I'd swear I was dreaming, if it wasn't so real.

If I wasn't really standing at baggage claim at the Atlanta airport, nervously clutching a printout of JC's flight number and arrival time, the paper damp and smudged from the sweat of my palms. If I wasn't trying to control my breathing, to take full breaths and not pant in anticipation of seeing him come up the escalator and saunter over to the carousels with a huge smile on his face and a sparkle in those blue-green eyes.

I hadn't seen him in almost two months but it was more than missing him, more than wanting to see his face and feel his arms close around me and smell his cologne and kiss his lips. The second that I saw him, this whole ‘selling my house and quitting my job and moving my life to the other side of the country' thing was real. It was actually happening. More than that, the moment I saw the top of his head and then his face and then his chest and then his legs glide up from the floor below would mark the end of long spans of time without him. We would-officially-- be together for the foreseeable future. Or at least the next few months.

Just when I thought I was about to pass out, I saw him, but he wasn't my same handsome, sexy guy with the swagger and the smile. This guy was gaunt-- tired and thin and haggard and looking so ready for a break. My man had been reduced to a physique that was almost bony, a pallor that was pale except for the disheveled stubble and the dark circles under each eye, and a gaze that was so distracted he almost didn't see me until he was right up on me.

When I caught his eye, the furrowed brows and the tired expression softened into a smile. He seemed to exhale and his eyes closed, ever so briefly, as he stopped, set down the bag he had slung over his shoulder and opened his arms. His smile grew wider the closer I came and then in a rush of excitement I was in his arms and he was holding me so tightly and his chin was digging into my shoulder and I never wanted to let go. He was mumbling into my ear, so close I could feel his breath on my skin. "I'm so happy to see you. So happy to see you."

We stood holding onto each other for what seemed like hours but what was probably just a few minutes, oblivious to people around us. By the time his arms loosened and he stepped back, he already looked better, to me. His cheeks had color and his smile was bright and his eyes, framed by those long, lush lashes I loved so much, seemed to sparkle.

"It's been a long time," he said, cupping my chin, his fingers curling up behind my ear, into my hair. Gently, he pulled me up and toward him and covered my mouth with his, sucking in a breath through his nose, making the most delicious sounds as he kissed me. I rose up onto my toes and clawed at him, grabbing handfuls of his shirt and pulling him toward me until we were plastered up against one another. He grunted as he ended the kiss with a smack, sucked in his bottom lip and pulled back so he could see my face.

"This face is a sight for sore eyes."

"Same here," I breathed, beaming up at him. "I'm so happy you're here. You look worn out. Are you okay?"

He shrugged and reached down to pull the strap of his bag over his shoulder again. "Didn't sleep last night. Last minute stuff before I left town. I caught a few hours on the plane, so I'm alright." He nodded his head toward the baggage carousel that was beeping loudly as the motor rumbled to life and bags began to tumble out of the opening.

"I'm looking forward to having someone in the bed with me tonight, though."

"And every night. For a long time."

"For a long time," he repeated, an arm casually hung over my shoulder as we watched the bags begin to circulate. When his oversize black suitcase came around, he lifted it off of the belt and extended the handle. I reached for the bag on his shoulder and slung it over my own before leading the way out of baggage claim to the parking lot.

After dumping his bag and suitcase into the trunk, we piled into the car and headed out of the airport and out to the freeway. I had to consciously direct myself to the exit going in the opposite direction as normal. It felt strange and out of place. I still wasn't used to not living in my house.

"It's weird to be going this way."

"Yeah, it is. Sometimes after work I find myself just automatically driving home, you know? One day I got all the way there and pulled into the driveway before I realized I don't live there anymore."

He laughed, and then leaned back against the headrest. A heavy hand landed on my thigh, just above my knee and squeezed. "I'm gonna miss that place. We had some good times, there."

"We sure did," I said. Nodding. Remembering.

I wondered if he was thinking, like I was, back to all of his trips to that house. Like the first time he came to see me. I was so nervous to have him at my house. I felt inferior, like he was going to judge me for having a nice-but small-house, and driving a nice-but not luxury-car, and living a nice-but not exciting and star studded-life. I remembered being pleasantly surprised at how well he blended into the scene with my friends and my family and my life. Never once was I reminded that he was a millionaire, that he lived a life that was much higher caliber than mine.

Or maybe he was remembering the night just after New Year's when I drunkenly confessed that I loved him. He took the confession in stride, like he was expecting it. Or maybe was just so used to girls getting drunk and saying they loved him, but he didn't seem surprised to hear it. I was still embarrassed about that night and still avoided alcohol mostly because of it, afraid that I would confess other things I hadn't intended to say. I wasn't harboring any more secrets, but sometimes I wondered what lurked in the shadows of my mind, like random questions about his past that I didn't mean to ask-they just fell out.

My fondest memory of our time in that house would be him braving the kitchen to make breakfast for me. I always cooked for him-it was something I enjoyed and I found I rather liked being domestic and taking care of him. Turning the tables like that showed me that he wanted to take care of me, and tried to tell me so in a language I would understand.

That house was a part of our past, a part that I thought I would really miss, but I didn't. Once I packed up all of my things and moved out, it was a mere shell. A skeleton of a life I used to live. I didn't really see it as the end of anything except the beginning. My present and my future were entirely more interesting.

I turned into the driveway at the modest Morningside house that had been home for the past week. We'd stay there for my final days in Atlanta before heading to Orlando. Melissa and Annette had finished the guest suite just in time for me to test it out.

A four poster bed took up most of the space on one side of the room, tastefully covered in a dark bedspread and coordinating light sheets and a mountain of pillows in matching pillowcase. After removing the adjoining wall, the bedroom next door became a sitting room, outfitted with a TV, sound system, and the most comfortable futon I have ever sat on. The bathroom off of the bedroom rivaled the master bath in my own house and the entire suite was so far away from Melissa and Annette's bedroom that it was like we were in a whole separate house and not one end of it. Melissa made no secret of the fact that she expected us to stay there whenever we came back to town.

"Anyone home?" JC was quiet as he stepped inside the house, pausing in the foyer.

"Nope, at work. We're this way." I led him down the hall to our end of the house and let him get comfortable and freshen up a little.

"So... what's the plan? Is there a plan?" His voice echoed off of the tiles of the bathroom, a sound I'd dreamt of hearing and almost couldn't believe was greeting my ears. I leaned against the doorjamb, watching him splash cool water on his face and brush his teeth.

"We're kind of free today and most of tomorrow. I thought I would take the car in for a last minute service. Close my PO Box. Things like that. Goodbye party at Luckie tomorrow night."

He straightened, wiping his face with a hand towel and haphazardly tossing it up onto the towel rack. "I finally get to go to Luckie? You've been keeping that place from me."

"I didn't say when I'd take you to Luckie. I just said I would."

He turned to leave the bathroom but I refused to move, blocking him by gripping the edges of the doorway on either side. He stood in front of me for a second, backed up a step and tried to step forward again. No go.

His jaw twitched in his effort to not smile or laugh. "Is there a toll at this house?"

I nodded. "Uh huh."

"Really. I wonder why I wasn't informed before I showed up?"

I blinked, slowly. "Because. I... just made it up."

"We can do that? Good to know. So, what's the toll?"

"A kiss."

"A kiss? Easy." He bent toward me, slowly, and then stopped and straightened again. Fucker! "Wait, like a peck, or a kiss, kiss?"

"Ooh, good question. A kiss, kiss."

"Like an open mouthed, tongues fighting, moaning, groaning, gettin' all hot and bothered up in here, kiss, kiss?"

I giggled at his clarification, but stood strong in the doorway. "Yeah. One of those."

He bobbed his head side to side, as if he was contemplating and considering. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh at him. He was so damn cute sometimes.

"That's kind of a high toll for getting out of the bathroom, don't you think?"

"It's not for getting out of the bathroom."

"Really. Hunh." He crossed his arms and stepped closer to me, so close I could feel the heat radiating from his body. He bent forward, coming even closer, and asked, "What's it for, then?"

I swallowed, pretty sure that I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. My arms never wanted to drop onto his shoulders, my breasts never wanted to be pressed up against him, my body never wanted to be one with his so badly in all my life. I felt warmth spreading through me, a feeling that I hoped was mutual.

"It's just a general levy. I require them, at regular intervals."

"Hmmm. Seems excessive. But..." he sighed, very dramatically. "I suppose there's nothing I can do. Taxes are taxes."

Before I even blinked, his arms were uncrossed and his hands were sliding around my waist. My thin blouse was short, and with my arms raised, my midriff was bared. The rough skin at the tips of his fingers scraped across my skin as he dragged them around to my back, up under the soft cotton material. His large, warm hands splayed widely, gripping my waist and pulling me toward him. The sudden movement knocked me off balance and I fell forward, into him. My hands let go of the wood I had been gripping so tightly and my arms dropped to his shoulders.

I had been giggling but stopped as soon as I glanced up at him and saw his serious expression, the fire in his eyes, the twitch in his jaw as he seemed to move in slow motion toward me-- head tilting, mouth opening and then warm and soft and supple comfort as his lips settled onto mine. The kiss was gentle at first but built quickly into something hot and passionate and so heavy, I didn't feel like my legs were going to hold me. I was having a hard time breathing, I was pressed up against him so tightly, but I felt like I wasn't close enough to him. I needed to be closer.

JC read my mind, because in three quick little steps I was being turned and pressed up against the wall and he was stepping even closer, as if that were possible. He made the sexiest, most erotic sounds while assaulting my mouth with his tongue and lips, occasionally breaking the kiss to rub against the skin of my cheek with the stiff stubble of his beard, licking at my neck, and then reclaiming my mouth like he just couldn't get enough.

Under my shirt, his hands never stopped moving, gliding along my skin in tight little circles that were sending nonstop shivers up and down my back. I felt his hands travel around my waist and between us, cupping and kneading and pressing and flicking before he gripped the band and pushed the thin bra up and over. Cool air hit my nipples and they hardened, standing at attention. His thumbs rubbed over the tips, light as a feather as he teased them. Lightning bolts shot to my toes and my hips convulsed.

"Shit," I moaned, when his lips left mine for a brief moment. "If you don't stop, I'm gonna come, right up against this goddamn wall!" My heart was beating in my ears, matching the thumping pulse I felt at my core.

"You don't wanna come right here? Right up against this goddamn wall?" He mumbled against my neck, the vibration adding to the convulsions and shivers. I was shaking, head to toe, trying to keep my climax at bay until that perfect, blissful moment when I could let go.

"No. No I don't," I breathed, panting, trying to catch a breath before my mouth was occupied again.

"Too bad," he growled. "I have a toll of my own."

I tossed my head back and laughed, which gave him great opportunity to nip at my neck again. The fingers of one hand left the breast it was kneading and reappeared at the button of my jeans, working it loose, pulling down the zipper and sliding down my lower belly. Thick fingers found their mark and began a slow, circular rub through the fabric. My knees just about gave out on me-had I not had an arm around his neck and one hand full of his hair I would have slid right down the wall onto the floor.

"Oh... my God! Do not stop!"

"Can't," he said. And he didn't. His fingers kept moving, driving me crazy. "Gotta collect the toll, mama."

My hips began an uncontrollable rhythm of rotation and convulsion, working with the speed and cadence of his fingers until he decided the clothes were too much of an obstruction. His fingers left me momentarily while he yanked the jeans down my hips. My panties went with them and then there was uninhibited teasing and flicking and rolling.

"Mmmm... I missed this..." He moaned in my ear, breathing heavy, his warm breath making chill bumps rise on my skin.

I gripped his hair tighter and pulled so his head came up. "Open your eyes," I demanded, breathless. "Watch me."

A flash of something sparked in his eyes and they narrowed as his fingers moved faster, rougher and my hips matched his speed and fervor. "Do it. Come for me."

"I am. Watch me, I'm gonna ... ooohhhhmyGod..."

I felt my eyes start to roll back into my head and my lids flutter, trying to keep them open. White hot fire streaked through my body, curling my toes and arching my back and stealing my breath except for a long squeal that physically hurt when it flew out of my body. My hips would not stop moving and my stomach muscles would not stop twitching as long as his fingers did not stop moving-- and I had the feeling he was trying to milk every last drop out of me before I collapsed to the floor.

"I can't... I can't stand up," I mumbled, soaked with sweat and starting a slow slide down the wall.

I was uprighted by an arm around my waist and lifted off of my feet as we made our way down the short hallway, where I was unceremoniously dumped onto the bed. My jeans, dragged along by one foot, were pulled off and tossed aside. I sat up and pulled my t-shirt and bra over my head and let them fall. I didn't care where they landed.

One moment I was reaching for his t-shirt and the next moment he was bare except for a pair of baby blue boxer briefs, his arousal outlined in the tight fabric that hugged his slight hips and showed off every inch of his assets very well.

"Those are sexy, but they have to come off." I pointed at the briefs and he looked down at them and back at me.

"These?"

"Yeah, those. Off. Now."

He shook his head, a low chuckle coming from deep in his chest. "Impatient little thing aren't you?"

I blushed and rose up on my knees. "Do you need help?"

"Are you offering?"

"If it will get those off of you? Yes."

I crawled on my knees toward him while he stepped closer to the edge of the bed. My head tipped up to his as he bent to kiss me-gentle, softer this time.

"You know something?" I whispered, when he pulled back. He said nothing, but raised an eyebrow.

"I was thinking, a few weeks ago, about how... different things are, with you. Like, compared to anyone I've ever been with before. And I was thinking about how I liked that you were more sexual and sensual than animal and forceful but... I have to admit I really liked the you that was attacking me up against the wall, over there."

He chewed on his bottom lip, trying not to smile. His eyes were giving him away, though. "Yeah? You like him?"

"Mmmhmmm..."

"I like him, too. He gets the job done. You want more of him?"

"Yeah."

"Right now?"

I nodded, then braced as his hands gripped either side of my head and pulled me toward him. His lips crushed mine, and then I felt his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. He let go of my head and grabbed my hands and placed them on him. I wasted no time rubbing him through the fabric from the tip of his head, down the thick, veiny column and back up. He shuddered and groaned into my mouth, then pulled away so he could tip his head back.

I pushed the briefs down his hips and let him kick out of them. And then he was bouncing and erect and...there. I took that as an invitation and pulled him toward me. He let out a deep breath as I lightly grasped him in my hands and ran my tongue up and then down. Slow. Teasing. I looked up and his eyes were closed, his tongue licking along his bottom lip, almost trembling in anticipation.

I took him in, sucking lightly, very lightly. His eyes flew open the moment I touched him. I moaned, full of him, and caught his eye as I began to move. Up, down, faster, slower, deeper, more shallow, more pressure, less pressure. He couldn't seem to draw a full breath-instead he was whimpering and almost panting, his hips beginning a slow thrust. His hands moved to my head and curled up into my hair.

"God, you feel so good," he managed to whisper, in between groans so deep they seemed to come from the soles of his feet.

I moaned in response and sped up. His breath caught and he thrust with more energy. Harder. Faster. I struggled to maintain control, but he had all the telltale signs of an impending climax. I wanted to take him there, lead him to the edge and let him fall over. I kept my eyes open and on his face, watching him watch me, his face growing pink and his breathing becoming labored.

He let out a heavy grunt, his hands digging into my scalp, his mouth grimacing and twisting and his eyes shutting tight. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought he was in pain, not in the throes of a release that was making it hard for him to stand upright. He was swaying a little, falling sideways, shaking as I sucked him in deep, just in time to feel the hot splash hit the back of my throat. I didn't move, letting him work out the last of it, thrusting until he had no more to give.

He glistened with sweat-beads of it were dripping from his forehead onto mine. His skin was pink, but the flush was fading as the wave subsided. He heaved and panted, unable to catch a breath and when he finally pulled away, falling out of my mouth with a flat slap against his thigh, he just barely caught himself tipping over.

I moved aside so he could crawl up onto the bed. He collapsed onto his back, still breathing hard, wiping sweat out of his eyes and his hair. I laid next to him, my head on his chest, riding the rise and fall of his breathing. He curled an arm around me, his hand at the small of my back, working those circles again.

"If you don't stop that, with your fingers, there's gonna be another toll."

He laughed at that, the sound echoing through his chest. "You're so sensitive back there. I love that."

I drew an arm across his midsection, just to have a reason to touch him. He laid motionless for a few minutes, breathing deeply. I thought he was on the way to sleep, but his free hand found mine and moved it down his body, toward a slowly reawakening mass of flesh and muscle. His hand formed mine around him and let go. I gripped him loosely, slowly rubbing back and forth, up and down, adding a twist and a tease here and there. In minutes he was fully erect again. Pulsing.

I rolled over, toward the edge of the bed and opened the bottom drawer, where I kept a box of necessities. I plucked the small black square from a container and glanced back at him when I felt a finger trickle its way down my side and over the curve of a cheek. He was holding himself up for me with one hand, beckoning me with the other, an evil, devilish grin on his face.

"I recognize that look," I said, laughing. "It's that one that means I'm in trouble."

"Uh huh. I haven't been with you for awhile. Got a lot of time to make up for."

I ripped the package open and rolled the thin film over him, then tossed the wrapper aside and laid next to him again. He rolled over, crawled over me and then stopped.

"So the tolls don't count for anything?"

"Child's play," he mumbled, lowering himself onto me. "Teasing. Nothing more."

I sighed at the feeling of his weight sinking onto me. I did always love that feeling. I had missed it. No matter how many webcam and white hot phone sessions we'd had, they didn't compare to being with him.

"Teasing? That was teasing?"

"Mmmmm," he hummed, hovering. "Ready?"

"Ye-" I didn't get the word out before he was inside me, moving deeply but slowly, drawing out the experience. My hands found their way under his arms and around his back, so I could feel the muscles ripple as he moved. When he moved. He seemed to not be moving at all, but balancing us precariously on the edge of titillation.

I laughed, nervously anticipating. "You're so evil to me. Why? I'm so good to you."

He pulled back, so slowly it made my teeth grate. "You're real good to me. That's why I'm so bad."

"That..." I shuddered as he pushed in again. "...doesn't make sense."

"Sure, it does. You love this." He pulled back again, slow, slow, so fucking slow. "You pretend to hate it, but you love." Thrust. "Every." Thrust. "Second." Thrust. "Don't you?"

"Fuck, yeah. I love it."

He pulled back again, painstakingly slowly and then didn't move for what felt like forever. He stared down at me and I stared up at him, writhing and twisting and gyrating my hips, trying to make him move. He was amused by my desperation, smiling and then chuckling and getting joy out of being just out of reach.

"So, you want it?"

I nodded, on the edge of tears, unable to take my eyes off of him. "Yeah, I want it."

His eyes were ice blue and so piercing I felt like he was looking straight through me. X Ray vision to my soul. I wanted him. I wanted to want him for the rest of my life.

"I missed you," he said, in almost a whimper, just short of a whine. "I missed your body. I missed touching you. I missed the way your hair goes, like, everywhere and sticks to your face. I missed the way your eyes go all dark and the way you squeal when you come."

He moved his hips, grinding into me, driving me just a little more crazy. "I missed making love to you. I missed seeing you come right in front of me and moan in my ear and breathe on my skin." He sucked in a breath and shuddered. "I need you. I need to fuck you. Hard. You want me to?"

Uhm... "Yeah."

He smiled. That one evil smile, that he smiled when he was teasing me so very badly, making me want him more. Fucker. "Yeah, what?"

I started laughing, out of frustration, and because he really was funny, when he was trying to be a tease. He was shaking as badly as I was-I could draw out the game forever, driving him just as crazy as he was driving me.

"Asshole."

"Tell me what you want, and I'll do it."

I grabbed his face and found his eyes and I was never more serious than when I said, "Fuck me. Hard."

His expression went cold as he braced himself and slid inside, deep and deeper still, working his hips, unrelenting and machine-like, steadily pounding, driving higher and higher until I was begging him not to stop, never stop, don't ever stop. My throat was dry and closing up, my lips chapped red and cracking, my hips and legs cramping and still he pounded, never slowing or stopping, no more teasing until I hit the wall. My hands gripped him, nails digging into the skin on his back, hips thrusting up at him at a pace I didn't think was humanly possible. I clutched at him, practically screaming despite not really having a voice.

"SHITI'MGONNACOME!"

"Do it. Let it go."

I stiffened head to toe as the shocks coursed through me, my body jerking with the force. Then, feeling every ounce of energy sliding away with the subsiding wave, my entire body went slack. My legs fell and my arms fell and my head fell back and lolled to the side. I felt far, far away from my body, lingering somewhere above us. I was vaguely aware of JC still moving, grabbing a leg and wrapping it around his waist, his moans loud in my ear as he dipped his head to my shoulder.

"Help me, baby," he was whispering. Ragged. Heaving. "Help me."

The sounds of a man who wants desperately to climax, coupled with the slapslapslap of sweaty skin against skin and the steady rhythm of the bed banging against the wall gave me a second wind. From somewhere deep within me, I pulled some strength and wrapped my limbs around him again, my hips working with his. Against all odds, I felt another fire building.

"You're gonna make me come again," I said, laughing.

"Good," he said, laughing with me, breathing hard. "Then I can come with you."

"Better hurry up, I'm halfway there, already."

A strangled cry gurgled up out of him. "Fuck, you drive me crazy!"

I moved my hips up and into him, sending shivers up my spine and a spasm and a clench down below, squeezing him. He let out a low, lustful moan and shuddered.

"Holy...I'm really gonna come again!"

"Wait. Please wait for me. Wait."

I moved my hands to his waist and he pumped harder, moaned louder, and then a wild, loud flurry of movement, a violent jerk, a throaty, rough yelp and he stiffened. His skin was beet red, his eyes clamped shut, his teeth clenched. I could feel the force of his climax ripping through him, painful pleasure making him cry out over and over, the sounds and feelings of which sent me over the edge, again, my cries and moans and grunts mingling with his.

And then... just like that... it was over. Spent, he lost all strength in his arms-they buckled and he fell onto me. I kept my limbs wrapped around him and let him lay there, catching his breath, dripping sheets of sweat on to me, trying to find the energy or the strength or the will to move.

"Serena?" His throat was raw, his voice torn. I hoped he didn't have to sing any time soon.

"Hmmm?" I wasn't doing much better.

He cleared his throat once and then again before he could speak. "Let's never go that long again. Because otherwise you're gonna kill me."

I smiled. Victory. "Aww. I thought that was fun."

"Best sex ever."

I felt him smile against me, and then roll his head to kiss the breast he was laying on. "Still. I'm old. And you're older." He laughed and did his best to block my fingers crawling his skin for an inch to pinch. "I missed your old ass."

"Yeah, well... your ass is only a few months younger than mine, so I missed your old ass, too."

We chuckled at each other and sighed simultaneously, and then chuckled some more. Somewhere in there, my stomach growled, in protest of not having had any food all day. I had been too nervous to eat that morning, and then way too preoccupied with having my fill of him.

"So, we should eat. I guess I'm hungry."

JC heaved a deep sigh, lifted himself up and rolled off of me, swinging his legs onto the floor. He offered a hand to help me up, pulling me to him as soon as I was standing and pulling me toward the door.

"Of course you are."

###

Luckie Food Lounge was ferociously loud and packed with people, wall to wall. From the bar to the seating area to the dance floor, you couldn't make your way from one end to another without having to fight your way through. The meeting room reserved for my Goodbye Party was just as full, except it wasn't packed with people I didn't know and wouldn't miss. It was full of my friends and my family, all coming out to say goodbye and wish me good luck on my new life.

I was determined not to be sad and to have a good time. It wasn't like I'd never see these people again. I just wouldn't be down the street, or around the corner, or a half hour away. It was like JC said when we first started dating-long distance is what phone cards and airline miles were made for. We'd be okay.

If I could just make it through the night.

I made the rounds repeatedly, hoping I'd get to say hi and goodbye to everyone. Along one wall was a bevy of finger foods-chicken strips and slider sandwiches and cocktail shrimp. We had a private bar and a cute bar tender and the music from the dance floor just outside the room was piped in. Most people congregated either near the food or the drinks. Few of my friends were really into dancing and mostly just stood around eating and drinking and laughing and talking. JC seemed to walk around with the same bottle of light beer all night, talking shop with Brian and a few of his band members.

My brothers and their wives showed up for a few minutes, as did my parents. We'd already had the big family dinner with the nephews and the niece, so it was more a formality than anything. I'd see them again in few days, anyway-they would be spending Thanksgiving at Uncle Walt and Aunt Esla's in Tampa while I was on Orlando with JC's family. We hoped to get them all together so our parents could at least meet before JC whisked me away across the country.

It sort of felt like old times, hanging out with all my friends, having some food and drinks, dancing a little, laughing a lot, watching old school videos on the screens hung near the ceiling. Every once in awhile, flashes of the life I used to live-- Pre JC-- crossed my mind. I hardly remembered what it was like to not know him. Not be with him. I felt like I'd known him forever. Loved him my whole life. It didn't seem right that in order to be happy and be with him, I had to leave a life behind.

Life isn't fair, I guess.

Sometime around one am, JC appeared next to me, wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my temple, his stubble just barely grazing my forehead. One glance at him and I knew it was time for the night to end. We still needed to pack up the car and get a good night's sleep since he planned on being on the road in six hours. I sighed as I stared at him. He gave me a sympathetic smile and an admiring pat on the ass as he set down his bottle of beer and headed toward the door.

I wandered off to find Melissa to let her know we were leaving. She pouted, then knocked back a shot and said she'd see us in the morning. Knowing her, she'd still be awake.

JC kept looking over at me, in the car on the way back to the house. "You alright?"

All I could do was nod, for fear I'd burst into tears. It was really my last night in Atlanta.

I was really, really leaving.

Really moving to LA.

I really sold my house and quit my job.

This was really real and really happening.

I was really overwhelmed.

I crawled into bed that night, kind of sad. Kind of scared. Kind of happy. Especially when JC's warm body pressed up against me, chest to feet, and he laid his arm across my waist. It felt normal. Like home. I needed something to be familiar. I was happy that the familiar piece was him.

###

Six am comes very early in the morning, especially if you haven't really slept. If you've laid awake most of the night worrying, your heart pounding, mind racing, thoughts screaming inside your head, the sun breaking over the horizon is blindingly bright and annoying. By the time I finally rolled out of bed, JC was already up and showered and outside, packing the last of our bags and the cooler with snacks and drinks into the car.

I was too tired to be really upset when I hugged Melissa and Annette goodbye. I was positive I'd see them again soon so I wasn't even really all that upset, despite Melissa, still very drunk and overly emotional, clinging to me and wailing so loudly that Annette had to pull her off of me. She smiled and gathered Melissa to her and waived me off.

"Go, before she really gets out of control," she said. "Drive safely." She pointed at JC and scowled. "Take care of her. You hear me?"

He nodded, his mouth drawn into a tight line across his face, and opened the passenger door. I slid in and he closed it, then walked around and got in on the driver side.

"Ready?"

JC looked at me and I must have looked scared out of my mind when I looked at him. He reached over to the passenger seat and gave my hand a pat, and then reached for the keys in the ignition. My heart felt like it was going to fall out of my chest as he started the car and backed out of the driveway, then made his way down the street and headed toward the freeway. I-75 South.

The car was quiet, just the noise of the road as we drove filling the interior. I stared straight ahead, watching Georgia go by just outside my window. After winding our way through morning traffic, the drive became easier and we settled back for the long ride, tuning into a random radio station. Somewhere around Macon, just a few hours outside of Atlanta, the sleepless night overtook me and I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later to a warm hand on my thigh and low music coming from the speakers. It was daylight--bright, hot daylight.

"Hey, sleepy. You need a restroom or anything?"

I sucked in a breath and stretched, looking around. All I saw was a line of cars and people walking into and out of public restrooms.

"Where are we?" I yawned and rolled down the window, but rolled it back up when the heat smacked me in the face.

"Just about to cross over. Do you want to eat here, or in Florida?"

I shrugged and looked over at him. For the first time in... probably forever, definitely since I'd met him, I wasn't hungry. "We can eat in Florida. I guess." I wrinkled my nose at the line going into the restroom. "I'd rather use the bathroom there, anyway. Unless you want to eat, now."

"I'm alright. I got some stuff when we stopped for gas."

"We stopped for gas?"

"Just to top off. Honey, you were out like a light."

He backed out of the rest stop and back onto the road, headed directly for the state line. We passed a sign that announced we were 40 miles from Florida. I started to get excited.

I reached over to the console and turned up the volume, frowning at the odd, symphonic music and the warbling, thin voice over it. "What the fuck are you listening to? Gah."

"Mika," he answered, grinning wide. "You don't know his music? Never heard me talk about him? Where've you been? I love this dude."

"JC..." I sighed. "You remember our first date, when I said you listen to weird shit?"

He smiled over at me, and then looked back at the road. "Uh huh."

"Yeah well. You listen to weird shit."

He laughed and turned it down a little. "You want to pick something else?"

"No." I turned it back up. "Driver's choice, remember? Those are the Road Trip Rules. Besides, I don't want you touching the knob when it's my turn to drive."

"I'm scared. I think I'll sleep through your drive, too."

"Whatever, Chasez."

"Mmmm." He hummed, and then bobbed his head along to the music. "You haven't called me Chasez in forever."

"I know. Feels almost normal. Except I'm not going to work. I'm just... going to Florida. And then California. With no job."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his head turn and felt his eyes boring into the side of my face. Maybe I was being a little bit negative. It had to be getting annoying.

"But hey," I said, perking up. "It's gonna be fine."

"Exactly," he said, nodding and turning his attention back to the road.

"Yeah. Exactly."

"Serena," he said, after a few minutes.

"What?"

"It will be okay. Trust me. Do you trust me?"

"Yeah."

He chuckled, a quick burst of ‘heh'. "Yeah, what?"

I laughed. Fucker. "Yeah, I trust you. I know, it'll be okay."

I breathed deeply, feeling like a new person as we passed over the state line into Florida.

After lunch we switched places, so I got into the driver's side, grumbling as I readjusted everything back to my liking.

"You just have to be freakishly tall and move the seat back. It's like you're sitting in the backseat."

"I'm not freakishly tall," he said, moving the passenger seat back to make room for his legs.

"Taller than I am," I responded, adjusting the rearview mirror.

"Maybe you're freakishly short, and I'm normal."

I laughed at that, starting the car and backing out of the restaurant parking lot. "You, my love, have never been normal."

"I'm normal. I'm more normal than people think I am."

"That could be true. More normal than people give you credit for. But still a freak."

"Takes one to know one."

I blushed, remembering our marathon sexcapade just a few days before. "Shut up, and go to sleep."

"Not tired, really."

We were doing great on time, speeding toward Orlando, talking and joking and laughing at random things. When he got quiet and reclined the seat and crossed his legs at the ankles, I plugged in the iPod and set it to shuffle. As luck would have it, One Night Stand was the first song to play.

He sat up, pressed the fast forward button, and reclined again. I glared at him and pressed rewind, and the song restarted.

"Serena. You're serious?"

"Driver's choice. I didn't touch your Mika. Don't touch my Chasez."

He reached over and pressed fast forward again. I punched his thigh and reach for the button, but he grabbed my hand and pushed it away from the console.

"What is your problem? Don't you know the Road Trip Rules?"

"I should have made a stipulation. No ME!"

"I happen to like YOU. I'm driving, the music choice is mine." I pressed the rewind button and the song started up, yet again. "Touch it again, and I will break your fingers."

"You would not."

"Try me."

Never one to back down from a challenge, he turned the volume all the way down on the stereo, and sat back, staring at me. Daring me to do something.

"Do you have a death wish? Don't make me pull this car over and beat your ass." I reached for the volume knob, but he laid a hand over mine. Soft, not forceful or playful.

"Really, sweetie. I don't want to listen to myself. Okay?"

I glanced at him, then looked at him again and sighed. I pressed the forward button and turned the volume knob up. Ambrosia's Biggest Part of Me blared through the speakers.

"Okay, then. You have to listen to me sing instead," I said, then launched into the first verse, bobbing my head, watching him stare at me, incredulous from the passenger seat. I pointed at him when I got to the chorus, singing badly and off-key.

Make a wish, baby.

Well and I will make it come true.

Make a list, baby.

Of all the things I'll do for you.

Ain't no risk, now,

In lettin' my love rain down on you-hooo.

So we could wash away the past,

So that we could start anew. Hoooo hoooooo!

"This right here?" He pointed, shaking his head, trying not to laugh. "This right here might be what Melissa was talking about when she tried to warn me about road tripping it with you."

I stopped singing long enough to say, "She's a hater," and continued, just under my breath.

"Just think, honey. We have, like... ten days of this."

I smiled a little, then seeing the signs for small Florida towns go by, smiled wider and wider until I was beaming at him.

"Gonna be awesome!"

We pulled into Orlando-Winter Park to be more exact-- around 4pm. I let him drive, since he knew where he was going, and about an hour after hitting city limits we were pulling into the driveway of a quaint French Chateau style house, covered in ivy, surrounded by trees, on the banks of a lake. I heard the water lapping onto the shore from inside the car. The view between the house and the surrounding trees revealed calm waters with just a hint of a ripple, flowing under a long wooden dock.

"I thought someone else lived here," I mused, as he turned the car off. I was losing my excitement at being in Florida, thinking of having to share the house with someone I didn't know.

"Someone does live here. He's gone, right now. Overseas." He glanced over at me, and tapped my hand, then reached for the handle to pop the door open. "Not to worry, we can still have really loud sex. No one will hear it."

"That's not what I was thinking, you pervert." Even though it was. I was on vacation-no reason I could not have sex every night, if I wanted to. Which I did. I planned to do a lot of things I always claimed I never had time, or guts, or money, or desire to do. This road trip might just shock the hell out of my boyfriend.

We got out and walked to the door, where he fished a key ring with a single key out of the mailbox and unlocked the door. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but what I walked into far exceeded any expectation.

While JC's LA home was eclectic and artsy, full of dark woods and bright colors and paintings and seemed very ‘West Coast', this home was laid back, comfortable, cozy, and elegant, more ‘Better Homes and Gardens' than millionaire estate. I stepped into the foyer, tiled with a dark marble that led to a pristine white carpet. I instinctively removed my shoes at the sight of the carpet, poking my head into the formal sitting room with stately, firm furniture standing at attention. I walked past that room to the den, outfitted with large, plush furniture that looked so comfortable. I couldn't wait to cuddle up with JC on that couch.

I walked through the den and around the corner into the kitchen. It was enormous and cozy at the same time-- lots of counter space, a center island as well as a breakfast bar and three bar stools, bright and sunny. It was probably always summer, in that kitchen.

I opened the stainless steel refrigerator, out of habit and nosiness, and was surprised to find it had food in it-milk and juice, fruit, vegetables, bagels and cream cheese, other groceries. The freezer had a few bags of frozen chicken, some steaks and the requisite Toaster Strudels. I shuddered at the sight of them and checked the refrigerator again for food that I would actually cook and eat, relieved to find eggs in their keeper in the door of the fridge and sausage links on a shelf near the bottom.

I walked through the kitchen and den again to the front door, which was standing wide open. I followed shoe imprints in the carpet up the stairs and down the hall to a massive and yet comfortable Master suite. JC was arranging our suitcases and bags next to the closet. The room was tastefully decorated but, like his bedroom in LA, light on personal touches.

"You have your shoes on... I'm telling..." I flipped onto the bed, almost sighing at how comfortable it was. I could lay back and fall right asleep.

"It's my house, and my shoes are clean," he said, giving me that cute, sassy head bob. "Come here, I wanna show you something."

He offered me a hand and pulled me up and off of the bed and over to two French doors covered with sheer draperies. We stepped out onto a large patio, a gorgeous outdoor set parked in the corner of it, the umbrella folded and leaning up against the wooden railing. He pointed out, toward the water--the view took my breath away.

Trees lined the banks of the lake, the tips of his neighbor's homes peeking out between them. Beyond that, and toward the horizon, was nothing but water, a smooth surface, disturbed only by a random wave or a bird, diving for the fish that must have been plentiful. It was the most peaceful place I had ever been-and I had been to some pretty peaceful places.

JC stood behind me, his arms coming around and pulling me back toward him. My head rested on his chest, my hands curled up and around his biceps. He tipped his head to the side and kissed me, just behind my ear, ever so softly.

"I wanted you to see this place, so you could see why I won't give this place up, and why maybe way, far off into the future, this is what I'll come back to. I want my kids to see this view, and to play on that bank down there. I want them to run along that dock down there. I want to put them in the boat and give them a ride across that water. I want my family to start here. To live here."

I nodded, enjoying the view, enjoying the company, enjoying the peace and the quiet.

"Did my card show up, before you moved out?"

I nodded, again. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. He was behind me, but there's no way he couldn't have seen it. His arms grew tighter around me.

"Do you like the house, honey?"

I tipped my head up and back, just barely meeting his lips in a sweet kiss. "I love the house, JC."

He let out a breath, as if he was breathing a sigh of relief, and began a slow sway, back and forth, a light wind blowing and swirling around us, carrying the scent of the trees and the water, dinner from a distant barbeque grill. Under his breath, he started singing, his head next to mine so he was right in my ear, his breath on my shoulder.

Last night, I didn't love you

Last night my world was changed

Last night I didn't know what holding you would mean to me

After last night I'm not the same.