“Do you really think they want to be involved in this after they see me?”

Justin paused in the threshold of the hallway and living room, his eyes studying the back of his friend’s head as he, himself, paused before moving forward to get the door.  “Why would you think they wouldn’t?”

“Look at me, Justin,” he whispered harshly, “I’m whiter than a ghost and in case you haven’t noticed, this hat isn’t giving me hat hair.”  He tugged at the black ball cap that Justin remembered from so long ago, the cap that he had claimed to be his favorite, his lucky charm. 

Inwardly, Justin kind of hoped that the hat was being worn because JC had an ounce of hope and a glimmer of belief that it would help him; even if medically, a hat wasn’t really purposeful. 

Well, maybe to keep the heat from escaping from the top of the head and keeping someone healthy.

Healthier than JC was at the moment.

He masked a cough, ducking his head and leaning his forehead against the frame of the threshold.  “Maybe you should answer the door.  I might scare them away.”

“Bull,” Justin murmured, “they remember waking you up on the road; I don’t think anything can be as scary as that.”

“You know, you’re really funny, Timberlake.”

“Just get the damn door, Chasez.”

JC sighed deeply, pushing himself away from the frame and coughing once more before putting his hand on the doorknob.  “Justin –“

“C, I know you’re skinny ass is within inches of me and if there wasn’t a few inches of door inbetween us, I’d tackle you for making me wait so long!”

It may have been faint, but Justin saw the hint of the smirk that JC wore often when targeted by Chris’ snide remarks.  “This is a plus,” he said to himself softly, watching as JC slowly opened the door, letting the chain latch remain fastened as he slowly grinned at the older man on the opposite side looking in. 

“I’m sorry, I am not interested in girl scout cookies.”

Justin snickered.  The three men that were arriving (within hours of each other) still had no idea what exactly brought them there, but with JC’s physical deterioration and the lack of hair hidden beneath the cap, it wouldn’t be too long before they all pieced it together themselves and together. 

It had been about two weeks since Karen and Roy had arrived – both camping out in an available hotel room just down the street, promising to give some space but promising to also check in every day if JC did not call them himself – which, already, with JC’s forgetfulness, it had already happened more than the fingers on his hand. 

It was actually JC’s idea to bring the three men down at the time they were arriving.  He figured he’d break the news and then appear at the oncology unit in the hospital so they could prep him for the insertion of a port so that his chemotherapy insertion and blood tests on him and access for the medical staff would be easier and a lot less painful than normal.

His hair was also slowly diminishing with every day, which, though he never said anything, Justin could tell it bothered him more and more with every piece that fell to the floor and settled at the bottom of the tub near the drain.  Not even a few days ago, he had adopted the same hat that Justin thought had been lost circa – No Strings Attached.  Not only was it still around, but in amazing shape for a hat that had to be at least ten, fifteen years old.

“’Ey, yo, Timberlake, you gonna stand there like a little shy kid or are you gonna actually come over and acknowledge my existance?”

He shook from his thoughts, turning his attention to the still hyper, still very much sarcastic Chris Kirkpatrick, he giving him a big grin, though he could see the confusion and worry in his friend’s eyes.  “I actually wanna stay far, far away from you, Chris,” he grinned, stepping towards him as Chris hugged him. 

“I actually just talked to Lance,” Chris stated, his eyes traveling over to JC as he pulled out a dining chair and sat down slowly, he still tired from having just woken up moments before Chris arrived.  “He and Joey were both in Orlando so they should be coming in on the same flight – he said at,” he stopped, looking at his watch and shrugging, “well, actually right now they should be landing.”

Justin nodded as he stepped aside, letting Chris into the apartment.  “Well, go ahead and put your stuff in the guest room or in here … I figure someone can have the couch and whoever can have the futon and bed in the guest room.  Bed’s brand new, so it’s not all dingy or whatever like some of those hotel beds we used to have to sleep in way back when –“

“You know, speaking of, Jace, you were the only one who could sleep on them, nasty ass.”

“Hell, I wanted sleep; I wasn’t complaining if there was a bed beneath me.”

“Or a hot chick.”

JC scoffed, shaking his head, “that hasn’t happened in a while … probably won’t for a long time, too.”

“Oh, you know you were second favorite after pretty boy right here,” Chris grinned, it slowly fading as he watched JC’s expression remain the same as he looked down at his hands, flexing them and relaxing them, his mind in another world of his own.

“Justin, can you show me where the bathroom is?”

He nodded, tilting his head backward in a gesture for his friend to follow him.  Once they stopped in front of the door, Chris leaned up against the wall, Justin soon following in his friend’s actions, nearly mirroring him exactly.  “What do you want to know that I can actually tell you without JC being upset that he didn’t tell you?”

“Okay, for one, why is he here?  And two, what the hell is up with his face?  That is not JC.  Is he on drugs?  Is that why we’re here?  Is he going into rehab or something?  Has he gotten that bad with drugs?  When did he even start them?  Is that why he left ABDC?!”

“Firstly,” Justin said softly, somewhat angered that he had assumed it was drugs; Jc would readily admit he had used a bit of drugs in experimental phases, but he knew he had a reputation to uphold and a life that was pretty much perfect before the diagnosis to even think of dabbling into them to bring him into someone more addicting.  “He came here because that is where treatment is.  Secondly, it’s not drugs, it’s not alcohol; it’s not what you think, Chris.  He came here to disappear and he almost did if he had not called me in the middle of a breakdown to be here.  Thirdly, I am not going to tell you why you’re here until Lance and Joey get here; even then, it’s JC’s words that need to be heard, not mine.”

“… He’s sick, isn’t he?”

“Chris, I told you,” Justin said, inhaling shakily.  “Just let him talk, okay?  It’s been a crazy, crazy few weeks.”

Chris’ face paled slightly as he leaned his head back against the wall, Justin walking into the bathroom and flushing the toilet, making it seem as if he had actually gone in there.  “Jesus …”

“Yeah,” Justin said, noddingi n agreement.  “Yeah.”

“You know, you two could just talk about me in front of me,” JC called softly, “it’s not like I can’t hear you through these paper-thin walls, anyway …”

Justin sighed, clapping a hand on Chris’ back and leading him back into the living room.  “Who says we were talking about you?  Why’s the ego inflating all of a sudden?”

“Wasn’t the ego, was my ears,” he chuckled, sitting up on the couch and tossing Justin’s cell phone onto the table.  “Joey texted you; said he and Lance are about five minutes away.  Guess your timing was off, Kirkpatrick.”

“I never was good with time.”

“I think I was worse.”

“Man’s gonna be late for his own funeral – oh.”  Chris stopped, his face burning as the room fell silent, Justin standing next to him, biting the inside of his cheek while JC stared blankly at the table in front of him.  “Jace, I –“

“Nothing I don’t already know, right?”

He cleared his throat, nodding.  “Yeah.  Right.”

“Well!”  Justin startled the other two men, clapping his hands together and bringing their attention to him, “why don’t I order pizza?”  Before they could even respond, he was disappearing into the guest room where he had the phone book last, shaking his head in disbelief.  This was already getting off to a great start. 

Justin sat back down on the couch next to Chris, watching as Lance and Joey both lifted pieces of pizza onto their plates, balancing their drinks between their hands and chests.  “God, I forgot how much you eat, Joe,” Justin grinned, “I probably should have ordered another two pizzas.”

“Ha, ha, man; very funny.  I barely get this kind of shit at home with Briahna and Kloey.  Chasing after a child who thinks she is 25 and a baby aren’t exactly the best time makers.”

“How is the baby?” 

Joey looked up from taking a bite of his pizza, smiling.  “She’s doing great; Briahna loves being a big sister.”

“It’s about time you added another to your brood.”  Lance elbowed his friend as they all chuckled.  “Though, it’s just what the world needs: another Fatone.”

“Hey, we’re good people.”

“I know, but you are Joey.”

“Can’t argue that.”

“So where is C?”

“Bathroom,” Chris murmured, Justin noticing how shaken up he still seemed to be, even nearly twenty minutes after his little crack that he hadn’t meant to come out. 

“He not eating?”

“Nah,” Justin shook his head, glancing over as JC trudged back into the living room, plopping down next to Chris as the older man stiffened up, JC noticing and knocking him with his shoulder in a silent gesture.  Chris smirked, shoving JC gently as both men laughed. 

“God, you two act like women.”

“Fuck you,” Chris laughed.  “Eat your damn pizza, asshole.”

“So what exactly are we doing here, Jace?  Justin?”  Lance set his plate down, eyeing the two of them.  “I’m sorry I’m not beating around the bush, but it’s been how long since all five of us had been in a room, let alone a room this small together without singing something or pulling pranks.  Say hello to 2002, am I right?”

“Pretty much that long ago, yeah,” JC said, nodding.  “Maybe a little earlier.”

“I hate to sound so forward, but it is what it is.  I know we all keep in somewhat touch so it’s not like we’re all clueless as to what exactly is going on.  We all know you disappeared and didn’t let anyone know where you went and then when we were called, Justin said we couldn’t say where we were going or to make something up.  Did you kill someone?  Are you on drugs?  Is that why you look so terrible.”

JC swallowed, shaking his head as he looked back down at his hands.  “Thanks for the awesome compliment, by the way,” he joked, shaking his head.  “I left because, in my mind, I had to; this is something that I don’t want to deal with with everyone watching.  I had to do this without anyone’s help … but then I realized I kind of do need help and I do need people I care about around me.  That’s why I called Justin, who in turned called my parents and then called you guys.  It’s hard being sick and not having anyone there … I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t have my own family … you guys are my family and I –“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa …” Joey set down his plate, holding up his hands, “Sick?  What kind of sick?”

Justin’s eyes slowly dragged back to JC, who looked frail and small in the corner of the couch, his finally bringing his eyes up and meeting Justin’s before looking back over at Joey and Lance who were leaning in intently, waiting for an answer.  Chris was next to him, holding his breath.  In some way, Justin knew that Chris figured out at least for the most part what it was.  He had to of, Chris was pretty smart when he wanted to be.

Hell, he was really smart anyway.

“I uh … well, you guys ever see ‘Funny People’?”

“The one with Adam Sandler in it?”  Lance arched an eyebrow, Joey creasing his eyebrows in confusion.  “Where he has that dude following him around like an assistant or whatever?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Vaguely.”

JC sighed.  “Well, his character gets sick and in the movie, he has Leukemia.”

“And … you are studying to play a part as that, right?”  Joey frowned.  “Okay, so bad joke …”

“I have AML,” JC said softly, looking at the three men surrounding him, Justin unable to look at anyone as he picked his cuticles.

“Okay, so that is … something-something leukemia?”

“Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  And from what my doctor says, my body is responding well and I could be in remission quicker than they expected … but I’m still fighting and I’ve got a while to go …”

“What,” Lance swallowed, completely taken aback, “what are they doing for you?  To treat this?”

“Well, I get rounds of chemo every week.  I’m on week four?  Five, maybe.  Tomorrow I go in to have a port surgically implanted so the chemo is a lot easier to register and getting blood taken won’t make me want to pass out as much.  It’s also a lot easier for the medicine to get in the blood stream.  They’ll implant the port right about here.”  He pulled away at his t-shirt, showing them the ink marks that his doctor had used to demonstrate to JC himself where and how it would go.  “Then, we go from there.  Radiation is the next step.  I’m on about a billion different medications … some I believe are placebos, others are to keep my immune system up, others are for the leukemia itself.  If I go into remission, I’ll end up taking a minimal amount of medication for the rest of my life, compared to what I have now.”

“Then what?”

“Then … if I go into remission, doctor says they usually give it a seven-year window before they say I’m completely out of the woods.  It can come back, it may not; it just depends on how well my body fought and how strong my immune system continues to be.  I mean, I pray it beats this … I’m scared as hell I’m not …”

“We’re not going to let you give up,” Joey said, JC smiling gratefully at him, “we went through hell together, what’s another trip to it?  Another dip in the road, but that’s okay, ‘cause we all know that while I am not good at directions, Lance is … well, maybe it’s you we need to get the direction from, but again, it’s all good.”

“How did your parents take it?”

JC bit his lip, shrugging.  “Naturally, they’re worried.  Also a little pissed that I disappeared, but I think they’re pretty much getting over it now that they know I’m … well, alive.  They told my brother and sister, but neither of them can come down, which I don’t want anyway; Tyler is working on his masters and Heather is working full-time and going back to school herself.”

“This is serious, man.”  Chris looked over at him, sighing deeply.  “Just how far into this are you?”

He shrugged again, hand smoothing over the top of his hat before he slowly pulled it off, everyone but he and Justin inwardly gasping, seeing the patches that were slowly appearing where his hair once had been.  “After the port is implanted, I’ll have a nurse come in every other day to make sure things are still running smoothly and to keep me company so Justin here won’t go stir crazy and he can leave this place without feeling guilty –“

“I don’t feel guilty, I just worry –“

“Blah, blah,” he dismissed Justin’s remark, waving his hand, “it’ll be good for me, too; just in case she sees something that Justin and I don’t see.”

“Like what?”

JC shrugged, his attention back at Lance who all but looked ready to piss his pants.  “Signs of infection around the port, fluid in my lungs, my skin tinging another color, I don’t know … just, things that aren’t normal with this disease that Justin and I know nothing about.” 

“I knew we always had reasoning to worry about you more than anyone else,” Joey said, smiling weakly, “always the one to keep us on our toes.  You were just itching for a reunion, weren’t you?”

“Actually,” JC said, grinning, “that was Justin.”

“Mr. Solo?  He wants a reunion?!”

“Jesus, Joe!  Don’t look at me like I have eight heads or something.  Yes, it would be nice to sing with you guys again.”

“Good Lord, I never thought I’d see the day …”

“Lance, don’t start.”

“Oh, good ‘ole fro boy.  We missed you.”

“Christopher …”

“Yes, Randall?”

“Fuck you, man …”

“Guys,” JC laughed, shaking his head as he pulled himself up, “as much as I love listening to what seems to be a flashback to a while ago, I really need to go to sleep.  I have to be at the hospital at four am.”

“How can you be so calm about this?”

“I wasn’t always,” he said, looking at all four of his friends, “ask J; it wasn’t always this way and it really isn’t me being calm … it’s me accepting that this is what I have to do.  I’d rather face this with a level head than an irrational one.  I don’t want to be bitter if this doesn’t work –“

“It will.”

“If it doesn’t,” he pressed, “I don’t want to have to hate myself for not trying harder or something.  I’m giving my all into this and I don’t want to go down in flames if I can help it.”

“If you’re on fire, I’ll throw the extinguisher at you,” Chris grinned, JC giving him a look of disbelief.  “But seriously, we’ve got your back, C.  This isn’t gonna be the last hurrah.  Maybe we will get back into the studio after all –“

“God, I might need some restraints for you and Justin.”

“Oh, he has jokes!  Jokes for days!”

He smiled, nodding his head.  “Good night, guys.”

Within a few moments, the door clicked shut and the three men were look at Justin, he wide-eyed.  “What?”

“Why couldn’t you have called us earlier?”

“Why did he wait so long to tell us?”

“Do you expect us to want to go home after this?”

He laughed at the attack of questions on him, getting up and walking towards the kitchen.  “Guys, it was his choice, okay?  He wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with his diagnosis and then tell everyone … that’s not who he is and you know that.  He needs to settle one thing before he goes onto the next.  Second, if he felt he was strong enough, he’d still be here by himself and none of us would be here.  I only got a hold of him after he had a realized just how bad it was and was listening to his voicemail.  Hell, it could have been any of you that was here first.  And yes, you guys will go back home and live normal lives and if things change down here, then I will call you.  He wants it that way and that’s how you guys need to honor it.  He has a break after round six for a week and I’m taking him to Shelby Forest to stay at my Gram and Pap’s house.  His parents are coming and we’re just gonna get away from the whole … ‘sick’ thing.  Doctor okayed it as long as he continues with his meds and takes it easy …” he trailed off, seeing the looks on his former bandmates’ faces.  “Guys, he’s gonna get through this.”

“How can you be so sure?”

He looked over at Joey, slowly shrugging his shoulders.  “I’m not so sure about much anymore; I just know that I’m sure that I can’t lose one of my best friends.”