Comments For On The Road
Unicornmaiden13 (Signed) on Sep 06, 2014 03:44 pm (Chapter 4)

Lisa's pregnant? Whoo boy!

"In her heart of hearts she knew that she'd only agreed to a date to spite JC. It was the best way she could think of to get back at him." Goes to prove how hypocritical people can be. But I still felt sorry for Clare when her date ended on such a sour note, and I was impressed at the way she was able to defend herself from that creep. I love that cab driver, even though his appearance is very brief. 

"She knew the experience had made her stronger, but it had also made her cynical and bitter, and she hated that. She hated what she’d become. It wasn’t her. It wasn’t the real her." Nicely said, and it's good to see the girl's conscience finally working on her. 

As for that long overdue talk at the end, I have to be honest: it was well worth the wait, and I'm sure glad you didn't take another 20 chapters to get there. Even if it still takes a while before Clare and JC officially get over what happened and make up, it's good to see things are finally facing the right direction. 

Well done, mate.




Unicornmaiden13 (Signed) on Sep 05, 2014 09:12 pm (Chapter 3)

I must say, as lengthy as this story is, it's a surprisingly quick and entertaining read. I admire how you show how no one is a perfect saint but there's still something to like about them. You can't help loving them at the same time you want to choke them. 

"He didn’t want to start a fight over this, and he knew that he and Clare were like gunpowder and flame when it came to Libby. One wrong word and there’d be an explosion." Reminds me of the way I describe certain scenarios in my own stories, that "lit match in a closet full of dynamite" thing. 

"It made him feel sick. He couldn't bear the thought of her being with another man, even if it was only to have dinner and drinks." Makes perfect sense to me. So much sense it's almost scary. 

I love your portrayal of Chris and hope you start including him at least a little more often. 

As for Clare and JC, it's about time they got that sucker into the open. I don't hate Clare, not yet; I still see a silver lining in that dark cloud. And I will say this does add a touch of amazing realism. 




elle-miranda (Signed) on Sep 04, 2014 11:52 am (Chapter 3)

oh, clare clare clare. jc finally got it all out and that's your response? she's being so rough on him about going back to alyson and the way he handled all of that. he handled it poorly to be sure (but he is a guy, and sometimes they don't think things through well), but like chris said, they weren't together. and a shared kiss and some flirting does not a committment make. 

all that said, i'm still in her corner. do i think she's being mulish and kind of a little ridiculous? yes, totally. but at the same time, after everything that happened with libby, and how traumatic and scary that time was, i can also see how, emotionally, she's not in a necessarily stable place. and she feels like jc deserted her. i also figure there could be some backstory explanation for why she is the way she is, which could totally tie in to how she's being with jc. i really hope he has enough fire and steel in himself to continue to pursue her and not to let her continue to shut him out.

poor libby. i hope her migraines aren't a sign of a bigger issue. and will the mystery of lisa's illness ever be revealed? good stuff, hon! i'm looking forward (as always!) to more!   




musiccrazedjazzy (Signed) on Sep 03, 2014 06:37 pm (Chapter 3)
oh get over yourself clare, he said he made a mistake it's been months. yeah what he did was dumb but it's over it's in the past work with the guy for crying out loud. man i feel like I'm yelling at bella when i read twilight. *smh* I'm ashamed i read that series it had some good qualities and dumb qualities. any who yes come on I'm cheering on JC for being stubborn about this.

Author's Response: Wow, I had no idea everyone would be so pissed off with Clare. I must have underestimated everyones love for JC. LOL. Thanks for sticking with it. I hope I haven't pushed everyone's patience too far.



elle-miranda (Anonymous) on Sep 03, 2014 01:43 pm (Chapter 2 *Part Two*)

aaah! you left off HERE?! please, please, pleeeeease update soon!

also, oh. my. gosh. Clare is so stubborn! and she also must have a will made of steel because i can't even imagine how, after all of this time, she's resisted JC. and now that he's looking her in the face? she's a tough nut to crack, that one. 



Author's Response:

Hee hee! Clearly I'm evil, and so is Clare LOL

Don't worry, I just spent all day writing the next chapter. Literally, from about 11 till just now, 8:41. And it's just been run through the editing software, so it's on its way. :) I'm so glad everyone's enjoying it. I know Clare's a bit of a pain in the butt, but I think she's worth it. Thanks for your review!




Unicornmaiden13 (Signed) on Sep 01, 2014 11:30 am (Chapter 2 *Part Two*)

This one made me smile: "She didn’t have the energy to punish him any further, but next time he used the term ‘Baldie’ she’d let him have it." Ohhh yeah, never underestimate what a girl can do, even when her energy reserves are low for the time being. 

Oh boy, how long is this battle of wills going to last between Clare and JC? Sometimes I think he should just grab her by the shoulders and yell in her face that he's not getting married and that the baby is not his own. I know it's more realistic this way, to not have a quick fix or an easy resolution, but the suspense is enough to drive one mad.

And I'll only say this one more time and then I won't bring it up again: be careful of how you portray Clare, lest she comes off as a petulant brat who doesn't deserve what she gets in the end. It is possible to get carried away with a character and a character's emotions. You haven't reached that point yet, but I'm just giving you some friendly advice before you do. I do like Clare and I did feel genuine sympathy for her at the first, but now I'm starting to feel less sympathetic and I'm all, "Oh, come on, enough already!" 

And just so you know, I've updated Fading Sun. I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say that Joey's on the brink of making amends with his other mates. I believe their feud has lasted long enough. 



Author's Response:

I can understand your comments, but I've promised myself to be as true to the original plot as possible. But please be assured that the end is near.

I agree with you about Clare, but I was wary of creating 5 identicle characters in the women, which could have happened. I am confident that I can turn you around to being as fond of JC and Clare as I am.




Unicornmaiden13 (Signed) on Aug 31, 2014 09:22 pm (Chapter 2 *Part One*)

"Sometimes I miss things," Libby admitted quietly. “I miss having roast beef on a Sunday, and hanging around the park with my brothers. I miss being able to see my mum every day, and not being able to beg my dad for money when I’m short.” She chuckled at the memory. “I’m sad that I’ve missed so many Christmases and birthdays, too. But do I regret moving?” She hesitated as though she needed a moment to think about it. “Definitely not. Our life in the States is so amazing and I could never give up all that we have.”

Well said. Very well said.

"So what exactly do you guys have to do to prepare for a photo shoot and interview?" Lisa asked Joey as he passed by the booth to join Justin and Libby in the kitchen area.

"You mean besides looking cute?" he asked her with a crooked smile, and the girls broke out into laughter as he began to run through a practice of his 'cutest' poses. 

Very funny, and just the kind of answer I'd expect from Joey. 

 

“I know that you were hurt by what happened. I understand that, I really do. But do you really want to carry on like this forever?”

Again, well-chosen words. I'm warming up to Lisa more and more by the minute. 

“I know it’s not all you, Clare. I know JC has as much responsibility to sort this out as you do, but he’s trying. You’re just being stubborn and won’t listen. I mean, what harm could it do to hear him out? Really? Would it be the end of the world?” 

Possibly the best dialogue in the whole chapter. 



Author's Response: Thanks for your lovely comments x



Unicornmaiden13 (Signed) on Aug 25, 2014 06:37 pm (Chapter 1)
Glad Libby is there to curb some part of Clare's temper. I know what Clare's been through, but just be careful about making her TOO unlikeable in this story.





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