I promise you I’ll always be your angel in
and if you really need me just come take my hand
I’ll never forget all the fun we had
I’ll always be there for you remember that
The past three years you could say were interesting for the couple that once was Ashanti and Justin. Their torrid love affair that had been kept away from millions had finally drew its breaking point. No, they were still head over heels for each other or so Ashanti thought. They were still occasionally meeting up at hotels whenever they were in the same town to remind each other countless times why the did what they did. Things were going smooth. She was starting up a somewhat budding relationship with Nelly and things between Justin and Cameron were still the same meanwhile feelings that they felt for one another still remained. No matter who they were with, something deep down inside would never break. Justin need Ashanti as much as Ashanti needed Justin. She was the only woman whoever listened to him. In between breaks of getting freaky he’d tell her about all the things that plagued him. The relationship that he was in to how Britney and her creepy videos were just too much. Had he really messed her up to the point that she was sporting red bracelets and making out with Madonna? Come on, that was just plain crazy. Never had she complained that he was talking to much, she actually liked listening to him. It made her realize that behind all the glitz and glamour he was still your run of the mill boy with problems. Maybe not problems like Timmy down the street or DeShaun that worked at the Footlocker, but problems nonetheless.
I want you to know no matter how
I’ll save you from hurt or pain or any doubt
Learn how to love but remember me
When love was real unconditionally
You were the one that changed your mind
But I don’t care cuz you will always be mine
This is something that will never fade
This is love you won’t find again.
I promise you I’ll always be your angel in
and if you really need me just come take my hand
I’ll never forget all the fun we had
I’ll always be there for you remember that
Ashanti could still remember when everything came to a halt. Justin was knocked out beside her. She was on her way to slumber land when a phone began to ring. Being as tired as she was, hadn’t realized whose phone she was picking up.
“Hello?”
“Justin?” oh yeah that woke her straight up. It was Cameron on the other end! Ashanti didn’t know what to do so she just hung up. Yeah not such a good idea.
“Justin, wake up.”
“Mmm?” Ashanti shook him a few more times before he became more alert.
“I fucked up! I fucked up!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I picked up your phone.”
“WHAT?!” Now he was definetly up. She picked his phone up?! That only meant one thing, Cameron called. Now he was really going to be in some hot water.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t know, I just grabbed a phone…”
“And you didn’t even bother to open your eyes to see who’s it was?”
“NO! Damn it!” Justin couldn’t believe this. So maybe his feelings for Cameron weren’t that deep but would you want to be on the opposite end of the phone while she’s yelling? The secret was out of the bag now. With Cameron fuming, she could tell anyone.
“What am I going to do?”
“What are you going to do?! Hello, I’m the one in the fucking relationship!”
“Oh wow with someone you barely even like! I’m with the INC, Ja and Irv will have my head for this.”
“You’re always so fucking worried about them, give me a break ‘shanti. You’re just worried about the world finding out about me.”
“Ya damn right I am! I’m an R&B artist! If someone finds out that I’m sleeping around with the guy who ousted Janet, no one will forgive me.” Justin scoffed, pulling his pants back on.
“You know what ‘shanti, you are so full of shit you know that? I’m good enough to fuck but I’m not good enough to be known as your little boy toy? Oh because you’re an R&B artist” he mocked, “give me a fucking break.”
“Give you a break? You’re the one dating little miss Cameron, you’re about to shit on yourself because I answered your phone. You’re just as scared as I am or worse because you in some hokey pokey relationship.”
“Same goes for you and Nell. Hell we did songs together, how do you think he’s gonna feel when he finds out his girl just got boned sideways by his boy? Huh?”
“Fuck you Justin” Ashanti was beyond mad. This wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were just having fun, they weren’t supposed to be neck and neck. It was all going down in flames. Never had she thought Justin would be this way and vice versa. Ashanti was his heart, though he hadn’t admitted it yet. Yes the fooled around, but he wasn’t kidding himself there were feelings there for her. But with his girlfriend and her being so frightened of what Ja and Irv would think, they could never act on them. What was even the point anymore? She’d never give her heart to him and he’d never give his. It was over plain and simple.
“Toots you already did hours ago. Consider it the last” and with that Justin was gone. Out of her life for good.
You’re there in my days and kept my warm at night
I love you so much that I could lose my mind
Reminisce of holding you tight
A memory that felt so right
How do I carry on with life and then
Thoughts of you play in my mind again
Hurts me inside feels like I’m burning up
My love for you, you’re the one I love
Justin often thought about Ashanti and her life. They never talked anymore, in fact they barely even looked at one another. Whenever they were at functions together she’d sit furthest away from him. Not since that night had she looked him in the eye. He hurt her, she hurt him, they just hurt one another. There was no way of going back to what they used to be before giving into temptation. What was it with him that any girl that lost their virginity to him came out hurt? When Justin walked out of that room, he walked over of her life. Over time he chastised himself for not turning around and making things right. By convincing her to tell Ja and Irv to fuck off, giving Cameron the heave ho, etc., etc. Speaking of her there was major ass kissing on her front. When she heard that woman’s voice she went postal, willing and ready to smear her name through the tabloids. But since she couldn’t pinpoint out her voice there was nothing she could do but give Justin a thorough tongue lashing. That was all she could do, she wasn’t no fool. She was lucky to have him, being 8 years his senior even she was surprised he gave her a chance. If only she could figure out who that bitch was…….
I promise you I’ll always be your angel in
and if you really need me just come take my hand
I’ll never forget all the fun we had
I’ll always be there for you remember that
More than Justin and Ashanti’s relationship had changed. Murder INC or The INC whatever you want to call it soon belly flopped. With Ja not making any records and stars like Vita and Charli Baltimore not going anything the company struggled to survive but lost the fight. Most of the INC family went onto labels that didn’t further their career but Ashanti was still a money maker so plenty of record companies were vying for her to come. She even laughed to herself when Jive made her an offer. Being on the same label as him? NOT! Instead she went on to Def Jam and released another album that came in at #3 which wasn’t so bad. She had just came off tour and was ready for some down time at her new home in London. There was a reason for why she now lived so far but I’ll get to that in a minute.
“Look I’m going as fast as I can!” Justin whined walking through the busy Heathrow airport. The group had finally gotten back together after his and J.C.’s solo debuts to make an album. The first single was already doing well in the States, so the next stop was England. After doing a few shows it was time to head further into Europe. Justin was just stone tired. He partied to the wee hours of the morning with some women he had met backstage of their Top of the pops performance. Ann, one of the girls he met hooked up that night at a suite in the same hotel in which they were staying. At the moment Justin was just going through the motions. He was still with Cameron but overtime she had became a bore making cheating on her even worse. Regardless of how many people he had been with only one stuck in his mind and that Ashanti. Still to this day, 3 years ago, he still thought about her. He was sure she was hurt over the split at the INC but when he heard she was picked up by Def Jam he was more than happy. They ended things, well more so he ended things so wrong. If only he could apologize to her…….
I’m doing my thing cuz you said I should
Loved you then but I was misunderstood
Why you left why you broke my heart
Want me to go and make a brand new start
Always wished you would understand
That I don’t want no other man
Life is short I’ve been wasting my time
Hanging around for a guy that’s not mine
“About time you showed up! He’s been boo hooing for you every since you jumped on that plane.”
“I bet.” Ashanti lifted the small boy out of her mothers arms into her own. He was dead asleep but her touch woke him right up.
“Mommy!” There was no greater sound than hearing her little boy call out for her. When she first found out she was pregnant she was more than ready to go and get it over with. But could never live with the fact that she murdered something so innocent. No one besides her family knew of him, not even Ja or Irv. During her entire 9 months she stayed holed up in her family’s old house which they still owned in Long Island. They even had an at home birth so no one would find out. Trey Douglas was born October 31rst, which was fitting because Halloween was his also his favorite. He was very much like his father. Slept like a dead man, goofy as ever and threw temper tantrums at the drop of a hat, but he was also loving, kind and compassionate all for just 3 years old. And it wasn’t just in actions but physical as well. Though he was the perfect mix of their skin tones, little Trey had so much curly hair that it was frightening. Everything from Justin’s nose to his smile was apparent. There was a risk that he’d be found out back in America so with much convincing Ashanti’s little sister moved to England along with Trey. Without her sister she wouldn’t know where she’d be. She was such a help in raising Trey whenever she was on the road. Surprisingly not once had he ever asked about his father.
“Do you smell that?” Justin asked Joey who was sitting beside him.
“Smell what?”
“That perfume? Smells kind of tropical….” The smell was very familiar to Justin but he couldn’t put his finger on nit.
“Nah dude, maybe that chick you were with last night got her perfume all on you or something.”
“Nah this is different…”Justin shrugged, no paying any mind that to it. It smelt like the perfume that Ashanti always wore, but he chalked it up to the fact that because she was in his thoughts, he thought he smelled her. Little did he know right behind him was Ashanti and his son.
I promise you I’ll always be your angel in
and if you really need me just come take my hand
I’ll never forget all the fun we had
I’ll always be there for you remember that
Always be your angel~Lisa Maffia
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