Chapter 19: I Know the Truth No Matter What You Say

Trace didn’t say a word the entire walk home. He didn’t say a word when Philippe gave him a questioning (or was it an intimidating) glance. He didn’t even say a word as soon as he got back to the Harless place and went straight to the room he was sharing with Justin. He could feel Justin’s eyes boring holes into the side of his head as he moved around getting himself comfortable. Well, as comfortable as he could be, trying to maneuver around the elephant in the room.

Justin had a million questions running though his head but he didn’t know how to ask them. Were they dating? Were they a couple? How come they didn’t tell him? When did it happen? Why? He didn’t know which one to ask first but something decided to tumble out of his mouth.

“Er…sorry.” It came out more as a question than an apology but at least he said something. Trace looked up from the book he was reading and locked eyes with Justin, not saying a word. “About overreacting I mean,” Justin continued. “It’s just…I can’t accept that Mack isn’t the same seven-year-old that would always come to me to kill a spider. I can’t accept that she doesn’t need my help with anything anymore.”

“That’s not true,” Trace finally spoke up. “She gets you to help her kill the spider, and when you can’t do I step up. It’s always been like that.” Justin cracked a smile as Trace put his book down on his lap. “Seriously though, water balloons? At your friends? Geeze, I’d hate to see what you would do if she actually dated someone.”

Justin’s ears perked up, much like a dog, which Trace obviously found funny because he started laughing a bit. “So…you two aren’t dating?”

“No.”

“You don’t like her? I mean, more than a friend.”

Trace sighed and leaned back, resting his arms behind his head. “That’s the thing…” he let out a breath and locked eyes with Justin. “I really like her, J, and I didn’t realize it until now. I mean, I really missed her while you guys were gone. Not that I didn’t miss you either, but I missed her in a different way, you know?” He rubbed his face.

“So…why don’t you tell her that?’ Justin asked, picking at a random thread on his bed spread.

“I tried, I just can’t.” Trace tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t want to freak her out or anything. I know she doesn’t feel the same way and…” he scrunched up his nose as he thought, “I love her, I’ll admit that, but I’m not in love with her.”

“I don’t get the difference,” Justin said.

Trace lowered his head and grinned. “You will when you’re older.”

Justin huffed as Trace grinned that superior grin. Trace may be a few months older than him, but he constantly treated Justin like he was years younger and it got under Justin’s skin. He knew that Trace did it to annoy Justin on purpose, but that didn’t mean that Justin couldn’t retaliate.

Justin looked around for a weapon he could use but the only thing he could use was his pillows. He grabbed one and threw it as hard as he could. Trace wasn’t prepared to be hit by a pillow and he fell off of his bed. Justin then pointed and started laughing as Trace rubbed his head.

There was a sharp knock on the door before Lynn opened it and stuck her head in. “Is everything ok in here?”

“Yeah, Mom. Trace just fell off of the bed. What a klutz,” Justin said with a smile still etched onto his face.

“I heard about what happened,” she continued.

The smile fell from Justin’s face immediately and he turned away from his mother. The last thing he wanted was for her to find out, but he should have known she would eventually. He knew Trace wouldn’t say anything so that left only Chris and JC and Chris didn’t care enough to tell so that meant JC had to have said something to her. Out of concern probably. She came into the room and sat down at the end of Justin’s bed, keeping her eyes on him. Trace got up off the floor and dashed out of the room. ‘Thanks for leaving me alone with her, traitor.’ “Don’t, Momma.”

“Why’d you do it?” Lynn asked, reaching out and lightly running her fingers through his hair. Justin closed his eyes at her touch. He let out a breath but didn’t say anything. “Justin, you’re going about this the wrong way.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “If there’s something on your mind the best way to deal with it is to talk to her, to them. You’ve followed that idea before, why’d you change it now?”

Justin’s mouth formed words but no sound came out. He finally closed his mouth let out another breath, and opened it. “I just…can’t deal with the fact that she’s not the same anymore,” he replied, pitifully. “It kills me to know this is making me sound like a bad friend but, I just can’t do it. I mean, she’s not the kid I’m friends with anymore. She doesn’t come to me for help, she doesn’t follow me around, and she…likes…boys. Well, a little bit, but I just…I just can’t do it, Momma.”

Lynn wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him to her, his head fitting under her chin perfectly. She gently rocked him and held him tight, like he was young again. “Justin, you’re growing up, that’s all there is to it. I know you don’t want it to happen, but it’s inevitable. You’re actually taking it better than most people. When I was growing up my brothers went off the wall, they did everything they could to make sure no guy came near me. It got annoying, really.”

“Really?” Justin asked, lifting his head. “What did you do?”

“I talked to them about it. I told them that it was good that they were looking out for me but they need to release their hold a little and let me make my own mistakes. And you know what?” She lightly tapped Justin’s nose with her finger. “You need to do the same.”

“I know, Momma, I know.” Justin glanced at the clock. “Momma, do you think I could–?”

“Come back as soon as you’ve made up,” she said in a stern tone. “I’m not kidding, Justin. It’s past your curfew.”

“I know. I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Dad, why won’t Mom come home?” Mack asked taking a bite out of the Oreo cookie that was in her hand. Little J and Oreo were sitting in her lap, their heads on the table, sniffing the cookies every now and then.

Philippe sighed and put down the cookie he was about to put in his mouth. “I all ready told you. There are some things she needs to take care of.”

“And she couldn’t put it down to see her own daughter come back?”

“You know your mother. As soon as her mind is on one thing she doesn’t change it until she’s finished with whatever it was that occupied her in the first place.” He reached across the table and ruffled her hair. “That’s where you got your stubborn streak from.”

“So she’s being stubborn and she won’t come home?” Mack demanded, squinting. “What happened while I was gone?”

“Nothing!” Philippe sighed. “Maybe you should go to your room. I know you’re just being angry with me because of what Justin did.”

Mack grabbed a few more Oreos and glared at him. “Don’t say the ‘J’ word about me,” she snarled before leaving the kitchen.

Philippe couldn’t help but chuckle. She wasn’t fooling anyone with her anger, he could see right through her as if she were a window. She wasn’t mad at what he did, she was more mad at the fact that her mother seemed to not want to have anything to do with her and she was taking her anger out on him.

He leaned back in his chair when he heard a sharp knock on the kitchen door. He locked eyes with Justin who waved frantically, motioning for him to open the door. Smiling to himself, Philippe got out of his chair and opened the door. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to get here, Mr. Timberlake,” he commented, moving out of the way so he could come into the house.

“Thanks Mr. D,” Justin muttered. “Is Mack around? I made a really big mistake tonight and I really want to talk to her about it, if it’s ok with you I mean, I don’t want to intrude,” he said all in one breath.

“She’s in her room,” Philippe replied, closing the door. “Go through this door, out the den’s door, down the hall, up the stairs, and it’s the third door on your right.”

“Thank you sir.” Justin bolted out of the kitchen and followed his instructions. Loud music was pouring out of her room. She was probably glaring at the ceiling cursing him at the very moment. He took a breath, grew some balls, and knocked on the door. “Mack?” He shouted. He didn’t get a response so he knocked again. “Mack, c’mon, open up! It’s J! I want to talk to you!”

Justin pressed his ear against the door. It sounded like her music had been turned down a bit but it was still pretty loud. He pounded his fist on the door again, yelling her name, his voice getting more and more desperate with each pound on the door.

After banging on the door for five minutes straight his voice was slightly hoarse, he had a dull headache, and his red fist was throbbing. He lifted his hand to knock again but stopped himself. He let out a shaky breath and swallowed the lump in his throat. Was she really going to throw away their friendship that easily? What she really going to throw away years of their unbreakable friendship over a small mistake that he’s made? He’s made plenty of mistakes in the past, of course none on this level, but they always found a way to make up in the end. He couldn’t, no, wouldn’t accept the end of their friendship like that.

He sat down and rested his back against her door. He looked at his watch and pulled out his cell phone. “Hey Momma, I’m going to be home a little bit longer than I expected. Yes, I’ll get Mr. D to drive me back. Momma, I’m prepared to sleep in front of her door until she talks to me. Ok, I’ll talk to you later…I love you too. Bye.” He hung up his phone and let out an impatient breath. “Mackie, come on! Talk to me.”

“Go the hell away, Timberjerk!” her muffled voice finally came through the other side of the door.

Justin shrugged. ‘She could’ve called me something worse and she spoke so now we’re getting somewhere.’ “C’mon! Please?”

“I don’t want to talk to you!”

“Then listen. Please!” Justin waited, holding his breath. Everything turned silent when the music suddenly shut off and Justin let out a sigh of relief. “I get it, ok? I’m a horrible friend. I keep setting double-standards for you and it’s not fair. I just…I can’t hate knowing that you’ve grown up, ok? I still see you as the seven-year-old that followed Trace and I around all the time. The one that always set out to prove that she could do better than us. The one who…who came to us whenever she needed us to beat up the boys who got her on the brink of tears.” He sighed and ran a hand through his short curls. “I know you’re not the same little kid, but to me you always will be because that’s when life was easier. I…I don’t want you throwing away our friendship like this. I won’t let you. I’m…I’m prepared to sleep here in front of your door and stay here until you forgive me.”

“You have a rehearsal for your new single tomorrow.”

“I’m willing to follow you around until you forgive me,” Justin quickly corrected himself. “I messed up, I admit that. I just…” he let out a breath. “I just want my friend back.” He sniffed and brought his hand up to brush his nose and was a bit shocked to feel that his cheeks were damp. He let out a little cry of surprise as he fell backwards. The next thing he knew he was staring up at the ceiling.

“You’re being overdramatic you know that,” Mack commented, looking down at him.

“I needed to get you to listen to me somehow,” Justin replied, getting onto his knees and shuffling forward so he could hug her around the knees. He looked up at her with big, wet eyes. “I’m so so sorry. If you want to date Trace you can, I won’t stop you. I just want you guys to be happy.”

Mack rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. “I don’t want to date Trace.”

“Ok, if not Trace then some guy off of the street. I don’t care.”

“Yeah you do.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “And I appreciate that you care, just…give me some space, ok?”

“Ok.” He then spread out his arms and grinned his irresistible grin. “Um, this is the part where you’re supposed to hug me and we make up and forget that this ever happened and be friends again.”

“No, this is the part where you promise me you won’t be stupid and let me deal with my own problems,” Mack replied, crossing her arms over her chest. “Unless I ask for help.”

“Ok, I promise,” he said quickly. “Now can I have my hug?” he wiggled his fingers. “C’mon, my arms are getting tired.” Mack let a smile show on her face and allowed him to pull her into a hug. “I really am sorry,” he said once he let her go.

“I should apologize,” she replied, turning to sit on her bed and pulled Little J and Oreo onto her lap. “I’ve been stressed out lately. What with trying to come up with a routine for Tearin’ Up My Heart and watching these two and–”

“Your mom not talking to you?” Justin guessed. She lifted her head. “Your dad was saying that you were probably taking your anger out on me from what she was doing, or not doing in this case.” Mack opened her mouth but he held up his hand to stop her. “Don’t apologize, I get it. I was horrible when my parents split and I was only four, I didn’t understand it then. You’re just worried about her, don’t sweat it. Just tell me about it next time, ok? You can always come and talk to me. And if you can’t do that you can talk to Momma, she’s a good listener y’know.”

“I know.” Mack glanced at her clock. “You should get going before Momma Lynn starts freaking out.”

“Ok.” He hesitated. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing!” Mack threw a pillow at him and he caught it easily. “Tell the others I expect you all at the warehouse by 10.”

“10?” He repeated. “Not 6?”

“Nah, I’m letting you all sleep in. You can’t say I haven’t done anything nice for you.”

He chuckled, threw the pillow back, and moved towards the door. He paused, turned, and merely pointed at her, smiling. She returned the gesture, chuckling. He closed the door behind himself and she scooped Little J and Oreo into her arms, kissing the tops of their heads. “Well, if she won’t call me I’ll call her,” she decided out loud. “Is that a good idea?” Oreo let out a little yip, his tail wagging in approval. “I’m glad I have your approval,” she laughed, scratching their heads. “Now, off my bed. Go to yours.” She waved her hands and leaned over to grab the phone and brought it up to her ear.

“When are you coming back?” Philippe’s voice poured over the line. Mack was about to hang up but the cold voice on the other end stopped her.

“I all ready told you I’m going to be out here for a while.”

‘Mom?’ Mack kept the phone by her ear and tried not to breathe loudly so she wouldn’t be caught.

“You said you would be here for when Mackenzie got home,” Philippe continued. “Then you said you’d be here a couple of days ago. She keeps asking about you. Why the hell won’t you even answer the damn phone whenever she calls?”

“Because–“

“Because you’re afraid that she’ll find out you’re a lying, cheating, bitch?”

Mack swiftly brought her hand up to her mouth to snuff the gasp that was trying to come out of her mouth. Had her father really called her mother such a name as that? What happened to the high-school sweethearts that they used to be? What had happened while she was in Europe? She knew she should put the phone down there but a twisting feeling in her stomach told her to keep listening.

“Don’t ever call me that again!” Charlotte hissed.

“Why? Because you know it’s true?” Philippe demanded. “What do you want me to tell her? I can’t keep lying to her.”

“I don’t know. But there was something invented called the truth.”

“I’m surprised you know the definition of the word seeing as you can’t tell it. ‘Sides, I can’t just say right over breakfast ‘oh, by the way, your mother moved out and is now living in Memphis with Paul, her business partner. Oh, and we’re getting a divorce too’.”

“Sounds perfect to me.”

“Do you even care about what this could do to her? What happened to you? You two used to be so close.”

“Yeah, well, I hated living a lie.”

‘Was she talking about their marriage or me?’

“You’re being really immature about this,” Philippe pointed out.

“Whatever. And this is coming from the guy who won’t even admit that this relationship isn’t going anywhere. Trust me; I’m doing you a favor.”

The dial tone reached Mack’s ear signaling that Charlotte had hung up. She waited to hear her father hang up before she put her phone down. She was stunned. Too stunned to make any noise. Too stunned to cry. Too stunned to even comprehend what had just happened. She let out a shaky breath. Little J lifted his head and looked at her. He jumped out of his bed, jumped onto hers, and curled up in her lap, licking her cheeks.

“What’s going on, Little J?” She asked, scratching his head.