Have you ever heard that quote “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened?” Clearly this person was trying to take the high road, rather than bitch and moan that whatever happened ended. However, I’m not going to be the bigger person…I’m going to bitch and moan that my vacation to North Carolina is over. I’m especially going to bitch and moan that I haven’t talked to Alyssa for almost ten months now. But have you ever noticed that when one thing goes wrong in your life it has a snowball effect.
My personal life is a complete disaster and it’s carrying over into my career. I’ve turned into this huge asshole and there’s absolutely nothing anyone can do or say to make it stop. I don’t even know if I want to change it. All I want is to talk to Alyssa and I can’t seem to make that work. My life has turned into one giant monotonous routine…wake up, work out, drive to the studio, complain about the music, bitch about my schedule, go home and eat, then go to bed. I have no variation nor do I even want any.
Trace is about the only person I can stomach around me. I’ve blown up on him a few times but he’s my boy and knows I don’t really mean it. I just need something or someone to take out my frustrations on and he’s the easiest target. When I left North Carolina I thought everything between Alyssa and I was great…so why the hell have I not heard a damn thing from her in ten months?!
“Hey man…” Trace said when I opened the door to my house. He’s practically been living with me ever since North Carolina.
“Hey…” I said while throwing my bags down on the floor and walking straight to the refrigerator. I grabbed the one thing that’s been able to numb the pain of losing Alyssa, a beer.
“Still no word huh?” He asks as he motions to my beer.
“Would you think otherwise?” I said with sarcasm dripping from my words.
"Why don’t you just fly out there and see what’s going on?”
I rolled my eyes and blew past him into the living room. “If she won’t answer her phone or return any of my calls…I don’t think showing up on her doorstep would go over so well.” I picked up the remote and started flipping through the channels, hoping he would drop the subject. Anytime we get on the Alyssa topic…it usually ends up in me yelling at him and locking myself in my room for the rest of the night. I know it’s the mature thing to do…but I don’t really care.
Trace rips the remote out of my hand and turns the TV off. “So you’re just going to sit here and wallow in your own self-pity?” He spits out.
I can feel the anger rising and I’m trying my best to suppress it. This whole hoopla every night of us fighting is really getting old. “Trace…I really don’t want to go there with you…”
“Just listen to me for a change and if you roll your eyes at me…I swear I will punch you in the face.” Trace warns and I try to restrain the eye roll that desperately wants to come out. I know Trace would never actually hit me; it’s kind of funny to watch him flip out for a change though.
“If you’ll leave me alone…then fine I’m listening.” I said while counting down the seconds till I can tune him out again and get back to my TV.
“I’m really getting tired of your crab ass moods, your constant complaining and your fucking attitude towards everyone. I’m especially tired of watching you beat yourself up over this girl. One, which you slept with but wanted nothing other than a friendship with. Obviously, that’s not really how you feel or you wouldn’t be this torn up about not speaking with her.”
I can feel my body start to shake when Trace gets close to talking about Alyssa and mine’s last night in North Carolina. I’m now the one whose two seconds away from punching him in the face.
“Listen man, you’re like a brother to me and I hate seeing you like this. If you ever listen to me at one point in your life…now’s the time. Swallow your pride and your fear, get your ass on a plane and go see her. For your sake…and everyone else’s.” Trace finishes before standing up and walking towards the door.
“Trace…” I called out.
“Yeah?” He says turning around.
“I’m sorry man…I just can’t.” I said before turning to head upstairs to the comfort and solidity of my room. Anything to escape Trace’s lecturing and the memories that flooded back just at the mention of Alyssa’s name. Once inside, I sat down on the bed and let my head fall into my hands. What did I do wrong? What could’ve possibly happened to make Alyssa not answer any of my calls?
I reached for my cell phone and joggled it in my hands before flipping it open. I dialed the familiar numbers that never seemed to bring me comfort anymore and waited for the infamous voicemail message that I knew by heart.
“Hey it’s Alyssa. Sorry I can’t get to my phone right now, but leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!”
“Alyssa…its Justin. I don’t know what’s wrong or why you won’t return my calls. Please call me. I’m miserable without you. I miss you…”
I shut my phone and set it down on the nightstand. Every night I went through the same routine of leaving her a message begging her to call and every time I never get a response. I don’t know why I continue to call…I guess I’m hoping that one time, she’ll change her mind and answer it.
________________________________________________________________________
My eyes shot open the minute I hear my front door slam. Who the fuck is in my house at six in the morning? If they have a key, they should know better than to be intruding this early. I throw the covers over my head and try my best to ignore the sound of feet making their way up the stairs. I groan as my bedroom door whips open and the lights flicker on. “Please leave…”
“Not a chance in hell buddy…” Trace says as he starts rummaging through my drawers and closet.
Throwing the covers off, I sit up and bed and stare at him as he tosses my clothes around. “What are you doing?”
“Getting you packed…” He says nonchalantly.
My eyes nearly bulge out of my head. If he’s packing me…that can only mean one thing. “I’m not going to North Carolina…”
“I don’t care what you want…” He says while continuing to rip apart my closet.
My heart starts to beat faster at just the thought of flying to North Carolina again and I feel like I might throw up. I can handle the rejection of Alyssa not answering my phone calls each night. But seeing her face to face and having her turn me away would almost too painful to bear.
“Trace…”
“Justin…you’re going. I already arranged a plane to take you there. You have the next two weeks off anyways. Mike’s downstairs in case you decide to fight this and if you want, I’ll come with for support.” He says throwing my bag over his shoulder and walking out of the room. “Get ready…we’re leaving in thirty minutes.” He shouts back up the stairs.
I stood up from my bed and make my way into the bathroom. I know when Trace is joking and when he’s being serious and today happens to be a serious day. That alone makes me nervous because no matter how much of a fuss I put up…I’m going.
________________________________________________________________________
An hour later, I’m securely fastened to my seat on the airplane and we’re on our way to North Carolina. My stomach feels like it’s in my throat and I’m having a hard time breathing. I just know something’s off and that this trip is only going to make things worse between her and I. Not that they could get any worse…I mean I haven’t heard from her in ten months so how much worse could they possibly get?
Trace is flipping through a magazine; Mike is taking a nap, while I’m starring nervously out the window. Honestly, I want to hurt Trace for making me go through this…and that little bastard was smart, bringing Mike with as protection. Chicken.
“It’s a five hour flight Justin…I suggest you find something to do rather than stare out the window and then over at me. You’ll thank me one day for this…” He says before turning his attention back towards his magazine.
My blood is practically boiling from his smug attitude and care-free aura. When we get back to California that boy has it coming to him. I decide to put my iPod on and let my worries get caught up in the music, maybe it will help calm my nerves.
I guess the music worked because the last thing I remember is putting it on shuffle and closing my eyes. We landed a little bit ago and Mike’s driving us back to where it all started, The Radisson. Thankfully, I don’t have the same room as I did before…I don’t know if I could handle that.
After getting ourselves situated in our rooms, I took a minute to give myself a little pep talk. There’s no fighting it anymore, I’m already here and I might as well man up and go find her. I decided to head for the one place I figured she’d be hiding out, her office.
I made the short trek over to the events building and opened the door. The familiar rush of cool air hit me and I felt my stomach tighten. I turned the corner and walked down the hallway towards her office but was stopped by a young woman carrying a load of papers.
“Can I help you?”
“Umm…I’m looking for Alyssa Powell. Is she in today?” I said trying to keep my voice steady. I certainly don’t want to explain myself to a complete stranger.
“Oh, I’m sorry. She no longer works here.” The woman says while putting her folders down on a table. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Alyssa loved this job…why would she give it up? “Do you know where I can find her?” I asked.
“Hmm…I think she has a house back on 29th court. I’m sorry I don’t know the numbers…”
“That’s fine…Thank you. Oh, one last thing…do you know why she left?” I asked.
“No, I’m sorry…I was brought in on short notice to replace her.”
“Ok, well thank you.” I said before turning to walk out of the building.
Everything about Alyssa’s disappearance is getting weirder. First, she stops answering my calls and now she quit a job that she adored. What in the hell is going on with her? Before, it was my pride getting in the way of finding her…now I need to find her to make sure she’s ok.
I quickly made my way back into the hotel and up to my room. I needed to talk to Trace. I banged on his door but there was no answer which means…he’s in my room. I slide the key into the slot and push the door open. Of course, there’s Trace sitting on my bed flipping through the TV channels.
“Hey man…so did you find her?” He asks while looking up from the TV.
I reached over and turned the TV off. “No…she no longer works for the hotel.”
“That’s weird…did they say why?”
“No…”
“So how are you going to find her now?” He asks as he gets up from the bed.
“I don’t know…the only place she’d be is her house.” I say, but immediately regret it the minute if flies off my tongue. It’s one thing showing up at her work…it’s another at her house.
“So go to her house…” Trace suggests.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” I said lamely.
“Dude…you’re already here. What are you going to do…hide out at the hotel and hope you bump into her on the street or something?”
“Maybe…”
“Whatever man…listen let’s go get something to eat. But tomorrow morning you’re going to her house and trust me you don’t want to fight with me. I’ll call the big man whose two doors down.” He scoffs.
“Yeah…by the way, could you be anymore of a puss? Bringing Mike with?!” I taunt.
“It worked didn’t it…” Trace says confidently before grabbing a key and heading out the door.
We stop by Mike’s room to pick him up before making our way down the elevator and towards the car. I decided to take them to the crab shack Alyssa had taken me the first week I was in North Carolina. Even though, I’m still the worst crab cracker in history…it’ll at least be a good time.
A few minutes later, we were sitting down at a table drinking a few beers and making fun of each other’s inability to rip open the shells. I thought I was bad at this…you should see Trace. He’s fucking terrible.
“Dude seriously…Alyssa would be all over your ass right now.” I said before finishing off my second beer.
“Well it’s a good thing she’s not around then…” Trace says before taking the last swig of his beer.
Mike’s first to get up and start heading towards register and we follow closely behind. I guess I wasn’t really paying attention to where I’m going because suddenly I’m colliding with someone.
“Oh…I’m so sorry…” I stammered out.
“Justin…” Her voice calls out.
My heart practically stops and my throat goes dry. That voice has become so ingrained in my head, every night I hear her voice message, hoping that I can connect to the real thing again.
“Alyssa…” I managed to squeak out when I saw her standing before me.
“Honey…are you ready?” A man calls out to her and I look over only to see neighbor boy with a confident grin on his face.
“Honey?” I questioned while raising my eyebrows at the pet name.
Alyssa’s eyes are downcast and she tries to look away before answering me. “Yeah…Ryan’s my fiancé.”
I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Fiancé? What the fuck is going on? But before I can ask her anymore questions, she’s already out of the restaurant and walking away with Ryan’s arm securely wrapped around her waist.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey! Thank you all for the reviews, they're great!!! So here we go. Things are definitely going to get a little interesting and complicated! Hope you like it! Please keep the reviews coming...I love to hear from you all!! Enjoy! :)
Story Tags: daddyj
