Tonight was a night I’d never forget. Our football team gave 110% out there on that field, winning us the State Championship. I should have been on cloud nine, with the six touchdown passes I’d thrown and the one touchdown I’d made myself, but none of that seemed to be worth anything to me since she wasn’t there. My girlfriend of the last two years never missed a game EVER! I kept looking up into the stands where her and her two best friends always sat, but she wasn’t there. Something was wrong, and I could feel it in my gut. I went through the motions, congratulating my other teammates on a great job, plastering a smile on my face as we shook hands with the other team. All I wanted to do was find her. I just had to know she was okay. I pushed my way past everyone who wanted to congratulate me, hoping to find someone who could tell me where she was. I finally saw her in the midst of the crowd. My heart skipped a beat like it always did when I looked at her. I gave her my best smile, and only got a slight one in return. Even from this distance I could tell something was wrong by the look in her eyes. I ran over to her and pulled her to me tightly. I never seemed to get tired of having her near.
“I was so worried when I didn’t see you earlier. Is everything okay?” When I pulled away and looked deep into her beautiful brown eyes I could tell she had been crying. “Britney….what’s going on? Why have you been crying?”
“I need to tell you something,” she said, but the crowd was so loud I could barely hear her. “Can we go somewhere else to talk?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Just let me grab a quick shower and I’ll be right back out okay? Fifteen minutes tops.” She nodded in agreement and I ran to the locker room. I swear I’d never showered and dressed so quickly in my life. I just had to know what was going on with her. I grabbed my letterman’s jacket and headed back to the field. She was still there waiting for me, sitting with her best friend’s Jaimie and Ally. They all looked so sad as they sat there, none of them saying anything. “Hey. Lance and JC said they’d be out in a few minutes.” Jaimie and Ally nodded to me, still not saying a word. I HAD to get to the bottom of this. “Ready to go somewhere to talk?” Britney stood up and gave a brave smile to her friend’s then looked up at me.
“Yeah.” We walked in silence until we made it to our favorite spot underneath the stands. Most of the crowd had left already, so we could easily talk there.
“So….are you going to tell me what’s going on? Why weren’t you at the game?
Britney took a deep breath and looked up at me, “Ally and Jaimie took me into Memphis.”
“Memphis? What for?” I just couldn’t understand why she needed to drive over an hour to go to Memphis, especially on the night of his big game.
“I went to a doctor there.”
“Is something wrong?” She was looking down at her hands again and I could see her chin begin to tremble. Tears were streaming down her cheeks when her eyes finally met mine again.
“I’m pregnant Justin.” I immediately took two steps back, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of me. I don’t know how long I had been standing there before I actually began to talk again.
“Pregnant?”
She nodded, “That’s why I went to Memphis. I needed to find out for sure, but I didn’t want to go to my regular doctors. I was afraid that if I wasn’t he might tell my parents that I got tested. I guess it doesn’t really matter now.”
“This can’t be happening to me now. I’m leaving for college in the fall, what about my football…..” I let my voice trail off as I looked down at her. She was hurting so badly right then and my outburst wasn’t helping our situation in the least. I didn’t know what we were going to do, but I knew we’d get through it together. I pulled her close to me, breathing in her all too familiar vanilla scent. “I’m so sorry Brit. We’re going to get through this I promise. I won’t leave your side.”
“I’m so scared Justin,” she mumbled against my chest. I sighed heavily.
“So am I. So am I.” was all I could say.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Two Weeks Later~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“…..are…are you sure?” I asked, feeling my dreams slipping away with each passing moment. “Okay, thank you very much.” I slammed the phone back into it’s cradle, burying my face in my hands. I looked over at my two best friends since kindergarten, Lance and JC.
“I take it you didn’t get good news,” JC frowned. I laughed bitterly.
“Nope. They don’t offer any help with student housing for married couples with children.”
“Have….have you and Britney talked about adoption maybe?” Lance asked and I shook my head.
“It’s not an option and neither is an abortion. I know it’s probably hard for you guys to understand, but Britney and I created a life and it’s growing inside her as we speak. We just can’t walk away from that.” I knew my friends couldn’t understand. Even though we were all only 18 years old, I felt as though I had aged 20 years in the last two weeks. Britney and I were getting married at the end of the month. By then she’ll be three months pregnant. How could this have happened? I had such big plans, such high hopes for the future. All of my dreams were shattered within the blink of an eye. Of course, Britney’s had been too. I had to stop thinking only about myself. I was going to be a father, and it was time I started to act like one. We’ll make it one way or the other, I promised myself. And we’ll get through it together.
All he could think about was I'm too young for this
Got my whole life ahead
Hell I'm just a kid myself
How am I gonna raise one
All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast
Oh well, those plans are long gone
And he said,
There goes my life
There goes my future, my everything
Might as well kiss it all good-bye
There goes my life.......
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Two Years Later~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I turn down the same street I’ve lived on all of my life, making my way home after a long twelve hour day at the body shop. I began working for my dad part time right after Britney and I got married. When I graduated it changed to full time. I had always enjoyed working on cars with my old man when I was growing up, but I never thought I’d make my living off of it. I didn’t get to leave this town and go off to one of the big universities like I had planned, but I go to school part time trying to get my degree in physical education. I figured if I can’t play football like I had dreamed I’ll at least be able to teach other kids to love it as much as I do.
With one more turn of my wheel, I pull into our driveway. Both mine and Britney’s parents pitched in and bought us a small but nice three bedroom house right down the street from them. It had more than enough room for us, but when Lance, Jaimie, JC, and Ally all came to visit at the same time it proved to be a bit too small. That’s when Britney and I would bring our daughter into our bed and let her sleep with us. Of course we do that pretty regularly so it wasn’t a big change for us. The first year was a tough one for both of us. We barely adjusted to being married before Olivia came. As soon as she was here it was nothing but crying, late night feedings, sleepless nights, dirty diapers. We didn’t think it was ever going to end. Our parents weren’t much help. They didn’t kill us after we told them about the baby, but they also told us they weren’t going to be there to bail us out when the times got rough. We wanted to have sex like adults, then it was time to face up to the responsibilities that come with it. I guess we really couldn’t blame them for that. Despite everything, we managed to learn how to be parents.
As soon as I walk through the door I smell the dinner Britney had ready for us. I followed the laughter I heard coming from the kitchen to find my beautiful wife and daughter. Olivia was sitting on the counter while Britney finished putting the rest of the cookie dough on the cookie sheet.
“Livy, that goes in the cookies not in your hair sweetie,” Britney laughed as Olivia dumped a spoonful of flour in her blonde curls with a grin. Olivia squealed in delight as the white powder tickled her nose when it fell down her chubby cheeks. I had to laugh. She was just too damn cute. Britney turned to me with a smile as soon as she heard me behind her. “Justin,” she picked up Olivia from the counter and walked towards me. I leaned in to kiss her lips softly before I attacked Olivia’s cheeks with ten kisses, causing her to squeal once again. She held out her little arms for me to take her. She settled into my chest, resting her head in the crook of my neck, her little hands scratching at my scruffy face.
“How’s my two favorite girls?”
“Good. Olivia was helping me bake cookies…..” Britney turned to look at all the flour on the counter with a laugh. “Well, trying to anyway.”
“I can see that,” I laugh. “Were you helping Mommy?” I tickled her belly and the love I felt for her made my heart swell as she giggled. Britney took Livy from me to put her in her high chair. I went over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water for both of us and I paused. So many pictures of me, Britney, and Olivia covered the front of it that you couldn’t tell what color it was. I smiled as I glanced at some of them, remembering where we had been and what we had been doing at that exact moments. We had shared so many happy moments together in the last two years, and I honestly couldn’t wait to see what new memories we’d be making together.
After dinner, Britney and I gave Olivia her bath. By 8pm she was ready for bed. Britney waited patiently for her at the bottom of the steps as I walked with her, holding her tiny little hand. I bent down and she wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed as hard as she could, giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
“Night night Livy. I love you baby girl.”
“Ni-ni Da-ey,” she mumbled in her almost one and a half year old voice. I smiled as I watched her dragged my old teddy bear up the stairs, determined to make it up there on her own. Britney of course walked slowly behind her to catch her if she stumbled. Olivia was determined to make it up those stairs on her own, a determination she got from both of us. When she finally made it up those stairs, she turned to me with a grin, waving her little hand at me. Her blonde girls, bouncing around her face as she does a little dance at the top, her big blue eyes twinkling with joy. I wave back, blowing her a kiss as Britney smiled and took her to her room to read her a bedtime story. I never thought I could ever love anyone as much as I love my little girl. She’s everything to me.
A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator
Oh yeah..........he loves that little girl
Momma's waiting to tuck her in
As she fumbles up those stairs
She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear
Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls
He smiles.....
There goes my life
There goes my future, my everything
I love you, daddy good-night
There goes my life
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Seventeen Years Later~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I checked under the hood of her new Honda Civic one more time, wanting to make sure everything was okay. Today my baby girl was going to be leaving for college, heading to the west coast. Olivia was so excited, that I tried my best to be happy for her even though it was breaking my heart to have to say goodbye to my little girl. Britney was taking it a lot worse than I was. She was crying every time anyone mentioned her leaving. I tried to comfort my wife the best I could, but it was hard to find the words to comfort her when I felt the pain of her leaving just as much. We knew she would be okay. She was so smart and we trusted her with anything.
I headed back into the house just in time to see them walking down the stairs. The same stairs I used to watch her try to climb on her own when she was just a toddler. I smile at that memory. It was merely one of millions of happy one’s we’ve had over the last nineteen years. It’s hard to imagine what my life would have been like if things hadn’t happened the way they did. Maybe I could have played professional football, and got to meet all the right people and make millions of dollars. Maybe Britney and I wouldn’t have stayed together after all. I don’t like to dwell on the past, or think about things that will never be. Besides, I wouldn’t want to change my life for the world. My life would have been nothing without Olivia, and I have been blessed to have Britney here beside me through it all. They are my world. My everything. I smile at them as they finally made it down the stairs.
“You all packed?” I asked, part of me hoping she’d change her mind. One look into her blue eyes and I knew that wasn’t going to happen. She gave me her most beautiful smile.
“Yep! I guess this is it.”
Britney’s chin began to trembled as she tucked Olivia’s blonde curls behind her ear. “I want you to call us when you stop tonight. Don’t drive too late. We don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel. Don’t stop at some cheap hotel either. We want you to stay somewhere nice.” Olivia laughed.
“I promise Mom. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” So much strength and determination was in her, and she made me so proud. She leaned in to give Britney another big hug. “I love you. I promise I’ll call you tonight.”
“You better or your father and I will go looking for you,” she tried to laugh, but it turned into more of a sob. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me.
“Shhh, it’s okay honey. Livy will be fine.” She nodded against my chest, looking up at me with a brave smile. I kiss her softly before I turned to my beautiful daughter. I opened my arms and she fell into my embrace, snuggling her head in the crook of my neck just like she used to do when she was a little girl. I smile as I stroke her hair, “I’m so proud of you baby girl. I love you so much.” She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and smiled.
“Thank you for everything you and mom have done for me. I love you guys so much. I mean you gave up everything to raise me.”
I laughed softly stroking her soft cheek, “Thank you for showing us what true happiness is.” Olivia hugged us both once more before we headed out to her car. I put the last of her bags in the trunk as she climbed into the driver’s seat. The engine roared to life and she looked back at us with another bright smile.
“I love you guys. I’ll call you tonight, I promise.” We watched her drive away that day with a mixture of pride and happiness. Our little Olivia had grown into an amazing young woman. We were so blessed to have her in our lives. A lone tear streaked down my cheek, when her car was no longer visible.
“I love you baby girl, goodbye.” I whispered, mainly to myself. Britney wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me right against her as we made our way back into the empty house. We knew everything was going to be okay. Some of the best things in life are unexpected things they say. In my case, they were right.
She had that Honda loaded down
With Abercrombie clothes
15 pairs of shoes and his American Express
He checked the oil
Slammed the hood
Said You’re good to go
She hugged them both and headed off to the west coast
And he cried
There goes my life
There goes my future, my everything
I love you baby, goodbye
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