Chapter 18: Hate is a Strong Word but I Really Really Really Don’t Like You

“So, um, I was wondering if you’d do me a favor, Miss Lynn,” Trace said as he watched her move around the kitchen, preparing dinner for everyone. It was a family dinner/farewell dinner thing. The Chasezs, the Kirkpatricks, and the Timberlakes were going to go back to Maryland, Pensylvania and Memphis, respectively, the next day and Lynn was making a huge dinner for everyone. She had been working in the kitchen all day, refusing help whenever Karen or Heather offered, saying that she would rather do it herself.

“What is it, honey?” She asked, wiping her hands off on a dish towel as she looked around the kitchen as if searching for something else to prepare.

“Well, um, Mack and I are going to hang out tonight,” Trace started, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. “And, um, it’s kind of a big deal since I haven’t been able to hang out with her in a while.” He paused to clear his throat and Lynn looked at him with raised eyebrows. “J doesn’t know that we’re hanging out and, um, I was wondering if you could keep it that way.” Trace cleared his throat again and a slow smile formed on Lynn’s face. “J’s really paranoid and he wouldn’t understand why I wanted to hang out with her by myself so…I was hoping you’d tell him I was out getting groceries or something.”

The smile never left Lynn’s face; it only got wider as Trace continued talking, well, more like stammering. Once Trace finally stopped talking he noticed the smile on Lynn’s face and blushed as he shifted under her gaze. “Ok,” Lynn replied, nodding, turning her attention back to the pot that was on top of the stove. “Just get back by eleven. Even though you’re not my son I can still ground you/”

“Thank you so much, Miss Lynn. I’ll be back before eleven, I promise,” Trace said as he started to leave the kitchen.

“Trace?”

He stopped at the door and turned around. “Yes?” He asked.

Lynn turned from the stove top. “She likes white roses.”

Trace smiled. “I know, Miss Lynn. And thanks.”

Lynn chuckled as she checked on the food once more. She always thought that Justin and Mack would end up together but she had a feeling that Trace had liked her all along and he practically confirmed it for her. She had her suspicions ever since their fishing trip of ’90 when Trace had carried her all the way back to the campsite after she had hurt her ankle. Since then they’ve been protective of her; Justin was protective in a more hands-on way whereas Trace was protective in a subtle way, but he had a different motivation than Justin did.

“Hey Momma, is it dinnertime yet?” Justin asked walking into the kitchen. He paused, sniffed the air, and smiled. “Smells really good. Do you need some help setting the table or anything?”

Lynn put down the dishtowel that was in her hand and placed her hand on his forehead. “You don’t have a fever. Are you sure you’re my son?” She joked.

Justin grinned and moved away so her hand fell to her side. “It’s still me, Momma. I just got tired of beating everyone at video games and they wouldn’t play basketball with me. I even asked Mack if she would but she said she was busy, which was weird because she usually comes and plays with me anyway.”

Lynn sighed. “Justin, you know she can’t always go running at your beck-and-call.”

Justin paused as he set a plate down on the table. He sighed himself; shaking his head he continued setting the large table. “You know, I’m getting tired of you guys telling me that. I mean, it’s not just you. It’s JC and the other guys too. It’s not my fault she likes spending time with me and helping me out when I ask for the help.”

“Yeah, but sweetie, you have a tendency to whine and plead until you get your way,” Lynn added. “I’m not saying this to hurt you or anything, you know that sweetie. It’s just something you need to know.”

“Yeah yeah,” Justin mumbled in a dismissive tone as he finished setting the table. He looked up and saw Jonathan wandering through the doorway, looking around. “Hey buddy.” Justin picked up Jonathan and held him against his side. “Do you want to help me set the table?”

“Yeah!” Jonathan replied, nodding his head.

“Ok, you can help me put out the napkins.”

Lynn watched with a smile as Justin showed Jonathan how to fold the napkin and then let Jonathan put the napkin down next to each plate. Lynn was worried that the two wouldn’t get along at first because Justin was a little bitter about the fact that his father was having another child with a different woman. After Justin held Jonathan for the first time Lynn’s fears went away, especially when Justin showed eagerness in helping out as Jonathan grew up.

“Is everything ok, Lynn?” Paul asked his wife, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Lynn nodded and dabbed at her eyes. “I just never noticed how much Justin has grown up, that’s all,” she replied. “To me he’s still my little boy.”

Paul pulled her into a hug and kissed her temple. “He’s going to have to grow up sooner or later.”

“I know. I just wish it weren’t this soon. I won’t be able to protect him for long and, to be honest, it really scares me.” Paul kissed the side of her head before calling everyone for dinner. Justin helped Jonathan into his seat before sitting down himself. He stared longingly at the food that was being put on the table that he could hardly contain himself. He slowly reached out a finger to take a little scoop of mashed potatoes but a hand slapped the back of his. “Be patient,” Lynn scolded as Justin waved his hand.

JC chuckled as he sat down in between his brother and sister, across from Justin. Justin waited until Lynn wasn’t looking and flipped him off. Justin sighed heavily as everyone made their way into the room. They were taking too long. “Momma, where’s Trace again?” Justin called. “Can we start without him?”

“We don’t have to wait,” Lynn replied, sitting down herself. “He called and said the line at the store was long so he won’t be home for a bit.”

Justin was about to nod when something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned his head slightly to look out the window and counted the cars in the driveway. They were all there. Justin’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion. Wouldn’t someone take a care to get to the store? Especially in Orlando, he knew Trace wouldn’t walk there.

Justin tapped his chin, ignoring the curious look that JC was shooting him. Trace wouldn’t randomly go to the store. At night even. Not even if Lynn asked him, Trace hated going to the store. So why was Lynn acting funny? Come to think of it, Mack had been acting funny as well. Justin immediately picked up on the distracted tone in her voice, as if she had her mind on something else or she was going to go somewhere. So, both Trace and Mack weren’t at home…

Justin’s mouth slowly fell open as it dawned on him. How could he be so stupid? All of the questions Trace had asked, him being so “helpful” lately? How could he not see it? Trace was crushing on their best friend. Justin’s lower lip twitched slightly.

“Jace, I need to talk to you,” Justin said as he jumped up.

“Can it wait?”

“No!”

Justin jumped up, rushed around the table, and grabbed JC’s arm, easily pulling him out of the chair and into the hallway. “What’s up?” JC asked, rubbing his arm.

“My two so-called best friends are what’s up,” Justin replied, crossing his arms over his chest and rapidly tapped his fingers against his arms, looking like an angered parent.

“What’d they do?”

“They sneaking around behind my back, that’s what!” Justin hissed, throwing his arms into the air. “Momma said that Trace went out for groceries. Come on! At night? Trace hates shopping; I don’t see why he would go, even if my mom asked him to.”

“People do go shopping at night,” JC pointed out.

“Ok, then what about Mack? She wouldn’t tell me what she was doing later tonight, why she couldn’t play some basketball with me. She tells me everything.”

JC studied his face. “Are you sure she tells you everything?” He questioned. Justin nodded rapidly. “Are you sure? ‘Cause it really wouldn’t surprise me if Heather knows more things about her than you do, heck, it wouldn’t surprise me if Britney and Christina know more about her than you.”

“That’s impossible,” Justin denied automatically. “Here’s the thing, when you go shopping for groceries you usually take a car, right?” He didn’t wait for JC to answer. “Trace didn’t take a care. And it’s too far of a walk between here and the city to carry groceries. No, they’re doing something behind my back and you want to know what I think?”

“You’re not going to let me eat otherwise so let’s hear it,” JC responded.

“I think they’re out on a date,” Justin replied. JC lifted an eyebrow as Justin continued to rant. “It would explain why Trace has been acting so funny lately. I mean, he’s been so…protective of her.”

“You do the same thing,” JC pointed out.

“That’s beside the point,” Justin said with a wave of his hand. JC made a scoffing sound but Justin ignored him. “Do you know what this means? What happens if they do get together? Then they’ll be spending more time with each other than she will with me. And what if they break up? Then their friendship will be ruined and I’ll be stuck in the middle of their fighting.”

“Ok, for one thing, you’re going crazy over nothing,” JC finally spoke up. “2) She doesn’t have to report to you whenever she does something or goes out with someone. 3) So what if they start dating? You should be happy for them. And that doesn’t mean that she’ll spend more time with him. I mean, you’re her best friend and she finds time to spend with each of us separately.”

“Mhm,” Justin said in a distracted tone as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. JC muttered something that sounded like ‘you’re going to regret this’ but Justin ignored it. “Hey Joey? What are you doing right now? I need you to meet me by the Hard Rock Café. Oh, and wear dark clothes and bring comfortable shoes. Call Lance to pass on the message.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

‘Calm down Trace. There’s nothing different about this. You’re just hanging out and having dinner like usual. She’s still your best friend…you’re very cute best friend, but your best friend nonetheless. There’s nothing different about it.’ Trace groaned and grabbed his head as he continued pacing on the front porch. ‘Who’re you kidding? You’re about to have a heart attack just thinking about it. Just knock on the damn door all ready and stop pacing like a moron!’

Trace dropped his hands from his head and let out a breath. He looked at the white rose that was in his hands and lightly ran a finger across the petals. He still couldn’t believe that he had asked her out. He still couldn’t believe she had said yes, even though there was a good chance she didn’t realize he was asking her out. But it didn’t matter to him. She said yes and that was good enough for him.

He’s been dreaming of that moment for years, well, since he first visited her after she and Justin moved to Orlando. She was a cute twelve-year-old, her eyes were still the same bright blue, but something about her was different. Something that Trace couldn’t put his finger on but he was dying to find out what it was. But he liked the mystery.

“If you keep pacing you’re going to wear a hole in my porch,” Philippe commented so suddenly it caused Trace to let out a little shriek and jump. “A little nervous, eh?”

“Uh, well, no,” Trace stammered. “I just…”

Philippe held up his hand and stopped him from speaking. “I trust you since I’ve seen you grow up, but that won’t excuse the fact that if I find out that you’ve hurt my daughter–”

“Mr. D, I assure you that is the last thing I would ever do is hurt your daughter,” Trace replied. “She’s my friend; I wouldn’t want to risk our friendship like that.”

“Don’t you think you’re doing that by asking her out?”

Trace’s mouth fell open but nothing came out. He had to admit that Philippe had a point, but it was a risk that Trace was willing to take. He could see himself being happy with her, they all ready knew each other and they could trust each other. And all great couples started out as friends first, right?

“Papa, ne fais pas peur emmené,” Mack commented, appearing at the door, grinning up at her father. “Ce n'est que trace, il ne serait pas mal à une mouche.”

“Je voulais juste vous assurer que vous ne serait pas se blesser, ma petite fleur,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. She chuckled and ushered him back inside the house.

“Um, what was that about?” Trace asked.

“Dad just being the worry-wart that he is,” she replied with a little shrug.

“Ah.” Trace nodded and suddenly remembered what was in his hands. “Oh, here.” He held out the flower.

“Thanks. Oh, and it’s my favorite kind too.” She beamed and Trace was instantly calmed. “I’ll go put this in water and then I’ll be right out.”

“Take your time.”

Mack went back into the kitchen, found a vase in the pantry, and filled it with water, all the while her father was watching her. “What is it, Dad?” She asked without looking around.

“Just noticing how grown up you are, that’s all,” he replied, coming behind her and kissing the top of her head.

“I was forced to, remember?” She asked, turning around and locking eyes with him.

“Yeah, I remember,” he replied. “Don’t keep your friend waiting,” he said after a couple of seconds of silence.

“Curfew?” She asked.

“11.”

“Ok, bye Dad. Tell me if Momma calls.”

“I will, have fun.”

Mack finally stepped out on the porch and closed the door behind her. She checked her pocket for keys before smiling at Trace. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Trace nodded and they started their walk into the city. “I was thinking we could just go to a diner or something and talk. I’m really not in the mood to go to a movie or anything.”

“I know a good ice cream place that serves frozen yogurt and snow cones,” Mack offered.

“Ok.” Trace nodded again. “So how was Germany and Sweden?”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“Why are we doing this?” Lance asked, crouching down behind some bushes.

“Because Justin is a paranoid freak,” JC replied, shifting a bit and moving the rock that was under his stomach.

“Which part of a messed up friendship do you not understand?” Justin hissed.

“What part of you should be happy for them do you not understand?” JC shot back. He let out an annoyed breath. “I hate to say it J, but you’re being selfish.”

“C has a point,” Joey agreed. “You’re setting a double standard.”

Justin lowered the binoculars that were in his head and looked around at all of his friends as if they were crazy. How could they not understand that his friendship was on the line? He was happy that they were getting along really well (maybe a little too well for his liking) but he was only doing this because he didn’t want their strong friendship to break.

That’s what he feared the most. For their friendships to just dissolve into nothing and they stop talking to each other. It would be like if ‘N Sync suddenly broke up and they all stopped talking to each other, he wouldn’t be able to deal with the hostility, the glares, the silence. If he was going crazy, then he didn’t want to be sane. He felt that what he was doing was right and if that meant making his friends miserable to keep them as friends than he’d do anything that acme to his much, such as spying on their date, or whatever it was they were doing.

“Guys, you just…you just don’t get it,” he muttered shaking his head. “I’m not crazy, I’m not setting a double standard, and I’m not doing anything but being a good friend.”

“Explain how you trying to sabotage a date is you being a good friend,” Lance spoke up.

“Because Trace and I are the only friends she has!” Justin blurted out. “Back home, everyone hated her. The girls hated her because she was ‘different’ than them, she wasn’t made in the same mold so to speak. The guys hated her because she was better at sports than they were. That’s why she hung out with Trace and I only. Then when she came here and started school, sure she was friends with Heather, but everyone hated her here because she knew me, she knew JC, and because they thought she thought that she was better than them because she was going to Europe to choreograph stuff for us. They bullied her all of the time, no matter where she goes she gets bullied. Trace and I…we protected her from that. We’re, like, the only ones she feels comfortable around aside from you guys. If those two get together and for some reason they break up, that’s it. Their friendship is ruined, my friendship with them is ruined, everything I’ve worked hard to build between us is ruined and I don’t want that.”

“So why don’t you just talk to them?” JC asked.

“Because they’re both hard headed, I figured you would’ve figured that one out by now,” Justin explained. “I know I sound crazy, but I have to do this. I know that she’s going to be mad at me for a bit, but I’m trying to get them to see what this could possibly do.”

“Whatever, J,” Joey said, shaking his head. “But if we get caught–”

“When we get caught–” Lance interrupted him.

“Right, when we get caught, you’re going through this alone because this was your stupid idea.”

“You’re not even going to stick by me?”

“Not when you’re doing something so stupid,” JC replied. “But we don’t expect you to understand, you’re only fifteen after all.”

“Almost sixteen!” Justin added.

“Whatever.”

Justin lifted his binoculars to his face again and searched the crowded area before spotting his best friends sitting at a table. He couldn’t hear what they were saying over the other conversations that were around him but it was obvious by Mack’s laughter that Trace had said something funny to her. He smiled, a proud smile, as if he were glad that he was able to make his friend laugh. Justin itched to use the water balloons that he had brought but something stopped him. He didn’t know what but the force was strong. He couldn’t bring himself to order the guys to launch the balloons.

Maybe the guys were right…

Justin sighed and dropped his binoculars. “Guys…let’s go home,” he mumbled.

“What?” They cried out in unison.

“You’re telling me that you made me miss dinner and dress in black, fill up balloons with water, and come out here just for you to say we should go back?” Chris demanded. Justin nodded. “Screw that, I’m using at least one of these balloons.” He reached into the bag they brought and pulled out a large water balloon. He squeezed it a bit in his hands, grinned, and got up on his knees, getting ready to throw it.

“Chris, no!” Justin cried, grabbed his wrist with his hands to try and get Chris to let go.

“Lay off, Kiddo! I have to throw one of these!” Chris said as he tried to pry Justin off of his arm.

“Don’t! Just leave them alone!”

“Chris can’t ever resist the temptation,” JC pointed out, his voice laced with worry as he, too, got to his knees. “Chris, drop it!”

“Oh come on guys! I can’t pass up this opportunity!” Chris grunted, trying to pry the curly-haired squirt off of him (squirt in a younger sense, of course ‘cause Justin’s towered over Chris since he hit his growth spurt).

JC, Justin, and Chris all struggled to get control of the water balloon as Joey and Lance tried to shush them so they wouldn’t attract attention, but they were doing a bad job. A guy at the counter had spotted them and was making their way over to them. As soon as the guy reached them and opened his mouth to tell them off Chris had pried his hand away from JC and Justin, but the force of it made him accidentally swing his hand forward and hit the guy with the water balloon. The guy stumbled backwards, crashing into a couple who were happily sipping their milkshakes. ‘N Sync watched in horror as the milkshakes went flying and landed on the ground. That, in turn, caused a different customer to slip in it, hitting the back of Trace’s chair. The force of the hit caused him to knock his own milkshake onto Mack’s lap. She backed up her chair to go to the bathroom but that, in turn, hit a girl who was passing by and she dropped her sundae bowl all over Mack’s head.

“Oh no,” Justin whispered, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Justin, look what you did,” Chris muttered.

“Me? I’m not the one who threw the fucking thing!”

“If you didn’t try and stop me then this wouldn’t be a problem!”

“What…the hell…are you guys…doing here?” The guys froze before slowly lifting their heads and locking eyes with Mack’s piercing glare. She broke it for a split second to wipe the milkshake that was dripping down her nose. “The one time your lives you’re actually quiet,” she muttered sarcastically. “One of you better answer me before I kick your asses.”

“It was his idea!” Chris said as he shoved Justin a bit.

“Should’ve known, only you’d pull a jackass move like this,” she muttered, squeezing her hair.

“Now, wait a minute, let me explain–” Justin started.

“Explain what? Explain why you were following me? Explain why you feel the need to have to know where I am 24/7. Explain why you think I need to report to you?” If possible her glare hardened but her voice was shaking slightly as she took in a breath. “The only thing you need to explain to me is why the hell you’re being such a sucky friend.”

“Mack–”

She held up her hand and stopped him from speaking. “I knew you were protective of me, but this is ridiculous.”

“I’m sorry!” Justin blurted out. “I just…I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“No fuck,” she replied. “And you.” She glared at the others. “You went along with this stupid plan?”

“No!” Lance cried out. “We were trying to stop him, honest.”

“You know what…? Just…stay the fuck away from me. All of you.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Trace gently placed a hand on her shoulder and started to lead her away. He paused to look at Justin. Justin nodded, as if being able to read Trace’s mind, and Trace walked away with her.

Justin slumped back and held his head in his hands.

“Are you ok?” JC asked softly.

“No,” Justin mumbled. “Because I hurt my best friend and that was something I was trying to avoid. And you know what’s worse?” He didn’t wait for them to answer. “I made her cry.”