The shrieking sound of the alarm clock jarred me from my sleep almost an hour ago. After nursing the pounding headache and eating some breakfast, it was about time I start collecting my things for my return to California. I’ve been able to occupy the awkward silences and noticeable tension in the room with shoving clothes into my suitcases. Alyssa’s playing with Cadence while I pack and we’ve both been doing a great job avoiding the inevitable conversation.
After getting in last night, I laid awake for a while just watching Alyssa sleep. She looked so serene and I wanted to remember that moment for the rest of my life. Her hair strewn about the pillow and the blankets tucked up under her arms. Her legs intertwined with mine and hand lying softly across my chest. I’ll always remember that moment because it’s when I feel in love with her all over again. I did a lot of thinking and I realized just how much our paths have always crossed and that no matter what obstacles come our way, we always find our way back to one another. Cadence will forever be the one bond that we share but I want more, I need more. I want to be the man she turns to for comfort, for support for strength. I want to be the one waking up next to her each morning, watching our daughter grow, going to dance lessons and volleyball games together, and saying I love you before falling asleep in one another’s arms. I want that “perfect” family.
All those thoughts swirled through my head last night and I’m absolutely dreading leaving today. I know Alyssa has a lot she wants to talk about but deep down, I sense it’s not going to be good news. I think that is why I’ve distracted myself by folding and re-folding my clothes at least fifty times. I don’t want her or anything else to burst this bubble I’ve been in. But I’m down to my last suitcase and I’m running out of distractions.
“Justin…” She calls out while re-positioning Cadence in her lap.
“Yeah?” I call back but don’t take my eyes off my latest conquest. I’m working on getting this t-shirt to fit into a tiny hole as big as a baseball.
“Come sit down…” She says softly.
My stomach drops and my hands grip tighter onto the flimsy t-shirt. I slowly stand up and let my distraction fall to the floor. With my stomach in my throat, I slide onto the bed facing Alyssa.
“We should probably talk…considering you’re leaving in a couple hours.” Alyssa says nervously.
I nod my head but refuse to say anything.
“I don’t really know where to start…there’s a lot.” She says and wraps her arms around Cadence who’s snuggling into her chest. “Maybe, I should start from the beginning?”
“If it helps…”
“Ok…” She starts before stopping and taking a deep breath. I can tell she’s nervous and in some weird way, it actually calms me. “You know the other night when I told you I was living with my parents?”
“Yeah.” I say recalling our conversation a couple days ago before Cadence got sick.
“I never really go to explain why…there are a couple reasons.” She takes a deep breath preparing to unleash everything.
The uncertainty registers on my face and I nod my head, hoping she’ll continue.
“I’ve been living with them because I just needed some time for myself…I was looking to find myself and re-connect with what I want out of life. I mean, God has given me this beautiful, healthy baby girl and I feel selfish at the same time because here I am running away and taking me time, when in reality I should just be focusing on Cadence.”
“Everyone needs alone time Alyssa. There’s nothing wrong with that.” I say before stretching my legs out in front of me. I’m trying to be supportive and push my skepticism aside.
“I know, but I feel like I’ve let her down. I’ve been so busy thinking about myself that I was losing sight of what’s best for the both of us…or maybe I should say the three of us. My mom helped put it all in perspective one night and you know what, the next night I was on a plane to find you.”
The butterflies start in my stomach and the nervous energy is being replaced with confusion and excitement at the same time.
“I was having a really hard time dealing with our night we slept together because I felt everything deep inside my heart.” She explains before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “My mom could sense something was wrong the minute I got there with my bags. I can’t even tell you how many times I cried over those couple weeks because I realized just what I’d done. Finally, I told my mom everything…every feeling, fear, dream and hope…she just sat there and listened. She let me cry on her shoulder and told me that everything would be all right. It was then when I explained everything to my mom that I realized why I was so confused to begin with. Everything boiled down to you…every feeling, fear, dream and hope was you.”
“I don’t understand…”
“I didn’t either until my mom put it in perspective with one simple question…” Alyssa explains before gently rubbing her hand across Cadence’s head. “She asked me why I was marrying Ryan when I was in love with you.”
“What?” I manage to squeak out. Only, I would respond with that.
Alyssa smiles slightly before continuing. “I said…I’m in love with you…head over heels, butterflies in my stomach love with you. Justin, you’ve had my heart all along and it just took me a little longer to realize what I had right in front of me. I want to give us a chance to be a real family…”
A smile stretches across my face so wide that I feel like my face just might crack at any moment. “What about Ryan?” I ask before sitting up.
“I explained everything to him and told him I couldn’t marry him when my heart belonged to another man.”
I can feel my heart beating hard in my chest and I can’t believe after all this time, she’s in love with me. I lean forward and take her head in between my hands before laying a soft kiss on her lips. I’ve waited for this moment for so long, I was starting to think it might not ever happen. Before the situation can get any more carried away, Alyssa breaks the contact and pulls her head back.
“Justin, there’s another reason I’ve been living with my parents these last few weeks…”
My eyes are wide before I ask, “Why?”
“I sold my house…”
“You sold your house? Why?” I ask completely shocked.
“You don’t really think I’m going to let the two people I love most in my life live in California while I sit in North Carolina, do you?”
I lean over and cup my hands around Alyssa’s cheeks again. “You’re moving out to California?”
“Yeah…but I might need some help finding an apartment though…”
“Oh, I think I can arrange that…” I answer before pulling her face towards mine and capturing her lips once again. I feel like I’m floating on cloud nine…I’ve waited for so long and been through so many ups and downs with Alyssa. That it’s about fucking time…
“Da-Da…” A tiny voice calls out, halting my movements and abruptly pulling me away from Alyssa.
Alyssa looks at me with shock covering her entire face. Both of us are completely caught off guard and we both look towards Cadence before I reach and pull her up towards me.
“What’d you say Cadence?”
She lets out a squeal before clapping her hands wildly together and repeating, “Da-da”
My heart is beating so fast that I’m surprised it doesn’t burst out of my chest. A strong sense of love and pride surge through my body and I hug my daughter tightly to my chest.
“Oh my God Justin…she just said her first word…she just called out for you.”
I can feel my eyes cloud over with tears and I wrap Cadence tightly against my chest. Alyssa has tears running down her face and quickly slips her arms around the two of us. The three of us just sit there holding each other and bonding as a family. This is how it’s supposed to be from now on, until forever…my two girls and I.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey Everyone! First, thank you all for sticking with me through all of the delays and cliffhangers...I really do appreciate all of you and your reviews! I know this chapter is a little short but it's the final conversation between Alyssa and Justin. I'm thinking one more chapter after this...it's been a fun ride and thank you all again! You're awesome!!! Enjoy and please review!! Thanks again!!
Story Tags: daddyj
