In all reality, Chris didn't love Dani as much as they thought. Never did. He used, and he always felt the slightest bit of guilt, his relationship with her to hide his too obvious feelings for a certain someone else. He never told Dani, though he suspected she found out some kind of way thus causing the break up in the first place.
He'd done the required moping. Pissy moods, curt words, avoiding people if at all possible. But mostly that was all because he'd lost his cover up. Now when he tried to sneak in surreptitious glances towards Lance he couldn't say something like, "Dani and I talked about doing a threesome and I'm scoping out for trustworthy hotties who might be good in bed," or "Please Bass, if you think I'm looking at you then you're obviously checking out my ass." He'd thought about the former seriously on numerous occasions, but was pretty sure that on the rare event when two guys were involved the girl was supposed to be the center of attention. If Lance indeed were the other guy Chris just knew that he'd forget Dani were there.
Surprisingly enough the age thing had never been an issue, and Chris had enough confidence that he wasn't too worried about rejection. That only heightened when Lance declared his suspected relationship with one of the roadies to be true, that of course proving everyone's suspicions to be right. It was one of those things you just knew were true, but really didn't. About midway through the thing with Dani the two broke up and Chris took it upon himself to cheer Lance up even though he almost always headed for Joey before anyone else. Chris thought that maybe that's when Dani clued in on things.
So when you get right down to it, it was all about waiting for the right moment. He couldn't ask too soon, so he allowed enough time for post break up mourning before he started making any moves.
~*~
Lance was working one some stuff that Chris really didn't care one way or the other about on the bus a few days after he showed the guys that he was clearly over Dani. Joey'd smiled while JC fluttered around about being so happy that he was okay. Justin, who knew about it all from the beginning, talked more to Dani instead because "that was really fucked up what you did. But it's okay, I guess, I didn't like her all that much anyway." Chris didn't argue because Justin was right, and they continued on about some random thing because they talked about so much nowadays.
Chris, never one to undermine himself, casually moved Lance's laptop, ignoring all the complaints, and sat down right on Lance's lap. After wrapping his arms securely around Lance's neck, he said,
"So Mr. Southern Hospitality," to which Lance rolled his eyes and sighed, "I'm a free agent now." Lance just stared at Chris, who wiggled. "So when are we gonna hook up?"
"I see you're back to your old self."
"Yup. Ready and raring to go."
"Wonderful." Lance then proceeded to push Chris flat on his ass and walked to the bunk area, sliding the door shut and hooking the latch. Chris smiled.
"Shouldn't do that too often Lance, unless we're in the process of having sex. I don't mind it a little rough."
"Fuck off," came the muffled reply.
"Better be glad you didn't hurt the Fine Kirkpatrick Ass." When there was no answer Chris took the liberty of trying to download porn on Lance's laptop only to remember that he was on the bus. He looked at Lance's skanky boy porn instead.
~*~
Chris watched everything Lance did with hungry eyes. From rehearsals to sound checks to interviews, which got him in trouble a few times with management. He continued on, though, undeterred. They said it would give people the wrong idea. The same idea he wanted everybody to have. Chris wanted Lance Bass and hoped to someday consummate the relationship through hours of hot sex.
Of course there was the fact that Chris was indeed in love with Lance. He had to make sure to throw that into the mix. It wasn't the love at first sight kind of thing, though. Chris jumped into everything else, but he was careful about who he gave his heart to. Bethany Miller got it because she was his first. Trent Dickerson got it because he was his first a few years later. The guys all had it by the time they were ready to go to Europe. Dani got it, too, but not in the way she wanted. His mother and sisters can go without say. Chris knew lots of people. Compared to that he was pretty stingy with his feelings.
Lance, however, the little fart, unwillingly used his southern charm to worm his way into a special place. Chris never fought it, saw right away that Lance was going to have his way and wasn't afraid at all to let it happen.
"It's all your fault you know," Chris was saying while he strolled across Lance's hotel room. He'd let himself in with the extra key card. Lance was lying on the plush hotel bed watching TV. Chris was mildly surprised that he wasn't tapping away on his laptop.
"And what, exactly, is my fault?" He didn't look up from the TV.
"That I want you so much," Chris answered as if it should be common knowledge. Lance stared at him for a long time before saying anything.
"And how is that?" Chris noted the amusement in his voice and thought that was a good sign, possibly not.
"It's obvious Bass. Flaunting around here like it's nobody's business ever since you came out. I see you flirting with the staff. Not to mention the guys who've been flying in and out of your room whenever we come back from clubbin'. I've seen you leave with plenty a hot, dark haired, short man. Well let me tell you, man, there's no substitute for this right here." Chris pointed to himself. "And you're in luck. I'm offering the full package, and I do mean full, right now, no strings attached." Chris whispered behind his hand, "Excuse the pun."
By the time Chris was done Lance was in near hysterics. Chris honestly didn't see what was so funny. He waited until Lance settled down. Just before he could ask what his problem was Lance said,
"Dude, what the hell?" Chris thought he saw tears in Lance's eye.
"What?" Chris deadpanned, "I don't see anything wrong."
"Oh god, I do. First of all, I do not flirt that openly with the staff." Chris snorted. "Secondly, I don't bring that many guys back with me. And then that would only count for the times I go out." He looked at Chris through narrowed eyes. "How would you know anyway? Most of the time we don't even go to the same club." Of course Chris knew this was true, but he ignored the fact. "Third, I fuck my fair share blonds, too, and the occasional red head if I'm lucky." Chris briefly considered dying his hair, or just getting the tips done again. Maybe. "Lastly, who said I just started all of that shit after I came out to you guys?" Chris thought carefully about his answer.
"I always knew your ass was queer!" Chris pointed an accusing finger. "The sweet, shy boy from Mississippi act was too much." Lance just laughed some more. "It was just too good to be true. The manners, the accent, the cooking skills."
"Joey."
"Is an exception," Chris finished, although it was clear that one word was Lance's argument.
"Lots of people have good manners. JC has good manners."
"That spaz? JC doesn't count. And don't even think about saying Justin." Lance didn't. "God knows I love the boy to death, but damn." Chris was reminded of the times Justin would chew with his mouth open, making this obnoxious sound that would make his skin crawl. Or how he has no respect for locked doors.
"The accent thing. I was raised in the south. There's no way of avoiding it, dumb ass." Chris rolled his eyes and smiled.
"Excuses, excuses, excuses." Chris crawled over the bed. "Above all of that shit, I think I've made my point pretty clear. Can we get to the sex now?" Instead of waiting for an answer, he straddled Lance's waist and leaned in.
Next thing he knew he was on the floor flat on his ass, and his head hurt like a mother fucker. He thought maybe he'd hit the nightstand on the way down. "Fuck, Lance! What's your problem?"
"What's yours?" Lance didn't sound mad. Chris ignored the giggling he thought he heard.
"My problem? Well for one this fucking concussion. And the fact that I want your hot body and you won't give it to me."
Lance just laughed. Through blurry eyes, Chris watched him walk out of the room.
~*~
So the straight-forward approach didn't work. Justin laughed at him when Chris stomped into his hotel room yelling obscenities about stupid southerners and cock teases. Justin had walked down to the ice machine to get some ice, a lot of ice, for the rather large bump that was making an appearance on the side of Chris' head. While Justin made jokes about what he would have to tell everybody, especially the interviewer they were supposed to meet the next afternoon, Chris thought of ways to make Lance's murder look like an accident.
Then he thought that if he killed Lance he wouldn't be able to spend the rest of his life with him.
~*~
During the interview the man did ask, "Hey Chris, what the hell happened to your head?" Lance and Justin had laughed their asses off while Joey and JC just looked confused behind their smiling faces. Chris said something about a bad bit at rehearsal and the guy seemed to believe him. He was just glad that question was asked while they were setting up.
During the interview, however, he kept eyeing the bump and Chris had second thoughts about poisoning Lance's peanut butter and dipping his bananas in chloroform.
~*~
They played another couple shows without too much going on. Photo shoot here, interview there, Chris' shunned offers of sex to Lance. Chris even died his hair red. Lance just smiled trough a puzzled expression. Joey thought it was cool. Justin wondered what the hell he was thinking. And JC didn't seem to notice.
Three weeks after the bump happened the tour ended, and they all went to their respective homes and prepared for the hiatus. For JC, it meant writing songs in LA. For Joey, it meant getting ready to do Rent. For Justin, it meant continuing on as normal because of his album.
For Chris, that mostly involved whether or not he wanted to walk around in his boxers and a shirt or just a bathrobe. For Lance, it meant hauling off to space camp. That, of course, curbed Chris' plans of "Get Lance" because it was really, really, really hard to woo someone when they were on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Chris then decided that he would have to settle for phone calls and hope for the best.
~*~
They talked more often than Chris thought they would. Lance would say how hard the training was or how frustrating it was trying to learn Russian. While he went on and on about things he couldn't even begin to understand, Chris wondered if he was sleeping with people on the off chance he had a chance. Probably not. Or at least that's what Chris was hoping.
"Chris? Chris, are you even listening?"
"Yeah, I'm listening." Lance paused.
"So how are things with you? The rest of the guys have already told me what they were up to."
"So you said you rode that thing that spins you in circles? What was the point of that again?"
~*~
Chris made it a point to not get depressed about Lance being gone, but as the months passed he called Lance less and less and called Justin more and more, whining about his broken heart.
"I mean, maybe I shouldn't have been so forward with him. I practically jumped on his bed and demanded sex."
"That's because you did, and have been ever since you 'got over' Dani." Chris couldn't see him, but he was sure by the way Justin paused he was making finger quotes. Dork.
"I know, but." Chris sighed. There wasn't anything on TV worth watching so he just kept flipping through all 237 channels, stopping on each one for only long enough to register a picture. The last couple of months he'd had way too much time to think about things.
"Yo, you know how Lance is. Behind that semi slutty exterior is a true romantic at heart. You need to, like, send him flowers and shit. Candy."
"He's in fucking Russia."
"So what? You act like you can't have it done." Somebody yelled in the background and Chris never missed Justin so much. "He'll come into his hotel room and find those flowers. Maybe then he won't think you're so shallow."
"What?" Chris sounded offended.
"Dude, for that last year almost you've been talking about nothing but how much you want to fuck him. Ever think maybe he wants more than that?" By the long pause Justin thought maybe he hadn't.
"No, I know he wants me. I'm--"
"Chris, save the cocky bullshit. That's for me. You honestly think he thinks you want him for him when you have expressed no want for him, but for his body?"
"His body is--"
"Chris."
"But--"
"Chris." There was a long pause.
"Okay so maybe I'm not the best at showing my feelings." Justin snorted and Chris sighed.
"Flowers and candy."
Chris sighed again.
~*~
Chris felt like some awkward teenaged boy sending a secret admirer clues about himself the first time he sent Lance flowers. They were a big bouquet of red roses. Justin did some asking around and told him where to send the stuff. Chris was sitting by the answering machine when Lance called. He sent candy next. A big box of expensive, pimple-inducing chocolates. He was sitting by the answering machine when Lance called about those, too. On the first card Chris wrote "I want you for more than your hot body," then thought about how mentioning Lance's body was completely defeating the purpose and said on the card that came with the candy, "I love you more than you think I do." He drew hearts with arrows through them all over the left over space and put "Chris and Lance Forever" in them, though he was sure no one could really read what it said.
The whole thing was kind of lame on some level as far as he was concerned, but if it got him Lance he didn't mind.
Not one bit.
~*~
On a whim, after sending Lance more flowers, candy, and cheap American beer, Chris decided that just because he was lonely didn't mean Kariya had to be, too. Without giving it a second thought he showered and dressed and was out the door with the little pug under his arm. She barked and nibbled at his fingers. After setting her down in the passenger seat and climbing to his side of the car Kariya crawled into his lap.
He let her stay there the entire ride to the pound.
~*~
Justin called, out of breath, on his way back. Chris'd pretty much let Kariya pick her new companion and wound up with a daschund. Chris stopped at a beauty mart up the street from his house and bought fingernail polish. He remembered his nextdoor neighbor's daschund had polished nails and thought it would be cool. He also remembered that Riley was a boy, but he didn't pay any mind to that minor detail.
"I adopted another dog."
"What?" Justin was breathing heavy in Chris' ear and he found in mildly annoying.
"I said I adopted another dog." Chris pulled into his driveway and turned off the car.
"Oh, cool. What'd you get? Another pug?"
"No, a daschund." Chris waited for the two dogs to scatter out of the car. The new dog, he needed a name for her, followed Kariya to the front door without hesitation.
"One of those hot dogs?" Justin laughed.
"Yeah. I'm about to paint her nails."
"What?"
"And I need a name, too. I haven't thought of one yet." Hearing the collar around Kariya's neck he figured he should have stopped by the pet store before coming home. He needed new bowls, too. Kariya was pretty stingy with hers when Busta was still around.
"Oh, okay. Well, what does she look like?" The new dog's nails clattered across the floor and he found it oddly comforting. Right now the two were having a barking match. Kariya's sounded deep only because she was on the pudgy side. Chris had to make sure not to let the new dog get too big. He was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to walk if that happened. Tomorrow he would start walking them. It would give him something to do anyway. He and Karyia shared the same problem.
"Um, she's got long hair for one. Didn't know they came like that." He filled two of his own bowls with food and water and turned to set them on the floor only to find the two eating out of the same bowl. Justin was saying something, but he wasn't really listening as he poured out the water and emptied the food bowl back into the bag. The water bowl went back in the cabinet and he thought for a moment before putting the food bowl in the sink. When he started to talk again Justin was already quiet. "She's all black with brown paws." Her eyebrows and nose were brown, too. He paused, listening to the loud clatter. "And long nails, really long nails."
"You should take them to the pet shop tomorrow, get them a make over." Chris considered the idea and nodded even though Justin couldn't see.
"Yeah, but a name. I can't keep calling her the new dog."
"Right, how about Zequinha?"
"What the hell?" Chris made his way to the living room. Seconds later he heard both dogs follow him. Kariya didn't give a second thought about jumping up to sit along side Chris so neither did The New Dog. At the rate he was going Chris thought that should be put in capital letters.
"I don't know. Um, Zozi?" Chris decided to tune Justin out while he thought of his own names.
~*~
The next day he was driving to "Pet Paradise" after looking up pet salons in the phone books. It sounded a bit ritzy to be in Orlando, but all the other ones sounded a too trashy and he was afraid if he left Kariya and Dixie there he'd never see them again. Justin sighed when Chris decided on that, but didn't say anything, which was best. Chris eyed Dixie long and hard when she trotted out of the house as if she knew what was going on, not once trying to get away as Kariya had done on numerous occasions. She was halfway down the yard when she realized Dixie wasn't behind her and came barking back to the car. They shared the front seat amicably the whole ride there.
The receptionist was nice enough. He had a nice smile, kinda like Lance's. Chris said he just wanted them to have a bath and a flea dip just to be on the safe side. He asked the guy if he thought Dixie needed a hair cut and he said that if the stylist thought it was necessary that he would tell them to go ahead with it. Chris nodded and left them there.
~*~
While Chris was at Pets Mart buying cute toys his phone vibrated against his thigh. "Hello?"
"Chris," Lance said, and Chris regretted not checking his caller ID, "Why am I holding a giant elephant?"
"I adopted a new dog. Her name is Dixie." Chris eyed some weird looking spiky ball and put it in he basket he picked up on the way in.
"Don't ignore my question."
"I'm not."
"Then why is it here?" Some people over in the next aisle were talking loudly. Chris checked his watch. The salon told him to come back in two hours
"Because I sent it to you."
"What are you doing?"
"Buying toys for my dogs."
"Chris." There was a no shit tone in Lance's voice. Chris sighed.
"I'm wooing you."
"By sending me expensive gifts and not returning my phone calls?" Chris was silent. Near the beginning there were schoompy messages left on Lance's voicemail, but Chris felt like an idiot and stopped. Since then he'd just been sending things and writing schoompy messages on the cards.
"It's the thought that counts." Lance snorted.
"Well you haven't given it much thought if you think doing what you're doing now is going to get me." And he hung up. Chris stood there and held the phone to his ear until the dial tone was replaced with that awful beeping sound.
~*~
When Chris went to pick up Dixie and Kariya he was exhausted. The receptionists pointed him in the direction of the play area and he heard the clatter of paws before he turned the corner. He noticed right away that the dogs were separated by size. Chris had a feeling, though, that if faced with the situation Dixie wouldn't have a problem defending herself.
Chris gave the lady watching the dogs short nods and curt answers so as to speed up the process of getting out of there. It was mostly tips on keeping the dogs well groomed, which he already knew, but in the sense of being polite listened to anyway.
Kariya looked pretty much the same, but had a pink ribbon tied to her collar. Dixie had slightly shorter, more even fur and pink bows on each of her ears and a pink bow around her neck to act as a collar. The pound said they'd have her tags by now so he stopped there to pick them up.
Dixie was fixed on removing her ribbons after they got home. They were behind him in the kitchen. When Dixie went to remove Kariya's ribbon she growled. Dixie didn't seem affronted by it and went to sleep on the sofa she sat on most of the day yesterday.
~*~
Justin surprised him by splashing cold water from a glass one morning. When Chris shot up he saw that he was holding Dixie in his other arm. He didn't see Kariya anywhere.
"She's cute," he said as he examined the hot pink nails.
"Why are you in my house?"
"Because I can be." Chris fell back on his pillow only to shoot up again when he remembered it was still wet. Justin tossed the glass on the bed and continued to pet Dixie as Chris tried to figure out what the hell was happening.
"What are you doing in my house?" Justin tried to put Dixie down, but she growled until he raised her back in his arms. Justin smiled.
"Cute." He sat down on a dry spot on Chris' bed. "I talked to Lance." Chris groaned. He should have known this was coming. He stood up to put on dry clothes while Justin kept talking. "When I asked him about you he got the ass."
After getting dry clothes Chris turned on the water in his bathroom to brush his teeth. "Well what did he say?"
"Enough to make the point that he does like you, but that you're also a complete ass." Justin heard Chris rinse and spit. When he came out of the bathroom he was in a new pair of boxers and a clean shirt. Dixie wiggled out of Justin's grasp and into Chris' lap when he sat down. "Where's Kariya?" Chris shrugged. There were usually always together. Justin regarded Chris before saying, "For your sake though he was mostly pissed at with himself."
"What?"
"He thinks it's his fault he didn't come up with enough money to go." Chris looked surprised and confused all at the same time. "You mean you didn't know?" No actually, he didn't. Right then he was glad he was talking to Justin because if it were Joey he'd've gotten smacked in the back of the head. And hard, too.
"Um."
"Chris! No wonder he's so pissed at you. You been sending him all that shit, but you haven't been talking to him?"
"Well--"
"You dumb ass." Dixie barked, but Justin ignored her as Chris pulled her close. "I'd be pissed, too."
"But I did what you said," he argued, but knew it was weak. Justin did, too, by the look he was giving Chris.
"You can't just send him shit and not talk to him." Dixie barked again.
"I know, but--"
"He's over alone in Russia miserable because he's going through all that hard work and he still might lose his chance to make all his dreams come true and you don't even know about it." He shook his head. "I'm surprised, Chris. I really am."
"It's not like I did it to purposely hurt him. You know I'm not good at relationships."
"No. You're not." A surge of anger came and went at the unfairness of it all.
"You act like you're better." Chris regretted saying it the moment he did.
"Britney was the world to me," he sneered, "Don't imply that I forced her to do what she did." And with that he turned on his heel and left, Dixie barking at his retreating figure.
Chris took a shower then went downstairs to apologize. "Ass," Justin muttered, but he didn't sound mad anymore.
~*~
The day after Justin left Chris started calling Lance again. He didn't send any more gifts, but on all of the voicemails he left were apologies, pleads to call him back, and declarations of Chris' own stupidity. When Lance never called him back Chris called the next best person.
Joey yelled at him for a little while because of course he knew what was going. Joey knew everything anyway. "You were the first person he ever had feelings for," Joey was saying. Chris wasn't sure if he believed that or not. "Yeah he was always hanging around me, but that's only because I was the only person he felt comfortable enough to be himself with. After the first few weeks in Germany you were all he talked about when it was just us."
"Well why didn't he ever say anything? All of you knew from the get go that I was bi." And this is true. He made it blatantly clear as soon as it was sure that Lance was the bass.
"Because he didn't know you were interested. If anything, he thought there was something between you and Justin. And don't you dare try and deny it," Joey rushed to finish when he heard Chris intake the breath to argue. "The way you two were all up in each other's faces."
"It's not--"
"Me and Lance didn't get all chummy until Europe. You and Justin hit it off right away." Chris wanted to call the bluff, but he knew that was true.
"So I'm stupid. I think we already established that." He sighed. "Help me?" There was long pause.
"But only because I love you."
"Thanks Joe."
"Whatever. I'll talk to him, but that's about all I can do."
"Thank you."
~*~
Chris called JC just because.
"I'm writing a song about it."
Chris hung up.
~*~
Just as everyone pretty much already knew, Lance didn't raise the money in time to go on the trip that was set for the spring. In the mean time it was up to the rest of the guys convince Lance it wasn't his fault and that there was nothing he could have done, don't be discouraged, and try again next time. For a while there was a moment where Joey took Lance off to the side. There were also moments where things were awkward between Chris and Lance. JC ignored them and acted as if everything was normal, his defense mechanism. Justin traded non-surreptitious glances between the two, obviously waiting for something. Nobody was sure what it was for. Joey stayed close to Lance.
Chris tried to talk to him, but his responses were short and cut off. When he wasn't trying to talk he stared at Lance pleadingly who ignored him altogether.
They were drinking beer, all pleasantly buzzed, and watching Star Wars when Lance got up. He headed towards Joey's bathroom. Chris watched from his dark corner until Lance came out and followed him to the kitchen, making sure Joey didn't see because he'd tell Chris to sit down.
Lance was going through the cabinets as Chris walked through the large opening that lead into the kitchen.
"Lance."
"Go away, Chris." He sounded sad.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah you are." When Lance didn't find what ever it was he was looking for he moved to the refrigerator.
"Just let me explain."
"Shallow. It's pretty simple."
"No. That's not it at all." He winced at the emotion in his voice.
"No? You're all over me asking for sex. 'Come on, Bass. You can't resist me much longer.'" Chris felt guilty for how turned on the voice Lance used to imitate him made him. "Then I go to Russia and we talk, but you're always off somewhere and you're still propositioning me. Then, then you start sending me shit. Proclamations of love supposedly, but you never answer my calls and because of that you have no fucking idea what's going on with me. The fact that my dreams were being shattered and you weren't even there to support me when I wanted that more than anything else." Two rooms away the TV could be heard loud and clear and Chris was grateful for it. "You go from telling me how much you love me to stalking me with apologies that as of right now I have no plans of accepting to trying to talk to me as if you'd been calling every other day. Things don't work that way, Chris." When Lance finished Chris' head was bowed and he was massaging his hands together nervously. "Look at me." He did so reluctantly. "Joey told me to at least give you a chance, but I honestly don't know if I can." Lance eyed Chris as left the room.
He heard the front door slam despite the TV.
~*~
Dixie and Kariya were fighting on Chris' bed a few days later. His cell and home phone had been ringing off the hook and one would think he'd learned to answer his phone, but Chris ignored them anyway. He needed time to mope. Chris thought maybe this was payback for treating Dani the way he had because he truly felt like shit.
Chris threw the spiky ball Dixie had taken a liking to out the door just to get the growling out of his room. When they'd barked down the hallway Chris missed the noise.
Through all the cleverness known to man Chris couldn't think of anything to make things better. They had no reason to be together since the hiatus started so there were no days stuck on a bus together, being forced to face each other whether they liked it or not.
The only thing he could do was show that he cared and Chris honestly didn't know how.
~*~
"You can't make things better by not talking to him," Chris' answering machine was saying. "I know you think you fucked it up because of the other night, but you're fucking it up even more by giving up." Dixie was barking at the noise so Chris yelled at her to shut up. In return she hopped along side him on the messy bed and nudged his face with her cold, wet nose.
Justin was halfway through his speech when there was a beep, signaling his time was up. Chris listened to all the messages while getting dressed. As soon as the last beep sounded he was over there to press play again because if they stopped before he could leave the room he'd lose his courage and turn right back around.
On his way out, Chris kissed Dixie and Kariya on the nose for good luck.
~*~
Chris would have pulled into Lance's driveway, but there was another car, one he didn't recognize.
He turned around and thought maybe he should have given them two kisses instead of one.
~*~
"I went over to his house yesterday," Chris was saying the next day. He had to call a few times before Justin answered and then he had to listen to his bitching for not returning phone calls.
"So what happened?" There was an awful lot of noise going in the background and Chris idly wondered what he'd interrupted.
"Nothing." Justin sighed. "No, wait." He played with the rolls on Kariya's neck. "He had company."
"You know who it was?"
"No. I didn't recognize the car."
"What'd it look like?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I don't know.
"Chris. If you didn't recognize the car then you must have looked at it." When Chris didn't say anything Justin sighed. "Chris, I love you to death, and I want you to be happy, but you need to get out of this funk."
"I know. S'easier said than done, though."
"I know this is supposed to be the part where I say something so profound that suddenly all hope doesn't seem lost, but I'm not sure what that is. You just have to try and get him to understand I guess." Chris couldn't see, but he knew Justin shrugged, or was doing something that would lighten things for his sake. If he got to into it he'd break down himself.
"Yeah." Chris changes the subject as best he can without it being too awkward. Justin helps more than he thinks he does sometimes.
~*~
Two days later, after he'd given himself time to get his thoughts together, Chris drove to Lance's house for the second time that week. This time there were no cars in the driveway. Chris decided to park on the curb and trudge the long walk to Lance's big front door. He rang the doorbell just in case any cars were hidden in the garage. When nobody came to the door Chris made himself comfortable on the front step.
~*~
Chris sang all the songs from all of their albums, at least the words he could remember, before a car's headlights shown in his face. After the initial glare he saw Lance's sleek BMW roll under the garage door that had started going up when he was halfway down the driveway. Before Chris could think he slid under so Lance couldn't go through the side door and not let him in through the front.
"Lance," he said as Lance opened his car door. "Lance, please just listen to me."
"I've been at your house for the last three hours waiting in your living room."
"Just--what?"
"I didn't you know you got a new dog. She's cute." He turned to unlock the door and when he didn't close it behind him Chris followed him in.
Chris watched him clatter around the kitchen and wondered what was up. A little over a week ago Lance was pissed off at him and now it was as if nothing happened.
Well, except that he just came from Chris' house of course.
"She doesn't look like the kind of dog you'd like."
"Um, Kariya picked her out." He followed Lance to the bar where he made himself and Chris a drink.
"Lance."
"Apparently you're not the only one the rest of the guys think is kinda stupid." To Chris that came off as a good sign. He came fully prepared to get on his hands and knees and beg if need be.
"I don't," he began to say, but Lance held up his hand.
"Let me talk. You've done enough already." Chris shut up. "Joey and Justin said that I should have already known how stupid you are. And JC just talked to me about some song." He shrugged. "I'm not really gonna draw this out into some long speech, so basically I'm willing to give you the chance."
Chris eyed him suspiciously. That was just too easy. Lance looked earnest enough and Chris wanted nothing more than to believe him and take the rest of this conversation upstairs, but he had to be sure.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't know if I believe you." Lance smiled. "I mean, I still love you and all, but you were pissed as hell and wanted nothing to do with me a little over a week ago and now you're forgiving me."
"I didn't say I forgave you." He sipped at his drink. "I said I was giving you a chance."
"How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep or poison my food."
"You don't," he said matter of factly. "I'm not even saying we'll jump right into being a couple. Or buddy fucking either." Chris' face fell.
"Lance. That's not what I mean." Lance nodded.
"I know, but it's what I mean. I've had feelings for you for a long time and you jumping all over me like you have been for the last year brought all those feelings to the top after I'd buried them."
"Why'd you do that?" He was almost afraid to ask.
"Because you never showed you were interested in me and I told myself to either say something or get over you. You made that decision for me when you started dating Dani." Chris didn't know whether to smile or frown.
"That's kind of ironic." Lance glanced up at him from over the tip of his glass, the brown liquid sloshing around. "I dated Dani to cover my feelings for you." Lance didn't look amused so Chris decided to frown.
"I'm assuming that's why she broke up with you."
"Yeah. After you broke up with whatshisface--"
"Donny."
"--and I started spending all that time with you she got kinda suspicious." Chris felt incredibly guilty about it all of a sudden, and couldn't quite meet Lance's eyes.
"Can't say I miss her. She was kind of a bitch."
"And she was moving in on your territory," Chris dared to joke. Lance surprised him by smiling shyly. He hadn't seen that smile in a while.
"I haven't had a reason to." That made Chris so unbelievably happy. Lance walked around the bar and stood in front of him.
"So what is this supposed to mean?" Lance shrugged.
"I don't know if I can--"
"I love you," Chris interrupted. He tried to sound as earnest as possible, tried to make him see by gazing into Lance's eyes. He seemed to understand because the next thing Chris knew he was being kissed. It was soft, Lance's lips tasting sweet from the Pepsi and Brandy he just drank. Before he could pull away, Chris wrapped his arms around Lance's neck and held on tight.
Just when they were getting somewhere they both felt the vibration of Chris' phone and jumped. Chris moved to turn it off when Lance swiped it from him and looked at the caller ID. "Whoever it is, is in your house." Chris looked at Lance confused. He shrugged and his green as sparkled. Chris forgot what he was supposed to do so Lance took back the phone and answered it before it could stop ringing. "Hello?"
"Lance?"
"Hey JC!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to call Chris. I'll talk to you later."
"No, no, no," he said hurriedly before JC could hang up. "This is Chris' phone."
"Oh. Well…" Lance didn't get to hear what he said because Chris snatched his phone back.
"Hello?"
"So yeah," he was saying, "You have to put Chris on the phone."
"This is Chris you spaz."
"But--"
"Talk JC."
"I finished your song! And Dixie's really cute!" There was a pause and Chris heard paws clattering in the background. "I think she peed on you floor though because when I walked in I slipped and fell and now my white shirt is kinda yellow so can I borrow one?"
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