JOEY

I've had an amazing day with Lauri.  In the morning, we disappeared off to local plaza, and did some shopping, especially in the Barnes and Nobles, where we found some amazing cook books. 

"God, you are such a nut!" she said breathlessly as we walked into the house.

"Better to be nutty than normal," I said, laughing with her.

"Hey, I'm gonna head upstairs, take a shower, and then, maybe we can cook up something from one of the books.  Where are the rest of the guys?"

"Out I guess.  They should be back in like two hours.  If you want, we can cook, and eat dinner in your room while taking care of the bonding requirements."

She smiled.  "Sounds like fun...be out soon!"
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After about 20 minutes, she comes down in a tank and pj pants, with her hair in a messy bun.  "Come, let us get to work, Joseph Antonio!" she says, in a pretty damn good Italian accent. 

As we started making the stuffed ravioli I told her so.  "You know, you're really good at that."

"Oh, thanks.  I'm actually part of the Thespian (no, not lesbian) society at school."

"A Thespian? So you act much?"

She looked up at me ruefully.  "Not anymore.  Now, reading and cooking are my things."

We ended up chitchatting about different things until finally the ravioli was made.  We left the pot on the stove off of heat for the others, and went up to her room.

As I settled onto the floor with my bowl of ravioli and my water bottle, I say in between bites, "So according to this....I need to ask you....what your intrests are...and about how they've been affected, now that you lost your father."

She fixed me with a stare from her hazel eyes.  "Well...I'm a melting pot of intrests. Reading, travel, the arts, music."  She looked down at herself. "Hell, I even used to do disabled sports. Now, I just spent half my time at home, on AOL or something."

"Why'd you stop?"

She looked at me, a quiet sadness in her eyes.  "I don't know, really.  Dad was my...driving force.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I adore Mom.  But the relationship is completely different.  Dad and I....were twins.  And it's kind of weird and quirky, but......that's just how we were."  Her voice breaks.  "The day he died, he took a part of me with him. And this is all that's left of me."

______________________________________________

LAURI

For the next few days, I'm thrown together in various rendevouz with the guys, each time learning something about them and me.  Little breakthroughs.  Finally, the dreaded day arrives. 

Yes. You guessed it: my bonding day with Justin.

I mean, it's not like we're not talking. It's just...things are not as comfy as a feather bed.  In fact, I woke up early and had a light breakfast, and waited for Justin to get ready on my bed, singing Broadway songs.  I wonder what's going to happen today.  I try to tune out the songs, by belting out another chord, in what I believe is the privacy of my room.  Oh, if only I'd seen it was open.

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JUSTIN

Her voice is beautiful.

I just happened to be walking by her door to see if she was still in bed and I instead get stopped dead in my tracks by hearing her beautiful voice.

"Aren't you--?" says Lance, but I shut him up and show him what has me caught in the depths of bliss.

"Damn," he whispers. 

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said, but the spell was broken as she turned.

She smiled.  "Hey Lance, hey J.  You ready to hit the road?"

"Yea.  Hey, do you mind if I stop off at the studio for a sec, before get the party started?"

She picks up a notebook and a pen.  "Sure, I guess.  Sometimes the urge just hits ya. I used to be like that all the time."

As she starts out of her room, Lance shoots me a questioning glance, but I just shoot an award winning smile and we head out the door.
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When we get to the studio, I snatch us a private booth and she settles in, starting to doodle in her little notebook.  After about twenty minutes of BSing, I call her into the bootht.

She walks in.  "You ever been in one of these?"  She shakes her head.  "It's been my dream for so long....well, at least it used to be," she says.  That quiet, closed off look comes into her eyes again.

"Why used to?"

She sighs.  "Daddy was my only reason to sing.....he was my support, the one who taught me to master it, and now......I just....don't give a fuck."

I tried to hide my amazement.  This the most honest response any of us have gotten from her, besides Joey.  How do I know? He kinda sorta told me.  And now, as I watch her....I truly see her.  A scared girl with nowhere to turn, and a deep seated grief.

"Sing one of your songs."

"What?" she asks me.

"I heard you this morning.  And I've seen you writing in that book.  Sing."

"But I don't even have a beat."

"Jayce said you showed him the book.  Nothing more," I said, as she shot me a look.  "But he said he had a beat from the studio in mind."

"He did?"

"Yes....he didn't give me any details, he said you'd guide me." She looks at me again, soft anger in her eyes.  "I was desperate!"

She sighed and put on the phones.  "Guess I can't really expect much privacy.  Besides, y'all need to know me, right?"

As I started the melody, she began to sing

One night to you
Lasted six weeks for me
Just a bitter little pill now
Just to try to go to sleep
No more waking up to innocence
Say hello to hesitance
To everyone I meet
Thanks to you years ago
I guess I'll never know
What love means to me but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

Left my childhood behind
In a roll away bed
Everything was so damn simple
Now I'm losing my head
Trying to cover up the damage
And pad out all the bruises
Do you know I had it
So it didn't hurt to lose it
Didn't hurt to lose it
No but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name
I just want to thank you
Thank you
From the bottem of my heart
For all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

I sat there in stunned silence.  The power.  The emotion.  It had me glued to the spot. 
___________________________________________

The rest of the day passes in a blur.  After the recording session, we head down to Citywalk, just taking in the sights and talking.  As we sit in a restaurant, I get lost in my thoughts over her beautiful song.

"Why are you so quiet, Justin?"

I snap out of it.  "Huh? Oh, nothing, nothing."

She angles her head.  "Nothing my ass...You've been as silent as a tomb."

"It's funny how when you want to know something you poke and prod, but you want others to stay the hell away from you."

She recoils slightly.  I silently curse myself.  "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have said that."  She now looks at her glass of Coke.  "No, I deserve that...and I'm sorry.  I know you were only trying to help."

I reach out to her.  "Yea, but I shouldn't have pushed. But I'm asking you now.  Why did you shy away from me?  And more importantly, what are you afraid of?"