Chapter Twenty-Two
Rachael had never been so glad to return to San Francisco and the only people in her life who did not seem bent on trying to convince her she was in love with Justin Randall Timberlake. Just as she'd hoped, Laura was just as pro-Lance as ever and Brian was even more indifferent about her love life than usual. It was exactly what she needed: an oasis from all the crazy people - specifically Hollie, Gaby and Justin - who resided in Los Angeles. She had to go back in a week for the Grammy's, but she figured that given a week to cool down perhaps they would have all realized how insane they were.
Having had a lot of practice being in denial throughout the 22 years of her life, Rachael shouldn't have been finding her current situation particularly difficult. She hadn't spoken with any of the crazy people in question at any time within the past two days and with going to work, classes, and doing homework she was able to keep herself pretty distracted. But then at night when she went to bed, she kept replaying the conversations in her mind. She heard Justin telling her that he loved her and adored her and that he wanted to be with her; then she heard Hollie and Gaby in stereo insisting that she'd been in love with him for years, and no matter how much she tried to make them go away they kept coming back. It didn't get any better when she fell asleep and kept dreaming about that kiss. That wonderful, perfect, amazing kiss that was better than any other kiss she'd ever experienced. And that was including all the other times she'd kissed him, which was saying something. She'd finally forced herself to stop thinking about it while she was conscious - it had taken some doing, but she'd done it - but it still kept finding its annoying way into her head when she was asleep. If it weren't for that she probably would have been quite happy, but the resurgance of that kiss in her mind everytime she so much as closed her eyes was making it very difficult for her to continue believing she'd done the right thing telling Justin she only wanted to be friends with him. Not that it was impossible of course. Nothing was impossible when Rachael Jacques was bent on convincing herself of something. And she was definitely bent on convincing herself she'd done the right thing.
"Brian, why is my life so weird?" Rachael inquired. She'd said it as though it were a perfectly natural question to be asking and he reacted similarly. He was used to random outbursts like this when it came to her.
"You tell me," he replied, shrugging and focusing on the notes he was reviewing. They had a test coming up at the end of the week and were attempting to study in the coffee shop on campus before Rachael had to clock in and go to work in the very same shop. Of course, Rachael was in fact not studying, but rather standing with one foot rested on a chair as she ranted and raved about something Brian wasn't really paying attention to. He was beginning to wonder why he ever tried to study when she was in the vicinity as it clearly never worked.
"I can't tell you. I don't know. That's why I asked."
"Well don't look at me. I'm failing Psych 250 here."
"Are you really?" Rachael eyed him for a minute and he glanced up at her, then shook his head before returning to his notes. "I suppose you want me to leave you alone so you can study."
"You're a smart girl." Brian tapped his temple and Rachael couldn't help but laugh. This was why she loved Brian: he was pretty much the only person these days who would almost pay her not to talk about Justin or Lance and he never gave advice unless she asked for it. And sometimes he wouldn't even give it then. She was glad to have him around so she could have a normal conversation with someone. Well, normal by her standards anyway.
"Hey! It's Rachael right?" A semi-familiar voice interrupted their conversation and both heads turned to see who it belonged to. A short 20-something man with wavy black hair and striking green eyes was smiling at them expectantly and her brow furrowed as she tried to remember where she'd seen him before.
"Oh, hi!" she exclaimed when it hit her. "Yeah, Rachael. That's me. And you're...Sam?" She could only hope she was remembering correctly. She'd only met him briefly and that had been nearly a month ago.
"Yeah. I'm surprised you remembered." He was still smiling and Brian was eyeing him suspiciously as he tried to decide whether or not he approved of this random man walking up and interrupting their "studying."
"So am I," Rachael admitted with a laugh. "By the way, this is my friend Brian. Brian, this is Sam. I knocked into him at the beginning of the semester and made him throw his books everywhere."
"That was kind of you," Brian replied dryly and Sam chuckled as Rachael poked her tongue out at her friend.
"Hey, man. Nice to meet you." The two men shook hands. "Well, it looks like you two are trying to get some studying done, so I'll leave you alone. Nice seeing you again, Rachael. And nice meeting you Brian." They all said their goodbyes and Rachael turned back to Brian, raising an eyebrow and sliding into the chair she'd been leaning on for the past twenty minutes.
"That was weird," she commented. She didn't really mean it in a bad way, just that it had been odd. It was always a little strange running into to someone you'd met someplace bet never really known. Brian shrugged.
"He seemed nice enough. I like that he knows when to leave people alone to study. You would do well to take a page out of his book." He looked at her pointedly and she just cackled as he once again tried to focus on his studying. Deciding to give him at least a few minutes of silence, Rachael set her elbows on the table and leaned her head in her hands, closing her eyes. Bad decision. The second she did it, Justin and his stupid good-kisser self invaded her mind again. She could almost feel his lips on hers and his fingers running up and down her back soothingly. This was bad. This was very bad.
***
"Rachael, it's the Grammy's!" Laura exclaimed. "You can't just go in some random dress you found in a store."
"Sure I can," Rachael countered with a shrug as the two walked down a busy San Francisco street, gazing in store windows. "Everyone else there will have gotten their dresses straight from a designer. No one goes out and buys them, so it isn't like I'll end up wearing the same dress as someone else. Besides I can't afford some horribly expensive Versace crap. I did it this way every time I went with Justin." Even speaking his name caused a weird knot to form in her stomach. She needed to stop bringing him up or Laura would undoubtedly notice she was mentioning him practically every other word. Her brain seemed to be working overtime to defy her; the harder she worked to not think about him, the more he found his way into her thoughts. This was all Hollie and Gaby's fault, she was sure of it. She made a mental note to pummel them the next time she saw them.
"Lance said he'd pay for your dress if you wanted," Laura reminded her and Rachael groaned.
"I don't want him paying for my dress when I can just find a reasonably priced one here. That would be stupid." She rolled her eyes as if to illustrate just how stupid it was. "Justin always did the same thing and I always refused to let him pay." Damn. There he was again. "And here we are!" Rachael disappeared into the shop, grateful to have a distraction from talking. It was a small, family owned dress shop she'd discovered nestled between two Starbucks a while back when she was trying to find a dress for a wedding. The family designed and made most of the dresses, so they were beautiful and unique, but they didn't charge an arm and a leg for them like the big name designers did.
"Hello, Miss Jacques!" Rachael was greeted by one of the owners, an elderly lady called Mrs. Davidson. She'd been in the store enough times for the owners and employees to recognize her when she showed up.
"Hi, Mrs. Davidson. How have you been?" Rachael smiled warmly and gave a small wave as Laura stepped into the shop behind her.
"Just fine, dear. Just fine. And who is your friend?"
"Oh, this is my roommate Laura. Laura, this is Mrs. Davidson. She owns the place." Rachael introduced the two women and they shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.
"Why didn't you bring that nice young man with you this time?" Mrs. Davidson questioned with a teasing pout and Rachael blushed involuntarily. The older lady was referring to Justin, of course. The last two times she'd been in here it had been looking for a dress for one of his awards shows and he'd accompanied her. Why did people have to keep bringing him up? She was beginning to suspect that God was against her and she was trying to figure out what she'd done to piss him off.
"Oh, he's too busy to come dress hunting with me these days." She laughed nervously as she adjusted the way her sunglasses were sitting on top of her head.
"That's too bad. You two made such a cute couple." Yep. God definitely hated her. She forced a smile.
"Thanks. We're just gonna browse for a little while, is that okay?"
"Of course, dear. You let me know if you need anything, all right?"
"Sure thing, Mrs. Davidson." Rachael made a break for the racks of dresses so she could hide her face, which was still being stupid and red without her permission. Laura followed, frowning slightly.
"What nice young man?" she questioned.
"Hmm?" Rachael replied as though she hadn't heard. She had.
"She asked about the 'nice young man' you usually bring with you. Does she mean Justin?" Laura was eyeing her roommate apprehensively and Rachael was looking at a bright turquiose dress they both knew she would never wear.
"Oh, yeah." Rachael waved a hand trying to seem nonchalant. "He came here with me a couple of times."
"Mmm." Laura nodded in understanding. "You didn't correct her." Rachael looked up from the dress and gave her friend an inquisitive look.
"What?"
"Usually when someone calls Justin your boyfriend or comments on what a cute couple you are, you'll be the first to correct them. You didn't correct her," Laura explained, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. Laura and Brian had left Justin's party not long after it started, since they wanted to get back to San Francisco as soon as possible, and she was beginning to suspect something big had happened between then and when Rachael had returned home the next day. Something had been off about her the past couple of days, Laura just couldn't put her finger on what it was.
"Oh." Rachael shrugged and mentally searched for an appropriate response. Laura was right, she hadn't corrected the mistake. What was that supposed to mean? She had no idea. And now her face was going red again as she started stuttering. "I-I guess I'm, um...I'm just so used to it now that I don't even bother correcting it anymore," she reasoned. "This is nice, isn't it?" She held up the first dress within her reach and it turned out to be a particularly disgusting bright red color with a the least flattering neckline she'd ever seen. The Davidsons had some beautiful dresses, but they had some pretty hideous ones as well. Laura raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, it matches your face," she replied bluntly, referring to the crimson color that continued to grace Rachael's cheeks. She was about to ask what the hell was up with her when Rachael's cell phone let out an obnoxious ring. Thinking that maybe the powers that be were finally being nice to her and giving her a way out of an awkward conversation, Rachael answered it immediately without even bothering to look at the caller ID.
"This is Rachael, who are you?" she greeted the lucky caller.
"Hey, Rach! It's me." Oh. It was Lance. Normally she would have been happy to hear from him, and talking to him about the Grammy's would have been fun, but the past two days she got a really sick, guilty feeling in her stomach everytime she spoke with him. That was ridiculous of course, but then what in the past few days had not been ridiculous? Regardless, it was a very disconcerting feeling and she didn't like it.
"Hi, Lancey." She tried to sound cheerful. "What's up?"
"Nothing really. I'm off to a meeting for one of the new artists I'm managing and I thought I'd just call and say 'hi.' How are you doing?"
"Fine, thanks. Just dress shopping with Laura."
"Oh, yeah?" Her stomach churned as he sounded so earnest and excited. Why did she feel so guilty? So she'd kissed Justin. Big deal. Lance wasn't her boyfriend and they weren't even dating, really. They were just going as friends and besides, she'd already worked that whole kiss thing out with Justin and they were just friends too. It wasn't a big deal. Someone needed to let her stomach in on that little fact.
"Yeah. Um...listen, I better go. Gotta focus." She let out a little laugh that she hoped sounded convincing.
"Okay. I'll talk to you later then?"
"Yeah, of course. Talk to you later."
"Okay. Bye, Rach."
"Bye Lance." Rachael let out a sigh as she turned her phone off and tossed it back into her bag. Turning back to Laura, she found the brunette still staring at her, her eyes remaining narrowed and hands resting on her hips.
"What is up with you?"
"Oh, god, don't you start on me. Nothing is up with me."
"Something is up with you."
"No! Nothing is up." Rachael grabbed a long black dress from one of the racks, hoping it was the right size and headed towards the dressing room. "I'm going to try this on." And with that, she disappeared from Laura's sight and hoped that when she emerged there would be no more questions to answer.
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