I have a fondness for stories that take place 'back in the day'--especially the ones that were written back then. (I'm kind of reworking the very first fanfic I wrote back in '99.)
I really enjoyed the first chapter of this and I'm very much looking forward to digging into more of the story. Also, could that six letter password be another 'J' name? ;-)
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. I know the first chapter is long, but it seemed necessary to introduce everyone. I really hope you enjoy reading more. And as for the password... I couldn't possibly say! ;)
I was surprised that you'd rebooted this story, but oh well. I still plan to read and review it anyway. Besides, I want reviews for my stories, too, so it's only fair I do the same. Right?
As I said, it's oddly refreshing to read stories that take place in the good old (and not so good old) days of the late 90s and early 2000s, when these guys were going strong.
You have good characterization, good dialogue and a decent plot, and I stand by what I said about keeping this story to its true essence and avoiding unnecessary wordiness. That can be tricky, because you don't want to be too stingy with your words, either. Write Tight by William Brohaugh really helps you stick to the point whiile keeping your story fascinating.
I know this is fan fiction, so the rules don't apply nearly as much. But it never hurts to apply them, either. After all, fan stuff has actually helped me write better original stuff.
Author's Response:
I really appreciated your reviews, and credit them with making me take a look back and think that I wasn't happy with what I'd posted – Especially the order of chapters. (Previously they were either too short, or badly organised, leaving me with fifty-something chapters! Crazy!)
Although I don't have the time,(or the heart) to go back and re-write it all again, (at the moment) I have purchased your book suggestion and do plan to cut unnecessary words eventually. For now I am posting the rest of the story as it is to see what people think. This story is something that means a lot to me, and I want it to be as good as it can be so I will continue to edit it until I am happy. Thanks for your encouragement and nudges in the right direction. :)
Poor Clare! A lot for someone to handle in a short amount of time.
I like this, please keep updating!
Thank you.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm really glad to hear you're enjoying it. Clare has been through a lot, but there will be a happy ending for her eventually. :)
