It was simple, really, I can remember the August afternoon as though it was yesterday. 

I had always been the soft, comforting shoulder to cry on when the time came, after another person decided it was time to break his heart. Even during sophomore year, when one of my friends decided it would be a good idea to let him off easily the week before the dance. I had always promised him that it would always get better, there would be absolutely no reason for him to worry. “Another girl would come along,” I always said, “another one so much better than before.”

“You know I’m not coming with you to some stupid ass college party,” he states over the phone. “Trace,” he hollers into the background voices, “will you shut the fuck up.”

I can faintly hear the little monster “Lizzy and Justin sittin’ in a tree, f u c k i n-” screams and grunts take over the phone as I can clearly hear my best friend tackling his so-called brother. 

“You son of a bitch, what did I tell you?” He screams.

“J, stop being such a pussy, admit it already, you lo-” more grunts are heard over the phone and he comes back on the line in a huff. 

“I’ll be there at seven,” he states and the line goes dead. 

I had spent the whole night worried about what to wear, panicking on how I would present Justin to my friends. Was he my boyfriend? Best friend? Lover? Friend with benefits? The lines had been crossed so many times that right angles now looked like blurred circles.

He had shown up thirty minutes late as always promised when he gave a time and I wasted no time when it came to introducing him to all of my friends. 

“Justin, I’d like you to meet Lauren, my old roommate. Lauren, this is Justin.”

Lauren looked up, shocked, “You did not tell me you had such good looking best friends, Liz.” 

“Yeah, you’re not the only one she kept that secret from,” and he made the most annoying gesture after that, he winked. As if silently stating and guaranteeing that he, too, would be seeing much more of Lauren in his life.

The rest is practically history. Lauren and Justin began dating that night and have been for the past seven months. It’s nauseating actually. He claims that it feels like his puzzle has been completed, there are no more missing pieces left. She claims that he’s the most amazing thing in the world, second only to his black AmEx. 

I peak around to the living room, my mom looking at me with a disapproving look. To her and Lynn, we have always been the perfect match, both just too damn stubborn to see past our own selfish pride. 

“Honey,” she states as she places another homemade ornament on the tree, “you know it won’t last with her. Shoot, they never stay around long enough for both holidays.”

I glance up, worried, wondering if my face has given that much away. I should know better than to let me see her like this, within the next fifteen minutes she’ll be on her phone to her best friend and it will be the same conversation as it always is. 

“You know that boy, sugar.” she states in her warm southern accent, “try as hard as he may, he can’t keep that type a girl around. The Lord obviously doesn’t seem to think any of those girls be good enough.”

They obviously are, I silently think, because if that wasn’t the case then he would have realized what has been standing in front of him for years. “I know, Momma. What am I gonna do, though? I can’t just keep waiting around for him to come to his senses. I’ve waited around for twenty years and it’s gotten me nowhere.”

She continues to place the ornaments on the tree, pointing at certain ones for me to hand her as she sips her glass of wine. “I know what you’re thinking, you can’t give up,” she promises, “because if you do, he will too.” 

Well, that clearly made a lot of sense. I silently get up, attempting to collect my thoughts with me as I walk up the stairs. I know what’s going to happen this season, matter of fact, I’ve seen it all before. The crazy thing is that he hasn’t even been seeing this girl all that long but the way he speaks about her, you’d swear there was no one else in the world for him. 

I look down at my phone to check my messages and sure enough, he’s left me a text. 

Still on for shopping tomorrow- J

A tear gently streams down my face as I know what he is referring to. I wasn’t supposed to let myself get like this, I was supposed to be strong. Now, though, I don’t believe I’m strong enough to handle the inevitable. 

Sure, see you then.

He quickly responds and I already know what the message will say, as it always does whenever it has been time to help him out with something big. 

You’re the best, what would I do without you?