Pure- Chapter 3

       “Sky where going to Seth’s party tonight.” He called to tell me “Come around at 10”. Then he hangs up. So what was I doing tonight? I was going to Seth’s party, with Rob. It was hammered into my brain. At nine I got dressed then made my way downstairs. My dad wasn’t home, hadn’t been for days. My mom was cooking dinner. I could smell it, roast chicken and fresh baked bread. She’s humming to herself, looking like a normal happy mom. I don’t know why she bother’s. She’s just going to have to eat it alone. I slink past the kitchen; she doesn’t notice me lastly none has. She hasn’t bothered to look after me, to see how I was. She doesn’t notice my bruises or my marks. I was invisible, replaced in her mind by her ideal daughter, a part of her ideal family that never existed.

       I walk out of the house into the chilly November air, walking briskly through the familiar streets to Rob’s apartment. When I get there he is already in his car waiting for me. I get in to the passenger seat.

       “Why are you late?” he asks staring straight ahead. I look over at his dashboard the clock read 10:35. Shit. “You better start getting your head out of those fucking clouds!”

       “Rob I’m sorry, I just…my mom...”

       “Look, I don’t give a shit about your mom” he says “I told you to be here at 10, I can’t wait on your ass forever” His hands where gripping the steering wheel. When he’s all tight like this anything I say won’t matter. How the fuck could I be so stupid.

       “Bitch, I’m waiting for an answer” He looks at me with that messed up face. I can’t look back at him. He grips my wrist twisting it, then pinning me to the door. “You better not be fucking with someone else!” he shouts.

No words come out of my mouth. “Yeah that’s right; you better not open your big fucking mouth!” He sneers “I know you ain’t got the guts to fuck with anyone but me, you’re my girl.” He leans in and kisses me hard. Then starts the car and we drive to Seth’s house in silence. Rob like’s control, control over anything and everyone. I felt like I was stuck with him.

       We always have to show up at parties side by side just for everyone to know where together, he holds my hand tight making his claim on me. To anyone looking at us it would seem like everything is fine in our relationship, they would never realize that were just fooling them or rather I was just fooling them. I don’t have a clue what going on inside Rob’s twisted mind. He goes over to his boys; they acknowledge me with a nod. When I was with Rob I’m a puppet and he is the puppet master. The only time I didn’t feel like that was when the alcohol hit my lips, that’s what I look forward to at these parties the free booze. Rob was chatting up his group talking about the latest football play or something. I go inside Seth’s house which looked trashed, not that he cared. I walked past him, beer in hand surrounded by sluts.

       Loud rock music was blasting from the speakers. Everyone was engrossed in their own activities. Drinking, making out, getting high, grinding and some passed out on the floor. I go to the back and find the table of beer bottles. I grab one and pop it open letting the cold, hard, liquid go down my throat. I don’t think about the aftermath, I just let the moment surround me. My mind foggy and my body loose.

“I’ve got another confession to make I’m your fool”

        The song screams out of the speakers. The beat coming in, loud in my ears. It feels good.

“Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
you trust, you must
confess
is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?”

          My arms flying over my head, I feel free letting the music take over me. I get on a table, closing my eyes. Floating in mid air, I go deep in my own world. Free nothing to hold me back I wish I could stay like that forever. Then I’m falling, falling through the sky the wind in my face. Something stops me from hitting the ground, catching me. Wrapping around my body, its warmth protecting me.

        -- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

       I feel something wet on my face, seeping into my closed eyes. I open them and see the night sky filled with millions of stars. What the hell.

       “Hey you alright?” says a voice that I didn’t recognize. My head was throbbing and my body aching, I felt something creeping up my throat. Oh shit. I sit up and hurl on the grass. I feel hands on my back, soothing me. It made me think back to a similar scenario. I was sick with the flue, my mom soothing me the same way as my head was in the toilet. After I’m done I feel completely empty.

       “Hear drink some water.” The hands push a bottle of Poland Spring to my face. I take it, my hands unsteady. Our fingers brushed against each other for a second.

       “Thanks” I say finally turning around. He looked right back at me, his expression soft, smile on his face, eyes filled with uncertainty. I’d never seen him before in my life but I found myself wanting to tell him everything.

       “Uhhh” I didn’t know how to respond to him.

       “C’mon Sky” He says to me, holding out his hand. I take it as he pulls me up. I was still a little tipsy. We stood there together, him holding my hand and the stars surrounding us. I take that moment in.

       “How do you know my name?” I ask him. He looks at me blinking; he seemed transfixed by the stars.

       “Rob told me about you.” he replies. Just like that the moment passes and I come back to reality. Seth’s party was still in full swing behind us. He was still looking at me, holding my hand. I look at him too.