My eyes open with heaviness and my body feels drained. My head is clouded over with confusion to the point where I can barely remember what city I'm in. My limbs ache when I try to move and it's in that moment that I realize Alyssa's pinned my arms to the bed. Knowing, she's sleeping next to me brings a smile to my face. I think back to last night's events and I feel the butterflies start in my stomach. Having her here makes me realize how much I miss her. I miss her smile, her laugh, her touch and most importantly her support. I feel whole when she's by my side and it hurts all the while knowing the heartache she brings each time.
Quietly, I slip away from her arms and get up to check on my baby girl. Softly, I approach Cadence's crib and notice she's sleeping soundly. I lay my hand on her cheek making sure her temperature is back to normal and say a small prayer when I realize she'll be just fine. Deciding I needed some fresh air, I walk out onto the balcony making sure to pull the door closed behind me.
The cool air whips around the building and it rejuvenates my entire being. This tour has been physically and emotionally draining and tomorrow, I finally fly back home to California. Alyssa and I really need to talk and I'm sure Cadence's whereabouts will be on the agenda. Selfishly, I wish I could take Cadence with me forever and it pains me to know we have to split time with her. I certainly don't want to take Cadence away from Alyssa but at the same time, I don't want to be without my baby. Our situation is so fucking difficult.
A cool breeze brushes against my face and I nestle deeper into my sweatshirt. Rarely do I ever take the time to just enjoy the scenery around me. The sun is shining brightly through the clouds and the breeze makes for a beautiful crisp autumn morning. Even the trees have started to turn their various shades of red, orange and yellow. I guess living in California has desensitized me to the seasons and being out of that bubble gives me a whole new appreciation.
Suddenly my cell phone starts to vibrate, breaking me from my thoughts and I reach into my pocket to answer whoever’s calling.
“What’s up Johnny?” I say while leaning up against the railing.
“Hey Justin…listen, I just wanted to touch base with you about tonight and then tomorrow morning.”
I fold one of my arms into the other and listen intently to Johnny. “Shoot man…”
“The whole crew is getting together at Drink downtown to celebrate the tour and I expect you’ll be there. I know Alyssa’s in town and she’s more than welcome to come along. Also, I have you on the first flight out tomorrow at nine o’clock sharp.”
“All right, that sounds good. What time tonight?” I ask as I approach the sliding door to enter the room again.
“Ten o’clock…”
“Cool…I’ll see ya later Johnny.” I say before closing my phone and tucking it back into my pocket. Smoothly, I open the door and walk back into the hotel room. Alyssa’s sitting upright on the bed and her hair is tied back loosely in a pony tail. She’s slipped into one of my sweatshirts and her legs are tucked up beside her.
“Morning…” I say while checking on Cadence and lifting her out of her crib, once I see she’s awake.
“Good morning…” She responds with sleep laced through her voice.
“How’d you sleep?” I ask as I position Cadence into a sitting position in my arms.
“Pretty well once we actually went to bed. I’m definitely a little tired from watching her all night. How’s she doing this morning?”
I run my hands over Cadence’s face and she looks up at me with a goofy smile. “Better! Her fever’s broke but I think she has a small cough. I’m sure in a couple days, she’ll be back to giving us hell.” I say while tickling Cadence’s side and giving her a raspberry on her neck.
Alyssa laughs along with Cadence before she gets up from the bed. “So what are you doing today?” She asks while rummaging through her bag for some clothes.
“I was planning on just spending the day with Cadence and you. Tonight is the wrap-up party at a club downtown.”
“Oh, I see…” She responds with a hint of disappointment.
“I was hoping you’d come with…I’m sure Mike would love to watch Cadence again. He might not admit it…but I know he enjoys the time with her.”
“I don’t know Justin…maybe you should just spend the time with your crew. I mean this is your time to celebrate.”
I brush her response off with a wave of my hand. “Nonsense…I’d love for you to come.”
Alyssa looks at me with uneasiness in her eyes but reluctantly agrees to accompany me tonight. Clearly, I’d rather spend the night alone with Alyssa but this wrap-up party has been planned for months and I can’t bail on my friends. I just hope Alyssa is ready to let loose and have a good time tonight.
________________________________________________________________________
Tucking my shirt into my jeans, I re-position my tie one last time and smooth my hands down my side. I’ve checked myself over in the mirror at least a hundred times and I don’t really know why. I think it’s a nervous habit of mine…I’m not really all that into the party tonight, considering Alyssa and I have to talk before I leave tomorrow. Ahh…tomorrow that makes my stomach churn in the most unpleasant ways. It sucks just thinking about leaving my girls behind…this situation blows.
Thankfully, a knock on the door interrupts these thoughts and I walk over to answer it. Pulling the door open, Alyssa is standing there in a pair of jeans, heels and a flowy purple top. Her hair is curled perfectly around her head and a pair of sunglasses is perched on top of her head.
“What’s with the sunglasses? It’s ten o’clock.” I ask while opening the door further for her to pass through.
“What? They went with my outfit…” She responds smartly before pulling them down over her eyes. She gives a pose and sticks out her lips for affect.
I roll my eyes before walking towards her and pulling them off her face. “Don’t cover your eyes…they’re beautiful.”
I feel Alyssa tense slightly underneath my touch and the tension between us is practically choking me. I want nothing more than to say fuck the party…let’s have our own one right now but she shifts her weight on her feet before pulling away and breaking the moment.
Alyssa coughs slightly before asking, “Are you ready to go?”
I shake my head gently and quickly gather a couple things before leading her out of the room. Instinctively, my hand falls to the small of her back and together we walk out of the room, letting go of everything and ready for a good night together.
The ride to the club went quickly and we could feel the bass pulsating out of the doors the minute we stepped out of the car. Cautiously, Alyssa slipped her hand into mine and I latched on with every emotion and feeling I could muster.
Walking into the club, my eyes dart from side to side and through the sea of familiar faces. The room seems to be bouncing to the beat of the song and every person has a drink firmly in their hands. Alyssa tugs slightly on my hand and pulls me with towards the bar.
“What do you want?” She yells over the music.
“Miller…” I say while leaning in and the smell of vanilla attacks my nose and I find myself lingering longer than normal. She looks up at me with a weird expression before practically bursting out in laughter.
“Smooth Justin… real smooth.” She chuckles before waving down the bartender and handing me a beer.
I feel a blush creep into my cheeks, knowing full well I was busted. Taking a gulp of my beer, I scan the crowd before deciding on heading upstairs where Johnny’s perched on some chairs. Alyssa tucks in behind me and we weave through the sea of dancing bodies.
“Hey man…glad you could make it…” Johnny says before giving me a hug and then turns his attention to Alyssa. “Alyssa, always a pleasure…”
“Thanks for inviting me Johnny…”
“No problem sweetie…how’s Cadence doing?”
“She’s getting so big…she’ll be walking and talking in no time.” Alyssa answers like any proud mother boasts about their children.
“That’s when the fun begins.”
I nod my head in agreement and get lost in the conversation with Johnny. The three of us talked about our children and the tour. I must admit, even though I was dreading coming out tonight…it’s turning out to be quite enjoyable. Various members from the crew have stopped by to congratulate me on a successful tour and it's awesome to have this chapter in my life come to such a happy end. On top of everything else, Alyssa’s been by my side the entire night, keeping up with me in drinks as well as out on the dance floor. I was quite surprised when she busted out some moves, I certainly wasn’t expecting.
Now, we’re sitting together on the couch and Alyssa’s leg is draped over one of mine. I feel a heavy cloud cover my senses and I know it’s the beer finally catching up to me. Suddenly, Ne-Yo’s song “Make it Work” busts through the speakers of the club and Alyssa practically jumps off the couch.
“I love this song…come on let’s dance.” She says before dragging me down the stairs towards the crowd.
Just as the lyrics kick in, she pulls me close and starts to sway with the smooth beats. She’s grinding her body up into mine and my hands wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. I’m trying to focus all of my attention on the woman in front of me, but I find myself getting carried away with the song too. It’s surprisingly fitting for the situation we’re currently in.
You understand me
At least you say you do
Lately that’s enough for me
Looking for perfect
Surrounded by artificial
You're the closest thing to real I’ve seen
Sure, everyone has their problems
Thats a given
Yours are the easiest to tolerate
This wasn't what we was wanting
How we're living
But let's take this good enough and turn it to great
Baby understand...
Alyssa wraps her arms around my neck, closing the distance between us. Her body is moving in rhythm with the song and my hands roam up and down her sides. Warning bells are going off in my head, but stupidly I push them aside continuing to enjoy our compromising position. I can feel the heat radiating off her body and the smell of vanilla perfume attacks my nose. My hand runs up her side and tangles itself in her hair. Her luscious locks cover my fingers and I pull her so that she’s looking me straight in the eye. I want her to see the raw passion and love I have for her. I want her to know without a shadow of a doubt how I feel about her.
This can only be as good as we both make it
Guess sometimes its gonna hurt (yes sometimes its gonna hurt)
We can be as happy as we want to be girl
But we gotta make it work
We gotta make it work...
Our eyes have been locked for a long time and I can feel my body reacting to all of her bumps and grinds up on me. The combination of alcohol and dancing has brought my mind into a haze and the only thing I can concentrate on is Alyssa.
Sometimes I love you
More than you'll ever know
Other times you get on my nerves
That's just reality
No, it can't always be
Kisses, hugs, and beautiful words
You was looking for your prince
What you found,
Is a pauper with potential
And though, I’m nowhere near perfect..
But I’m around
Girl, time and patience is essential
Baby realize...
This can only be as good as we both make it
Guess sometimes its gonna hurt (guess sometimes its gonna hurt)
We can be as happy as we want to be girl
But we gotta make it work
We gotta make it work...
The smooth beats of Ne-Yo’s song fade into the background and soon the thumping bass of Ludacris is taking over the room. I can feel the bubble surrounding us start to crack and our moment slide away. Alyssa stands on her tip toes before wrapping her arms around my neck, giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.
"I'm going to head back to the hotel...I'm getting tired and I think all the beer is catching up."
“I’ll come with…” I say quickly and she just stops me before I can even continue.
“No, it’s your party…enjoy it. I’ll be in the room with Cadence. I’ll see you later Justin. Oh, one more thing, I am so proud of you…the tour…the man that you are…and most importantly the father of my daughter.” She says just loud enough so I can hear her over the music and I’m left watching her walk out the door. That woman knows exactly when to turn it on and off and she keeps me guessing. She keeps me on my toes and I love that.
________________________________________________________________________
Quietly, I open the door to my hotel room, making sure I don’t disturb Alyssa and Cadence. It’s almost three in the morning and I’m completely wiped out. Thank the lord; I have the next couple months off to just spend time with my daughter because I definitely need it. Cautiously, I step over my luggage I left strewn about all over the floor and approach the bed where I can see the outline of a sleeping Alyssa. I rid myself of my clothes and slip underneath the covers with my boxers on. I wrap my arms around Alyssa’s waist and pull her closer to me. Her face is completely content and her hair is sprawled out all over the pillows. Her eyelashes are tickling her cheeks and her lips are puffed slightly. She looks absolutely beautiful and I want nothing more than to make her mine, to complete our family and know the three of us will be together forever. I’d give anything for her to say she loves me and that we belong together. I need to know where her heart lies, whether it’s with me or Ryan and I need to know before I leave tomorrow.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey Everyone!! Sorry for the long wait...this one was hard. But thank you all for sticking with me and all of your fantastic reviews!! You're awesome. I hope you like it...we're getting close to the end. :( Bummer...but you've been awesome!! Enjoy!!
Story Tags: daddyj
