JC, have you met Hollie?” The man furrowed his brow as though trying to remember, but Hollie responded for him.
“Once, at a party a long time ago. You probably don’t remember,” she told him, blushing slightly.
“No, I do! You’re Gaby’s friend, right?” JC inquired.
Hollie nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“Yeah, I remember. It’s nice to see you again. Anyway, I’m gonna go wish Justin luck and then I’ll probably be skulking around in the shadows somewhere during the show. I’ll see you two at the party, okay?”
“Yeah, for sure,” Rachael replied cheerily and waved as he walked off. She turned to look at Hollie who was staring at JC’s back with her mouth slightly open and cheeks still somewhat redder than usual.
“God, he’s beautiful,” Hollie muttered to herself.
“You’re blushing,” Rachael replied.
“Am not,” Hollie replied, narrowing her eyes slightly and continuing on her way down the hall.
“Are too,” Rachael replied with a grin. “He’s single, you know.”
“Oh?” the blonde said, trying far too hard to sound nonchalant.
“Yep. And stop trying to pretend you don’t care.”
***
“Thank you, Memphis!” Justin called out to the crowd, a genuine smile plastered on his face. He’d reached the end of his set and the audience was going crazy. He’d missed this feeling so much. The rush of performing could not be matched by anything else he’d ever done. He ran offstage, and took a few gulps of water before grabbing his guitar and returning to the stage when the screams and applause didn’t die down. He could see Rachael and Hollie beaming at him from the front row like a couple of proud mothers and gave them a grin. “Okay, okay,” he said, waving his free arm in an attempt to quiet the fans down. They finally began to do so as he sat down on a stool and adjusted his guitar strap. “Since y’all have been so kick ass tonight, I’ve decided to sing one more song for ya. How’s that sound?” The crowd responded with their usual screams and he laughed. “This is a song that’s very special to me, because it’s one of the first songs I wrote for this album, but unfortunately it didn’t make the cut. So, y’all are the first to hear it. It’s called ‘She Will Be Loved.’ I hope you like it.” He bit down on his lip slightly as he began strumming the opening chords, trying to ignore the knots in his stomach. He tried to forget about everyone, especially the girl with the auburn hair in the front row. The last thing he needed was for her to realize who the song was about and he knew if he looked at her she’d know right away. She was irritating like that. Finally, he took a deep breath and began to sing.
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
I don’t mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain.
He finally forced himself to look at the brown eyes he’d been avoiding as he sang the last line, “Please don’t try so hard to say good-bye.” She was staring back at him, her expression halfway between confused and scared. He saw her whisper something in Hollie’s ear, then begin to push her way to the end of the aisle and towards the door.
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