Life has a funny way of changing when you least expect it, but it’s how you adapt to those changes that shows the true nature of a person. My life has literally turned inside and out since bringing Cadence back to California. She’s my world…my everything and I wouldn’t change a thing. Holding her small body in my arms and having her look up to me with a goofy smile on her face makes my heart explode with love. She’s my sweet little girl.
Having a baby puts everything into perspective. Nothing is important as her…not even my career. Even though it’s certainly not the best timing to have a newborn in my care, considering I ‘m suppose to be gearing up for a world tour, nothing could stop me from spending all my time with my daughter. My daughter…I’m still getting used to that.
Cadence has been with me in California now for almost a week. I’ve completely re-decorated my house making sure it’s safe for her. I’ve hit up pretty much every store available buying all the necessities and even some toys…ok maybe a lot of toys for her. But hey…it’s my little girl we’re talking about here. I’ve even called for some back-up in the form of my mother. She was thrilled to learn she had a granddaughter and I literally have to pry Cadence out of her arms when I’m home. But my mom’s been teaching me all about feedings, changing’s, sleeping, or lack there of, you name it and I’ve learned about it. She’s been a huge help. I thought doing concerts every night was exhausting…but taking care of Cadence is more work than I could’ve ever expected but more rewarding then tens of thousands of fans screaming. Because when she looks up at me with those big blue eyes…I forget about everything except how lucky I am to call her my child.
I just finished a rehearsal for the upcoming tour and am now rushing home to be with my daughter. I’ve talked to Alyssa about three times each day…she calls to check up on Cadence but I think she’s calling to check up on me and offer any words of wisdom. Rounding the street corner I can see my addition and I can’t wait to see my baby’s smiling face. I pull my car into the driveway and practically jump out of it before I have it in park.
“Mom…you here?” I yelled after opening the door and throwing my keys on the kitchen counter.
“Upstairs…” She calls down. I take the stairs two at a time and start heading towards the nursery. Opening the door quickly I see my mom rocking my little angel.
“I was just getting ready to put her down for a nap…would you like to?” She asks handing Cadence over to me and walking out of the room.
I pull Cadence into my chest and give her a kiss on the forehead. Cadence wiggles in my arms before snuggling deeper into my chest while I sit down on the rocking chair. I wrap the blankets snug around her body and gently start to sway back and forth. Running my hand over her hair and down her cheek I watch her eyes start to flutter close. Softly I start to sing to her as she falls asleep in my arms.
There are two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven
And she’s daddy’s little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus
And I close my eyes
And I thank God for all the joy in my life
With all that I’ve done wrong in my life
I must’ve done something right
To deserve a hug every morning
And butterfly kisses at night…
Cadence is fast asleep in my arms as my voice starts to fade and I stand up and place her softly in her crib. I bend down and kiss her softly before closing the door slightly and heading back towards the kitchen.
“Is she asleep?” My mom asks while taking a drink of water and sitting down in a chair.
“Yeah…she fell asleep right away…” I said while opening the refrigerator and grabbing something to drink myself.
“It’s because you sing to her…”
“How do you know I sing to her?” I asked with my eyebrows raised.
My mom points to the monitor sitting on the counter and I blush slightly. “I didn’t know I had an audience…”
“I’ve been listening to you sing for years Justin. Besides I used to sing to you when you were little too. It was the only way we could get you to fall asleep. Although, my voice isn’t half as good as yours. So how were rehearsals?”
“Tough…there’s a lot of new choreography to learn and this show is huge compared to the last one. There’s a lot we still have to work out but it’s starting to come together…” I said while sitting down on the counter. My mom gives me that look…you know the one that says get down from there. But I remain firmly planted in my spot, it’s my house anyways.
“Have you told Alyssa about the tour?”
I cringe just thinking about it. Throughout all of our conversations this past week…I have yet to break the news about the tour to Alyssa. I’m just learning to be a father and I don’t want to give that up but Alyssa’s made it very clear she wants Cadence shielded from the media and bringing her on tour with me is a sure fire way to get caught. Knowing I am responsible for Cadence’s safety…I actually agree with Alyssa. I don’t want her to be in that spotlight but at the same time I don’t want to give up my daughter.
“I haven’t told her yet…” I respond while shrugging my shoulders slightly.
“Justin…” My mom starts but I interrupt her.
“I know Mom…I need to tell her. I just haven’t gotten around to it and she’s been busy now that her precious Ryan is back.”
“You sound jealous?!” My mom asks while suspiciously lifting her eyebrows up at me.
“I’m not…I just don’t think he’s right for her…”
“Why do you say that?” She asks as she takes a drink of her water.
I seriously don’t want to get into this conversation with my mom but sometimes people just need to vent. “He gives me the creeps…when he looks at me he’s just got this smug ass look across his face. I don’t trust him and I certainly don’t want Cadence around him.”
My mom smirks a little as she nods her head. “Well make it a point tonight when you talk to her to tell her. She has a right to know Justin.” My mom stands up from her chair and starts to head towards the door.
“Where are you going?”
“Back home…I’m exhausted. That little girl can wear me out.” She says laughing before shutting the door behind her.
I take my water into the living room and plop myself down onto my couch. I stretch out and reposition the pillows behind my head before turning the TV on. Since Cadence is taking a nap…might as well too. I turn on a movie and it’s not long before I can feel my eyelids getting heavy.
________________________________________________________________________
I must’ve been exhausted from rehearsals because I finally wake up over an hour later. Immediately I rub my eyes and stretch my sore limbs before getting up to check on Cadence. I take the steps two at a time and open her door. She’s laying there quietly with her eyes open playing with her stuffed animals. She lets out a giggle when she sees me approach her crib, I guess it’s her way of saying “hi daddy.” Gently, I pick her up and head back down stairs.
“Hey baby…how’s my little girl doing?” I coo as we walk into the living room. She continues to wiggle in my arms and laugh as I make goofy faces at her. Why is it that a child can turn any grown man into a little kid?
Suddenly, my phone starts to vibrate across the counter. I pick it up and I don’t even have to look at the caller id to know it’s Alyssa.
“Hello?”
“What the hell Justin?” She snaps at me. What crawled up her ass today?
“What are you talking about Alyssa?” I say while grabbing a bottle for Cadence and throwing it in the microwave.
“Obviously you haven’t looked at the papers…” She says angrily.
“No I haven’t. I’ve been busy…what’s going on?” I say while taking the bottle out and feeding Cadence.
“You’re all over the papers getting stuff for Cadence. They’re speculating about our daughter. Justin we talked about this…I won’t let her be put in that situation…”
I walk into the living room and turn the news on and sure enough there are pictures flashing across the screen of me walking out of baby stores with my hands full of bags. I don’t know how the hell they found me but this certainly doesn’t bow well for me.
“I don’t know how they got those pictures Alyssa…I was….” I start to explain and she stops me before I can even finish.
“Just be careful Justin. I want Cadence to be with you but I won’t let her get tangled in all of that. Please Justin…” She begs.
I look down at that little girl whose got my eyes, my lips and Alyssa’s nose and I realize something. She’s completely fragile and vulnerable to every decision I make as her father and it’s my duty to protect her. I gave Alyssa my word that I would do anything in my power to protect both of them and now is when I need to live up to it.
“I’m sorry Alyssa…it won’t happen again.”
“I know it won’t Justin…thank you.”
“Why are you thanking me?”
“Because I couldn’t have ever asked for a better father for my daughter.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm sorry for making you all wait. I just started a new job and have been working my butt off and I'm super busy planning my wedding next year. So here's a HUGE apology! But this is a little short and I'll get another update out soon! But I hope you like it and THANK YOU all for your great reviews!!
Story Tags: daddyj
