Amongst the starry Baltimore night sky, slight wind-chill and noisy surroundings, Justin sat alone in his backyard, in a grim lawn chair with his feet propped on a stack of useless cement blocks. In his hand was a can of his favorite drink, Yoo-hoo, which he sipped slowly, despite that it had long ago lost its icy appeal and was now flavorless and warm. Taking another tortuous sip, he mulled over his current situation.

Just last week he had been calling this house, his home. Yet, due to recent changes, he settled for calling it home from afar, well from the backyard as he stared up at its brick structure.

Almost every night, he would relax--if you call sitting in the backyard, in the cold, sipping warm cans of Yoo-hoo relaxing--and watch the back windows, where the faintest of light shone against the windowpane. Tonight, his chest tightened as he followed through his usual routine of window watching.

He was hoping someone would finally come to the window, notice him, and invite him in, preferably, the person who put him out. His wife.

His wife would blow a gasket if she knew he was still coming around, where he was so-called not welcome. His wife probably wouldn’t care if she knew he was still going to the kids school every day to see them, in spite of the separation. Yet, his wife would definitely kill him if she knew he was about to sneak into the house via the back window. He polished off the last drop of Yoo-hoo and stood. He stretched in preparation.

Groaning, Justin wondered just how he would get inside. He didn’t have the privilege of the safety ladder that he had brought for the kids in case of a fire. That was inside. There was a faithful ladder, a gift from his father-in-law, in the garage. It wasn’t very safe or sturdy, but it would do.

He gathered the ladder and lined it with the window above. He winced when it noisily clanked against the bricks. Nervously, he glanced around; hoping his wife would mistake the sound for neighborhood noise and remain asleep.

Determined to get back to where he belonged, he climbed the first few rungs, unsteadily of course. He gained confidence when he made it to the middle off the tall ladder without falling to his death.

Grasping the side rails tightly, he peered up at the cracked window. Someone had left it open. His eyes narrowed, worried, and before he realized it, he was at the top of the ladder gazing into his daughters’ bedroom. The oldest slept closest to the window. Even though it was a school night, he considered waking her up to let him in.

Deciding that she had gotten plenty of sleep, Justin started knocking on the window.

“Michal!” He whispered loudly. She turned over immediately as if she’d been awake all along. Tossing the covers back, she smiled at him, and then proceeded to wake her younger sister.

“No, leave her alone. Open the window.” Michal followed his orders and stepped aside as he crawled through. Relieved, he stretched out on the floor for a minute. He hadn’t realized how cold it was out there until the heat slowly warmed his frozen limbs.

Justin stood, smothering his daughter in a hug. “Oh thanks Mikey.”

“Mmm hmm.” She put a hand to her ten-year old hip before climbing back in bed. Her smirk of mockery faded as she tucked herself in. “Kori made me leave the window cracked because she said you was coming. I guess she was right.”

He watched her fluff her pillow. “Damn, I owe her five bucks now.”

“Michal.” Justin warned.

“Sorrryy.” She whined, staring down the length of the bed at him. She narrowed her gaze at his barely visible face beneath his black hoodie. “Mommy said it was okay for me to express myself, so I can deal with the divorce better.”

Justin choked. “She told you we were getting a divorce?” They hadn’t really discussed that. They had only been separated for a week, which during that time he’d been staying with his mother.

Michal shook her head. “But I heard her telling you to leave. And yesterday, I heard her tell Auntie Darrien that she put your pale ass out.” She said with an attitude identical to one his wife would express.

“Mik-”

Michal huffed. “I was just telling you what she said daddy.”

“I know swe-” He paused. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Is your mommy up?”

“No. Daddy where you gonna sleep tonight cause I heard mommy tell Auntie Darrien that she wasn’t letting you back in her bed even if you begged for it.”

“Michal.”

“Yes?”

“Stop eavesdropping.” She could only open her mouth to form a response before the bedroom door shot opened. Seeing her mother rushed in with a weapon in hand, Michal gasped as her eyes darted to her father’s who sat on the edge of the bed. With his back facing her mother, Justin had yet to comprehend the situation.

“If you don’t back away from my daughter’s bed, I’m gonna blow your fucking brains out.”

Justin froze; his petrified gaze mirrored Michal’s. “When did your mother get a gun?” He mouthed. Michal shrugged.

“Mikey, what are you doing? Don’t talk to him!” She screamed, frightening everyone even more and awaking Kori in the process. Kori rubbed her eyes, and then noticed Justin.

“Da-!”

“Michal, get your sister and come over here” She hesitated. “Mikey, c’mon. It’s okay. I’m watching him.” Michal didn’t move.

“Does your mother really have a gun pointed at me?” Justin asked and Michal nodded. Contemplating his next move, he took a moment to wave at Kori. She smiled shyly. He returned his attention to Michal. “Are you scared?” She nodded harder.

Justin sighed. It was time he took over the situation, starting with identifying himself.

“Freeze!” His wife shouted as he made a move to stand. “Put your hands up.”

“She watches too many episodes of Cops.” He told Michal.

“What? Are you begging for a death wish?” Justin heard her say.

He chuckled. “You wouldn’t shoot me.”

“I would.” The hammer of the gun snapped. Justin panicked. “Now back away slowly or I’m putting my nine to your head.” She was serious.

“Darnell! Wait, don’t shoot, it’s me!”

“What?”

“It’s me, your husband!” He was now trembling.

“Turn around. Slowly.” She said, unbelieving. When he was facing her, she pulled back his hood. Justin winced at the barrel of the gun staring him in the face. Gasping, the gun fell from her tight hold and landed loudly on the hardwood floor. They all jumped, expecting it to fire. “Shit Justin!” She was trembling now, “I could’ve killed you! What the hell were you thinking sneaking in here?” and crying too.

“I wanted to come home.”

Darnell sighed as Michal and Kori, finally sensing that it was safe, crawled towards Justin. “Whatever happened to knocking on the front door Justin?” The night of their last fight, she told him that he couldn’t come back.

“I don’t know.” Justin shrugged.

“So you risked getting killed?”

“Yes.”

“Justin sneaking in through bedroom windows wasn’t a good idea on my birthday and it’s not a good idea now.”

“Yeah but you didn’t pull a gun out on me that day.”

“Daddy didn’t give it to me until later.”

Justin rolled his eyes heavenward, and then hugged the children to his sides. “Y’all okay?” They nodded.

“Hi daddy.” Kori finally spoke.

“Hey Kor.” Justin ruffled the mop of curls atop her head. He then refocused on Darnell. Her hair was tied up in one of her many silk scarves and she was wearing one of his old t-shirts. Her arms were wrapped around her middle and she was gnawing on her bottom lip. He missed her.

“Hey Dee?”

“What?” Still shaken, she wiped at the tears settling in her eyes.

“When you had that gun in my face, I uh, I peed on myself.” They both cracked a smile.

“Eww Daddy!”