The song in this chapter is not mine, it is "The Sun" by Maroon 5.
Chapter Six
“Excuse me,” Rachael said for what felt like the millionth time that day. It was around 1:30 on Thanksgiving afternoon and she had just arrived at the airport in Memphis. The place was packed and she’d run into so many people, she figured it had to be some sort of world record. It had taken her forever to get her luggage and she was now searching for whomever was being sent to pick her up. She scanned the crowd for her mother or Justin, but didn’t see one familiar face among the masses. “Well, this is off to a good start,” she muttered to herself, readjusting her carry on bag as it began to slide off her shoulder.
“Rachael!” she finally heard someone call, causing her to turn her head and search for the owner of the voice. Her eyes fell on her cousin John who was waving wildly at her trying to get her attention. She waved back and made her way over to him.
“Hey, John! How are you, my love?” she greeted him with a grin and gave him a quick hug. Although her mother had always said it wasn’t a good idea to play favorites among relatives, John had always been by far her favorite cousin.
“I’m great, how are you?” he replied, smiling back and taking her suitcase from her.
“Oh, not bad. Really tired of having people run into me or step on my feet. I must be invisible or something,” she commented with a roll of the eyes as they made their way out of the airport and to the parking lot.
John laughed. “No, just painfully short.”
“Ugh, have you been talking to Justin again?” Rachael groaned in response, sliding into the passenger seat of her cousin’s car. Justin loved to make fun of her height, although at 5’5”, she hardly felt she deserved to be mocked.
“Unfortunately, yes I have. He’s been at your house all morning, trying to beat David at Super Smash Brothers. Trying and failing, I might add,” John informed her with a laugh. David was his 16-year-old brother, and one of Rachael’s many other cousins.
Rachael snorted. “I could have told him not to challenge David. That kid can kick anyone’s ass with his eyes closed.”
“I know he can and tried warning J, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“So, speaking of Justin, why didn’t he or my mom come to pick me up?”
“Well, your mother is hard at work in the kitchen and it was the general consensus of both households that Justin showing his face in a crowded airport without security would probably not be the best idea, so I was nominated to come pick you up.”
“You mean you didn’t volunteer? That pains me, John.”
“Well, you know, given the chance I may have volunteered but it was just an immediate, ‘John, go pick up your cousin!’” John told her, imitating his mother’s voice perfectly.
Rachael snorted. “Wow, that’s uncanny. You sound exactly like your mother.”
“Ah, just what every good son wants to hear.”
“I’m sure. So, tell me, is my house overrun by O’Briens yet or is there still some semblance of order?”
“Nah, it’s not overrun quite yet. For now it’s just your mom, my parents, and my brother and sister. The rest of the family isn’t coming until later. So you’ll probably have at least a couple of seconds to rest when you get there before being attacked by relatives.” This statement was accompanied by a cheeky grin as though John really didn’t think there was any hope of his cousin resting before being attacked by said relatives. “Although, Justin’s been talking all morning about how excited he is to see you and that he’s really glad he thought of this joint Thanksgiving thing. He’s acting like a 12-year-old at Christmas.”
Rachael’s face lit up slightly at hearing this information. Despite the fact that Justin had called and asked her to come home for Thanksgiving, she still hadn’t been convinced that he wasn’t going to continue to act strangely around her. “Really?” she asked.
“No, I just made it up,” her cousin replied sarcastically. “Yes, really. And damn girl, I’ve never seen a smile spread across your face so quickly. Are you as overly excited about seeing your other half as he is about seeing you?”
A deep shade of crimson spread across Rachael’s face as she shifted her gaze to the window and shrugged her shoulders. “Not really, no. And since when do we refer to him as my ‘other half?’”
“Since you were about seven. Grandpa always called him that, remember? Cause we couldn’t seem to get you at a family gathering without him tagging along. God, that was annoying.”
Rachael nodded, her gaze still fixed on the houses whizzing by as they sped down the road. “Yeah, I remember.”
***
Rachael stepped through the front door of her mother’s house in Millington, Tennessee for the first time in months. “I’m here!” she yelled as John made his way inside and shut the door behind her. There was no response, so the two cousins followed the sounds of yelling that were coming from the family room in the back of the house.
“Damn it!” Justin was exclaiming as they entered the room. He and David were seated on the couch, engaged in a very competitive game of Super Smash Brothers. It was obvious from the look of frustration on Justin’s face and the smug smile on David’s that the younger boy was winning. David just cackled before finishing Justin’s character off.
“Hey, kids!” Rachael greeted them. No response.
“You little bastard!” Justin exclaimed incredulously, staring at the screen in shock.
“Hi, Rach,” David finally said, not even bothering to look at her.
“Hi, David. Still defending your title of Super Smash Brothers world champion, I see.” Her cousin nodded.
It was at this moment that it finally seemed to dawn on Justin that his best friend had just walked in the door and his head shot up so quickly she was sure he’d just caused himself at least a mild case of whiplash. “Rach! Hi!” he exclaimed.
Rachael smiled nervously, feeling strangely awkward. “Hey,” she replied. Justin opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by Rachael’s mother and aunt entering the room and swooping down upon her.
“Rachael, honey, how was your flight?”
“You look pale, dear! Have you been eating?”
“I’m so glad you made it here safely. I told your mother that it wasn’t safe for you to be flying by yourself, but she wouldn’t listen to me and I just could not have any peace of mind until you were safely on the ground.”
“Oh, Gwen, don’t make such a fuss! She’s an adult, she can take care of herself. Although, I still maintain she doesn’t look as though she’s been eating properly,” Rachael’s mother added with a frown, causing her daughter to roll her eyes slightly.
“I quite agree. Come with us into the kitchen, dear, and we’ll get you fattened up,” her aunt agreed whole-heartedly. “And John, be an angel and take Rachael’s things up to her room.” Before any of their children had a chance to protest, Gwen had shoved Rachael’s bags in her son’s face as both she and Katie dragged Rachael into the kitchen with them. Rachael glanced back at Justin, who was watching the situation with a clearly disappointed expression on his face. She gave him an apologetic smile before she disappeared into the black hole that was her mother’s kitchen.
***
After school
Walking home
Fresh dirt under my fingernails
And I can smell hot asphalt
Cars screech to a halt to let me pass
And I cannot remember
What life was like through photographs
Trying to recreate images life gives us from our past
Rolling over on her bed, Rachael reached over to turn down the volume on her stereo. After an hour of being stuck in her mother’s kitchen listening to ever detail of every little thing that had happened in Millington in her absence, she had finally broken free. She’d hoped that she would finally get a chance to talk to Justin, as he was essentially the reason she was there, but by this time he had returned to his own home to help his mother prepare for their multitude of guests. No one could ever say that Justin’s fame had changed Lynn’s view of him, that was for sure. She still loved him and listened to him, and she certainly hadn’t developed any qualms about putting him to work whenever she needed him.
So Rachael had retreated to her room, locked the door, and turned up her music loud enough that it could drown out the yelling of her cousins, who seemed to be debating which of them should take out the garbage for Rachael’s mother. That had been at least half an hour ago, and she was now lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about anything and everything. Wondering how Brian and Laura were doing, wondering if Lance was having a good Thanksgiving, and most recently, thinking about the song that was playing and how she was suddenly finding it oddly depressing.
But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have
Gone through
And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battle’s almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun
“Only several miles from the sun?” she muttered to herself grumpily. “What the hell does that have to do with anything, anyway?” She sat up and changed the CD, not at all in the mood for metaphors and anxious to find something a little less thought provoking. Settling back down, she closed her eyes and let the sounds of Hanson’s “Mmmbop” fill the room.
“God help us all!” John’s voice came from the hall, obviously in response to his cousin’s choice of music.
“Screw you!” Rachael called back with a laugh, not bothering to open her eyes. She heard her cousin chuckle as his footsteps disappeared down the hall and out the front door. This was followed by a knock on Rachael’s door and her mother popped her head in without waiting for an answer, as is the way of the mother.
“Rachael, we’re all heading over next door now, are you coming?” Katie questioned.
Rachael shook her head. “Nah, I think I’ll stay here and rest for a bit longer, I’m a little worn out from the flight. I’ll be over in a bit.”
“Okay, sweetie, but don’t be too long. Dinner’s in half an hour.” Rachael nodded silently, closing her eyes once more as her mother shut the door and feeling highly annoyed that despite the change of music, the previous song was still playing in her head.
Moving on down the street
I see people I won't ever meet
Think of her, take a breath
Feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps
And sometimes it's a sad song
***
The Harless household was more full of activity than it had been in a long time, if ever. All of the O’Briens had arrived as well as Lynn’s parents and some of Paul’s family. The children had all congregated in one of the guest rooms where Justin had set up his X Box for them, the men had gathered in the living room to honor the timeless American tradition of watching football and yelling at the television, and most of the women were in the kitchen finishing up the Thanksgiving dinner. The only person who had yet to be seen all day was Rachael. Justin was rather disappointed that he hadn’t been able to speak to her at all yet, when he’d only suggested this joint Thanksgiving dinner as a vehicle for his attempts to repair his friendship with Rachael. He wandered into the kitchen, settling into a chair at the table in an attempt to stay out of the way of the women who swarmed around preparing food.
“Hey, sweetie,” his mother greeted him with a smile. “I thought you were playing X Box with the kids?”
Justin sighed, a look of defeat passing over his face. “I’ve sworn off playing any sort of video game if David is involved. The kid whoops my ass at everything, and I have a reputation to maintain here.”
Lynn laughed. “You’ve met your match.”
“Yeah, and it’s a 16-year-old punk.”
“Well, he is Rachael’s cousin. And since she can hold her own against you in pretty much anything, it makes sense that her relatives would have the same abilities,” his mother stated with a wry smile.
Justin would probably have slightly resented this comment, but his mother’s remark about Rachael brought the fact that she was still not there to the front of his mind. “Where is Rachael?” he questioned. “Is she here yet?”
“She’s still at home taking a nap,” Katie informed him, having caught snippets of the conversation as she stood by, taking rolls out of the oven and putting more in. “She should be here soon, though. I told her it wouldn’t be much longer until dinner.”
As if on cue, a number of voices in the next room chorused in a loud, “Hey!” signaling Rachael’s arrival. Justin practically jumped off his seat and bolted into the living room, hoping to get to her before her relatives could occupy all of her time as they had done before. No such luck. Rachael was already surrounded by her aunts and uncles and it was mere minutes before she was sandwiched between her cousin John and Uncle Ronan on the couch, yelling at the referees on the television and randomly singing Irish drinking songs at what they apparently thought were opportune moments. She caught his eye for a split second and gave him a wide grin before turning back to her uncle and whispering something in his ear, causing his booming laugh to fill the room. Fortunately, minutes later the call of “Dinner’s ready!” rang throughout the house and the television was abandoned as everyone clamored towards the dining room. In the commotion, Justin finally made his way over to Rachael. “Hey,” he said simply, coming up behind her.
“Hey, dork,” she replied, looking up and him with a smile and giving him a playful sock in the arm. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Thanks. Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like abuse,” he replied, rubbing his arm and feigning a pained expression.
“That’s my theory. And that did not even hurt, so don’t be starting with that pout, Timberlake.” Rachael rolled her eyes as she saw the puppy eyes forming on Justin’s face.
“What pout?”
“You know what pout. Stop being a turd.”
“You know, I’m starting to wonder why I missed you.”
“Because you love me,” Rachael told him, flashing a grin before moving away and taking her place in between two of her cousins, leaving Justin to find a seat across from her.
***
The night wore on and Rachael felt that it was one of the longest in Thanksgiving history. She was glad to spend time with her family, but she barely got to talk to her best friend at all and when she did, their seemingly normal conversation became increasingly laced with the tension that was caused by their inability to talk about the huge gap that had developed between them in the last year. The weirdest part about it was that it seemed to be a fluctuating gap. One moment it was there, the next it wasn’t and they were completely fine. Unfortunately, it seemed to be showing up more often than usual tonight.
“All right,” Lynn Harless began as everyone sat around the living room later that night. “I think it’s time we all went around and said one thing we’re thankful for.” And so they did. Rachael sat only half listening as those around her talked about how financially blessed they were, or happy they were for their family, or how much they appreciated the opportunities they’d been given. They were the calculated answers she heard every year. Finally it was her turn. “Rach, what are you thankful for?” Lynn questioned sweetly.
“Um, I don’t know,” Rachael began thoughtfully, glancing around the room. Her eyes fell on Justin, who was on the other side of the room, and lingered for a minute before she spoke again. “I guess I’m just really thankful for everyone in this room, because you all mean a lot to me. But I’m especially thankful for Justin, because he’s the best friend I’ve ever had, and we nearly lost him earlier this year, and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. So…yeah, that’s what I’m thankful for,” she finished quickly, feeling slightly embarrassed. She shifted her gaze to her hands, hoping that they would just move on and not all start going on about how sweet that was or anything of that nature. She didn’t expect the derisive snort that followed and her head shot up.
“Dude, why don’t you two just jump each other and be done with it?” David asked in annoyance.
“David!” his sister Bree exclaimed in horror.
“What? They’ve been sitting here all night making googly eyes at each other anyway!”
“Shut up!” Rachael replied, thoroughly irritated with her younger cousin’s indiscretion.
“Rach, it’s what everyone’s thinking anyway. Why don’t you just be done with us and save us all a lot of time and junk?”
“David! Shut up!” both Bree and Rachael exclaimed in unison. It was then that Rachael noticed Justin had left the room and she stood up to go after him. “Good job, dimwit,” she spat at her cousin, smacking him upside the head as she walked past him.
“I’m just saying…” his voice trailed off behind her.
Rachael silently left the house and made her way through the dark backyard, heading for the spot she knew Justin had probably sought refuge in. Tromping through the forest that sat behind the house, she finally arrived at an old bridge over a babbling brook. Just as she predicted, a tall lanky figure sat there, his legs hanging over the side. She sat down next to him and sighed as she leaned her chin against the rail.
“J, I’m sorry about David. He’s been sneaking sips of Uncle Ronan’s beer all night, so he isn’t exactly as sober as he’d like us to think.”
Justin shook his head, his gaze remaining fixed on the river. “Not a big deal.”
Rachael nodded, eyeing him for a minute, before turning her own eyes to the river and thinking about how long it had been since she’d been there. It had always been Justin’s place to go and think and since he was rarely around Millington anymore, as was she, she hadn’t had much of a reason to go there in years.
But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have
Gone through
And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
After a long silence that was filled with awkwardness, as their silences never were, Rachael finally spoke again. “Justin…are we okay? You and me?”
“What do you mean?” he replied, his voice still fairly emotionless and his gaze never leaving the water. It was obvious to her that he was thinking about something, but she didn’t know what.
“Oh, you know what I mean. Our friendship is so screwed up right now, and I hate it. I mean, you know I like to pretend nothing’s wrong as much as the next person-“
“Or more,” her friend interrupted, a small smile creeping onto his face.
Rachael narrowed her eyes at him slightly, but continued speaking as though it hadn’t fazed her. “But something is wrong. We can’t talk to each other like we used to, there’s this awkwardness that I hate, and you act like you don’t want to be around me half the time. And I can’t just pretend it’s not there anymore. We have to do something about it or our friendship is going to fall apart and that’s…bad.”
“You’re very articulate tonight.”
“Shut up. I’m supposed to be the one who makes insults your intelligence, not the other way around. Don’t forget your place.”
Justin laughed for the first time since the beginning of the conversation, relaxing Rachael and allowing some semblance of a smile to appear on her face as well. “You’re right,” Justin stated. “Things are weird. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
Rachael sighed, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger absentmindedly. “I just want things to be the way they used to be, you know?”
Justin nodded. “Yeah, I do.” He couldn’t help noticing that neither of them seemed ready to broach the subject of why things were different now. They both knew what had changed it, but that was a part of the issue that Rachael seemed quite keen to continue pretending hadn’t happened.
“Okay, here’s the thing,” Rachael began, turning to face her counterpart and crossing her legs.
“What’s the thing?”
“Look at me, or I can’t tell you the thing.” Justin turned to face her and she continued talking. “I really meant what I said in there, okay? You are my best friend and I am so thankful to have you in my life. So I just want you to promise me that we’ll always be friends and not to let any of this other stupid stuff get in the way. No more weirdness, no more awkwardness, just you and me, like it used to be.”
Justin looked into her eyes, feeling a slight knot of sadness in his stomach, though he was unsure what it stemmed from. “Yeah, okay.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
“Friends forever?”
“God, Rachael-“
“Promise! You’ve forced me to make this same promise, so it’s my turn to twist your arm. Come on, promise me. Friends forever.”
“Okay. Friends forever, I promise.”
“Good. Okay.” She folded her legs under herself, getting ready to stand up. She looked at her friend one last time and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I love you, Justin,” she whispered and planted a small kiss on his cheek, her lips lingering slightly before she stood and walked away. Justin’s hand moved instinctively to the place she had kissed.
“Just friends,” he whispered to himself.
The rhythm of her conversation
The perfection of her creation
The sex she slipped into my coffee
The way she felt when she first saw me
Hate to love and love to hate her
Like a broken record player
Back and forth and here and gone
And on and on and on and on
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