“Can you make sure that the caterers are available at around eleven o’clock on the video shoot? He doesn’t like it when food doesn’t come on time,” I explain into the phone. The representative of the Sony Soundstages confirms that the catering trucks are set for arrival at ten-thirty and it isn’t until the lady repeats the schedule that I finally allow her to go. Hanging up the phone I look over at Elliot who gives me a reproachful look.
“What?” I question.
“You’re doing it again,” he mutters as he turns the car onto the freeway. I sit back in my seat crossing my arms over my chest.
“What am I doing?” I retort. I don’t want to get into this conversation but I know for a fact that we’re heading down this road again. The thing that sucks is that not only am I going to get reprimanded by one of my closest friends, but my sort of adoptive brother is in the back seat listening to everything.
“You’re doing Maura’s job again. I don’t understand why you can’t just let it go,” he states casually. The skyline of downtown Los Angeles is off in the distance and I’m very reluctant to head into the bowels of the city.
“I have let it go. Last time I checked Elliot, I’m not working for him anymore.”
“Well you might as well just go back and do it. The way you keep sneaking around and doing her job warrants trouble down the road.” Since when did he start speaking like a fucking fortune cookie?
“I’m just helping her out before the tour starts. Believe me, she’ll be thanking me later. Not having me on tour to do the little things is going to add up and soon she’s going to be pulling out every single blonde hair off her pretty head.”
“Whatever you say, Lauren. I just worry that you’re stepping on her toes and she isn’t going to be appreciative of that.” I frown and turn away from him and gaze out the window. He couldn’t be more wrong if he tried.
It’s the day after Christmas and I’m spending it by showing Theodore the sights of Los Angeles and following him on his first excursion into South Central. I have to admit I’m a little wary of heading into what many consider to be one of the most dangerous places in the country but I’m with two men so I should be okay. I’m going to look past the fact that the first thing they discussed upon their meeting was how Star Wars is infinitely better than Star Trek. This conversation continued until I got the bright idea to call the secretary over at the soundstage where Justin is slated to film his new video to see how things were falling together.
Can I help it if some strings were left untied? I should be looked upon with respect since I decided to tie up the loose ends and spare people the Wrath of Justin. But apparently I’m not allowed to do that anymore.
“I’m not stepping on anybody’s toes,” I say indignantly.
“I just think you have a hard time letting go being his primary caretaker and all,” Elliot explains with a shrug before he states that Klingon is not as elaborate or elegant as Elvish. Theo agrees full heartedly and I wonder when we’re going to start role playing.
I get dibs on Liv Tyler’s character.
“I’m not having a hard time. I have let go completely. Do you think I want to go back working for him? He’s a dick to his PAs and I hated…”
“You loved every single minute of it,” Theodore pipes up from the backseat. “Your mom and dad kept going on and on about how you would call to voice your annoyances with Justin and yet you would never quit…”
“Newsflash,” I fire back, “I did quit.”
“Yet you crawled right back,” Elliot interjects. Being my right hand man has it’s benefits, he knows the whole sordid affair with Justin and its times like these when I regret letting all of that slip, “You kept going back and you’ll continue to do so until one of you does something you’ll really regret or one of you drops dead, heaven forbid.
“So not true,” I mumble more to my denial and myself than to the two super nerds I’m traveling with.
“Right,” Theo says slowly before he picks up his camera and snaps a picture of the skyscrapers. “What is Sir Justin up to today?”
I sigh heavily and relay his entire schedule to the two without even realizing that I’m throwing in the exact times and locations of where he’ll be. Their knowing grins and wagging eyebrows pisses me off to no end. I throw my empty Starbucks cup at Elliot who raises an arm to deflect it.
“I hate you guys.”
Okay I admit it, there are times when I miss doing things for Justin and when those things aren’t carried out to an exact T, I can’t help but interject. Maura must know I’m picking up some aspects of her job because Justin tells her to do one thing and she attempts to complete it only to find that it’s already done by yours truly. I swear I’m going to stop when his tour bus zooms off into the horizon, leaving me in the California dust.
I swear.
“Are we almost there?” Theodore questions from the backseat. This is his first expedition and I think the word excited is an understatement. The kid is practically up in the front seat, leaning over my seat and trying his best to see where we’re going. I have to admit I was a bit surprised to see that Justin offered up his privacy and home to a complete stranger for however long it takes. That is definitely something he wouldn’t have done in the past and I pride myself for being the one to spark that kind of positive change in him. Granted I’m sure he did it for the fantabulous sex we’ll probably have tonight, but I won’t hold that against him.
“Give me another twenty minutes. I swear the traffic is worse than that on Coruscant,” Elliot mutters and it gets a laugh from Theodore. What the hell is Coruscant? Is that a new type of croissant that somehow has traffic?
The nerd lingo is starting to give me a headache so I try my best to ignore them until we park at some random lot in the middle of broken down apartments. It almost reminds me of the place where Justin had to pull over the car while Trace and I proceeded to scream at each other the night of his Anaheim concert. That was the second time he kissed me…
“Are we ready to rock and roll?” Theo questions and before Elliot and I can respond, he’s out of the car and bounding around the parking lot, trying his best to stalk down prey to be photographed.
Elliot and I follow suit as my erratic supposed brother snaps a shot of two skinny ass dogs fighting over a rotting piece of chicken. It really isn’t that appealing and I wonder why I brought myself along for this. I could be with Justin right now or I could be getting paperwork done for the upcoming New Year’s Party I’m supposed to be planning for some random B-list celebrity. But if I’m anywhere in the Hollywood area I’ll more than likely stick my nose in Maura’s business and try to help her even though I know she’s more than capable.
A group of crack whores start to leer at us and I find myself moving closer to Elliot and Theodore for support. Why I think these two are going to protect me is beyond me since the most they’ll try to do is reason with whatever drug pusher or mugger who threatens our safety.
The better part of the morning sees us following a pack of mutts and I can’t help but feel like I’ve gone back to when I used to travel around with my parents and chill with wild animals. Granted I was always left behind on dangerous excursions and this one has definitely been one of the more thrilling excursions I’ve been on.
By lunchtime Theodore has filled two memory cards and the kid looks exhausted. The three of us head back towards the car but not before I hear a small yelp sounding from behind a garbage can.
“What the hell?” I head towards the can, totally oblivious to Theo’s cries of caution. I move aside a bag and find myself staring into big brown doggie eyes. My breath catches in my throat because it is seriously the cutest dog I have ever seen. Sure he seems a bit dirty and I’m sure he’s got fleas, but the poor thing looks lost and confused and not at all bad tempered.
“Lauren, be careful!” Elliot warns but I wave off his advice and offer the dog a hand to sniff. He leans forward and gives a huge sniff before he sneezes violently. I smile and he wags his tail.
“He’s so cute! I’m bringing him home!” I explain before the dog walks forward and starts to rub up against my legs like a damn cat. I’m not a cat fan, but dogs…dogs are the best creatures in the entire world.
“You don’t know what kind of diseases he could have or if he’s going to be mean towards Justin’s dogs,” Theo explains, “He might not do well with other dogs.”
“If he threatens anyone or anything at all, I’ll send him away. But you’re always going on about how we have to open our eyes to what’s going on down here. I’m doing my part by taking this little guy in.”
“Lauren, you do realize that’s a pit bull, right?” Elliot points out.
“Duh, and your point?”
“They aren’t exactly the friendliest dogs and they don’t have the best reputation.” I give him a dismissive look before I start to walk away from the animal. I grin when I realize he’s following me. I rush up to Elliot and cling onto his shirt.
“Please, Pa, can I keep him?”
“You know who is not going to like this,” he mutters under his breath as we continue on to the car.
“Well he’s taking Buckley and Brennan on tour with him and leaving me with an empty house…and Trace,” I add as an after thought, “The least I can do is have little Bruno here to help me out.”
“Christ you’ve named him,” Elliot, a devout Jew proclaims, “Great.”
The four of us load into the car and Elliot starts the long drive back to Justin’s. At least the trip to South Central wasn’t a complete bust.
*~*~*
Our little band of merry travelers returns to Justin’s house an hour later due to intense traffic on the 101. Bruno is in the back, his tail wagging furiously because he’s on a new adventure and I’m sure he has a feeling the fleas and possible ticks are going to be washed out of his fur. This guy is going to have a Cinderella makeover.
Elliot spent the entire trip home mumbling about how Justin would probably have a huge tantrum when a new mouth to feed appeared on his doorstep. The one thing my friend fails to realize is that if I work a little extra in the bedroom I can pretty much get whatever I want. It also helps that I don’t ask for much to begin with. I smile brightly when I see that Justin’s truck is parked in its normal spot. Trace is also apparently home not to mention what appears to be Maura’s car. A full house.
My phone starts to ring as soon as I walk through the garage and into the hallway that leads to the kitchen. Bruno is walking behind me, getting in as many sniffs as he can. Elliot and Theo are taking up the rear, both a little reluctant to enter the house where apparently World War III is about to begin. Justin might be mad at first, but once he sees how cute this little guy is, he won’t be able to resist. I look at the caller ID and notice that it’s Justin. Did he not hear me come up the drive?
“I’m home!” I call out to alert those already in the house of my arrival. I hear a joyful cry echo throughout the building as our party disperses into the kitchen. Elliot and Theodore immediately sit around the island and I go to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. I hear the unmistakable sound of footsteps enter the kitchen and then an ear splitting scream echoes right behind the open door of the refrigerator causing me to drop my bottle because quite frankly it scared the shit out of me.
“What the hell?” I yelp as I slam the door shut to see a completely petrified Maura Delaney trying her best to keep an overexcited Bruno away from her without touching the animal. I can see the tears beginning to form in the woman’s eyes and she’s trying her best not to break down into complete sobs.
“How did this dog get in here?” Justin bellows as he walks into the room behind his assistant. She practically leaps behind him, her hands clutching onto his shoulders tightly as she presses her face into his back. “Whose dog is this?”
“Mine,” I announce, “Do you mind telling me why Maura is stopping short of a Linda Blair impression?” I didn’t mean for it to come out that rude, but I mean it’s just a dog and a sweet one at that.
I watch as Trace rushes past his best friend and grabs Bruno by the scruff of the neck. The dog omits a yelp of excitement as he’s led away from the kitchen and out into the garage. I glance over at Elliot who has a huge ‘I told you so’ look on his face. I ignore him and turn to look at Justin.
My brow furrow when I see that he’s turned around and has his hands firmly placed on Maura’s shoulders, trying to get her to calm down with soothing tones. She’s nodding at his words and wiping away her tears. I clear my throat because I don’t want my question to go on ignored.
“She was attacked by a pit bull when she was younger. She doesn’t like dogs, especially those. Where the fuck did you get him?”
“South Central,” I state casually. I can almost see the steam coming out of Justin’s ears but he manages to control himself.
“Why did you bring him back here? I already have two dogs, I don’t need another one.”
“Oh, I’m, sorry,” I bite, “he was being chased by the Bloods and I figured I’d throw him a fucking bone and save his scrawny ass.”
“So you think giving my assistant an anxiety attack is funny to you?”
“You would have thought so before!” I fire back. I can’t believe I’m getting into an argument over this…and his stupid ass assistant is in the middle of it all. I notice that Elliot and Theodore have found somewhere else to be. Figures, no one ever tries to back me up when I get into arguments with Justin.
“Not when safety is compromised,” he retorts.
“And sending me into the projects of Boston to buy drugs wasn’t dangerous?” I know I’m pulling out old skeletons, but I don’t give a fuck. I refuse to let him win this argument.
“I didn’t know about that until you had already gone so don’t try to bring that up again,” he fumes. “How could you not know she was afraid of dogs?”
“Last time I checked I wasn’t the one spending every day with her. So please excuse me if I don’t know her social security number or the exact time of her birth like you apparently do!”
“And there you go, being overly dramatic about everything. And I can’t believe you could be so inconsiderate to bring some mongrel home without asking first!”
“Please forgive me! I figured since you’re leaving so soon it’d be nice to have someone or something around the house that would be able to greet me after working my ass off. You are pretty much picking up the whole house and taking it with you…” I state but Justin holds up a hand to silence me and I can tell he’s about to bring out the big guns. I can either resolve this right now or Elliot’s predictions of a third World War would be correct.
“Right, Lauren. You had and still do have the option of going with me. You don’t have to be left behind but apparently you have to prove that you can make it without me for a single day.”
I so do not want to get into this can of worms right now. I don’t want him to know that he’s probably right and I don’t want to alert him to the fact that he was the one who flew all the way to London to pretty much beg me back into his life.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I brought the dog into the house and I’m sorry I freaked the shit out of Maura…” I hear a sniffle and realize that Maura is still standing behind Justin’s stocky frame. I move past Justin and lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Maura. I didn’t mean to scare you like that and I promise he won’t be around here anymore.”
She nods silently before she excuses herself to go finish up some paperwork for what I can only assume is for the video shoot. “I hope that apology is enough for you,” I state sardonically before I turn around and notice that the puddle of water from my dropped bottle is still there. I move away from Justin as quickly as I can and when I’m done cleaning, I look up and see that he’s left the room.
Fuming, I throw the rag into the sink and grab my purse. “Elliot, Theo, let’s go!” I yell loudly as I jam my sunglasses on top of my head. I’m about ready to punch a wall. My two science nerds scamper into the room and follow me out into the garage. I see Trace sitting in the middle of an empty stall, chilling with a very mellow pit bull.
“This guy’s pretty cool,” Trace explains.
“Yeah, well he isn’t staying here,” I mutter as I whistle for the animal. He jumps up from his restful position and starts to follow me out into the driveway. I load him up into the back of Beverly Lexus and get into the driver’s seat. Elliot and Theodore file in as I speed out onto the street.
“Where is he going?” Elliot asks me carefully. He doesn’t want to set me off and he’s a smart kid because any wrong thing is about to set me off.
“Your place,” I state simply. I can hear the beginnings of a groan form in his throat but one glare from me sends him nodding in approval of this sudden situation. “God dammit,” I grumble to no one.
“What did I tell you?” Elliot asks ten minutes later. The three of us are stuck in traffic and Bruno the pit bull is chilling in the back seat with Theodore.
“Yeah I know,” I sigh heavily. “I just can’t believe…”
“He’d jump to her defense like that?” Elliot states pretty much taking the words right out of my mouth.
“Yeah, and how he acts with her. I don’t know…”
“I think it’s weird,” Theodore announces from the back. I stare in the rearview mirror and see Bruno lick his chops as if he agrees. “Like there isn’t something right with the way he is with her. As far as I know, he was never like that with you. Dean and Shelly would always talk about the latest bit of impossible he made you try to accomplish. It seems to me he isn’t being quite as insane to Maura as he did to you…if that makes sense,” Theodore adds sheepishly.
I can’t help but feel suspicious and the fact that both Elliot and Theodore have noticed something is kind of putting me at ill ease. Justin all but throwing his life on the line for Maura today almost solidified the thought that maybe her being with him all the time isn’t such a good idea.
“Elliot, do you mind taking care of the Lieberman party solo for the next couple of days?” I ask suddenly. He looks taken aback and nods slowly.
“Why?”
“I’m just going to make sure things aren’t the way they seem right now,” I explain. And if that means going to watch him shoot his new video and keeping Maura as far away from him as possible, then so be it.
“Just be careful, Lauren,” Elliot forewarns.
“I know. And besides, I know Justin isn’t going to be doing something insane. He knows that when I get super pissed I start to throw shit. And I trust him enough to know that he isn’t going to do or try anything stupid.”
At least if he knows what’s good for him.
