It’s late, this much I know is true. The bed is still occupied by two bodies, one lifeless as can be, and the other whose heart beats rapidly unable to stop the thoughts running through my head. The blankets are spread across his frame, only covering the lower half of his body. His body lifts up and down with each small breath he takes, so calm, so warm and so at home. To me, it’s overwhelming because I cannot for one minute grasp what has gone on in the past twelve hours.
I continue to look out the window, the snow still falling down. I begin to hear a noise that doesn’t seem to belong in this perfect little sanctuary of ours and he begins to rustle the covers, attempting to move. I quickly shut my eyes, not knowing what’s going and not wanting him to know that I’ve been awake all this time. I peak through my eyelids, noticing his frame picking up his pager, looking over the past calls and messages, he picks up the home phone, dialing the numbers, getting up and walking away from his spot on the bed.
“Fuck,” he mumbles quietly, and I can hear him moving to get his clothes from the floor. Suddenly, my heart begins to beat faster and I begin to worry that the sound is resonating throughout the house. I reach out to his spot on the bed to confirm that it is now empty. I open my eyes, stretching my body, making my presence known to him.
He walks over to my side of the bed, sitting down as he puts his shoes and socks on. He leans in, nuzzling his nose to mine, “God, I never wanna leave this place.”
I sigh, “Then don’t, ever.”
He finishes slipping on his shoes, “We’re gonna be okay, okay? I’m going to make this all work out.” He runs his hair through his short curls, “We’re going to make it through this, Liz.”
“Don’t make me empty promises, Justin, until you know for sure that everything here is going to work out,” I state, feeling the pain in my heart as I look to the clock knowing I’m not going to wake up with him in the morning.
He looks around, and then moves his face closer to mine, “Trust me, after what’s happened here, tonight, you won’t be able to get rid of me.”
He moves his lips overtop of mine, hovering ever so slightly and he moves closer, finally making contact. The shock runs throughout my body and I know that if this is what kissing him is always going to be like, I’ll be the happiest woman on the planet. I moan as he pushes me further back on the bed, “Justin, please stay.”
He continues to place kisses over my collarbone and all over my face, “You know I’ve got to go if there’s ever a chance for us.”
I pull him close to me, his strong arms encircling my frame, and I never want him to leave. I never want there to be a moment of time that he’s gone for more than a day, I can’t bear the pain knowing he’s not always going to be with me.
He gives me one final kiss, “Once I find a new phone, I’ll call you in the morning. And I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, or tonight at the New Year’s Eve party.”
“Promise me,” I state, moving to his lips again.
“Liz, you’re mine, I’m yours. I’ll be gone for a short moment of time, but we’ll be ringing in the New Year together, I can guarantee you that.” He kisses me once more, “I love you.”
With that, I can hear him as he walks down the stairs, only to walk back up again, he leans against the doorframe with the keys in his hand, “Just so you know,” he states, “I’m taking a key.”
“Justin Timberlake, if you don’t leave my house in five minutes, you never will and I will not feel sorry for the dreadful things I may do to you.” I pull the covers over my head, only to feel him pull them down, whispering gently in my ear.
“Girl, these past few hours were nothing. Give it time, I’m going to hit that,” and he palms the most sensitive part of my body, “so hard, that you won’t walk for days.”
I growl, “I fucking hate it when you do that.” I move the covers off of my body, the only thing hiding my frame being an old N’sync tour t-shirt that he gave to me.
“Where are you going?” He asks, moving with me.
“Going to shower,” I push him out of the bedroom, “You have got to leave now if you’re going to leave.”
“Okay, I’m going, I’m going.” And he walks down the stairs and out the door and I can hear his car flooring down the road.
His face is imprinted in my mind as I take a long, hot shower. I move to get a towel after having enough of the water, looking at the clock I notice it’s become a reasonable six in the morning. If I know my mother well, she’s already up, reading her morning paper, with coffee in her hand. I know the Starbucks down a couple of streets is already open and I move to start getting ready.
I pull the sweatpants on my body, moving to get a heavy jacket, completely satisfied with the messy bun that adorns my head. I walk down the stairs, filtering through all of the keys, finding the BMW keys in the bottom of the bowl. I start the car, walking out the door and I notice men with cameras in front of the house.
“Elizabeth! Are you and Justin dating?” One asks, another moving forward his voice louder.
“Elizabeth! How does it feel to ruin Justin’s relationship with Lauren Winter?”
I move to the car, where they have gathered, “Guys, I hope you all understand that Justin and I have been friends for a very long time. You’re looking for a story that simply is not there.”
I get in the car, moving down the driveway and out onto the street, I pick up the phone to dial his number, hanging up mid way through rings, knowing he hasn’t gotten a phone yet. I leave my iPhone sitting in the cup holder, not expecting anyone to call this early in the morning. I pull the car into the Starbucks, finding a space near the entrance. I pull my scarf tighter around my kneck, not ready to embrace the cold. As I move through the entrance doors, I head to the barista ordering my drink.
I hand her my gift card, waiting for her to process the receipt. “Do you think you’re really that good?”
I turn around to find Lauren standing behind me, all ready for the day, dressed in her William Rast jeans and bomber jacket with scarf. “Excuse me, I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Gonna take the day off, Liz? Had a rough night?” Her condescending tone eats through my good mood this morning.
“Lauren, not that it’s any of your business, because it’s not, but for the record, yes I had a good night.” I move to get my drink from the counter, not knowing what will really push her buttons, I keep my mouth shut.
She moves closer to me, holding her finger out to the barista to wait for her drink order. “One night,” she states, “doesn’t compare to a lifetime.” And she flashes her ring in front of my face, “You’ll never change that, Liz. But thank you for trying.”
I move out the door, unlocking the car door but something in Lauren’s car stops me. The familiar hat is ducked down in the front car seat, ever so slightly shining out the window. I move over to the Mercedes, tapping on the window and he looks up, shame in his eyes.
He rolls down the window, “Listen, I can explain.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I state. I have the strong desire to key the hundred thousand dollar car, but I realize that my maturity prevents me from doing such a thing. I move away from the window and the car door opens, he steps out following me to my car.
He moves to touch me and I can’t help but slap his hand away, “Get the fuck away from me, Justin.”
“Please, Liz. You’ve gotta fucking listen.” He states.
I open the car door, “What could’ve fucking changed in a matter of hours, Justin? Are you fucking bipolar?”
He holds on the door, not letting me close it and allow my emotions to flow over in private, “A pregnancy test. That’s what changed.” The tears well up in my eyes, unable to control the tears from spilling over.
“You really are a fucking sorry excuse for a man,” I state, “And if the bitch is money hungry, just throw her a few million and let us be happy. But you won’t do that, will you? No, you let some golddigger continue to use all of your money and be successful at one thing, having kids to seal the deal. It’s probably not even yours.”
He shakes his head, unable to speak, so I break the silence, “I hate you,” I stammer, “I wish I could take this all back.”
“You don’t mean it, Liz. Just give me some time.”
“No, I’m done wasting my time on somebody preoccupied with a thief. I fucking built my life around you. The puzzle pieces are meant to fit together, Justin, and you won’t fucking let it happen. I refuse to be a part of this circus anymore. Have a happy fucking new year, Justin.”
I slam the car door shut, flooring the engine out of the parking lot, the tears flowing down my face. I somehow knew none of this would last very long.
