Annette and Melissa owned a 1920's brick bungalow on a quaint, Magnolia tree-lined street in Atlanta's historic Morningside neighborhood. Midtown was the assumed pulse of the gay community-Morningside was about as far as a person could live and still be considered to be living in Midtown. Annette found the house first, and despite living in such a nice area, the house was in disrepair. They'd spent the last five years turning it into the home of their dreams and it now sat proudly among the other half million dollar homes on the block.

I heard Annette squealing  as soon as I stepped out of the car. I paused, wondering if I was brave enough to go inside. If I got back into the car and just drove away, I could avoid the overt show of emotion. I had been gone for months, and phone calls had been sparse, so our reunion would be quite a spectacle. I deeply considered leaving, but then I'd have Melissa mad at me, and no one wanted that. I let the door close with a soft thud and marched up the sidewalk to the front door.

"Oh my Gaaaawwwd, look who's home!" Annette threw open the door before I could even knock and tugged me inside. She alternately hugged me and then pulled back, and then hugged me again, beaming and giggling and as overly excited as a puppy. "You look so good, so thin, so tan! LA took good care of you!"

"JC took good care of her. Come here, girl." Melissa was always the calmer one, but I could tell by the strength of her hug that she was emotional on the inside. "Was the house okay? I went over about once a week, and I think your brothers were going by, too."

She linked an arm with mine and led me to the sunken living room, where I curled up in my usual spot. Annette set a tall glass of iced tea on the table in front of me, slid a coaster under it, and sthen perched next to Melissa on the sofa. The whole setting was so familiar and comfortable and usual. I hadn't been to their place in months and it felt good to be there. To be home.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, waving her off. She'd taken better care of my house than I had. "Thanks for watching over it, for me. If I wasn't working, I was with JC and I just didn't see flying home."

"Oh no, of course not. It was right on my way home from work." As was her habit, her hand came to rest on Annette's thigh and she squeezed, ever so lightly. "So, Qwest went off without a hitch, and things are good with the man?"

"Qwest is great and things with JC are incredible."

I filled them in on sketchy details, leaving out a lot of things I wanted to keep to myself for now, especially the elephant sized thought that seemed to be taking up all of the space in my mind. I couldn't get around it or over it or under it. It was ever present and heavy and I wanted it gone, but I didn't know what to do with it. I already knew what Melissa would say, and I wasn't in the mood for a lecture. I was missing JC like crazy and I was liable to snap at her.

"And Charles and Regina and... everyone? Have ya'll talked since you left?"

I nodded. "A couple of times. Things have calmed down a lot, thank God. I can't take anymore drama. I should be seeing everyone this summer, so I'm looking forward to that."

Melissa smiled, one of her ‘lips pressed together, trying not to bust into a grin', smiles. "Well, great. We were just... so happy to hear that you met them. How are your parents doing with all this?"

I winced, involuntarily scratching at my neck. We'd always been wide open about Regina and her issues, but when information started flowing and I started making plans, they became quietly supportive, and not as vocal as I had expected them to be. It seemed to be a sore subject and I was avoiding it.

"I think... I think they're a little freaked out," I explained gingerly, reaching for the glass of tea in front of me. "They had no idea that Regina knew who my dad was, so that was a shock. They're cautious about Regina. Hope she stays clean, for everyone's sake."

Melissa shifted and leaned back, propping an elbow up on the back of the sofa. Annette naturally angled against her, her chin teetering on Melissa's shoulder. Their intimacy and closeness was usually heartwarming, but it tugged at me, lately. Everything reminded me of JC. Everything made me want to be with him.

"What do you think? Like really, from your gut?"

I had tuned her out a little--it took a second to recall what we'd been talking about. "About Regina?"

"Well. Yeah," she said, blinking at me. "You know, she hasn't been clean that long. And she's done the rehab thing before. Do you think this is it?"

What did I think? Was I really giving her a chance this time? Based on sounding good and looking good and connecting me with my dad and my grandparents? Did she deserve that? And if not, couldn't I, just this once, give it to her anyway?

I shrugged and traced the rim of the glass with a finger. "This is the longest she has ever been sober, and when I saw her, she was different. Like, remorseful and really wanting to move forward. Not like every time before. And she might screw up every now and again but she's in a good place. I have no idea what tomorrow might bring but she looked and sounded and acted the best I've ever seen her, so..."

They nodded, together. Melissa chewed on her bottom lip, deep in thought. Annette brightened and sat up. "So, tell us about LA! Did you meet any of JC's famous friends? Go to any parties?"

I snorted and dipped my head shyly. "Well, I met Lance Bass last weekend."

"Oh my God, you're kidding!" Annette flailed and fell back against the couch. "He is such a cutiepie! Tell me everything."

I sat up and set my tea back on the coaster. Where Melissa was usually bored by my ‘guess who I met' stories, Annette was the complete opposite. I knew she would enjoy hearing about meeting one of her favorite celebrities.

"So, JC threw me a party, a sort of going away thing," I started, "and you know how well that went over..."

###

The phone startled me as it buzzed against the wood of my desk. It woke me up, actually, from a light doze. My body clock was three hours off, and I couldn't seem to readjust to East Coast time. I wasn't falling asleep until 2 or 3 am and I had to be back up a few hours later to get to work. I was dragging all day, and then I couldn't keep my eyes open once I got home. For the second night in a row, I was forcing myself to stay at work and plow through documents and research on StarTel's next potential client.

"Hey," I said, instantly wide awake. I loved it when I heard from JC out of the blue.

"Hey," said a sweet voice in my ear. He sounded so close, but I knew he was so far away. God, I missed him. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," I managed to choke out. "And how are you?"

"Just alright?" I could just see him narrow his eyes and tilt his head at me.

"Yeah. I'm tired. I can't get used to being in this time zone. And I miss you." I grinned and hoped he could hear it in my voice. "Answer me!"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he said through a laugh. "I'm good."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he said, exhaling a long breath. "For the first time in, like, a week I am doing nothing. Feels good. What are you doing?"

My eyes shot around the small room that StarTel referred to as an office. One wall was lined with bookshelves, floor to ceiling, nearly full with any kind of manual or text or guide a Marketing major could ever wish for. I couldn't get a raise but I could get $300 worth of research materials whenever I wanted them. My desk, a dark brown, dull wood, sat in the middle of the room. It might have been an antique, but it wasn't in good condition. Maybe I could get JC to come to the office and fix those drawers, too. A glance out of the blinds covering the window only led to the office across the hall, which had darkened hours ago. I was alone in the office suite, except for the cleaning crew that would show up at 9.

"I'm working," I answered, followed by a grumpy ‘humph'.

"Yeah? On what?"

I chuckled, remembering our conversation a few weeks before. "Technical jargon and other such things. You don't want to know."

He laughed that deep laugh from the pit of his stomach. "I'm sure I don't. I was being polite. So, I won't keep you, but I need to run something by you."

I cradled the phone on one ear, and started to shut down the computer. "Oh? What's that?"

"Uh, so... I'm gonna miss your birthday."

"Yeah," I answered, shoving papers into folders. "We talked about that. It's okay."

"Okay. Well..." He stopped to clear his throat, dragging out the moment. "I wondered if you could manage a trip out of town, maybe a couple weeks after that."

"Out to LA? JC, honey I don't know if I can get away again so soo-"

"No, no... babe. To New York."

My hands stopped moving and the rusty cogs of the JC Fan Wheel began to churn in my head. I had to be careful-if I was too excited, he would shut down and refuse to talk. "Uhm, so...you only go to New York for meetings and to record. Which is it that you're going to New York to do?"

He was quiet, and it was driving me crazy and he knew it. "A little of both," he finally said. Nonchalant. Casual. Fucker.

My fingers gripped the desk, slipping a little, leaving little smear marks on the wood. "You have a meeting? Is it a meeting I want to know about?"

"Ssssooorrrtttt of...," he answered, drawing out the word. His cocky grin was coming through loud and clear over the airwaves.

"Tell me!"

"It's just a meeting, sweetie. I've had a hundred of them in the last year."

"Well, right but you've been out there, recently. Like, out in media. Is it someone that saw you on the show?"

"Could be. I don't really know but I guess so. Anyway," he said, brushing by the topic. "I have a pretty short meeting scheduled and while I'm up there, I might get into a studio. See a show. I thought you might like to come. I'll be going crazy by then."

"I'm going crazy now." I sighed, my mind already speeding forward a few weeks and imagining seeing that face, that sexy saunter coming toward me, feeling those arms close around me, kissing those kissable lips.... I could barely breathe, thinking about it. "Uhm. Send me the dates. I'll see if I can. I want to say yes, but they're being kind of weird right now."

"Weird? How's that?"

I groaned, remembering strained conversations with a few of my co-workers when I came back to work. I hadn't told JC, since it wasn't that big of a deal, but if I asked for time off to go to New York, it was sure to cause a wave.

"I guess there are pictures or something floating around, of us hanging out. So now they act like I was on vacation or something. I mean, I totally pulled Qwest off by myself, while managing my current client list, but yeah, I was hanging with celebrities and living the good life on the company's dime." I began again to shove folders and papers into my bag, closed the laptop and unplugged it, and strapped it into its spot.

"Oh. Shit. That sucks."

"It does. So, I want to say yes, but I'll have to let you know for sure."

"Well. Okay."

Dammit, I hated that sound, that downturn in his voice and stern expression that came with it, like he didn't want anyone to detect he was affected, except that he just sounded so... disappointed. I hated to make him sound like that.

"I'll ask tomorrow," I said softly. I hoped I was reassuring and convincing, especially to myself. "I'm sure it'll be okay. Thanks for the invite."

"Sure. It's a perk of being my girlfriend. I get to miss your birthday because I live on the other side of the country and try to make it up two weeks late."

"You used to say that's what airplanes and telephones are for." I laughed to myself as I finally stood, slung my bag over my shoulder, and checked my desk for anything I'd need to take home. I found nothing, and rounded the desk, headed toward the door. "So, listen, I'm all packed up and I'm heading out of here. Can I call you later?"

"When you're in bed? With the webcam? Mmhmm, please do."

My eyes slammed shut as a bolt of electricity shot through me and centered at the small of my back. "Stop it. I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too," he said, the smile in his voice coming through. "Call me later, then."

I pressed end, shoved the phone into a pocket in my bag and meandered down the semi-lit hallway toward the double doors leading out of the suite. I hated to get dramatic-- it really wasn't my style-- but certain things needed to still fall in place for JC and me, and if they didn't, well... I'd shove them into place, if I had to. Just let them try to keep me from him.

###

"So, the last time you had that look on your face, you admitted you told JC you loved him. What now?"

I glanced up from the patio table that I was painstakingly setting, in preparation for brunch at my place. It would be the first time that all of us girlfriends were in the same place at the same time since well before I left for LA. It was long overdue, and I was looking forward to it.

"What the hell are you talking about, Melissa?"

"Oh, I think you know."

"I don't think I do." I set the last place, stood back, and admired my work. Classy, Elegant. Fun. Perfect. I smiled at the finished product and looked up at Melissa, who was leaning against a column, eying me. "What?"

"You have this look-" The doorbell interrupted her. She threw up her hands and huffed out a breath. "Nevermind. Get the door."

A line of giggling, prattling, chatty women filed into the house and out to the patio, carrying Tupperware and Rubbermaid containers of brunch foods-finger sandwiches and muffins and fresh fruit-and mix for mimosas. Melissa's comments and observations were lost in the shuffle of food and drink and girly conversation. My heart sighed with relief-I had missed them.

A few hours later, Jen, Melissa and I lazed around the table, staring at the mess of plates and napkins and empty champagne flutes. "Well, you guys might have noticed I skipped the mimosa," Jen announced, red-faced and beaming. "Brian and I are expecting!"

Melissa snorted. "So that's what the pooch is? You're not just fat?" I smacked her on the arm and she burst into giggles and a wide grin. "I'm just kidding! Congratulations, honey! Maybe you can rub some off on Serena."

I choked on the last swallow of orange juice and champagne, and coughed to clear my throat. "Don't start with that," I said, when I could. "No babies!"

Jen pouted, in dramatic fashion. "Awww, you guys would have cute babies!"

"I am squashing this conversation. Now. Except to say congratulations, Jen. I know you and Brian have been uhm... working hard at that." And they had. Jen had been to several specialists for infertility and had taken every recommended drug or vitamin. She and Brian desperately wanted children, so a pregnancy was the best news that could ever come, for them.

"Ask her why she has that weird look on her face." Melissa nodded her head toward me-I still had no idea what she was talking about.

"I'll bite," Jen said, rubbing her belly and grinning, positively glowing. "Why do you have that weird look on your face?"

"I don't have a weird look on my face."

"You know, you have a nice patch of dirt right over there, Serena." She pointed to an earthy spot, just off of the patio. "We could do a damn good vegetable garden. It's a little late to plant..." Her voice trailed off as she fell into deep thought, and then her head whipped around, her eyes so narrow they were like thin slits in her face.

"See? Something's wrong. Normally you start spouting off scientific things like prime planting season and drag me off to Lowe's. What happened to you in LA?"

"I worked in LA," I shot back at her, stabbing at the air with a finger. Her eyes grew wide and she reared back. Something inside me broke. I felt the fire in my eyes and before I could stop them, words spewed into the air and I couldn't pull them back-not that I really wanted to. I was more shocked that I was actually saying them and not holding back like I normally would.

"I worked my ass off, in LA. I lost 12lbs, in LA, because I didn't sleep or eat. I also met my dad and my grandparents, who I never knew existed before a few months ago. I've been going through some things, so excuse me if I'm not here for your entertainment, lately. I have things going on in my life that don't involve you, okay?"

Silence fell over the patio as I sat back, huffing like I'd run a mile. Melissa shifted nervously, staring into her lap. Jen gulped and played with the diamond cross she always wore, her eyes wide and jumping from me to Melissa and back to me. I heard every sound around us-- birds chirping and traffic flowing by and kids in the backyard three houses down and loud music pumping from car speakers two streets over, but nothing on the patio- no apologies or backtracking or words that made everything better.

Melissa cleared her throat, lifted her eyes and tossed her hair back. "Do you uhm... maybe want to talk about whatever it is going on in your life? Or should I just leave?"

"Don't leave." Melissa and I both stared at Jen, surprised at the soft voice that interrupted the hard stares between us. "You guys talk. Now." She pointed at us both. "Talk!"

I glared at Melissa and she glared at me, and then suddenly, a smile broke and a giggle bubbled to the surface. "You're such a bitch," she said, laughing harder, bent at the waist, her face turning red.

I wilted against the chair, leaning on the armrest. "I learned it from you."

"Took you long enough to pick it up!" She laughed and laughed until she was choking and stopped to catch her breath and wipe her eyes.

"So, really. Talk. Tell me-us. What's up?"

I stalled, running my fingers through my hair, rubbing my palms on my skirt. I stopped and started, several times, and then, under the weight of concerned stares, decided to just get it over with.

"StarTel has a new client," I said, staring into the small floral arrangement that I used as a centerpiece. "New client is a telephone company local to Boston, but it's almost the same as Qwest, so... the same sales cycle, the same amount of travel, the same extended stay away from home." I looked from Melissa to Jen again in hopes that they were following where I was leading.

"Okay, good news. You've done that before. It's what you do. You're not afraid, are you?"

"No, No. I'm not scared. The thing is that..." I picked up a napkin off of the table, twisting the pale pink linen in my hands.

"The thing is that, uhm...well, things with JC are going really well. I'm happy with him, and he's important to me and I'm important to him. I think. But if his show gets picked up for another season, which he thinks it will, then his ability to travel will be limited. I'll be back and forth from here to Boston, so getting to LA will be out. I'll never see him." I shook my head slowly, feeling a pout forming on my lips.

"That show is one day a week, right?"

"It's one full day for taping, but if they have something special going on, it's more time, plus he's always watching video or in meetings or doing press. So, he has to push anything he would do with that time to other days, sometimes weekends. He's already missing my birthday. I mean, I don't know if I am at the point where I decide my relationship is important enough to fight with the higher ups about, or if I just suck it up and--"

"You suck it up," they said in unison.

"Okay. " I nodded, sitting up. "I get that, I do. I just-- I'm tired. And I'm doing the same thing right now that I was doing three years ago. Gary would never think to send me to a conference or give me anything besides what I'm doing. I want to be more, do more than I've been doing, lately." I sighed, and dropped my eyes to my lap. "I'm thinking of... moving on."

"Well, if that's what you want to do, now's a great time to capitalize on-" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Melissa lean forward, just slightly. I didn't dare look up.

"Serena. You're thinking of moving on elsewhere. Aren't you?"

I twisted the fabric over and over in my palm and let my silence speak volumes.

Melissa was uncharacteristically calm. "Serena, you're not thinking of moving to LA. You're just not. Are you?"

"I have been thinking about it," I admitted. Quiet, and meek, and it sort of pissed me off that I had to walk eggshells about my own life. "There might be great opportunities for me, and I have a lead already. I love the city-"

"And you love your family and your friends and your home and a guaranteed job, here. Tell me this is just an ‘I miss JC' thing and it'll pass. Please, honey?"

I shook my head, my eyes still in my lap, on the linen cloth I was destroying. "I don't think it is, Mel. I just don't."

"So you're going to give up everything you have here for him?"

"Not for him. He's obviously a big part of the package, but not just for him."

"Right." My head popped up and I shot an impatient look at her. She sent the same look back at me. "If it wasn't about him, you'd have chosen to move anywhere in the continental United States. Don't sit there and say you're not moving for him."

"I don't intend to move for him. I'm not going anywhere without a job and I don't think I'm going to live with him."

"So she says, now." Melissa pointed at me, smirking at Jen. "Give her a few months and this place will be up for sale and she'll be packing and changing her address to West Hollywood, California."

My jaw dropped and I had a hard time hiding my frustration. Her reaction was the exact reason I didn't want to talk to her. "Why are you being so negative?"

Melissa's forehead creased with worry lines and she scoffed, incredulous that I would even ask why she had a problem. "Why are you acting like the only woman who's ever had to live away from her man? Annette is gone two weeks a month. Every month. Brian is always in the truck, on the road, all the time. Do you think you're the first woman to miss her man, or something?"

"No," I answered quietly. "No, I don't. But I do know that Annette comes home every two weeks. And Brian is home every third night." I twisted the napkin again, tighter, coiling it. It represented something-maybe it was all my feelings all tightly wrapped up, to save people the trouble of having to deal with them. Excuse me while I feel something over here, don't mind me.

"I also know you're with the love of your life. And Jen, so are you. And so are my parents. And so is everyone else I know, but when it happens for me, you can't wait to tell me how bad he'll hurt me. Make me feel stupid for wanting to be with him. I love him. I want to be with him, at least in the same city, and if I can make that happen, I want it."

The patio was quiet for a few seconds, and then Melissa laughed. "You're sounding dangerously close to a Lifetime Movie plot, sweet friend."

I sighed, then laughed and flipped her off. "Fuck you."

"Thank you," was her customary response. "So, have y'all talked about this? Is he wide open to it?"

I wagged my head-of course I hadn't talked to JC about it yet. I was even more afraid to talk to him than I'd been to talk to Melissa. "I haven't brought it up. I'm not ready."

"Don't," they said again, in unison. I slouched in the chair and blew out a breath. The side swept bang that I'd tried so hard to tame was dangling in front of my face and swayed in the air.

"Look, if you want him to freak the fuck out, talk about how you want to move to LA, because you love him and you just want to be near him. The very definition of suffocation. You can't do that to someone like him."

"Truth," Jen said, her head bobbing. "Wait, Serena. Don't tell him, not yet. Some things need to work out, first. I'm not trying to squash anything for you, I swear."

"Promise us that you won't breathe a word for awhile? Make a plan, throw out some feelers, see if anything comes up for you? Then you can go to him with a plan that makes sense and doesn't sound like you're coming out there to sit on him. Okay?"

I glanced from Melissa to Jen and back to Melissa. I was trapped. I nodded, solemn, tossing the twisted napkin up onto the table.

"Neither of you are getting out of here without helping me clean up."

###

I had sold my soul to the devil, or something of the sort. Not really, but it felt like it. It was touch-and-go for a few days but I managed to convince Gary that the world would not explode and the company would not collapse if I took a day off. So, on an overly warm, muggy Friday morning I was pacing the rows of Gate B-13, waiting for the boarding call.

When the call came, I hardly took note of any nervousness at getting on the plane. I just wanted to see him, hug him, touch him, kiss him-be in the same room, breathing the same air as him. I mentally counted the hours and tried to guess how long it would be before I saw his face: three-and-a-half hour flight, an hour long cab ride, check in, bum around until he was out of his meeting... if everything went well I could be with him before three that afternoon.  Maybe. I sighed, reached into my bag and pulled out my book. It would be a long day.

A relatively uneventful flight dropped me at JFK International, New York City! From the moment I stepped off the plane, I felt different-energized and excited and metropolitan. I couldn't wait to walk around and stare up at sky scrapers, to see the lights of Broadway and ride a double-decker bus and take a ride through Central Park. I wanted to see Ground Zero and the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building-but most of all I just wanted to see JC. It hadn't been that long since I left LA, and the web cam and phone and instant messages helped me feel close to him, but it felt like forever since I'd seen him and there was nothing like being with him.

I hopped into a cab outside the airport and gave him the name of our hotel. The cab driver attempted to talk to me but I was just too mesmerized by the city. Throngs of people bustled down city blocks, looking very busy and important with things to do, people to see, deals to make! Too soon, we pulled in front of the hotel and I wheeled my carry on through the revolving front door toward the check in counter.

I gave the attendant on duty my name and glanced around, for the first time noticing how elegant and upscale the hotel was. JC wasn't much for spending money, but when he did, he did it well. We were steps away from Times Square and Broadway and the moment I entered the lobby I was enveloped in a quiet, serene sophistication. Marble and gold and glossy shines were plentiful and the staff rushed about soundlessly in crisp black suits and polite smiles.

"Yes ma'am, your room is ready." The attendant, who bore the name tag ‘Rodney', smiled brightly and slid two key cards and a printout across the smooth counter. I almost choked at the nightly room rate, but signed the form and slid it back across the counter. He ripped off the carbon copy, folded it, and placed it inside a thin folder and then slid the folder across the counter to me.

"Jeremy is ready to accompany you to your room. He'll take your bags."

I blinked and stared at Rodney as if he spoke a foreign language. I had one, small bag. I could certainly roll it toward the elevator on my own. I gripped the handle and hefted my bag higher on my shoulder, brushing off the offer.

"Miss," he prodded, "I'm directed to take the utmost care of you until your companion arrives. It's no trouble at all. Jeremy will be happy to assist you." He pointed toward the tall, lanky young man with an ill fitting suit and a shy smile.

What the hell? Live a little.

"Well okay, then. Here you go." I handed him my small, single rolling carry on and he led me toward the elevator, making nervous small talk as we went.

Jeremy waited while I swiped the card and pushed the heavy door open. The room was bright and clean and welcoming, soothing colors and lots of space. One wall was floor to ceiling windows obscured by long, flowing, sheer draperies, through which we had an incredible view of the Manhattan skyline and the street down below. So, so, so busy, this city.

On the table next to the window sat an oversize bouquet of Lillies. At first I thought they were artificial flowers and started to admire the realistic touches, but as I stepped closer, I realized that they were real and they were gorgeous and the scent from them was a heavenly light perfume.

"Oh, what a really nice touch," I commented. "These just happen to be my favorite flower."

"Yeah, I brought those up earlier," Jeremy said. He was awkward and nervous and shifted his weight from one foot to another. I realized he was waiting for a tip and quickly dug out a few bills and handed them to him. "They're uhm... special for you. There's a card. Okay, bye."

He lumbered out of the room and I eyed the flowers. Sure enough, there was a card sticking up out of the center of the bunch. I opened it, and in penmanship that was most definitely not JC's loopy scrawl, was a brief note:

Making up for lost time. Enjoy these. See you later.

Love, C

My phone buzzed in my bag and I just knew it was him. "Hello," I answered, my smile annoyingly wide.

"Hey. Just landed." I heard the airport intercom in the background and conversations around him. "Are you in the room?"

"I just checked in. Do you know anything about some flowers?"

I swear I heard him smile, and a short ‘heh' on the line. "Do you like them? You like lilies, right? Did I remember right?"

I smiled into the phone, staring at the bouquet, my heart just about bursting. "You remembered perfectly. They are gorgeous. And they smell wonderful. Thank you so much, you made my day."

"You're welcome. I thought you should have something pretty to look at. Did they tell you about the spa?"

"No, what about the spa?"

"Well there is one, in the hotel. I'll be awhile. I think you should go down there. The hotel website said they have a Stress Buster package or something like that."

"Are you trying to say I'm stressed out?"

"No," he answered quickly. "I'm not. I don't know, I thought you would like that."

I giggled to myself. He's cute when he thinks he's said the wrong thing. "I might go down there. I hoped I would see you around three. You figure?"

"Good guess, but I never can tell. I'll call you-" I heard Eric in the background say something, his tone high pitched and hurried. "I need to go, sweetie."

"Okay. Thank you for the flowers."

"Go to the spa, put it on the room. Let me be nice to you. Just this once."

"Just this once." I winked at the phone, like he could see it. "Have a good meeting. Say hi to Eric."

I sat on the edge of the bed, testing the firm comfort of the mattress. The room was certainly nicer than I was used to. I wouldn't dream of a reservation at that hotel, and yet there I was. I felt weird among all the opulence and fancy decorating, so I got up and flipped through the hotel brochure, made an appointment at the spa and then called Melissa.

"You should see this room," I gushed as soon as she picked up. "And these flowers. Lillies. He remembered!"

"Girl, I can imagine," she said, her Tennessee twang coming through. "I'm so jealous! You are so incredibly lucky."

"Mmmm, I feel kind of..." What was the word I was thinking of? "I don't know, like, a gold digger."

"What? Stop it, he invited you, right?"

"Yeah, but... really..." I glanced around and everything, just everything screamed high class and big money and I felt small and out of place. "This room and these flowers and... the spa. And we'll probably go to a show and eat out a lot... I don't know, it's just a lot. Do you know how much it costs to stay here?"

"I don't think he's thinking about it and I'm sure he doesn't want you to think about it. You think he stays at the Motel 6 when he's not with you? Eats peanut butter and jelly and never leaves the room? You think all of that is just for you?"

"I guess not." I sighed, falling back onto the mattress. "You're right. As usual. I suppose I'll get ready for my appointment, then."

"Listen, just have a good time. Relax, and remember what we agreed, now. You'll be very tempted to tell him and I don't want you to spoil this for yourself. Call me if you need me!"

Spas should be listed as one of the finest pleasures on earth. Right after sex. I took him up on the package he recommended, since he brought it up. I had a sugar scrub and massage, paraffin dip, a facial, a manicure, and a pedicure. I had found heaven on earth, and it was being wrapped in a fluffy, soft terrycloth robe. The whole experience was so decadent and relaxing and soothing, I had to practically pour myself back into real clothes. What a perfect idea, I thought, as I floated toward the elevator.

I headed back to the room with plenty of time to spare before I thought I would see JC, but I heard my phone incessantly beeping as I swiped the card and re-entered the room.

"'bout time. Okay, where are we? What room?"

I plopped into the wingback chair near the window and glanced down at the street below. "1243. Are you done?"

"I am done. Did you go down there?"

"I just got back. It was awesome. I feel so good." I stretched and grinned ear to ear, listening to my heartbeat speed up in anticipation of seeing him.

"Good girl. That's what I want to hear. Getting into a cab, I'll see you in like, a half hour."

I flipped on the TV and surfed the channels until I heard a rustling in the hallway and then a taptaptap at the door. My heart leapt to my throat and I was already choking up. I ran for the door and yanked at the knob and on the other side stood the most handsome man I'd seen in a very long time, looking hot as hell in new jeans, a long sleeved shirt and a vest. He topped the ensemble off with a silvery shimmery scarf that left little gems of glitter around his neck. I normally rolled my eyes at his fashion sense, he could have been wearing a garbage bag and I'd think he looked hot.

I snatched him up as soon as he crossed the threshold, jumped into his arms and held on for dear life. "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, I missed you!"

I felt him laugh, deep in his chest, and his arms close around me and his chin dig into my shoulder. I closed my eyes, willing time to stand still and just let us stay that way, for the foreseeable future. When I could finally let go, I stepped back and held his hands in mine and took a good, long look at him. His eyes were the bluest blue and his bottom lip was caught between his teeth and oh, God. I'd missed him.

"So, hi," he said simply, just staring.

"So, hi back at you," I answered, staring back. "How was your meeting?"

"It went well. It was good. I think I want to kiss you."

"It's been so long since you did. I think you should." But he didn't. He stood there, staring and smiling but not moving. "Well, so are you going to?"

"I'm just looking at you. Can I look at you?"

"You haven't been in the room for five minutes and you're already giving me shit.  Kiss me!"

He laughed and bent toward me. I met him halfway and our lips touched in a light, airy, feather-soft kiss. I stepped closer and opened my mouth against his, literally purring, one hand at the back of his neck where I scratched at the short hairs. He shuddered and stepped even closer, working his hands up under my blouse and stroking my back-- long, soothing, comforting passes up over the band of my bra and back down to the band of my jeans. I rose up onto my toes and wrapped both arms tightly around his neck, lost in the best kiss I'd had in a long time.

He finally pulled back, so we could breathe. "Not that I didn't enjoy the hell out of that, but are you okay?"

"Yes," I said, wiping away smeared lip gloss from my mouth, and then his. "Hell yes, I am more than okay. I missed you, I'm happy to see you. Come here, tell me about your meeting."

I led him to the bed and reached over to the remote to mute the TV. We sat next to each other, so close our thighs touched, and he reached for my hand, lacing his fingers between mine. "Okay. So. What happened?"

"I don't really want to get into it." He shook his head, brushing me off, but I stopped him, tipped his chin with my thumb toward me, so I could see his face and his eyes and he could see mine. I was sincere, not someone looking for more information than I deserved to know.

"You can talk to me, you know. About stuff. I feel like you're always there for me but you don't share things with me." I squeezed his hand in mine. "Please? Even if it was a nothing meeting, I want to know."

He shrugged both shoulders up, and then let them drop. "I don't know that it was a nothing meeting. Just, you know... what are you doing right now, what do you want to do, what are you looking for, did you bring anything to consider... things like that. I mean, we could have done it over the phone but I think it's easy to deny over the phone. If I take the time and effort to be here to meet with them, I think it shows a certain level of professionalism and dedication. You know?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It's like any interview, best done in person. So what's next?"

"We wait." He blew out a long breath, staring at the nondescript pattern in the carpet. "It's one big long waiting game, while they try to decide if I'm worth spending money on."

"Can I know what label it is?"

He shook his head slowly, giving me that straight line grin that made me laugh. "Nope. You'll find out when they offer me something. Right now they're in the same league as everyone else."

"And that is?"

"People not offering what I'm looking for. I'm trying to be patient and do this right, you know, but..." He blinked several times and shook his head.

"I can't imagine how hard this is. You've worked so hard."

"Labels want a guaranteed hit, off the bat, you know? I'm just...not a machine, a hit factory. Least I haven't been in a long time..."

He sighed, and his shoulders sagged as he leaned forward. I almost felt sorry for him, except he would have been offended by that. I just wanted it to be as easy for him as it seemed to be for anyone else.

I leaned against him, gripped his arm, gave him a comforting squeeze. "You're really, really talented, and people know that. Everyone knows that. You're not the next big thing. You're a constant thing. Labels have to see that, you know."

He rubbed the back my hand in his, the rough skin on his thumb creating that squiggle that ran down my back. "Thank you," he said quietly. Somber. "Your support, no matter what, means a lot to me."

He tipped his head up, a sparkle in his eye. "‘Cause I might go poor and have to move to Atlanta and live off of you. Would that be a problem?"

I laughed out loud, considering the decision I was trying to make. "Hell no. You can go live with Dallas."

He chuckled and stared at the TV, the images flashing in high definition. He sat up, his expression brightened, and he declared, "Enough of that. You're here to have some fun. Someone in this room is now officially older than me and she missed her birthday spankin's! Bend over here!" 

He tried to pull me over his lap but I resisted, pushing against him, already laughing and sliding off of the bed. "Swear to God, if you touch me, you will feel pain like never before."

"I don't believe that, for a second," he said, panting, trying hard to land a slap. "I got 33 of these. Stay still!"

"NO!" I scrambled up from the floor and around the side of the bed, leaning up against the wall.

"Oh, see...that's a bad place for you to be, young lady." He stood, and turned around and slowly walked around the bed, his head tipped slightly to one side.

"Is it?" I panted, watching him move slowly toward me. "Feels good to me. Could I maybe get 33 kisses instead of spankings?"

"I think that could be arranged," he said, a moment before he stepped close, and pressed himself against me and crushed my lips with his and stroked my tongue with his and groaned through the kiss, his chest rumbling with the sound. I sighed and leaned into him, slid my hands up his arms and across his shoulders and interlocked them behind his neck.

"How was that?" His chapped, dry lips scraped across the skin of my neck.

"Mmmmm," was all I could say, lightheaded and lost in him.

"I agree." He stepped back, finally looked around the room and then back to me. "These are nice digs, huh? I stay here a lot."

"You must. The guy at the front desk was all ‘do what I say, your companion said to take care of you', or whatever." I rolled my eyes and sat on the bed, watched him glance out of the window where he was scoping out the view.

"I wanted it to be nice for you, for them to take care of you. I didn't know how long I would be in that meeting." He looked back at me and asked quietly, "Did you like the spa?"

"I did," I said, with a solemn nod and a grateful smile. "I haven't been to a spa in... I can't remember how long. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He turned from the window and sat next to me, then held out a hand, reaching for me. "I suppose you have a list. Stuff you want to see, and all that."

"Eventually," I said, taking his hand, stepping between his legs and sinking onto his lap, resting an arm across his shoulder. "Right now, I don't care if we never leave this room. I just wanted to see you."

"Well, here I am." He tipped his head and presented his lips for a kiss, which he got, then spotted the vase of flowers. "I did good with the flowers, huh?"

I followed his eyes to the bright burst of color in the corner. I couldn't help but smile at them. "You did great with the flowers. I love them. I love you. Very much."

"You too," he whispered up to me, drawing an arm around me and pulling me closer to him. I was already dreading leaving, and that was days away. My decision was pretty much made in that instant, sitting in the hotel room with him, listening to the silence, staring into those eyes framed by long lashes that curled up a little. Savoring every second I had with him.

It could always be like this.

"So," he said finally, and gave my thigh a loud slap. "Let's go see some stuff and go eat. I'm sure you're hungry."

"Of course I am," I said, laughing, swinging my legs over his.

Times Square was a blur, literally. Between the MTV building and Virgin Records and the News bureaus, and the Hershey and M&M stores, I was dizzy, standing in the center of the flashing lights and the crowds of people and the jumbo-tron and so much action. Even in Atlanta, that many people in one place meant a parade or something special was going on. In New York, it was just Friday.

"Let's go eat," I said, pulling him toward a sushi restaurant.

We took a walk down the busy New York street after dinner, completely lost in how bright and busy it was. We ducked into a theater to catch a movie, just because, just to sit and snuggle in the dark, unrecognized and nondescript. Like a normal, regular, everyday couple. In New York! I'd never heard of the film JC chose and truthfully, it was awful.

"Oh, come on honey-- it wasn't that bad."

I stopped walking and turned around to face him. "It was that bad. It wasn't even in English, JC."

He closed his eyes and cocked his head back and laughed and laughed. I cracked a smile but wouldn't let myself laugh with him. "Come on. These shoes are killing my feet."

We could not get back to the room fast enough. The second we made it inside, I kicked off the shoes and sat down to rub my aching, throbbing toes. "You know what? Those are those same fucking sandals, remember? The day we spent in LA when I first met you? I'm throwing those shoes away."

He unwrapped his scarf and carefully folded it, then set it on top of his suitcase. "I think you're just hinting for my patented magical foot rub."

"What's magical about it?"

"It makes clothing disappear." I glanced up to find him leaning against the wooden case that housed the TV, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows in my direction.

"Complete with happy ending." I patted the bed next to me, motioning for him to sit down. "New rule. I'm not walking anywhere else."

"Then you won't be going anywhere." He sat heavily next to me and motioned for my foot. I moved sideways and lifted them into his lap, then watched his thick fingers work the muscles and tendons. Not rough. Never rough. His hands were magic.

"You're okay, my little princess," he soothed. "You're full of complaints tonight. You didn't like the movie, your feet hurt..."

"I'm sorry, I'll stop whining.  I'm not used to someone being around to hear it. I like you, though." I wiggled my foot in his lap, up against him.

"Well, good. I was hoping I wasn't next on the chopping block."

"Not yet anyway." He rubbed and soothed and worked and pulled at each foot until I could move them without pain. I sighed, in utter bliss, and swung my feet off of his lap.

"I brought you something." He said it so quietly and simply, as if he'd said the sky is blue. I wasn't expecting anything above a nice trip out of town. The spa was already beyond what I'd hoped for.

"You did?"

He nodded, rubbing his hands together. "I was going to wait until tomorrow to give it you, but I don't want to. You want it now?"

"What is it?"

JC hopped up and laid his suitcase on its side and then unzipped it. He rifled through to the bottom and produced a small white cardboard box and handed it to me, then sat beside me again.

"You didn't have to get me anything, JC. I've never bought you anything--"

"I'm not keeping score," he interrupted. He rubbed his palms on his jeans, and then pointed to the box. "You've given me a lot, actually. Open it."

I slid open the flap and found a smaller box inside. I glanced up at him, turning the smaller box in my hands. "You must have stock in boxes."

He waved at me, motioning me to keep going, his expression playful and amused and excited. Inside the smaller box was a small, black, felt covered box. My heartbeat roared in my ears and beads of sweat popped up along my hair line. This was most certainly not what it appeared to be, but if it wasn't, then... what was it?

I looked up at JC. He looked at me and gestured for me to open it. My shaking hands flipped up the lid of the box to find two shimmering, gleaming, sparkling diamonds staring back at me. A breath I didn't know I was holding rushed out.

"What'd you think it was?" He was almost laughing as he asked.

I shook my head, trying to calm my heart rate. "I didn't think anything," I said, tilting the box just to see the gems sparkle. "I think I've been watching too much Lifetime again."

"Oh." He looked like he didn't know what that meant, really but wasn't invested enough to find out. "Well, before you ask, they're conflict free, or whatever. I have the certificate at home, I forgot to pack it. I had to get Tyler to go pick them up. And then keep the secret."

"JC, I don't even know... what to say." I stared at them, overwhelmed. I had diamonds, precious gems. I just didn't expect them from him and that made the gift all the more meaningful. I made a futile attempt at hiding how moved I was by the whole thing, blinking back tears and trying to stop the pink flush from crawling up my neck.

"You can cry if you want, I did when I bought them." He laughed, trying to lighten the mood, then leaned toward me and brushed soft lips across my cheek. "Happy Birthday, sweet girl. I wish could have been there to give them to you on time."

"You're right here, right now." I laid a hand on his cheek, the day's growth of hair pricking my fingers. "That's all I care about. I love them. I love you, thank you."

"Say it with a kiss." He closed his eyes and puckered up.

I said it with a whole lot more.

*

Sated and relaxed, JC's long frame stretched out in the bed, one hand tucked under his head, the other flipping through way too many channels.

"Nothing. Nothing. Stupid. Infomercial. Nothing. Chick movie. Nothing. News..."

I slipped on my night shirt and crawled into bed next to him. "In summary, there's nothing on."

"Exactly."

"So order a movie. With any luck, we won't watch it."

"Someone insinuates that I have bad taste in movies. Some girl who was like, stomping and stuff."

I rolled to my side, admiring the view of his profile in the glow of the TV. "I did not stomp. I know I didn't, because my feet hurt so badly."

"Yeah, well in my mind, you were stomping."

"You know what? In my mind, I can kick your ass."

He started to laugh, his deep chuckle, shaking the bed. "In my mind, I'd like to see you try."

"I have the feeling that would lead to sex."

"You catch on fast. You know pretty much everything leads to sex, right?"

"I had picked that up."  I giggled, tossing a leg over his midsection and curling it around the side of his body.

"See, that right there? Don't start what you can't keep going." He set the remote down, rolled toward me and grasped my thigh, pulling me closer, up against him.

"Little do you know, I really like that everything leads to sex."

"I had picked that up, actually."

"Well, aren't you smart."

In the mostly dark, except for flashes of light from the TV, I watched him, watching me. Barely blinking, the glint of the brief flashes of light reflecting in his eyes. I felt soft, heavy hands gliding over my thighs, around and up my back.

"Are you enjoying your trip to New York, so far?"

I nodded, my head making a ‘swish' sound against the pillow. "I can't believe I'm here."

A finger reached out and tapped the tip of my nose. "You're cute. So, what's on tap tomorrow? Got anything in mind?"

"I'm kind of overwhelmed. When do you go into the studio?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "I'm here until Tuesday, so maybe Sunday. Monday. Once I get in there, I don't want to leave. I don't want to spend your whole weekend here away from you."

"Well, if you need to get in there, I understand." He blinked and said nothing, but I could just feel him inwardly rolling his eyes at me. "Okay fine, dammit. So tomorrow..."

"Well, we have plans tomorrow night. Just so you know."

"Oh?"

"Mmm." He sounded sleepy, like he could drift away at any moment. "So, whatever you want to do, I'm okay with it. The weekend is yours."

I sat up and reached over him, picked up the remote and pressed the ‘off' button. The room was pitch black in an instant and so quiet. "I'll let you know in the morning," I whispered, and settled in next to him, my back to him. He scooted closer, right up against me, a heavy arm thrown across me, his cheek against my back, his heartbeat strong and steady, reverberating through me.

Every single day of my life could end this way.