It was just barely morning. At least it felt like it. A long day had poured into a long evening and spilled over into a long, long night. Things between us were best when we could take our time with each other, relax and explore each other, find a new bump or a new freckle or rediscover a favorite spot to caress, or to lick. That was nice, when we could get it, so we took advantage of the unhurried pace of our days lately. Spent a long time talking, gently and slowly sinking into something more, until we couldn't resist any longer and became one being, moving together toward a powerful, explosive symbol of love. I found new places that made him shudder, did new things that made his eyes slam closed and his mouth fall open and unintelligible phrases fly out. More than a year into learning who this man really was, I was still just scratching the surface. There was so much more of him, underneath.

A sound caught my ear and I made myself wake up, though I hadn't been asleep very long. There it was again-the rasp of denim. I sensed that I was alone in the bed. The pink of pre-dawn was just beginning to wink through the heavy blinds and curtains over the windows, through the dark room, sending bands of light around the walls.

"JC?" I propped myself up on one elbow and snapped on the lamp next to me. The dim light captured JC shirtless, mid zip at the foot of the bed.

"No, no, no, no," he whispered, making his way around the bed to sit next to me, pushing at my shoulder, turning the lamp back off. "Don't wake up," said the shadow above me. I felt him sit next to me, on the edge of the bed. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry. I should have dressed in the bathroom."

"Well, you weren't leaving without saying goodbye. Right?"

"Of course not. You don't have to watch me get dressed, though."

I giggled, snuggling back under the covers, loving his hands on my face, brushing back my hair, his body leaning against mine. "Why not? Sounds like fun to me."

He chuckled lightly. "You're so sleepy, you're delusional, honey."

"No, I'm not. I like watching you do things." I found his hand and held it, then brought it to my lips.  It was soft, like always, and carried the scent of tea tree extract. "Sun's not even up, yet. You have to go now?"

"Yep. I want all the time I can get with this guy. We have a couple of songs we can knock out, if we start early."

"You know, there's this whole myth about the music industry, about how artists sleep till the afternoon and work all night."

"Yeah, well..." Our hands moved to his lap, resting on his thigh. He played with my fingers, stroking them, pulling at them. "I've never been the stereotype. I've pulled my share of all-nighters but most of that myth is about partying. I got a lot of friends that are just getting in the bed, right now. And another set that are still going strong."

"And here you are, about to hit a studio before 8am."

"Workaholic, I guess. I don't mind, really." Even in the dark, I could tell he was slightly smiling. He was cute when he was trying to be humble. We both knew he loved every second of it. He wouldn't do it, otherwise.

"Not that I'm trying to tie you down or anything, but what time do you think you'll make it back?"

"Uhm..." He was yawning quietly, his hand moving down his face. I heard his palm scraping over stubble. He breathed deeply, thinking. "I'm not really sure. I'll aim for 8, but I don't know. I'll call you."

God. Twelve hours. I didn't love anything that much.  JC leaned over me, his lips landing gently, softly on mine, lingering before they lifted. "Gotta go," he whispered. "Can't go without a shirt on, so I have to finish getting dressed."

"Turn the light back on. I want to at least see you before you go."

He obeyed, reaching over to snap the lamp back on, bathing the room in soft glow. He smiled down at me, stroking my cheek again, with the back of his hand. "You better go back to sleep, when I leave," he said, and then got up and picked up a shirt and sweater he'd laid across the bed earlier.

"You can count on it," I said, yawning and stretching. So happy I didn't have to get up and go anywhere before the sun was even up. JC wrestled himself into the t-shirt, pulling the sweater on over it, checking his reflection in the mirror. Pulling at it. Neurotic thing, he was.

"So, what are you planning for your day by yourself?"

"Well... first, I'm gonna sleep in the middle of the bed. Really stretch out." His low chuckle from the other side of the room encouraged me. "You don't know what it's like to be imprisoned by you, at my back all the time. I haven't stretched out in ages. I might lay across the bed."

"You enjoy that, honey. Sounds fun. What else?"

"I don't know. I might work out. Work off all the alcohol I've been drinking and good food I've been eating. Maybe go to a spa. Maybe go shopping. Definitely look around. I need to call home, make my rounds. Everyone hates me, I'm sure. I've hardly called."

I'd been getting messages every few days from Garrett and Chris, my parents, Melissa, and Jen. Everyone wanted to know how the trip was going, what were we doing, were we having fun? I was having too much fun to stop and send an email, make a phone call, send a text. Unless JC was driving, I didn't have time. Even then, I preferred talking to him, to sitting on the phone. And I wanted to talk about him. Without him sitting next to me. He made it hard to do that, with always being around.

The bed barely moved under the weight of him sitting on the edge, putting on his shoes. He tied them, the routine and pattern meticulous. Watching him was entertainment. "I probably need to drop a line to my mom, too. I'm gonna get that bitch-out phone call soon. I feel it comin' on."

"Gimme her number. I'll put her on the list of people I'm calling to say, ‘we're fine, stop bugging us'."

"My mom likes you. Don't ruin it."

He walked into the bathroom, the fluorescent light adding to increasing sunlight and the glow from the lamp. Despite the brightness, I was drifting back to sleep, warm and comfortable and exhausted. I didn't wake up again until I felt lips against mine. My eyes fought against opening, but my need to see him won over and I forced them open, just in time to see him pull back. I looped an arm around his neck and brought him to me, again.

"I gotta go, baby."

"I know, just one more kiss."

"One more and that's it."

I laughed, pulling him closer. "You're so stern. Like you can say no to me."

"Someone has to keep up the illusion that I'm the one in control, here." He laughed and lowered his lips to mine, humming as they pressed. Too soon, he pulled away and sat up, shrugged on his jacket and pushed his wallet and phone into his front pocket. "Gotta go. I'm late, now. I'll call you, have fun today. Love you."

"Love you, too."

I was asleep again before the door even closed behind him.

*

"This voice sounds familiar. I used to know this phone number. It used to belong to my best friend on the planet, but I haven't heard from her in forever. That bitch."

I laughed, rolling over in the bed, seriously in the middle of it, snuggled up with JC's pillow. It smelled like him-like his shampoo and his cologne. If I couldn't be with him, I needed to smell him.

The sun was up, way up. I woke up hours after JC left, feeling rested but so lazy. In an attempt to try to make myself get up and out of the bed, I grabbed the phone and dialed Melissa.

"Shut up," I giggled. "Do you want to talk, or not?"

"Yes, girl!" Her Tennessee twang was the part of her missed the most. My heart smiled, just hearing her. "How are you? I miss you! I love you!"

"I love you too! I'm good. Really good." I couldn't help the grin crawling across my face. I knew she could hear it, in my voice. At least I hoped she could-- then it would give her some reassurance that I was okay. We'd spent more than one night talking into dawn about this move and about my relationship with JC and what it meant for her and me, as friends. She was terrified of losing ‘us'. I promised her, swore on our friendship that things wouldn't change drastically.  Now all I had to do was honor that promise.

"You sound good. Aw, it's so nice to hear your voice. Are you still in New York? Tell me about everything!"

"God, it's been so amazing, Mel. JC is amazing; this trip is the best thing we could have done for us."

I had to back up, to the resort in South Carolina-the fishing trip, the reggae concert and the rough night that followed. On to Bowie, and then DC-meeting one of JC's oldest friends, seeing his childhood home, hearing the background I'd never heard before, about his past. I alluded to a breakthrough for him but left out a lot of detail, sure that JC wouldn't want anyone but me knowing that. It could get around, and there was a PC, publicly released story out there for a purpose. I didn't want to be the core reason that secrets about JC were spilled.

We talked about New York, the sights and the restaurants and the Broadway show. "I'm so fucking jealous that you saw Wicked. I just finished the book. I thought we could go, together. I could spit nails, right now."

"I know, I know. I can't believe it, myself.  It was so nice of him."

"Are you two getting along? Does he hate you, yet?"

I laughed, wincing a little at my memories of the last few days. "Uh... he probably wants to kick me out of the car and dump me along the side of the road, like every day. I'm kind of a brat. Who knew?"

"Uh huh...see? I told you. Road trips and you do not mix."

"We're having a great time. I apparently like fighting. He likes making up. We're a match made in heaven."

"You look like one. People are sending me pictures of you two out in Brooklyn the other night, kissin' on each other..."

"What? Pictures? Send me one! How do we look?"

"You look happy. And in love. You new love, people. I'm jealous."

"Don't be. I mean..." I sighed, picking at the blanket covering me.  "This is hard work, you know? I mean on him. He's working really hard and I feel like I keep fucking it up."

"So, he must not be around, right now? Or is he in the corner listening to you, grinning to himself about what an awesome boyfriend he is?"

"Ha!" I laughed, thinking Melissa knew him pretty well, except he wouldn't grin outwardly. He'd pretend he didn't hear me, but bring it up much later and be very proud of himself. "He's gone. He got a chance to work so he's out. I'm going to tackle New York by myself, today."

Speaking of, I thought to myself, I better get up and get moving.  I groaned as I rolled out of the bed, listening to Melissa's update about the last few weeks. Work was busy for both her and Annette, so she was letting it occupy her time, time we would normally spend together, if I was there. I was getting nervous about how I would do the same, once I hit LA. I was just so used to spending time with her.

"And Jen is about to pop. You should see her, her belly is so big. They're having a girl-I don't know if you wanted to know, but I just told you, so whatever. Brian is so proud, and you should see the house. I'll have her send you pictures of the nursery..." She paused, knowing I never missed an opportunity to talk about the new baby. I couldn't wait to see her. "Are you listening to me? You there?"

"Uhm... yeah."  I was more distracted by the envelope on the side table, propped up against the lamp. The hotel logo was stamped in the corner and in blue ink and JC's scrawl, my name was written across the front. "One second, he left me a note."

I cradled the phone between my ear and shoulder, sat on the side of the bed and flipped the envelope over, untucking the flap and pulling out a folded piece of hotel stationary. It was thick, and as I unfolded it, dollar bills fluttered out, onto the bed.

  Good morning (again),

So, last time we were here, we had a big fight about a stupid bag and we took it back. Did you think I forgot about that? I forget nothing.

Don't think of this as giving you money to go shopping, or any other weird argument you're coming up with in your head, right now. :)  See, I know you.

I snorted. "Shut up," I said aloud.

Just think of it as me giving this money back to you.  I want you to take it, spend it, and enjoy your day in the city. Call you later, and you better be having fun, missy.

Up and at ‘em, lazy!

Love you, miss you already,

C.

"Awwww," I swooned, gathering up the bills and tucking them back into the envelope. "Okay, if I ever call you and ask you to remind me that I love him, I want you to tell me that he is the sweetest, most wonderful man I have ever met. I love him so much."

"What'd he do, leave you money?" Melissa snickered like she already knew the answer.

I laughed, fingering the envelope, running my finger along my name across the front. "Sort of. Yeah. Remember the bag he bought me last time we were here? And I made him take it back?"

"Because you're weird? Yeah."

"Whatever. So I told him to save the money in case I needed it. I guess since I have a job now, I don't need it. He gave it back to me and told me to go have fun."

"Awww," she cooed. "He's so sweet. I know I say this all the time but if ya'll break up I will hunt you down and hurt you."

I laughed hysterically at her threat, but didn't doubt she'd follow through with it. "Me? What? Why would it be my fault?"

"Serena. Come on. You're completely stupid over him. It drives me crazy. He's way confident in your relationship. You're the one with issues. Don't argue with me, you know I'm right."

I rolled my eyes and laughed, albeit nervously. I couldn't argue if I wanted to because, of course, she was right. "Well, it looks like I have an appointment with the city of New York.  I better go. I promise I'll call again, soon. Love you, Mel."

"Love you too, sweetheart. Have fun. Go easy on him, okay? He's got it bad, for you."

That made me smile. A stupid, silly, wide as a mile grin. "Good. I have it bad for him. I promise to call in a couple days."

"Talk to you soon, sweetie."

The line went dead and I slid the phone onto the table, my eyes traveling to the note and the stack of bills nestled inside the envelope and the pillow I had been hugging and this room full of our stuff, remnants of the last week. I heaved a content sigh into the air, got up again and headed toward the shower, whistling Something Special. He sure was. I was finally, utterly, absolutely, so fucking happy.

Where are you?  

My phone buzzed with fury, the pointed text message nestled in my inbox among all my email and phone calls from the day. I'd caught up with pretty much everyone while I dressed and did my hair and caught a cab to Madison Avenue. I really just wanted to see it, to walk the street and look at the shops, all done up in their holiday finest. On the off chance I could actually buy something, that would be a bonus. Just as I was sliding the phone away, his message came through.

None of your business, I typed back, smirking. Aren't you supposed to be working?

I just knew a sarcastic text was coming back, but I was surprised at the response. Break time. Missing you.  

I smiled at the phone, again looking kind of stupid standing in the middle of Calvin Klein. I didn't care. He missed me!

Aw, miss you too, handsome :) Looking at shit I can't afford on Madison Ave. Found the envelope. Thank you. Love you, so much.

Of course you do. I gave you money.  

Smartass. I chuckled, typing back. You rock my world. Hard. I don't say it enough.  Having a good day?

Yeah. Coming together. Really glad I decided to work today. Gonna be worth it.

Good. Happy JC = happy me.

Thanks. I like to hear that. Back to work. Lunch break in a bit. I'll call you.

Okay. Have fun.

Love you. Buy something.

I laughed as I slid the phone away and turned my attention to racks and racks of clothing-- beautiful, and bright, colorful but expensive clothing. And shoes and hats and bags and gloves, oh my!  I wasn't sure what JC thought I could get with a few hundred dollars but I was going to try to stretch it. And have a ball doing it.

Hours later, laden with bags from some of my favorite stores, I dropped into a seat at a sushi place just off of Madison. The small red and white sign jutted out between two high end stores and just barely caught my eye. I hadn't had sushi since the last time I was in New York with JC. It sounded good, so I ducked in out of the cold and was immediately seated at a booth with a view of the street.

"Welcome to Sushi Twist." A young Asian woman, short and cute with a shock of grey through her dark brown hair, set a silver pot of hot tea and a teacup on the table in front of me. "You want chopsticks or fork?"

I smiled up into her friendly face. "I think I'll try chopsticks today." She pulled a wooden pair wrapped in a napkin, out of her apron pocket, and set it on the table, along with a menu.

"I come back in few minutes." Quietly, she rushed away, off to serve other tables. I browsed the menu, hungry but not feeling rushed. I could take as long as I wanted to order, as long as I wanted to eat, linger over hot tea as long as I wanted without feeling like I had to hurry and go. JC ate so fast that even a meal at a nice restaurant was fast food. I always felt like I was holding him up.

Speak of the devil, I thought, as the phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Hey, sexy."

"Heh..." He chuckled, low and deep. I always caught him, with that. He should have been used to that, by now. "Hey, yourself. Havin' lunch. What are you doing?"

"Same. Just sat down at this sushi place off of Madison."

"Man," he whined. "That sounds way better than ham and cheese."

"I'll enjoy some for you. Tell me about your day so far."

While JC talked, I ate soup and sushi and drank tea and had some sort of crunchy sweet dessert that the server just slid onto my table with a smile. I interrupted with a few pointed questions but for the most part, just let him ramble. He talked about the songs they were writing-one ballad and one that was almost the complete opposite, some angry rock anthem. And then getting into the studio and tapping out some sounds and how things seemed to be flowing so easily, despite there being a lot of work to do, yet.

"Sounds like you're having a good time. I love that happy tone to your voice."

"I don't have a happy tone."

"Yeah, you do. And I'm hearing it. You always talk faster when you're happy. You're just yapping away, a mile a minute over there."

"If you say so, I guess." He was laughing, the sound ringing out over noises in the background. "So uhm... we're getting going in here, again. I guess I should go."

Being on the phone with him reminded me of the past year, living on separate coasts. We'd talk through lunch and dinner, if he had the time. It helped us connect on a daily basis and stay close. Sometimes I missed our marathon conversations. Being with him every day was different... better, most days. But there were benefits to being away from him, too.

"I guess," I answered, pouting, "Call me later."

"Honey, we're supposed to be missing each other."

"I know. I'm missing you."

He laughed, the sounds behind him getting louder. "Hey, on the phone here," he called out behind him. "Geez. So. I really gotta go. Seriously."

"Well, hang up then."

"You hang up."

The little Asian lady laid the check on the table, face down, and began to clear away the remnants of  lunch. I giggled, digging into my purse for my wallet. "You called me. You hang up."

"I'm not playing this game. I don't have time."

"Then hang up." I slid a few bills and the check to the edge of the table and began gathering my bags, the phone tucked between my ear and shoulder.

"Fine. I'll hang up," he said. Then didn't. And then laughed. "I can't do it. Hang up, please."

I chuckled, making my way back through the restaurant and back onto the street. The air was cold but, the new knee length wool pea coat I purchased that morning kept me quite warm.

"Alright, you big wimp. I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"Love you, too. Have fun."

I said my goodbyes and hung up, smiling as I tucked the phone away and then lifting my eyes to the big city before me.  I was warm and fed and happy. I was ready to take it on.

 *

Hours later I was making my way back downtown to the hotel room. The sun was beginning its descent across the sky, so the air was getting colder. My fingers were cramped and aching from dragging bags up one side of Madison Avenue and down another. I managed to find a few things I liked and a few more things I knew JC would like. After an impromptu stop into a salon for some serious girl time, I was ready to get back to our warm, comfortable room and relax until it was time to change for dinner.

I didn't hear back from JC-but I didn't expect to. If he was trying to be done by eight, I didn't want to distract him. Timing was everything, and a break in his concentration was a waste of his time. Instead, I enjoyed having the room to myself. Watched a movie, read half a book, took a shower, refreshed my makeup, put on a clingy, sexy new dress I found and shoes to match, and ordered dinner for an eight thirty delivery.

By eight, I hoped he was trying to leave or was already out of the studio. I tried calling but all I got was ‘Hi, you've reached JC. Leave me one, I'll call you back'. Dinner was delivered and set up on the table between the couch and the TV-roasted chicken, vegetables, potatoes, a nice bottle of wine and mini cheesecakes for dessert. Everything was set and perfect. All that was missing was JC.

I tried calling again, no answer.  I settled in and poured myself a glass of wine and tried to watch a movie. All I was really watching was the clock.

It was after nine, and I was restless.  The food was cold, even under the domed plate covers the restaurant had left, to try and keep them warm.  I drank the glass of wine I had poured, and several others after that. I refused to pick up the phone one more time and try to call him. I thought back to that morning... he had said he'd try to be done by eight, right? So if he wasn't going to be done by eight, would have called, right? I shook my head, my mind a blur, my vision getting fuzzy around the edges, sinking into the couch.

At 9:53 the phone rang. I was slouched into the couch, staring at our ruined meal, my glass of wine balanced on my stomach. I glared at the slim device, emitting an annoying chime over and over. I sighed, picking it up before it could roll to voicemail.

"Where are you!?"

"Serena?" There was noise behind him. People having conversations. He was still at the studio! I wanted to scream! "What's wrong? What are you doing?"

"I asked you a question."

"I'm at the studio. Where do you think I am?"

"Where do I think you are?" I sat up, setting my wine glass on the table and pointing the remote at the TV to mute it. "Why aren't you here, so I don't have to play guessing games, JC?"

"Honey... Serena..." JC was speaking slowly and calmly. Diffusing. To me, it was patronizing. At least when I was halfway drunk, it was patronizing. "What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about?"

"Stop repeating everything I say, and tell me why you're mad."

Speechless and furious, I gave him what he asked for. "You said you would be done by eight. It's almost ten! It's almost ten, JC. I tried calling you. Your phone was off. You didn't call me, to tell me you weren't going to be done by eight. So I'm sitting here, after I've spent all day in the city, and I bought a new dress and new shoes and I got my hair done, and I got my makeup done, and I ordered dinner and some wine and dessert and had it all here sitting and waiting for you to get here and you're not here!"

I was panting by the time I finished my rant, totally out of breath. Irrational and I knew it but couldn't help it. And close to tears. JC said nothing, on the other end, which was even more infuriating.

"You know, JC, I just... I was expecting to see you at a certain time. So I planned around that time. And now I'm just sitting here and realized that you said you would try to be done by eight, which I realize now wasn't a promise but in my mind, eight was the time that my day alone would be over. Eight was the time I would see you again." A tear welled up in one eye and then the other and heat crossed my face and my nose started to swell. He wasn't there to see it, so I didn't really care.

"I'm sorry, honey. I don't know what else to say. I did say I'd try for eight but in my mind that wasn't a promise, just a goal. I didn't think you'd take it that seriously. I didn't know you had all that planned."

I sniffled and swiped at a hot tear rolling down my cheek. "I tried calling to tell you but your phone was off."

"My phone is always off when I'm in here. You know that. Did you leave me a message? I check my messages."

Fuck. "No," I answered, sheepish.

"Okay, so how was I supposed to know? I'm a mind reader?"

"No. Just... when... are you finished, now?"

"No. Not quite. Almost, though. I only have one day, with this guy, and-"

"You said that. I'm just trying to figure out when that one day is over and I can have you back. This vacation is supposed to be about us." I reached for my wine glass again and drained it. I was already drunk-there was no harm in two more swallows.

"Serena... If I remember right, this was your idea. Taking a day off, from each other. Right?"

"Right. But-"

"And I asked you, over and over if you were sure, and if this was okay, and you said yes. Right?"

"Oh my God, JC! I'm not mad that you're working! I'm mad that you're still working! Past when you said you'd be done working!"

"Okay. Well. Yeah, I'm still working. I'm sorry I didn't call; I didn't think I would have to. I was just calling to see what you were doing. Apparently you're drinking."

"So?"

"So... I guess I upset you."

"You guess?" Silence. Maybe he was contemplating that whole ‘shove me out of a moving car' thing. "Alright. Okay. I'm sorry. I'll calm down."

"Thank you."

"I just... we did this so we would miss each other and it worked. I miss you. Really badly. And I'm sitting here alone and yes, I'm drinking and I feel stupid for assuming you would be here for dinner." I fingered the stem of the glass, watching the light bounce off of the chiseled edges and bounce along the walls.  "I feel kind of rejected."

"Awww..." His words sounded soothing but I could hear the laughter in his voice. "I didn't reject you, sweet girl. I'm just working. Listen..." His next words were muffled, like he had his finger over the microphone, and then he was back. "Sorry. They can't seem to understand that I'm on the phone over here. Anyway. I'm gonna finish up here-we've got a couple of hours. But do me a favor?"

" ‘kay. What?"

"Stop drinking. I'm not saying that to be mean. Just stop. And, I mean... throw things, scream, go work out, whatever you have to do but please don't still be mad when I come back, okay? It's our last night in New York and I want us to enjoy it."

I really wanted to give him a flippant, smart ass comment but practically bit a hole in my tongue holding it back. "Fine," I answered instead. "How much time do I have, to sober up?"

"Couple hours. I'll try to be there by midnight. No promises. Drink some water or some coffee, or something."

"Alright. I'll try. See you in a few hours then."

"Serena?"

I sighed. Tired, all of a sudden. "Yeah."

"I miss you, too. Love you. Can't wait to see you."

"Fucker. Melting my heart, and shit." JC laughed and laughed at that. I didn't really think it was all that funny, but his laughter made me smile. "Get off my phone, get busy. You have to finish so you can get here and enjoy our last night in New York."

"Yes ma'am," he answered. "Going now."

The room was quiet, with the TV muted. We were on a high floor in the hotel, so street sounds would be nonexistent unless I opened a window. All around me, there was nothing but quiet, not even the ticking of a clock to keep me company.

Following directions, I slid my empty wine glass across the table and went to the mini-bar to retrieve the first of several water bottles I would empty before moving to sit and then lay on the bed. Before I realized I was even sleepy, my eyes were trying to force themselves open and there was noise at the door. A rustling and then a beep and then the knob turned and the door was opening.

I had turned the lights down and the heat off, so the room was dark and cool. His shadow crept through the room and around to my side of the bed. I felt his weight on the mattress and then the room was lit up again, a soft light bathing the both of us.

"You're awake," he whispered, bending to kiss me. His lips were cold. But soft. "You still mad at me?"

"Ha," I said, landing a playful slap on his arm. "Three hours ago I tried to throw your dinner out the window. They don't open. Now? I'm just tired. And happy to see you."

"I'm happy to see you, too. I missed you today."

"Mission accomplished. I missed you, too."

"Turns out that I even miss you acting like a crazy nut job brat of a girl."

"Shut up. I was mad."

"And drunk. How is that? We over that, yet?"

I glared, knowing he was kidding, but smarting anyway. "You asked me to not still be mad at you, and I'm not. But it's building back up again."

"Alright, alright. Sorry." I watched him, watching me, and then watching his eyes travel down my body, taking notice of my dress, red and sparkly, with a plunging neckline and the best cleavage I'd ever had. And my hair, shiny, silky, bouncy waves. And then looking over his shoulder at my feet and the sexy peep-toe pumps that matched the shade of the dress perfectly. I had crawled up onto the bed, shoes and all, and fell asleep. Not on purpose, but it made for nice presentation.

"You look nice," he said, his eyes making it back to my face.

"Thanks. I looked better...what time is it?"

He bent to check the clock next to the bed. "It's a little after one am."

I grimaced. "I looked better hours ago."

"Then you must have been looking pretty hot. C'mon." He sat up, pulling me by my hands so I was sitting up too. "Get up. Brush your teeth, comb your hair. Show off your new coat. Wanna show you something."

Grumbling, I sat up and then got up out of the bed and stumbled toward the bathroom. A hint of a headache was nagging at me, but I was trying to ignore it. My honey was home. I was excited to see him.

"Where are we going?" JC held my coat open as I slid one arm and then the other into the sleeve holes.

"Not far," he answered, kind of smug and smiling. "Got your room key?"

I made sure I had mine, tucking it into my pocket, and followed him out of the door and to the elevator. To my surprise, he punched the ‘up' button instead of down. "Where are we going?"

"You'll find out. Impatient."

Melodious sounds announced the arrival of the elevator. We waited for the doors to glide open and stepped inside. JC pressed the ‘R' button and stood back. A few seconds later, the elevator stopped and the doors opened again. JC pointed, signaling me to get out. I stepped out into a hallway, in front of heavy steel door. JC opened that door, the bitter cold air smacking me in the face.

"We won't stay out here long. I just wanted to bring you up here, cause it's cool."

We stepped out of that cold hallway onto the roof of the building. It was paved, with a dozen or so umbrellas on aluminum poles scattered about the area, lowered and tied together. In a corner of the roof, tables were stacked and covered in tarp. Also covered was what seemed to be a bar or serving area. In warm weather, the space must serve as a rooftop café.

JC led me toward the edge of the rooftop-I dragged my feet behind him, not wanting to get too close. "The wall is up high. You can't fall over, or anything. I gotcha." He pulled, holding my hand tightly. I stepped behind him and walked in his footsteps toward the edge. I wasn't afraid of falling over, just of being at that height to begin with.

"You're fine," he said. "Come here." He pulled me around from behind him, put me in front of him and wrapped his arms around me. "Feel good? Feel safe? You okay?"

I nodded, breathing deeply, and then taking in the view. From right to left, even at one am, the city was all lights. Flashing blinking, sweeping, swaying. Some meekly announcing a play or a show, some bragging and boasting sales and events. Further out in the distance, I saw the twinkling lights of homes and streetlights and office buildings. It was all one fantastic show.

"It's cool up here. This is a great view."

"Mmmhmm... all the way from that end..." He pointed in one direction, and then swept his arm across to the other. "To that one. Really amazing. I love it up here."

We enjoyed the silence, sort of. The sights and sounds of voices and cars honking and lights buzzing around us sort of blended together and canceled each other out.

I tipped my head back so it rested on his shoulder. "Well, so... there was a reason I was all anxious about you coming back for dinner."

I felt him laugh, the sound booming through his chest at my back. "Are we back there, again?"

"Not really. I was just thinking..." I turned a little, so I could see his face. "I was thinking about our conversation the other night? About this tour you're trying to put yourself on."

"Yeah."

"Well. You mentioned to me that you were considering asking me to come out with you, to kick it off. And I was thinking... if you want me to, I can maybe delay my start date at Taylor..."

"I don't want to talk about that, either." He tried to pull away and brush me off. I stopped him with a hand to his cheek. Nestled in my palm, his face softened, eyes open wide.

"Just... just listen to me. Honey, I wish you would have said something to me, about that. About wanting me to go with you. Then I could have told them when I was on the phone with them, when they were offering me the job."

His head hung, and he kicked at the pavement, the toe of his shoe sending pebbles of gravel up against the wall. "I know. I just... I thought of it, then I thought it'd be stupid, and you wouldn't want to go, so...."

I sighed loudly, feigning frustration and shook my head. "You know what, JC? I think a lot about this past year, or so. And how much you've been there for me, and how if the slightest thing goes wrong, you're right on the phone, or your right there with me, or you come and see me. You're there, for me. You don't give yourself the option not to be. But when it comes to you, it's like... you're so damned determined to be your own personal superhero that you don't even give me the option to do the same for you. I know you try, and you're much better than before but you're still so closed off. It's like an event if you invite me in."

JC seemed nervous, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.  I wasn't the only one with faults, it seemed. It was often hard for me to hear about all the things I did wrong. It had to be doubly hard for him, especially in an industry where people were natural suck-ups and didn't often say no.

"I guess I can be that way, sometimes. I don't try to be that way..."

"Sweetie, I'm just saying... I haven't signed my offer letter yet. I could totally negotiate to start later. They're already letting me wait until January. What's another few weeks? I could go with you, like you want. Kick off the tour with someone there that cares about you. I could do that for you. If you want me to. If you let me."

The wheels were turning, inside that raven haired head of his. He was thinking of excuses, I was sure of it. No matter, I had formulated an answer to each and every one.

"I don't even have anything put together, yet. I can't ask you to wait indefinitely. Or take time off after you start a new job. But I do appreciate that you want to. Thanks." He dropped a kiss on my lips with an air of finality.

"We are not done talking, Mister."

"Oh?" His eyebrows shot up, amusement painting his face. "We're not?"

"No," I said, laughing. "We're not. Just because you say no doesn't mean the conversation is over. Mkay?" I stepped back, leaning against the waist high wall around the perimeter of the rooftop. Just don't look down. "So, how long would it take you to put something together? You seem to think it won't take much."

"Uhm...." He pondered and blinked and finally shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know. Depends on how things come together with my contacts. I hadn't done much work on it yet. I don't know. But, Serena-"

"Okay...what if I help? What if you take some time over the next couple of days to get the ball rolling?"

"I... could... maybe move some things along, but honey..."

"What? You want to do this, right? What are you waiting for?"

He chuckled, kicking more pebbles, his hands deep in his pockets. "We're on vacation, for one. And I promised I would keep work at a minimum."

I laughed, my arms open wide. "Okay, let's think about that. Think about today. You worked today. All day. And loved it. So we've already done away with that, now haven't we?"

"Just for today, but-"

"Okay, so tomorrow it'll be no problem. I will drive to where the hell we're going and you can get on the phone. Right?"

He paused, laughing. And then the smile went away and his eyes dropped to the ground.  "You're pushing this pretty hard. Why?"

"Because you want it. And when you want something, I want something. And when I want something, you push me to go for it. And you tell me all the good things that will happen as a result. And you remind me of the good outcome that's bound to happen. And you're positive and reinforcing and supportive. I'm returning the favor. I want to be there for you. I want to be the person being positive and holding someone up, for a change. I want to help. Please let me."

"Even if it means giving up part of our vacation."

"Look around, JC. We're together. We're not in LA and we're not in Atlanta. We are in New York, one of the greatest cities in the country. And we're going someplace awesome tomorrow, just the two of us. And we're gonna check into a great hotel and do something fun that is local, and we'll eat and drink and talk and laugh and have some great sex."

He laughed at that. I did, too. I stepped closer, the lapel of his jacket in my hands. "And in between all of that, you're gonna make your dream happen. That feels like vacation, to me."

I couldn't tell if the answer was yes or no, by the look in his eye. The stone cold stare, the set jaw, the vein in the side of his head that throbbed. "Serena, you...."

I blinked, waiting. "Yes?"

A smile crept from one end of his mouth to another, stretching his lips across his teeth until he was shy about how wide it was. "You amaze me. You just really amaze me, sometimes."

"I know. So? What do you say?"

He heaved a sigh and stared off into the lights down the way, the flashes reflecting in his eyes. "So... you really want to get on a bus with me and travel to some really not very fancy places and listen to me sing, night after night, the same songs, over and over, and tell me how good I am? With the same enthusiasm, every single night?"

"I think it goes without saying that this fan," I pointed at myself, "would die for the opportunity. I think, the question might be if you really want me to go with you?" I winced, squinting at him through one eye. "Because I think you've wanted to kill me every single day of this road trip."

Rich, hearty laughter filled the air. JC laughed and laughed, almost uncontrollably, pulling me back close to him, his chin tucked between my neck and shoulder. "Not every single day," he said finally. "Just a few, here and there." He kissed my neck, sucking a little, drawing a squeal out of me before he stopped and sighed, his chin balanced on my shoulder. "Uhm... about the tour. I thought a lot about what you said, at the sandwich shop. And I know it won't be easy. But it won't be worth it, if I don't want to be there. So, we'll see what I can set up in the next few days and talk about it again. Okay? That meet with your approval?"

I smiled, relishing the feeling of his breath on my neck. Feeling embarrassed about my temper tantrum earlier-it wasn't as if he was never coming back. "It is sufficient. For now. But don't slack off, lazy."

His arms tightened around me and he stepped closer, right up against me. "I love you," I heard. Felt, actually.

"Love you, too."

"I mean that, Serena. I mean...I'm really happy, right now. I think a lot about meeting you, and how you came into my life at just the right time. And how so many things should have kept us apart and didn't. I guess I mean I'm glad we didn't let them keep us apart. And now we're on this trip, and spending so much time together. Really good, quality time. And honey, I know we fight... like everyday... but I'm loving it. I love knowing that you're here with me, to fight with me every day. You know?"

I nodded, knowing. "Yeah."

I closed my eyes, and felt him breathing, and heard the sounds of the city around us. I was memorizing the moment, tucking it away in my little box of memories that I kept in the back of my mind.  

"This should be our place," I blurted, when my eyes opened, again.

He chuckled into my neck. "We have about ten different places, sweet girl."

"No we don't. This place is special. I like it. It's nice but not too nice. Close to everywhere we've wanted to go. And you have me out here on a rooftop, God knows how many feet up in the air. That's definitely a special place. We should always come back here."

"What you want, I want. You want it, you got it. So, we had a fight today. Sort of."

I rolled my eyes and started to smile. I knew exactly where this was going. "We're past it now, though."

"Yeah but... we still have to make up. Can't break the cycle."

"I knew that was coming."

"And yet you walked into it. It's cold out here, you have to be freezing in those shoes, sexy as they are. You ready to go in?"

"Not just yet," I said, my eyes sweeping over the landscape again. "Let's just... let's wait a couple of minutes. Okay? It's our last night. I want to savor every second."

"You got it, sweet girl."

A few minutes later, we were back in the elevator and headed to our room again, not a word spoken between us as we shuffled hand in hand down the carpeted hallway, but none really needed. I unlocked the door and let us inside, the room still cool and dark, and peeled off my coat.

"I can finally take this damn dress off," I grumbled, reaching for the zipper.

"Hang on a minute.  Don't take it off, yet."

JC made his way around the bed to the clock radio on the side table and turned it on. After tuning past a few snowy stations, he finally found a clear channel, playing some late 90's easy listening ballad. "Perfect," he said, extending a hand to me, leading me to the center of the room, between the bed and the couch. His arms closed around my waist, my arms rested on his shoulders, his lips settled on my forehead and we danced, in the middle of the room, slowly swaying to beat.

"Have I ever mentioned that I love dancing with you?"

"Hmmm," he hummed against me. "I don't think so, honestly."

"Well, I do. I love dancing with you."

I felt him smile, and saw his laugh in his throat. "I love dancing with you, too."

The first song ended and another began, Careless Whisper. JC hummed lightly, then sang along a little, pulling me closer so he could sing in my ear. He hardly ever sang for me, to me. The feeling of his breath on my skin and his voice in my ear was enough to send a shiver down my spine.

"So, I'm sorry I missed dinner," he said, finally pulling back and tipping his head toward the cold, dried up food on the table. "It looks like it was supposed to be really good."

"It was," I said, with a nod toward the table. "But it's okay. I learned a lesson, today."

"Really. And what is this lesson?"

"Uhm..." I laughed, tilting my head back a little. "Always let you know when I'm planning something, so you can plan, too. And... eight o'clock never means eight o' clock. It's a shame I am learning this lesson so late in the game."

"Unless I promised eight o' clock. Which I didn't."

"No, you didn't. I realize this. Now. Hours past eight o'clock." I wiggled my brows at him. "So, I'm appreciating the romance of this moment but I really want to take off these shoes and this dress and get into bed with you so you can make it up to me for not being here for dinner. Are you down with that?"

His eyes lit up like Christmas. "Yes ma'am. I am definitely down with that."

We left the radio on, for ambiance and mood. It was a good station, the selection a great mix of romantic songs from decades past. Every once in awhile, as we undressed and caught up with each other, JC would bust out into a chorus or a few lines of a verse and I would listen and smile, sometimes offering a smattering of sarcastic applause.

We had undressed and washed our faces and brushed our teeth, then folded back the thick comforter and slid between the crisp, cool sheets, snuggled up against one another, the light of a single lamp illuminating the room. And then laid there, staring at one another, like we'd run out of words. There was nothing in the air but the sounds of the radio and the silence of the room around us. It seemed to suit the mood just fine.

JC looked tired. So tired, staring down at me, laying on his side, one leg tossed over mine, an arm across my waist. I reached up, grabbed a tuft of hair and let my fingers drag through, my nails lightly scraping along his scalp, then down the back of his neck, across his shoulders and back. His eyes closed and he shuddered, his head dropping forward.

I pulled him closer, coaxing his body over, and then sighing as I felt his weight sink onto mine. His head laid on my chest, the tips of his hair tickling my chin and long, slow breaths in and out creating waves of goose bumps along my skin. My legs curled themselves around his, and after I reached under the lampshade and snapped off the light, my arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Tired," he whispered, rolling his head to kiss the swell of a breast and laying back down again. "Sorry."

"It's okay," I said, tightening my limbs around him, giving him a pat on the back. "Sleep. It's been a long day. And we always have the morning."

"I knew you'd say that," was the muffled response, before his breathing slowed even more, and deepened into a light snore and eyelids stopped twitching and he was asleep.

#

"We get everything?"

JC tossed an annoyed glare at me as he slid into the passenger seat, pulling at his seatbelt. "Who's we? Someone laid in bed while I packed up the car."

I grinned a cheeky grin and adjusted the rearview mirror, slipped on my shades and pulled away from the curb. "Your fault. I was all worn out."

JC's grin matched mine as he reached for the sun visor where his own shades were clipped underneath. Slipping them on, his head bobbing to the beat of light sounds from the radio, he offered a cocky, "Yeah. I still got that."

 I snorted. "Modest, too. So, when can I know where I'm going?"

"When we're close. We've got one stop tonight, in a little town I think you'll enjoy. It's simple, like you like it. Then back on the road tomorrow."

"And where are we going tomorrow?"

He started to shake his head but I swung an arm and landed a smack in the center of his chest. "You will tell me. Now. Where?"

"Ow," he whined, clutching his chest. "You're lucky I'm still riding a high form this morning." He scowled through the windshield for a few moments and then blurted out, "New Orleans. Nosy."

"Really??!" My heart skipped a beat. A few beats, actually, and I couldn't hold back an excited yelp. I hadn't been to New Orleans since Melissa and I had gone together. It had been our last road trip together... even with our little arguments, this one was going immensely better.

"Once we get down there, we can look at a couple of places I'm thinking I want to play. I'll talk to some people and see what we can set up."

I smiled, mostly to myself, even though he could see it. He spoke with purpose and confidence. It was going to happen. He was doing it. I was going to be a part of it. Selfishly, I loved that part. This could very well be the biggest moment of his life, or at least the last few years of his life. It meant a lot to me to be a part of that.

The GPS called out the directions that JC had programmed into it and I followed, navigating us through the city and then to the Pennsylvania border. JC was quiet, watching traffic, visor low against the winter sunlight beaming through the windshield.

"Hey." I pointed at the phone cradled in his palm and the notebook in the slot between the seats. "Get to work. Get on the phone. Don't mind me. Just driving."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him watching me, that stone cold stare boring into the side of my face. And then a small smile. And then a shake of his head and an audible sigh. And then the notebook was open and the pen was flowing across the page and the phone was on, his thumb scrolling his contact list. 

"Bossy," he said.

I laughed, concentrating on the simple enjoyment of the sight and the sounds of the open road. In the rear view mirror, New York seemed to be retreating. Leaving it behind was bittersweet. We'd had a lot of fun, and New York had been good for us, good to us, but it was time to move on, to maybe not bigger, but definitely better things.  I had high hopes that the rest of our trip would be just as enjoyable and life changing and relationship strengthening.

 "Learning it from you, honey," I shot over to my passenger, a man who had changed my life a hundred times since I'd met him. I loved every minute of it. "Learning it from you."