"Hit the green button...Okay now blue. TURN RIGHT TURN RIGHT! Jesus Em, you're going to fuck up my score."

"Shut up!"

"SHOOT EMILY!"

"If you don't shut up I'll shoot you! You know when I play video games I don't know what I'm doing and I just hit buttons. I don't care to know the right way to play..."

"I don't know why I agreed to let you do this to my score. I've worked damn hard to get to where I am and you're just fucking it up..."

"You know what," I yelled getting up off the couch and throwing the controller at him, "Next time don't fucking ask me what I want to do if you're just going to complain the whole time. Take your damn controller, and have fucking fun with it Trace."

"I should have known you'd get all drama queen on me," he replied shaking his head.

"You are so right. I'm such a drama queen. You of all people should understand," I sighed pointing at him before turning around and walking to the door of the basement.

"Understand what?" he yelled standing up from his seat on the couch. I just shook my head and walked downstairs.

One perk about living in any home owned by Justin Timberlake is that there's a recording studio in the basement. Along with the studio itself it's equipped with a state of the art sound system that could blow anyone's eardrums out of their head. The day after Justin left for LA I started coming down here to get work done, and I'd turn the stereo up as loud as I could handle so that I wouldn't feel like I was alone in the house. We get at least 100 demo's a day mailed into the office, and if I'm being honest only one or two of them actually get played, and half of the time none of them ever cross Justin's path. If I have time I'll listen to a few and if I think they might be something he'd be interested in I'll pass it along to him, but Justin was never one to have interest in people that were actually out there looking for a deal. He was the kind of person that loved to find raw talent from people that had no idea they actually had any potential, and make them a star.

I popped in a demo, and sat down at the desk next to the soundboard pulling out a pile of paperwork I took home from the office after one of the most uncomfortable days in my life. I found myself tapping my foot and bobbing my head to the music, as my pile of papers got lower. I thought that this person might actually have some potential until the last song on the demo started playing. The minute I heard the first chord to "Cry Me a River" I knew this person's chance of getting signed to this label was over. Let me give you one piece of advice. If you ever think about sending a demo to Tennman Records, don't sing one of Justin's songs on it. He doesn't care if you have the best voice in the world; his biggest pet peeve is when people try to impress him by singing one of his own songs. I shook my head while picking up the remote to change the CD.

I got into a groove and started flying through paperwork. Some of the demos were impressive but I knew they wouldn't be good enough for Justin. In a way it was actually nice being able to get my mind off of everything else going on in my life and just do some work. Had I known this would be a good way to do that, I'd have started bringing my work home a lot sooner. My stack was just about gone when the music abruptly stopped, and I jump out of my seat putting my hand over my heart. "Jesus you scared the shit out of me!" I said looking back at Trace who was standing at the controls.

"Are you purposely trying to go deaf?"

"No...I just have to listen to demo's loud, I can't really explain why," I replied sitting back down.

Trace walked over to me and sat down on the desk right next to my paperwork. "I didn't even realize what the date was Em, I'm sorry..."

"It's not a big deal, you know I don't really do birthdays anyway." I picked my pen back up and signed off on another document swallowing the lump in my throat and hoping the conversation wouldn't go any further.

"It's not about your birthday...I should have been there for you today. I should have known and understood and I definitely shouldn't have been yelling at you about a stupid video game."

"It's really not a big deal Trace really. Let's just move on okay?"

"It is a big deal Emily. They were your parents--"

"And it's been 23 years," I said cutting him off. "I don't even remember them anymore. And soon I won't remember Jake either. Maybe then I'll be able to live a normal life and stop being such a bitch. I just...can't anymore."

"Can't what?" he asked putting his hand on my shoulder.

"I can't be this person anymore...this unappreciative, cold hearted, sad, pathetic, bitch of a person that treats everyone like shit because she feels like everyone should feel bad for her. I push people away that care because I'm scared I'll lose them but in the end instead of protecting myself I'm hurting me and everyone else. I deserve you yelling at me, and I deserve Justin hating me but that doesn't mean I like it."

"Do you remember that period of like 4 months in the 6th grade when I screamed at you every time you said something to me?" he asked swiveling my chair around so that I was looking at him.

"When Johnny Woodbury kept calling you a midget and stealing your lunch money?"

"Ugh his name to this day makes me cringe, but yes. I screamed at you and got pissed at you everyday, and you said you hated me because I always made you cry. But the day I told you why I was so angry, you stayed with me for the whole day and if I remember correctly threatened to cut Johnny Woodbury's balls off with a hatchet if he ever tried to talk about me or stole my lunch money again."

"It was a chainsaw, but what's your point?"

"My point is that you had every right to hate me. I treated you like shit and deserved every second of boredom when you took all of our toys in your room and wouldn't let me in. But deep down Em you didn't really hate me, because if you did you would have never stood up for me that day. We all have our days, some of us have weeks and months. Hell I think I've had a year before, but in the end the people who care about you and love you will always be there no matter how long it takes for you to get out of your funk."

"Well I've apparently been in a funk for 23 years..."

"No you haven't. You're in a funk every year around your birthday for reasons that are warranted. Your parents were murdered Emily, you don't just get over that...ever! Not to mention you lost your fiancé this year. You're not just going to magically be better after six months, and no one expects you to be."

"I guess you've never met Justin then," I replied rolling my eyes and turning my chair back to my paperwork. I started reading the page in front of me as Trace just sat there not saying a word. I reread the first sentence about 10 times before I threw the paper down and started to pace. "Look he has every right to be mad at me. He's been there for me with advice and a goddamn place to live for the past 6 months and all I've done is be a complete bitch to him. I just wish he would at least let me apologize instead of acting like we never had a friendship or anything, even if it is fucked up. It kills me to say this but I think...I think somehow I've started to depend on him. How did that fucking happen Trace?" I plopped down on the couch and put my face in my hands trying to figure out how everything got so messed up.

"Justin has been my best friend since I can remember, and you've been my sister since I was three. If there is one thing I know for a fact it's that you two are basically the same people, which is why you guys never got along growing up. Both of you are stubborn and hot headed, and you always need to be right. Sure Justin's helped you out a lot lately, but without even knowing it you've helped him too Em. So you fucked up, apologize and make a conscious effort to change."

"How am I supposed to do that if he won't even talk to me?"

"He'll talk to you trust me."

"How do you know? He was calling me Ms. Logan all day at work today Trace. He hates my guts..."

"I know because he just came home and yelled at me for being an ass to you when it was your birthday Emily."

"He did?" I asked taking my face out of my hands, "I thought he was on a date."

"Well if he was it didn't go so well because he came home alone."

"He bought me an Alf cake..."

"Oh Em," he said sitting next to me on the couch and putting his arm around my shoulder, "He doesn't know..."

"I know," I replied letting tears fall down my face. "Sorry I yelled at you today, you didn't deserve it."

"Let him come to you, make him think he won okay?" I nodded giving him a hug. "I'm going home to Bri. I'll make your birthday up to you I promise."

"Thanks. I'm going to finish up this paperwork and call it a night."

"Love you," he said as he walked up the steps.

"Love you too."

***

Three days of uncomfortable silence passed before Justin and I spoke another word to each other. I took Trace's advice and let him come to me. I was in work by 8:50am every morning, and still did the normal things around the house. I'd get home from work and cook dinner for both of us, except I'd usually eat before Justin got home whereas before I waited for him. Friday night I stayed at the office until all of my meetings were over at 7, and when I got home there was take out on the counter for me. The TV was flickering the highlights of last nights sporting events in the living room while I opened the container of my favorite sushi in front of me. I sat down at the kitchen table and spread the newspaper open to the side of my dinner. I was about to put the first piece of spicy tuna in my mouth when I heard Justin clear his throat and say something I couldn't understand really softly. I waiting with my mouth open and the piece of raw fish inches away from my mouth for him to repeat himself, and before I knew it he was standing next to me.

"I was going to watch The Office from last night..." I looked up at him putting the piece of sushi down on the plate in front of me waiting for him to say something else. "Do you want to watch it with me or...?"

"If you want me to." He nodded, not saying another word and walked back to the couch. I picked up my plate and sat down on the love seat as far away from him as possible and we watched The Office silently as I ate my sushi. Both of us were cautious not to laugh out loud, but I'd look over at him during funny parts and watch his shoulders go up and down as he laughed to himself. Every now and then I'd catch him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, and deep down I was hoping this meant we got the bury the hatchet at some point today.

After the episode ended he put Sport's Center back on and I got up to clean off my plate and run the dishwasher. After I washed my hands, I turned around and let out a little squeal when he was standing right behind me. He was looking down at his hands that were folded in front of him, but didn't move or say anything to me. I stood there holding in a breath not knowing if I should walk away, say something, or wait for him to say something to me. After a good minute or so of silence I went to move out of the kitchen, but he put his hand up signaling me to stop. I stepped back leaning my back against the sink and watched his face. Every couple of seconds he'd snake his  tongue out to lick his lips, and his eyes were blinking a mile a minute. "I'm uhh...I'm going back to LA on Sunday," he finally managed to say.

"Okay," I replied now finding it hard to look at anything other then the floor. Even though we've been avoiding each other for almost a week it still felt good to have him home. Normal almost, and I didn't want him to leave again. I cleared the frog in my throat, "For how long?"

"Three weeks. Then I'll come home for a week and go back for another month."

"Okay..."

Silence filled the room again, and I was begging for something to interrupt us. A phone ringing, an explosion on TV, the doorbell, anything besides this. "So you'll uhh...you'll be okay here by yourself?"

"Yeah. I've got a lot of work to do, and I'm going to be working with Ma and Pa getting the charity for Jake set up so I'll be busy."

He nodded his head, still looking at his hands, and walked away. I closed my eyes and leaned back on the sink praying for this awkwardness to disappear and hoping for us to be able to at least talk before he left again for almost a month.

That night I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning for what felt like days, and when I looked over at the clock to see 3am staring back at me I decided to go to the living room and catch up on some of my shows. Scrolling through my DVR I settled on Grey's Anatomy, and not long after I put my head on the pillow I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up when I felt somebody put me down, and when I opened my eyes I saw Justin reaching for the comforter on my bed. He pulled it up to my chest and was taken aback when he saw me looking back at him.

"You fell asleep on the couch," he said walking towards the door.

I watched him walk out and start pulling to door closed behind him when something in me told me that it was now or never. "Justin wait," I said sitting up, and he turned around with his hand still on the knob. "Look you don't have to talk to me, but I need to talk to you."

"It's 4am..."

"I know, just give me five minutes please?" He looked up at me, and I could have sworn I saw relief in his eyes when he sat down on the end of the bed. I took a deep breath and tried to process in my head what I wanted to say before I actually said it, but all of my thoughts were jumbled up so I just went with what came out. "I don't expect you to forgive me because I don't really deserve your forgiveness, but I need to apologize. I need to apologize for taking advantage of you for the past six months, and for treating you like a piece of shit when you've been nothing but nice to me. You took me into your home without any questions asked, you've given me advice, you've sat there while I cried for hours, and you've been the only person that I've been able to open up to. All I've done is yell at you, tell you that you're wrong, and somehow make you clean up every mess I've managed to make. I realize now that in reality I'm the asshole because you've basically stopped your life to make sure that I'm okay and I didn't even appreciate it--"

"Em I--"

"Let me finish," I said putting my hand up knowing that if I stopped now I would never get the rest of it out. "Ever since I can remember I pushed people that cared about me away because I was afraid if they got too close, they'd leave like so many other people in my life have. I've clearly been successful in pushing you away, and now that you're gone I've realized how much I actually depend on you. You were the only one that was able to get me to laugh after Jake died. You walked me through every step of the grieving process, and you actually listened whenever I spoke. I was able to get up out of bed and go back to work because you were there pushing me to do it because you knew what was best for me. You made it so that I wasn't coming home to an empty house everyday, and changed your way of life around to keep mine somewhat normal. You did all of this for me, and all I've done is bitch, complain and treat you like a piece of shit. For that Justin, I am so sorry. And I promise, from here on out whether you accept my apology or not, I will do everything I can to make it up to you."

"That was quite the speech," he said after a few seconds.

"Wait there's more," I replied getting a second surge of energy. "You went to LA and I was scared. I was scared because I wasn't ready to be alone, and I thought that maybe you'd never come back. I was pissed at you because you left me here, and in my messed up brain I thought the only way I could get back at you was by just not going to work so that's what I did. I was wrong. Wrong for being pissed, and wrong for not going to work. But you need to know that I didn't go on that date to get back at you. I went on that date because my birthday was the next day, and I dread it every year because my parents got murdered on my birthday. So I thought that maybe if I went out with this guy, who was a really nice guy, I wouldn't have to think about my birthday or my parents or Jake or you being away. I knew then, and I know now that I'm not ready. So I'm sorry for doubting you, and for getting mad at you for no good reason. And I want to thank you for my necklace, it really means a lot to me. I'm just...I'm really sorry Justin, for everything that I've managed to do over the last six months. And I want you to know how grateful and how indebted I am to you."

I took in a breath and waited for him to either get up off the bed and leave or say something back to me. I saw the right side of his lip go up in a half smile, and his licked his lips for what seemed like the millionth time before he looked up at me and chuckled, "You forgot about the cake..."