She swallowed her tears, her eyes on him. Her body numb. She had her nails racked deep into the sofa to keep herself up.
He watched her face and clearly saw the pain in her eyes. It was not something she could hide, even if she wanted to. "Are you...going to be OK?" he said in a whisper. But not making eye contact. He couldn't bare to look at her in such pain.
She nodded, "Yeah. I'll be fine." she managed to say.
"Damn it Justin. Tell her you were wrong. Tell her what your about to do is the stupidest thing you've ever done." he thought to himself. But instead he cleared his throat, "OK. I'll get going."
She managed to pull her nails out of the sofa, then realized her hands were trembling. "Don't you dare cry." she tells herself. "Don't you dare let him see you cry." Swallowing once again the lump in her throat, she nodded. "Leave. Leave so I can cry." She thought to herself.
He slowly headed toward the front door of her apartment. Hesitant to leave. "Love should be enough." he thought. But knowing deep down that sometimes it wasn't. And that moment, love wasn't enough. He heard her sniffle behind him, but knew better than to turn around.
Once they stood by the front door he turned to look back at her. "Are we doing the right thing? Are you sure this is what you want? Cant we work through this?" Those were the questions running through his head. They were the questions that he couldn't seem to get out of his mouth.
They stood there, looking at each for what seemed forever. He finally spoke up, "OK. I'm going to go." Pretending it didn't pain him to see the tears that threatening to spill down her cheeks. Wishing deep in his heart that she would tell him not to go. That she would speak up and tell him that she still loved him the same way he still loved her.
She looked down at the floor, then back up at him. "Don't go. I need you. I love you." she pleads in her head. "OK." she said out loud.
"Say something." he managed to murmur. "Say anything."
Not able to keep the tears back she responded, "What do you want me to say?"
He took a step back to her and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. He couldn't see her this way. To know that he had caused the pain she was feeling. "Say that what were doing is wrong. That we belong together." he though to himself. But instead he murmured, "I don't know." moving his hand away from her face. Taking a step back once again, and heading back to the front door.
She bit her lower lip to keep the tears inside. But it didn't help, the tears continue to spill and she quickly wiped them away before he noticed it. She knew he was leaving. It was the right thing to do. Shutting her eyes,she heard him open the door, and then shut it again. She was alone. Alone for good. Her heart was broken and there was nothing anyone could do to change that.
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