As she entered her empty house and ran upstairs to hop in the shower, her cell phone began ringing. Picking it up and trying to strip down, she was glad to hear it was Carly.

"Hey, Carly. What's up?"

"Just wondering, you're going to Chris and Mandy's, right?"

"Yeah. I just have to hop in the shower and get ready. I'll be there in like in hour or so." Raleigh heard Carly laugh on the other end of the phone.

"I'd bet on the or so."

"Shut up, Car. Its not my fault I had to pull a double at the café."

"I know I know. So did you want me to ride with you over there? Or did you just want to meet us all there?"

"You can go ahead. Tell everyone I'll be there soon."

"Will do. Bye girl."

"Bye, Carly." Raleigh hung up the phone and went straight into the bathroom to take a shower. Chris and Mandy were having a little get together at their house so everyone could hang out once more before most of them left for school in a week or so. Well, in Raleigh's case, tomorrow. She was excited to be hanging out with everyone one last time, but she was also nervous as hell. Because if everyone was going to be there, that meant Josh was going to be there too. And she hoped he left his New York white trash at the hotel. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Raleigh didn't like the girl. She was never one to hide her feelings, especially from those who tried to piss her off and make her jealous, thus pissing her off more, in the first place. She wasn't positive, but she didn't think anyone else in the group liked her either. What was her name? Edith? No. Evelyn? No, that wasn't it. It started with an e and it may have been a guy's name, that much she remembered.

Erin.

That was it. Erin O'Mally. The bitch who thought she actually had a chance with Josh, Oh no, wait. JC. That's what everyone in New York called him. What was that? His name is Joshua, don't try and shorten it just because you think it's cute and he needed to get away from his southern roots. He is not JC. He is her Josh...but then again, he's not really hers anymore, is he? Maybe that's who this guy really was. JC. He was probably the one who had even broken up with her. Was it possible Josh had separated his new life at school from his old life, the one were she was, the one where all his life-long friends mattered? She blamed the bitch. Erin. He said Erin wasn't the one that had given him the nickname, But Raleigh was pretty sure she was the one who had wanted to change him, oh no, change it. But you might as well say him. When she was around, he was a completely different person. He was a poser. Is this what he was like in New York? When Raleigh had first seen them together at the field, after she about vomited, she noticed how differently he acted. It reminded her of Complicated by Avril Lavign really. You're somebody else around everyone else mainly. He confused her.

Getting out of the shower, Raleigh dried off and got dressed and did her hair and make up. When she was satisfied with her look and was sure she had everything, she left for Chris and Mandy's.

---

Sitting in his jeep outside the large house, Josh took a deep breath. Was he really ready for this? He hadn't seen her, or spoken to her really since Monday night. He didn't really like to think about that. He had been so mean to her. A part of him thought she had deserved it, but now, he felt horrible. And he was so mad at himself for having a conscience about this. He hated the fact that he couldn't hate her, and he wanted to so badly.

Deciding he couldn't prevent the inevitable any longer, Josh got out of his jeep and went up to the house and rang the doorbell.

"Hey asswipe! You're finally here. Get your ass in here." Chris put his arm around Josh's neck and pulled him inside the house only moments before announcing to everyone that he was there without the New York hoochie. Josh thought that was a little uncalled for, but he couldn't really disagree. She did have a lot of guys that were loved and left who still wanted her. That's what she did, she made the guys who liked her think they had a chance with her, and then she'd have sex with them to get something out of it for herself and then she'd kick them out and never so much as look at them again. Why exactly did he hang out with her? He had no idea. Something must be wrong with him he concluded. Apparently all the women were in the kitchen cooking dinner so the guys were all in the living room playing poker. Of course to get into the living room you had to pass the kitchen, and Josh couldn't help but to look in to see if Raleigh was already there.

Oh was she ever.

He caught himself before anyone noticed he had started to stare at her. She looked so beautiful. She was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a red and black tank top that had a corset look to it, probably from Hot Topic, but the way her hair fell over her shoulders in those little curls and the way her black eyeliner off-set her lilac eyes, she was positively stunning. He noticed she was joking around with Mandy and her laughter filled his ears. He always thought she had the cutest laugh. It was a loud sound, but it wasn't too loud that it was annoying. And when she really got going she would start to squeak because it was hard for her to breathe when she was laughing so hard. It had been a while since he had heard her laugh. It felt good.

The next thing Josh knew, Chris had run into the kitchen to get some more beer for the guys and he stopped to rub Mandy's pregnant belly and give her a little kiss. And then it happened. Raleigh's eyes diverted to him, and their eyes locked. He could feel the chills beginning again. She was the only one who could do that to him. It only lasted a few seconds until Raleigh looked away and went to check on something that was in the oven. He wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure it was just so she wouldn't have to look at him. Which he couldn't really blame her for. He did after all make her feel like crap after everything they had been through. But he still stuck with the feeling that she should have told him. But he wasn't going to dwell on it. He was here to hang out with his friends before he went back to NYU, and he was going to have a good time, no matter what.

---

It was after dinner and the guys had all diverted back into the living room to continue their game of poker while the girls all continued to clean up the kitchen. After just sitting around and talking about anything and everything, Mandy took the girls all upstairs. She said she wanted to show them the new room. Raleigh wasn't sure, but she figured it was the new nursery. She had spoken with Mandy a lot, and she had never heard her say anything about the nursery, and the baby was due next month.

Trudging up the staircase, laughing with all the girls, Raleigh was full and ready for what Mandy was going to show them. But as soon as she entered the room, loads of regret filled her mind. She couldn't think or concentrate on anything but the baby colors and the little crib over in the corner or the smell of the diapers and baby wipes and lotion. She saw all the girls disperse throughout the room and Carly held up a little outfit for the baby and said something about it being so cute. But Raleigh couldn't concentrate on everything going on around her. She could only feel the dizziness in her head, and she could only hear the angry words Josh had said to her Saturday night. She had to get out of there. She had to stop the harsh words. She had to stop the tears and the feeling that she was going to pass out.

Running downstairs and outside, Raleigh couldn't hold it in anymore. Everything she felt from the moment she saw Josh at her show up until she saw him walk right in Chris and Mandy's house just flooded out of her through her tears. Everything, it was all her fault. Why Josh had broken up with her, why she had fallen in love with him again, if she had even fallen out of love with him, why her family hated him, why he hated her. Everything was all her fault. And now she was sitting on the front stairs of the house bawling her eyes out all alone and she couldn't stop, and that was all her fault. She had told herself it was trouble. Letting herself close to him again would only hurt her again. And it did. But it had hurt them both. Because if she had distanced herself from him like she had vowed to do after that first night, this would have never happened. He wouldn't have found out, and if he did, he wouldn't have shown her how much he hated, no, despised her now for killing their child. All she wanted more than anything was for Josh to run out here and hold her in his arms, let her cry into his chest and tell her everything was going to be alright. But she knew that wasn't going to happen.

Because she had majorly fucked everything up with one mistake she made seven months ago.

~*~

Josh had just been sitting in the living room playing cards with all the guys when he had looked up just in time to see Raleigh speed by the room with her hand covering her mouth. She looked like she was about to break down at any given second, and damn him, he was worried. As much as he had tried to hate her for what she had done over the last three weeks, he couldn't. All he wanted was to tell her he forgave her and that's what he hated more than anything, the fact that no matter what, he could never hate her.

That's why he threw down his cards, told the guys to deal him out and he ran out the front door and what he saw almost made his heart stop. Raleigh was sitting on the steps with her head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably. Not wanting to scare her, Josh stepped forward and softly said, "hey."

Well, to hell with not scaring her.

Raleigh stood up startled and turned around to see who was behind her. Imagine her surprise to see Josh there looking at her with a worried expression on his face. He was probably just coming out to get something from his car and he saw her sitting there. Did it make him want to run to her and hold her the way she longed for him to? Did he want to kiss away her tears? Or did he just want to run away screaming because he hated her and she always seemed to be in his way?

"A-are you ok?" He stuttered a little, which made a crap-load of new thoughts run through Raleigh's mind. He only stuttered when he was really nervous or worried.

Wiping away the tears that stained her cheeks, Raleigh sniffled loudly before softly murmuring a "just fine."

"You don't look fine, Ray." Why now? Why did he have to be nice to her now? She didn't deserve it and was probably reading more into it than she should have, but it was killing her even more. He looked at her with such caring eyes and worry in his soft, beautiful voice. She couldn't take this much longer. She couldn't speak, she couldn't even think. So she shrugged in response.

"It's nothing." Her gaze was peered to the ground. She couldn't look at him anymore, for if she did, she would lose all control again.

"Ray, I know you. You don't cry over nothing. What happened?"

"Why are you doing this?" Her voice was soft and shaky. Couldn't he see that this was tearing her apart inside?

"Because, believe it or not, after everything that has happened, I do still care."

"You shouldn't." She whispered, wiping away the tear that had had the nerve to escape her red eye.

"Please, tell me what happened."

She shouldn't. She didn't want to. But dammit she needed to talk to someone or she was going to explode. He seemed willing to listen and he was the only one that needed to hear what she was dying to say. Letting out a deep breath, Raleigh simply said, "Mandy took us up to see the nursery." But that was all she needed to say. Josh knew why she had run out sobbing, he knew why didn't want to tell him.

"Oh." Was all he could say.

They were both silent for what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes. Josh couldn't stand it anymore. He had to know. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have come home to be with you."

Raleigh looked up at Josh and was certain she saw his eyes tearing up. This hurt him just as much as it hurt her. "I didn't want you to be with me only for a baby. I wanted you back, but I wasn't about to do that to you. You wanted to see what else was out there. You didn't want a girlfriend to hang over your head. So why should I dangle a baby there too?"

"But why did you go and..."

"Because I was scared!" She practically yelled at him. "I was scared of being a single mom, I was scared I would never get the chance to go to school and work on my music ever again. I was scared that you would come home and resent me for not letting you have a future. I was just so scared. I didn't' think you would ever find out. I wanted you to be happy with who ever you found up in New York."

"Well, that plan did a lot of good, don't you think?"

"God, I'm sorry Josh! Ok? I am so sorry I did that. I wanted so badly to hate you when you came home, but I couldn't. I let myself fall in love with you all over again and I knew I shouldn't have. Because if we got close again, you had a bigger chance at finding out. But I didn't care. You were here for three months and I thought maybe we could go back. God, I just....I love you, Josh. So much. I always have and I always will. You sending me that letter was like a fucking death call. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. I sheltered myself away from everyone. The only person I wanted was you. But I knew that wouldn't happen and when I found out I was pregnant, I had picked up the phone and a pen and paper so many times, but nothing ever seemed to come out right. So I gave up. I got scared and I did something unforgivable. And James was there and I was vulnerable and we ended up getting together. I think I wanted to prove to myself that the world doesn't end with you, but no matter how hard I tried, thoughts of you never left my mind. You were always right there with me. I never got over you. I never stopped loving you. The world may not have ended, but mine did. I'm just....I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Raleigh held onto herself tight and let the tears run down her face, let the sobs coming out of her throat.

"It's ok."

Raleigh looked at him in disbelief. "No it's not. I did something so horrible, how can you stand there and say you forgive me, that it's ok what I did to you? You can't."

"Too bad. Because I do." Raleigh looked up into his crystal blue eyes and found nothing that told her he was playing some sick joke on her. He was really forgiving her. How could he do that? Stepping closer to her, Josh put his hands on both sides of her face, causing her to look him in the face. "I love you, Raleigh Coons. Always and forever."

"I love you." Raleigh sobbed as she let him pull her face to his own. Their lips met in a passionate kiss. One that Raleigh never wanted to end. Their mouths fit perfectly with each other. The kiss she had waited for for so long had finally come and it was perfect. She still fit perfectly against him and she was so happy. She couldn't remember anytime in the past year that she had been so happy. Pulling away form the kiss so she could breathe, Raleigh wrapped her arms around Josh's neck and held on tight. There was no way she could let him go now. They had been through too much. This time, she was sure, they were going to make it. There was just one problem.

She was leaving for LA tomorrow.